Emerald

A person doesn't lose the ability for intellectual thinking when they become enlightened, any more than they lose their sense of sight. It is just that they realize that they aren't the one who owns the thoughts, they aren't the one who controls the thought, and that they are not the thoughts themselves. Intellectual thinking is just a faculty of the human lens just like the sensory abilities of the five senses. No abilities are lost when enlightenment is reached, only your perceived relationship to them.

Thank you. :) My thoughts are always doing the same thing, getting me to react particular ways to derail my progress toward unraveling the illusion of ego.

I think being nice and compassionate to others is great. I choose to live my life this way. I wouldn't want to live any other way. That said, being nice is one of the egos FAVORITE ways to hide and sustain itself. The ego is very self-congratulatory, and spins tons of stories about how '"I'M" such a good person." "If only everyone in the world were as nice as "ME." "'I' give way too much to others." etc... You CANNOT reach enlightenment simply by deciding to do good deeds. It gets the cart before the horse. Become enlightened and your niceness will be without the agenda of ego. Until then, everything is infected by the egoic agenda. And I do mean Everything. Until then, continue doing good things. It's better for you and everyone else. But it won't get you to enlightenment.

The way to do this is to get really present to the difference between a mode of perception and the content within that perception. So, all that you sense are the 5 senses (sight, sound, touch, taste, smell) and thought. In each of these six dimensions of experience there is content. So, in your field of sight, you may be seeing yourself in the mirror, a friend, a tree, or some other thing. But become aware of the fact that your sight can be boiled down to content on a flat surface. If you have a picture and notion of how your friends are in your head, understand that this is the content of a thought. Don't get caught up in content. Also, break the illusion that there is a connection between each mode of perception. So, sight and touch may not have anything to do with one another despite the fact that you're used to linking them to navigate your way through the world. Also, become present to the fact that your past and future are all figments of your imagination. You don't even know if they actually correspond to a past reality. You don't know if they're just memory implants or some such. So, the only thing that is actually real to you in your present experience are the content in your field of awareness relating to the 5 senses and thought. So, that leaves you with awareness itself, instead of your thoughts about what is real. Awareness itself is the empty space that your perceptions and thoughts happen within. So, your comment is still stuck within the content of your perception of thought. If you back away from your attachment to these thoughts, you can see that all this content of thought springs from nowhere.

It's a lot like a Jenga Tower. When you take out the core Jenga blocks, all the Jenga blocks above it fall away.

-I'm making great progress toward becoming enlightened. -If I am more reasonable, smart, or informed than someone else, my viewpoints are superior... No, because I understand the nature of paradoxes... So, no viewpoints are superior... So, I'm not superior in any way... Realizing this is superior to not realizing this... Gosh I'm so aware... Damnit... No.... Gah!!! -I can't get my life under control -I'm not lazy -If only my life situation were more stable, I'd be happy

The ego is the content of a thought that all other beliefs and assumptions are centered around. It is nothing more than the core false assumption on which all other assumptions are based. So, the ego only exists as the content of a thought. An emotion on the other hand is the sensation that springs into your awareness in response to a thought. So, you can have an emotional response in relation to the thoughts of ego and the ones built off of it. But emotions themselves are not the result of ego.

That makes sense. I fall into the trap of getting involved in the mental chatter. What helps me is to dis-identify with the thoughts. So, realizing that if you are aware of a thought coming up, you have no control over it or ownership of it. So, the rationalizations will come on their own. But don't listen to their content, just be aware of them as a presence. So, you can even label them as thoughts as they come up.

I asked this question Not to negate the value of modesty. Modesty is certainly a good leadership quality. But because Leo is trying to become enlightened, I was using this hoping to spark thoughts for contemplation into things he may take for granted. I'm sort of pretentious like that.

To give a bit of background, six years ago I had two artificially catalyzed enlightenment experiences, and I've been thirsting to "get back" ever since. So, since around the time of my experiences (in fact right after my first experience), life has been giving me some real lemons. Prior to my experiences, I was really into personal development and I had ironclad willpower. I was on top of life and very successful with every endeavor that I undertook. But ever since my enlightenment experiences (which were not permanent) I have been in a constant struggle to just get my shit together. Trying to do personal development work used to be a breeze to me and super inspiring, but now it's like trying to lift 500 lb weights off my chest. My life situation is just unstable enough to NOT be comfortable. I used to be on top of everything and now I'm a mediocre mom and a terrible 'just about everything else.' I function just enough to keep my head above water. So, a lot of my energy is spent trying to get life under control but it always goes right back to disarray. I use pleasant, interesting, or sexual fantasies to medicate and distract myself from the bleakness of life. I always attributed this to traumatic experiences that happened in and around the time of my experiences as well as my realization that I was striving for significance in my external endeavors. But I have been sooo wrong! I just realized something HUGE! All of my life struggles, fantasies, and all of my inability to get my life under control are part of a meticulously crafted distraction mechanism created by the ego to keep me from unraveling it. It knows that I have seen through its illusion before and it doubled down to keep me from doing it again. This whole time I've been identifying with my thoughts and naively trusting that my thoughts have the same interests in enlightenment as I do. I'm onto your game, ego! Your number is up!

Thank you. I'll keep that book in mind for future reading. Learning to let go will be a challenge for me, but I'm sure that it will yield good results.

This is great advice. Those ego-traps are so effective that I've been stuck in this one for years and not even realized it. I will definitely keep the ups and downs in mind, and realize that they are often a sign of progress. Thank you for sharing

The answer is that no one knows the answer to that question. But if your goal is enlightenment, trying to answer this question is just more thought content and can never produce awakening. To think that you're a small being in an infinite universe is an assumption. Thinking that you are the only thing in existence is an assumption too. Both fall on the other side of the horse because they are rationalizations. The idea is to become aware and present of the FACT that you really can't know. It is when you empty your cup of assumptions and beliefs regarding reality, that you can become ripe for a breakthrough of enlightenment which occurs beyond thoughts, understandings, and concepts. The best thing you can do is to get present to the fact that you really don't know. "Not-Knowing" is a state that Peter Ralston talks about as the state you must be in to have an enlightenment breakthrough. All that said, your subjective experience is closer to the concept that your field of awareness is all of existence. So, explore your subjective experience beyond the idea that you're a small person in an infinite universe. If you can't see your eyes, they don't exist in your field of visual awareness, so they are a belief. If you aren't in your house it becomes a belief that your house exists. It doesn't mean that they DEFINITELY don't. It means that you don't know and can't know. This is the radical openness needed for a breakthrough which will come whenever it wants to.

You're making an assumption that there are other beings. Emptiness is the container for your perceptions and thoughts. That is existence itself. Other beings are content within your perception. So, "you" are all of it.

Some people reach enlightenment in the dentist chair without any meditation or even knowledge of enlightenment. So, there's a chance. But spontaneous enlightenment through masturbation is probably more of a long-shot than getting struck by lightening the same day you won the lottery. That said, orgasm is called 'the little death' so I suppose it is possible. Even thought @Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj was probably kidding, you could probably ask yourself those questions if you wanted to do a masturbation meditation thing. But you'd be inquiring into questions like "Where is the pleasure coming from and where does it go?" "Is there a body?" and just focusing on the raw perceptions of the experience.

This is a really great quote. Maybe I should try to really live the truth that I have no control over my thoughts and the circumstances of my life. Right now, the knowledge is only abstract. But getting in touch with surrender will help me detach from the obsessive thoughts of control and the negative emotions that accompany the lack of acceptance.

I will do this. I've been warring against life for years. It's time to surrender. I need to stop wishing that I was somewhere else other than where I am. To try to find happiness in a future version of myself and my life, has been my biggest distraction.

Thank you. Dis-identification with thought has been the most valuable advice that I've come across on the path thus far. I will be sure to put this into practice much more by really paying attention to it. With my experiences, I heard the 'whisper of grace' very clearly. The clarity and wisdom that came to me just sprung up from nowhere. It didn't come from something that I identified as me. It was this deep feeling that I knew everything that I needed to know as a human being; no more and no less. My cravings for seeking knowledge were reduced. Because my experiences were catalyzed by Ayahuasca and not permanent, I'm almost desperate to come home. It was like getting a small taste of the most delicious food in the universe and wanting more.

This is exactly where I am. Nothing satisfies. All I want is enlightenment. It's a squalid place to be. But you made me realize something in your post. My mind keeps creating struggles to keep me from waking up. Then it creates pleasant fantasies of all sorts of medicate me against the bleakness of the struggles. It's all a big unnecessary back and forth distraction to keep me from acceptance and stillness. It's sort of like the scene in the movie "The Labyrinth" where Sarah is getting close to Goblin castle and all the talking heads are telling her "You're going the wrong way!" "Turn back now or there will be sudden death!" "Beware!" just to get her off track. Only I'm believing that those talking heads are me and share my goal of becoming enlightened. I'm onto you Mr. Mind.

This is a valid course of action. There is nothing wrong with choosing to live the illusion. It doesn't invalidate your life and it doesn't make you less of a person. That said, the egoic path is one of constant suffering, struggling, and unhappiness that you've become so unconscious of that you only occasionally notice it. This sounds like exaggeration, but it isn't. When I had my enlightenment experiences, I became myself again. All my pretenses dropped away and my self-lies became apparent. I was fully in touch with my being. I loved everything in existence, including myself, unconditionally. I could have felt genuine compassion even for Hitler, during those experiences. I no longer had fear of anything... including death. Actually, I was able to find beauty in the fact that I would die one day because I realized that I was a part of a beautiful divine cycle. Even tragedies became part of the beautiful divine order. I was in a state of complete acceptance, and wisdom sprung up effortlessly and I had complete clarity about what the best course of action was for me to take. All of the traits that I every repressed became conscious once more. It was a state of wholeness that even surpassed the joy that I felt in my earliest childhood memories. I had no more insecurities regarding my self-worth and I no longer based my self-worth off of my actions. I felt myself as an integral part of the fabric of existence, and knew that this was where my true eternal significance was. There is nothing to lose from becoming enlightened, and everything to gain. You may feel some uncomfortable emotions along the way, but that is because some of the abstract notions of enlightenment sound very bleak. Enlightenment is the exact opposite of how it sounds to the rational mind. If you had any small glimpse (even for 10 seconds) of what you had to gain, you probably wouldn't be throwing in the towel. But that's just my commercial for enlightenment. It is truly just as valid to live from ego, if that is what you want. But don't let fear of the unknown scare you away.

Well said.

Thank you. That's true. Accepting whatever comes is an important factor.

You have no control over your thoughts. If you try to remove Pink Elephants from your thoughts all that will come are more thoughts about pink elephants. So awareness is a separate thing from thought. So, when an undesirable thought bubbles up bring your awareness to an object of your sensory perception. The breath is a great one. So, if the thought comes up, let it come but disengage from it by focusing on the breath. If it keeps pulling your attention away, keep mindfully returning your focus to the breath. Thoughts are like paper tigers. They have no real power, and if you don't feed them with your attention, they die a gradual death. So, revert your focus and they will naturally fade. You are not your thoughts. You have no control over the content of your thoughts. What will come up will come up. But you do have control over whether or not you believe, identify with, or pay attention to your thoughts.

It might be true that you are a small person in a vast universe. There is no way to prove or disprove it. But this is also an assumption and a belief. It would also be an assumption and a belief to say that your perceptions are the only thing in existence. The point is to understand how little you know and how little progress your thoughts on reality will yield you. Either of these concepts exist in the content of thoughts. They are rationalizations. If they weren't, I wouldn't be able to write them. You must be able to differentiate beliefs from reality to get a real experience of your own being. So, it is a belief to assume that it is true that you are an individual in a vast universe. It is also a belief, to assume that the only thing that exists are the things that are in your present awareness. What is really true, lies beyond these two concepts. But if you can understand the assumptions that you have about reality, you can get into a state of genuine open-ness, where you're more likely to have a breakthrough and realize your own enlightenment. This was the intention behind my previous message.

The idea is that you are everything, and you do experience everything. The issue is that you don't realize your assumption that you are a small person in an infinitely vast universe. You take for granted that you are a small element in a larger existence. This is getting caught up in the illusion. But it is equally likely that your perceptions in the present moment are existence itself. So you have the content of your thoughts and the content of your five senses. These occur in the field of awareness that is nothingness. Imagine that there is nothing more than what you perceive right now in the present moment. Past is just a thought. Future is just a thought.