Emerald

That's something that you must choose relative to different facets of life. And that is also part of making sovereign choices. But if one gets caught up in victim's mentality, they give up their power to whichever person or group they're labeling as the villain in an "across the board" way.

Yes, Black Israelites believe that they were the original Jewish people that were the REAL descendants of the ancient Israelites. And of course, Nazism is the classic example of the mythologized past of the "ancient Aryan people". But these are common because it works on people by presenting them with a myth that makes those with a strong collective national identity feel superior just by belonging to that group... and enables them to feel collective grief and grievance at "them" who brought down the superior people.

Just keep in mind that power and responsibility always rise and fall together. And as responsibility grows... so does your power. And as you reject personal responsibility... you lose personal power. And as you project more responsibility onto others... they gain more power over you (psychologically and/or otherwise).

Sure. I don't track it too closely. And I don't do cold outreach because I have a YouTube channel. So, I don't have any data for the response rate as people just sign up for calls directly from my emails or videos. But my appointment show rate is probably about 65%. And then, about 20% of my appointments sign up. But it's getting easier now because this program for helping people overcome self-sabotage is one I've been doing for about a year. So, I'm getting more referrals. So, it's about 60% sign-up rate for referrals.

@stephenkettley I actually was just asked this by someone else. I've been working as a coach for the past 6.5 years. Here are the recommendations that I gave to the other person... "The main challenge with having a sustainable coaching practice is getting clients. I was able to make it work pretty easily because I have a YouTube channel with a decent-sized audience. And it's ideal to set up some kind way for many people to get free value from you... either through YouTube, social media, speaking gigs, etc. But there are tons of people who are making a living off of coaching who don't have that. Instead, they learn the following... Cold Outreach and Appointment Setting on social media or over the phone Sales (how to conduct and close discovery calls on Zoom) With those two things, what you need is to do a lot of volume (50+ cold outreaches per day). But be sure to mind the limits of any given social media app you use. You'll also want to build a signature coaching program that has a unique value proposition that solves a major pain point for people. For example, I help people overcome self-sabotage. Then, decide on the number of sessions in the coaching package (I do 13 one-hour 1-1 sessions in mine). And price it at the value of the value proposition, not for your time. I recommend a minimum price of $1500. I charge $2800 for my signature coaching program because it solves a major problem for people and they will be able to get far more value back than what was invested. This also helps when you get people on discovery calls as you can position your coaching offer as the thing that alleviates that pain point. Here's the order that I recommend doing things in... Figure out your value proposition for your coaching package - ie."I help (target audience) go from (pain point) to (desired state) so that (positive consequences of being at the desired state and away from the pain point)." Figure out how many sessions and other things that your coaching package will include and what the price will be Try it out on family and friends for free Do cold outreach to find your first 5 clients to join at a special beta price (half off is good) You'll need to learn cold outreach, appointment setting, and how to conduct discovery calls Iterate on the program based on the feedback of those 5 clients Do lots of volume (50-100+ outreaches per day) with cold outreach Continue to improve your sales skills Ideally - create a YT channel, social media account(s), or some other way for people to find you and get free value from you Get those people on an email list, so that you can send them information about your offers and get them on discovery calls"

@Majed I think you must be giving off some desperate vibes when you're doing pick-up. Women can easily sense that you're coming with an agenda that you're holding onto too tightly. Instead, you would probably get a lot more success if you just learn to socialize in general and make some friends (male and female). The more well-resourced you are with your social circle, the less you'll come off as desperate and needy. Think about social connection like it's water. Now, if you already have plenty of water, you can be fairly casual about your relationship with water. You don't have to worry about it because you know it's there. And you're well-resourced. But if were out in the desert for 2 days with no water with zero clue on when you'd get water next... you'd be freaking out about water and feeling so desperate for it. Right now, you're probably in the latter state... where you're not socially well-resourced. And so, you're putting so much pressure on making pick-up work out. And it's probably coming across in a way that repels because of the desperation. It's sort of like me in elementary school when I had no friends. I got SUPER desperate about it... and that desperation repelled people even more.

Yes, that is true that MAGA has the Fascist Golden Age structure of "We were once great, but we fell. So, we need to make us great again!" What I mean is that our Fascist mythos is more based on vague ideas about the 1950s, which is something we have more information about. There's an idealization and a super-imposition of a mythos that intertwines with the pop-culture of that time. But the American "Make the empire great again" story doesn't involve outlandish ideas like "the ancient Americans built the pyramids"... but only because we hang our ultranationalist stories on more modern events that we have less mystery around. The closest thing to that is in Mormonism where they believe that the Garden of Eden was located in America.

@NewKidOnTheBlock Hey! I was reading through this thread, and I found my name! I get that it's not fun to have something pointed out about yourself that's a "flaw". But victim's mentality will genuinely bring your life down in so many ways. So, it's actually good to become conscious of it if there's a patterns of feeling like "'x group' is responsible for my unhappiness"... regardless of of whether x group is men, women, construction workers, or furries. etc. It's a subtle way of offloading both personal responsibility and personal power... and then getting to wallow in self-pity because "the villain group is causing me strife." But it just steals your power from you... and it will make it harder for you to connect with people if you're seeing others as the villains of your story.

The US doesn't really have that too much. But it's not because we outgrew it or something. I'm sure that if such a narrative were fed to nationalist-types in a drip-fed propaganda kind of way, they'd lap it right up. I just think it's harder to do when you're a multi-ethnic country... and a young one at that. If you know the starting point of a people OR it's really clear that there's little blood relation between the people, it's harder to super-impose that kind of stuff onto their history.

But you forget... that while that may be true, they were only the lowly stone masons in my family's employ, who drew up all the blue prints for all the great monuments and commissioned all of them.

Apt

That's interesting. I had assumed that all older countries have a group of hyper-nationalist Fascist-types dreaming up all sorts of wild stories like that. But it then causes me to wonder... is it just because the outlandish story places that have that have a fuzzier history, or one that isn't well-taught in schools?

That doesn't surprise me at all. I'm sure that it's in every country that's 500+ years old.

I know quite a few Hungarians through my husband (both in Hungary and in the states), and most of them are not very nationalistic.. except for a few of his more distant friends. But yes. Lots of Hungarian nationalists want the land back from Romania and will hate on Romanians because they took Transylvania like 100 years ago. And they did fall from being the powerful Hapsburg Austo-Hungarian empire to being a poorer country when that happened. So, it is a collective national trauma. But it was deeply ingrained into my husband growing up (in the 80s and 90s) that there was this default hatred of Romanians. Then, when he was in his teens he was like "Why do I hate Romanians?" And he realized that he had no reason to and that it was stupid. But Hungarians hating Romanians for taking the land was seemingly as normalized as hating on gay people was back in the 90s. It was just taken for granted as the norm. And to be fair, there are Hungarians that are native to Transylvania (my late brother in law was Hungarian but born in Transylvania). But there are FAR more Romanians in Transylvania. So, it makes sense that things are as they are. But it's literally just doing the group-think that comes along with maintaining a nationalist identity to hate on an out-group.

Yes TOTALLY delusional. My husband and I frequently laugh about it as he's never had a strong nationalist identity. But unfortunately it's not new delusion at all. Most older countries probably have some similar version of that as it's the archetypal ultra-nationalist Golden Age narrative. Americans are somewhat spared from it in our country's mythos because of the fact that we learn a lot of real facts about how America was founded since it's just about 250 years old. And the delusional narratives we use are more like sugar-coated superimpositions of fanciful meaning onto stuff that did happen (like Manifest Destiny being used to explain away genocide) rather than all-out fabrications of stuff that never ever happened that's 100% myth. Also, the fact that we know that we're a nation of many different cultures prevents nationalists from mythologizing about Americans being the superior people of the same blood. And that instead gets placed onto racial identity instead of national identity. But if America was comprised of one single ethnic group (or appeared to be) and America were 500+ years old, you'd be hearing all kinds of outlandish tales about how the original pure-blooded ancient Americans were responsible for building the great pyramids. Yet again, according to Mormonism, the Garden of Eden was located in America. So, there are some instances of this.

@Leo Gura Who would have thought that someone whose work theorizes and waxes poetic about a mythological past where there were ancient advanced civilizations that were once great and then fell would be attractive to Fascists. This is just par of the course for nationalistic Fascist types or even just run of the mill nationalists from other countries outside of the US... but you don't see a lot of this with American nationalists because America is such a new country. So, we build our country's nationalist mythos differently than older countries build their nationalist mythos. Instead, you only see this "we were once a great ancient people until they took us down" around the concept of race in more niche Neo-Nazi echo chambers, since there is more of a taboo against racism that isn't there with nationalism (which can be framed as patriotism). But my husband is Hungarian, and he knows some run-of-the million Hungarian nationalists, who are as passionate about Hungary as American nationalists are about America. And it wasn't too uncommon for them to believe some wild pseudoscientific stories like... "Here's the REAL story about the ancient Hungarians who once were the dominant world power and were responsible for ALL innovations in the great early civilizations." This is me paraphrasing what I remember from reading one of these articles that one of his friends posted on FB like 10 years ago... 'Hungarians were the original people who were behind all the advanced civilizations in the world. In fact, it was Hungarians who taught the Ancient Egyptians how to build the pyramids. And Hungarians used to be the dominant people in the world, until (fill in x group) came and oppressed them and stole credit for all of the things Hungarians created.' So, when you have a "historian" who talks about Atlantis... and how it was once a great civilization and then fell, it tracks on nicely with the Fascist tendency to put the archetypal "myth of the golden age" in some idealized past that never actually existed. The concept of Atlantis in general is a great "blank screen" that Fascists (and run-of-the-mill nationalist types) can project their mythologized past onto.

Right wing pundits often misuse post-modern relativism to muddy the waters and create confusion... so that they can convince the average non-political person to shift further right. Post-modern relativism gives them the veneer of a balanced view of "just sharing a perspective... and who's to say who's right or wrong". Jordan Peterson tends to do this a lot... especially in the past when he was playing the part of the intellectual who's just "considering all the perspectives." But this is just them using that element of Stage Green as a tool. They're typically using this Stage Green tool as a way to re-normalize and resurrect old values (usually traditional or ethnocentric blue values) that society now deems as taboo. So, it's the post-modern "let's look at the myriad of different perspectives because that's the balanced thing to do."... and once people fall for it enough to normalize those perspectives, it turns into "This is actually the ONLY correct way to think about the world. If you disagree, there's something wrong with you or evil about you. And we want to codify this paradigm into law and punish anyone who challenges it."

If I were in that position, I'd probably want to keep 90%+ of it in the market in a stable long-term diversified investment fund. Bear in mind that the longer you keep that money invested, the more you get compound interest on it. And if you keep that money in there until you're at retirement age, you will have a nice comfortable old age. And that's important to prioritize. But, if I were in that same position where my investments are great, in the future, I would also make sure that I'm putting away money every month just for personal enrichment. I might also take out 10% of what I put into the market to have as a liquid asset to use for personal enrichment... education, travel, experiences, fun, etc.

It's probably similar to why Mormon's aren't supposed to drink coffee. You'd think the prohibition on drinking coffee is because of the caffeine content... which is what I always assumed. I thought it was similar to prohibiting alcohol because caffeine is also a psychoactive substance. But the actual reason why Mormon's aren't supposed to drink coffee is because Joseph Smith (the founder of Mormonism) was reading some random article back in the 1800s that said that hot drinks were unhealthy for the body. And he believed that. Then, he told his followers that they should stop drinking coffee because he thought the article had sound advice. Though from what I understand, he also wasn't super strict about that himself. So, while I'm almost positive that the prohibition on eating pork originally came from health concerns... the continued adherence to it is just because that's what the rules are that the leadership of the religion set up. And people have just put a lot of stock into those that set up the religion.

It seems that there's an incompatibility between you and her in terms of your values and lifestyle preferences. You have to decide whether or not that's a deal-breaker to you. Some people would be okay with sacrificing psychedelic use for a relationship because it isn't that big of a deal for them. But others would not feel okay with making that sacrifice. For me, I don't use psychedelics often. I do an Ayahuasca ceremony once per year, and that's it. And I'm probably not going to do it again for a good long while because the Ayahuasca church that I usually attend closed up. But even I still wouldn't be okay if I had a partner whose values didn't match my own who gave me an ultimatum that I can't do an Ayahuasca ceremony... not because that person is wrong for having those boundaries themselves, but because it just wouldn't be a good fit. I'd definitely break up with them because they wouldn't be understanding why I do the ceremony... and they'd just be on a totally different wavelength. And I'd definitely say that sex is not a good reason to stay in a relationship. And that you would stay in for sex indicates to me that you have some scarcity thinking around sexual/romantic connection. This may be what's led you into an incompatible relationship in the first place. So, you have to question whether these value incompatibilities are a deal-breaker for you... or if you're willing to make the sacrifices she needs to feel comfortable in the relationship. Those are really the only two options.

@aurum It seems you're correct about Stage Green within the model itself. But I suppose, I disagree with that characterization within the model. What seems quite evident to me is that each level of development forms a unique and sustained societal structure... from Purple to Orange. But Green never gets seen as a sustained collective societal structure. And in order for a Stage Green culture to truly coalesce into the mainstream (beyond just random political or hippie circles)... as all other stages have done, you have to have an ordering principle. And the more individualist stages of human development require deconstruction and chaos where individualism is the highest value. But in more collective societal structures, you actually have to have a structure. So, I think the model is a bit faulty in that way because they are making conjectures about Green without ever witnessing a Stage Green society in the way that they have witnessed or have historical records of societies from Stage Purple to Stage Orange. That's why I don't perfectly agree with the Spiral Dynamics framework in this regard to the quote you mentioned... as it's framing Stage Green and hyper-individualistic and deconstructive, when re-coalescing collectivist phases of human development require convergence and limitation. Otherwise, Stage Green would be the only phase of human development that isn't possible to reach in a sustainable way. And that doesn't make any sense why we'd just have to skip that one as a collective.

I think you're misunderstanding both Stage Green and conservatism. Stage Orange is where the deconstructive process happens... but Stage Green is about recoalescence and re-ordering. I notice that people often misunderstand what Stage Green is... and think about the current state of left politics as that is the closest thing to Green that is currently on offer. But we live in a Stage Orange society. And current-day leftists are mostly Stage Orange with a smattering of Green. And that's because Green is merely a future vision at this point. But because a Green society hasn't been fully lived or fathomed of on the world-stage, even the most Stage Green people amongst us are seeing Green through the individualistic lens of Stage Orange. But Stage Green proper is fundamentally about re-coalescing back into community... and that requires a resurgence of collective ordering structures and the limitation of the individual. So, you cannot move forward to Stage Green without integrating healthy conservatism. But when most people think about Green, they think of lefty politics... as that is what Green is from the perspective of Orange. But Green is actually about the re-coalescing of community that was present in Stage Blue... only with greater levels of human sovereignty realized and with greater skills with understanding how to come together as a community without sovereignty being squelched. Purple, Blue, and Green all have that same community coalescence dynamic... but on levels that have a wider circle of concern as you go up the Spiral... and that have greater space for human potential to come forth. And you can't have collectivism without containers and ordering structures.

I wouldn't necessarily call it sense-making... as that suggests something that's more about active intellectual rigor and reconciling multi-varied perspectives to produce a more holistic understanding of a given situation or the world at large. To talk about it in Spiral Dynamics terms... that's a more Stage Yellow kind of perspective on things. In contrast, these medicine experiences that I mentioned are more in Turquoise... if I'm to characterize them through the SD model. And it's not so intellect-heavy, nor is it a state of active sense-making. And you cannot 'get there' through sense-making or anything that's too mind-heavy It's more of an embodiment of Christ consciousness and being able to feel the unity and oneness... and from there deeper holistic intuitions arise that emotionally lay bare truths that were previously clouded and obscured by judgment and ignorance. And the root causes of macrocosmic collective issues are effortlessly seen with crystal clarity without needing to figure them out because the understanding is already etched in the human heart... and then the solutions become obvious. So, I'd call it more as unconditional compassion or Christ consciousness... which entails being in the wisdom-receptive state and depth of understanding and alignment that unconditional compassion enables you to be in. And it doesn't really require intellectual rigor per se... nor sense making. It's more of a subtractive process of the removal of the judgments and ignorances that cloud the heart wisdom from our conscious awareness and prevents us from dropping into the embodiment of Christ Consciousness. And while Stage Yellow is useful, you can't really get there from Yellow. But someone could drop into Christ Consciousness, understand the root causes and then use that understanding to choose a problem to solve on the deeper root level. But I agree that healthy conservatism must be found and integrated. Right now, what's on offer is dangerous and degenerative. I suspect we will find healthy conservatism in the rise of the intentional communities of Stage Green.

@integral This one seems promising... Targeting Microclots & Blood Flow – There is evidence COVID causes microvascular damage. One user in an Mt. Sinai trial found he had microclots impairing penile blood flow (Long haulers with Erectile Dysfunction : r/covidlonghaulers). His doctor put him on anticoagulants (Eliquis + aspirin) for nearly a year, until labs normalized (Long haulers with Erectile Dysfunction : r/covidlonghaulers). He also took fibrinolytic enzymes to dissolve clots and did hyperbaric oxygen therapy (HBOT) – together these brought him “essentially to baseline” and ultimately cured his ED (Long haulers with Erectile Dysfunction : r/covidlonghaulers) (Long haulers with Erectile Dysfunction : r/covidlonghaulers). Numbness in the groin was attributed to small-fiber neuropathy from poor circulation, which improved with these treatments (Long haulers with Erectile Dysfunction : r/covidlonghaulers). This suggests that addressing microcirculation issues (under medical supervision) can restore erectile function in long COVID.

One thing that could be important to take into account is that your dad likely repressed his own guilt and his own conscience to enable him to continue doing these crimes. And there is a saying that goes something like "The biggest burden to the child is the unlived life of the parent." So, you may even be taking on the burdens of your father's guilt... and taking it on as your own. There's also dynamics where people who are in powerless or very low power situations, can tend to internalize blame and shame themselves in order to give the illusion of power. These are just some other dynamics that I've seen a couple clients of mine (who have criminal parents) go through. But the reality is that you were not to blame for anything that was going on. And expecting yourself to turn him in, is almost like expecting yourself to cut your own limb off... as children are wired to bond with their parents out of a deep survival need.