Viking

i start to feel really uncomfortable with the practice. i dont see how asphyxiating oneself can lead to a rest of the mind. to me this practice is just physically dangerous and doesnt make sense. during the practice i feel like i lack oxygen and the head starts to pump, my body enters fight or flight. and i become rather restless, not calm as its supposed to be to enter samadhi or any concentration state. im not sure if its connected but i have headaches and anger issues since the start of the practice. i also cant concentrate even 5 minutes at the end of tye practice, my mind is too restless. also during the practice i fall into thought and forget about the practice while the practice is doing itself.

lmao

could be, as with every experience without psychedelics

I will never be able to find a teacher and I will never trust any teacher. what do you mean by "fancy"? im doing kriya yoga. thank you for the tips, I will see how it goes. meditation anyway is secondary, my main practice is kriya, i meditate when i have time in the morning

thats exactly what have been happening

thanks! that put some order in my mind. ive been extremewly disorganized lately with the content of my mind. yes, but what i tried to say is that this takes sometimes a great deal of effort, and sometimes the energy for that effort is just not there. i always think that theres something to figure out, so i want to think, i feel like my life is not good enough so i gotta think myself out of it, think what should i do.

i just heared that concept from a sadhguru video, its just seeing reality as it is without mental labels, thats all. I am really aware of some of the mental labels i project unto the world but i dont know how to see without them. because meditation shouldnt be dull, meditation should allow me to experience the present moment, but all ive been doing is getting into some routine mind-wandering, in other words lazy meditation. with time i didnt really try to be aware of the breath, but got used to my mind wandering, without concentration.

can you elaborate please? i dont get you

I disagree, because there are mind habits, which take time to go away, thats one of the reasons if you have an awakening experience you get back to usual reality. by my definitions what is is what is seen, heared, felt and thought.

anyone notice when breathing very slowly and the body wants to breathe in sharply but you breathe in continuously, a sudden surge of energy up the spine to the head appears? happens to me especially during the pranayama, in addition to the energy visualization, i dont try to visualize but it still happens.

I also struggled with that, and still am. I guess the mechanism of being aware is like using your muscles, like playing the piano or thinking, it comes with training, do it over and over until it kinda sticks. in the book "the power of now" i find myself being able to "be the observer" so you might get back to that if you forget how to do that.

I dont study medicine but I know the university framework. if you want to be independent you shouldnt care about how western medicine deals with health, because you will be independent (i assume you want to be independent because of the LP). university just gives basic tools to use, actually you learn most of the real stuff after the degree. you dont have to conform to western medicine obviously, although it depends what you want to do, to treat people through some ways you have to get a bunch of permissions from the government. also western science as far as i can tell works, of course stuff can be better but it requires a lot of work, much more than you expect. also people are unconscious, but you are not! you can contribute from a certain perspective.

do some consciousness work, read "the power of now", you dont need other people to be happy or to feel love. You are what you love, not what loves you ~the movie adaptation (2002) (highly recommend it) you need to raise your consciousness, by that i mean becoming aware of your beliefs. for that you will need to read books, meditate, try psychedelics (lsd and shrooms or ayahuasca) you have a lot of beliefs which are simply false and they make you suffer.

i see soo much resistance, of course you suffer so much. you believe your thoughts and identify with them too much. read "the power of now" or "loving what is". bro, read books and watch youtube lectures. it helps a lot. by wanting to return to the old ways you identify with your ego, which you claim you are not, see a contradiction there? just observe the thoughts, watch "the power of now" its critical to absorb information like that if nothing works try to see a psychotherapist, you dont know how much that can help

wait, what do you mean by "party tricks" and "enlightenment"? do you believe enlightenment is real or do you believe enlightenment is a party trick? i dont get what youre trying to say.

i will probably take lsd tomorrow, i really want to have a breakthrough experience, i will try self inquiring and to discover my beliefs. i want some lectures like alan watts or other spiritual teachers that might trigger deep insights to get me going.

thank you for the vids, i did lsd 125ug once and lsa before. im gonna take 125ug

I feel like the slow breath does something to my body, i sometimes shake because i lack breath i think, or its because of energies. I have strange feelings in my head, almost like headaches but not really, theyre not that uncomfortable, theyre there most of my day.

what do you mean by "illusion" and what do you mean by "exist"? there is certainly an experience going on for me right now.

no detachment is needed, just observation. it gives the sense when you try to be empty that theres someone thats capable of that.

no, obviously not, but the movement of thought writes whatever i wrote before and am writing now. it doesnt have to be "me" to act.

what does this concept "absolute nothingness" point to, and how do you know that it exists? well, obviously you dont know if it exists, but lets be openminded and consider an option that there is some transformation of consciousness that does SOMETHING, we dont know what. how does that happen to an individual? how to trigger it? since we hit an intellectual ceiling, we cant think our way there. what can we do? according to material i've read and listened to all you have to do is to be the observer for a long enough time. what I guess would increase the chances of a consciousness jump even more is destroying beliefs, that means not to focus on "what is this absolute nothingness, i have to understand it", but to focus on "what do i believe and dont know that i believe", question everything in other words. do you agree?

what do you mean by that practically? whenever we should wait for something, not get lost in thought but be aware of breath? if doing something, do it fully concentrated on the task?

where did i use theory precisely? as i meant it all there is, is the present experience, no theories involved, maybe i used enlightenment concepts just to explain

if i said "self" i meant ego, which is encompassed in the whole. by whole i mean experience, being, you might call it "self"