Tyler Robinson

Pete Davidson has bpd, maybe that's what it's all about anyway. Classic wars between bpd and bipolar.

That looks like a strange loop.

You know there's a problem when you can't criticize someone. Also if you wanna who is more powerful just see who you're not allowed to criticize. Thoughts worth pondering over.

This is the stupidest thing I watched. No offense.

An hour ago I disabled all my notifications. I won't even know if someone mentioned me. Peace of mind. But my brain is a hyperactive rat. It finds the cheese! How come they get to come back on YouTube after being banned?

So this means we will never have a server problem again.

I'm confused. Weren't they both banned from YouTube!

I found coping through distraction and internet addiction significantly reduced my ptsd.

Recorded 3rd video. I was very depressed while recording this one. I made it 2 hours ago. I was crying discussing my mental health struggles.

Video testing

I have better resources now. One is video making which I always wanted to do for my ventings. And second is journaling extensively. I'm going to journal a lot more from now. I have understood that this is the key. A big fat journal. Also I'll participate in the forum but not too often. I'm also resolving a lot of confusion and conflicts along the way. *pats my back in honor.

All I see is a strong sense of low self worth. Your fundamental worth is not dependent on what others think about you. The moment you'll realize that the better things will be. In this moment you're giving way too power, value and importance to other people in a way that what they say is immediately threatening to your inner core, ego and sense of self. Work on your mentality. Also there could be a component of self judgement. You could be judging yourself harshly on the inside without actually realizing that you are doing this subconsciously. Release yourself, realize that being a human comes with a package of imperfections and flaws and being at the lower end of the social hierarchy is sometimes a blessing because life can be very simple at these levels with less competition and less fake people. There's a lot of psychopathic people at the top who crave sucess and money and do so in unethical ways. Also do gratitude journaling and see what you can be grateful for that you already got. Godspeed.

Today a thought popped up in my mind and it said — large journals. Large large journals.

When something intense happens in my life, that's exactly when life shows me a positive turn. Something upsetting happens and life shows a new door the same moment.

I was going through a lot of stress while recording the video above.

Recorded 3rd video. I was very depressed while recording this one. I made it 2 hours ago. I was crying discussing my mental health struggles.

Once again I want to be in a dream.. Once again I want to be in another world, another reality. Once again I want to escape the mess of everyday reality and go into a mode where my reality is reality and nothing more. I want to be away from the ugliness of life. I want to be poor. I want to be simple I want to be loved. I want to be like a child I don't want the pressures of life. I don't want hate.

Your body gets into emergency preparedness. It's a very very physiologically demanding. That chronic stress hurts you. Suppresses brain function. You'll develop cancer.

Because he is shaming my preference by calling it sexist. When I'm equally entitled to my preference just as he is.

Do your parents feel the same, as in they don't like it either? What about your siblings? Often our likes and dislikes are genetically influenced

What emotion comes up when you eat?

In my opinion, Ye's best creative piece is the song Heartless. Sung from his heart Shows a man's feelings when he is hurt by a woman. Made me cry lol. The lyrics are bomb. Heartless Song by Ye Lyrics In the night I hear 'em talk The coldest story ever told Somewhere far along this road He lost his soul to a woman so heartless How could you be so heartless? Oh, how could you be so heartless? How could you be so, cold as the winter wind when it breeze, yo Just remember that you talkin' to me though You need to watch the way you talkin' to me, yo I mean after all the things that we've been through I mean after all the things we got into Ayo, I know of some things that you ain't told me Ayo, I did some things, but that's the old me And now you wanna get me back and you gon' show me So you walk around like you don't know me You got a new friend, well, I got homies But in the end it's still so lonely In the night I hear 'em talk The coldest story ever told Somewhere far along this road He lost his soul to a woman so heartless How could you be so heartless? Oh, how could you be so heartless? How could be so Dr. Evil? You bringin' out a side of me that I don't know I decided we weren't gon' speak so Why we up 3:00 a.m. on the phone? Why do she be so mad at me for? Homie, I don't know, she's hot and cold I won't stop, won't mess my groove up 'Cause I already know how this thing go You run and tell your friends that you're leaving me (hey) They say that they don't see what you see in me (hey) You wait a couple months then you gon' see (hey) You'll never find nobody better than me In the night I hear 'em talk The coldest story ever told Somewhere far along this road He lost his soul to a woman so heartless How could you be so heartless? Oh, how could you be so heartless? Talk and talk and talk and talk Baby let's just knock it off They don't know what we been through They don't know 'bout me and you So I got something new to see And you just gon' keep hatin' me And we just gon' be enemies I know you can't believe I could just leave it wrong And you can't make it right I'm gon' take off tonight Into the night In the night I hear 'em talk The coldest story ever told Somewhere far along this road He lost his soul to a woman so heartless How could you be so heartless? Oh, how could you be so heartless?

I want to spend this time partying and dancing.

@Max_V because I look up to my man or potential boyfriend as my daddy figure. I want to see my daddy cry so I can know why he is crying and nurse him. But I don't want my daddy to be a loser and sit and do nothing. It will make me feel uninsured, helpless. Because my daddy is my pillar. (replace word daddy with man) It was the best way to explain how we women feel inside. Women are conditioned by birth, biology, environment and evolution to see men as a provider, protector, bodyguard, caretaker and a daddy figure. A father places his daughter's hand into the hands of the groom. It has a meaning to it. It means now her life is in the hands of the husband who is her Lord and caretaker. He wants his daughter to be in safe hands because he is too old to care for her. This responsibility is transferred to the husband. You might find this outdated but you cannot remove biological, cultural and evolutionary conditioning of thousands of years. A woman does not want to see that her bodyguard is weak and cannot solve his problems. It's like a child seeing their parents crying all the time. It can make the child feel terrorized and weak. Seeing a man break down signals impending doom, terror, fear, a falling pillar. A woman feels like she is losing her sense of support and survival, she feels scared and tensed, frightened and cannot cope with the feeling. She might not dump the guy but she will live in constant state of fear, she will not hate him but she might lose attraction. Her attraction to a man is fundamentally rooted in how protected she feels with him. She will no longer be able to dream of him as a protective figure. That kills attraction. It will be similar to you waking up one morning and seeing your girlfriend change into Big Foot Ape. Attraction killed instantly. Like that.

Yea this is how I would imagine it. I wouldn't want my man to dump everything on me because I also expect him to show some spine. At the same time he can be vulnerable with me enough so I can help him. But I will feel somewhat uncomfortable if he used me as an emotional tampon. It's like kids who expect their parents to share their struggles with them but at the same time they don't want the parents to lose responsibility as parents