Emerald

What I'm saying is that polarizing away from feelings and seeing them as an invalid or inferior source of wisdom will create major blindspots to Truth. For example, it is feeling that allows us to realize truths that cannot be experienced purely intellectually. Like in the case of the realities of suffering. Without feeling, we can approach the topic of suffering only intellectually. But we cannot glean the real wisdom to truly understand the situation. I see it all the time on this forum, where so much foolishness is normalized through complex intellectual frameworks that inadvertently normalize what ought not to be normalized.

It's really just a tell about the person who's saying it. Like attracts like. Typically, one of the biggest tells about how a person operates in the world is in how they describe other people... especially romantic partners. If a person is fairly positive about other people, that person is probably seeing themselves reflected back to them in their choice of company. The same is true of a person who has nothing good to say about other people. It's like if you hear a woman talking about how all men cheat and are horrible people that can't be trusted. And I have no doubt that the woman is actually experiencing that, because those guys really do exist. But it is more of a tell about her... at the very least about her self-esteem and sense of self-worth creating a lack of discernment... and at most, she's a crazy one too. So, when I hear men complaining about women being crazy and unhinged... at best, I think he's got low self-esteem and isn't discerning enough about his choice in partners... and at worst, he's also unhinged as well.

I just said that the sense that sex and relationships are truly scarce is an illusion that more has to do with a particular man's mindsets about the situation. That's why some men don't struggle, while others do. It's about the head game. I fail to see how that's a politically correct take. Do you know what politically correct means?

I have children. My son is 10 and my daughter turns 14 in 2 days and is going into high school in a few weeks. And I would say that her social group does seem to get together.... not quite as much as in my generation. But still here and there at least. But a lot does happen via text as well. So, I think that a lot gets lost. And I sense that it's moreso early-20-somethings that are struggling more who are not in a school environment.

That is what meant by only 1 woman who's open to hook-ups for every 10 guys who are open to hook-ups. I didn't mean that regarding the ratios of men and women in number of individuals in the establishment. I was assuming an equal number of men and women out at the club/bar.

@Joshe Honestly, building a social circle is super beneficial in so many ways. It also allows attractions to organically develop, which is what most women prefer anyway. It's a shame that the past 20 years has seen such a decline in social connection. A lot of the guys who are struggling now to have sex and find a partner would not be struggling 20 years ago. They'd just be in some co-ed social circle as a teenager and some girl in the social circle would take a shine to them and that'd be it.

One time, when I was a teacher (I was about 25), our van broke down. So, I had to take a cab to work. And I got into the cab and there was this very rough looking middle aged man driving the cab. And he started asking me the usually cabby questions. And I was telling him that I was a graphic design teacher and some other random factoids about myself. Nothing too crazy. And he was like, "Wow! That's amazing that you have that going on for you. Every single woman that I know is on pills." And it just blew his mind to be interacting with a woman who wasn't a crazy drug addict. He had no idea that he had simply been interacting with unhinged women because he was an unhinged guy. To him, I was like this rarity just for having a job and not being strung out. So, he thought that these compliments would mean a lot to me... because clearly, I'm also aware that "all other women except myself are crazy druggies". So, it must have been some amazing feat of willpower for me not to be. But for me, it was really just a tell about himself. He was a rough guy. So, he was hanging out with rough women. Like attracts like. So, if half the women you've met are met are mentally unhinged...

Some truths can only be made conscious through feeling.

Again... you're confusing polarity with gender dynamics, which is leading to a poor understanding of polarity. This is the issue when most people talk about this topic because they get so focused on sexual relationships between men and women that the real value of this understanding is missed completely. This isn't about what men and women do. Gender norms and patterns often follow these general lay-lines but sometimes diverge. And it is far more complex because the opposites grow out of one another. For example, because of the Masculine's loftiness and aim for perfection... this begets the orderliness of geometry. And that geometry is what contains the chaos of the organic forms of the Feminine which are found in nature. What you're referring to is that the Feminine is chaotic and needs the geometry and orderliness of the Masculine to contain it. Think of it like putting organically shaped objects into geometrically shaped objects... like putting clothing up into a drawer or putting dishes into a cupboard. Or if one creates a schedule for themselves, they're putting a Masculine geometry around the Feminine chaotic nature of day to day living... which could be part of a Masculine progression towards a lofty Masculine goal. But you must also consider that youth is Masculine principled while age is Feminine principled. So, young women will naturally have a lot of Masculine polarity traits like idealism. In fact, women as a whole group are more Masculine than men in terms of their ability to create fantasy scenarios in their mind. Yet again, this runs into the archetype of the Wise Woman... which is about inner knowing and wisdom. So, it becomes Feminine again from that angle. So, you must understand that these dichotomies are a specific angle to look at these polarities. But because the Masculine grows out of the Feminine and the Feminine grows out of the Masculine, you will always find a Masculine angle through which to view the Feminine and a Feminine angle through which to view the Masculine. These qualities are inseparable.... like Yin and Yang. Don't confuse them with what men and women generally do... but you can also understand what's at play with patterns around men and women as a whole group. And you can notice where polarizations exist.

How can one demonstrate the opposite is true? These are understandings that I've gleaned from my medicine journeys in my ability to pick up on these subtle qualities... as well as reading Jungian authors and learning to understand archetypal symbolism in literature and in imagery. Remember, these are not about gender norms... or about men and women very much at all. Sometimes men (as a whole group) will have more of an Feminine archetypal quality than women have (as a whole group)... as these qualities are only named Masculine and Feminine as a concession... because they are the closest words in the English language to describe these qualities. But they are named for this because human beings understand these polarities through a gendered lens... but not because these qualities are actually gendered.

You're not understanding what groundedness and loftiness means in this context, if you believe that women are loftier than men. (First off, this isn't about male and female... it's about Masculine and Feminine, which supersede yet inform human gender) The Feminine is the physical and worldly. Grounded means that which is grounded within 3-D reality. It's more accepting of ordinariness and mortality. The Masculine is the spiritual and non-physical. It's the mind and all its abstractions. It's geared towards trying to overcome and become more super-human and immortal. Many inventions come out of the Masculine loftiness. Consider who is more grounded... a mother just living for the day and tending to daily tasks and doing ordinary things with her kids... or Elon Musk trying to take us to Mars or Peter Thiel dreaming of making himself immortal by putting his consciousness into AI? The reality is that men (as a group) are significantly loftier than women... which is sometimes good and sometimes bad... as is the case with all of these dichotomies. But it's important to look at these more as polarities rather than indications of what men and women are like. Otherwise, one will mix up gender norms with polarity... which will lead to a poor understanding.

My experience of social circles have been more like a consistent interaction because of existing in similar spaces as dozens of people. So, one would need to set up some kind of situation like that, where one is interacting socially with many people. It's easier to do in school, where that's the default. But one could also get involved in social activities as well, where they interact with many people. I recommend a meet-up group or something like that. Or take a class. Or go to church (if you'r religious). Basically, find a context where regular meetings and socializing is already normalized. The goal is to build a circle of 150 acquaintances and a few close friends. Most importantly, that's good for meeting basic human social needs (which is necessary anyway for psychological health). So, even if it didn't lead to a romantic relationship, it's important. But it also gives a context where one can make the acquaintance of potential partners. It's honestly the way that it's always been done. Our social contexts are a little threadbare now-a-days because of everything moving online. But it can still be done with a little legwork.

Below, I will post that which is considered archetypally Feminine and Masculine (respectively) to understand these polarities from a symbolic and energetic lens (which is very different from societal gender norms, which are often arbitrary... like women wearing pink, etc.) Keep in mind, this relates indirectly to human gender in general as the Masculine and Feminine are found interplaying in all living and non-living systems. But you will notice that men (as a whole group) have a slight lean towards the Masculine Principled qualities and that women (as a whole group) have a slight lean towards the Feminine Principled qualities. But keep in mind that these arcetypes/qualities were called Masculine and Feminine because of men and women's slight leans towards one energy or the other... but these qualities are only somewhat correlated to human gender expression. So, these polarities superseded yet inform human gender expressions. Here's the list (Feminine first/Masculine second) Being vs Doing Tangible vs Intangible Earthly vs Spiritual Physical vs Non-Physical Grounded vs Lofty Wisdom vs Truth Cycles vs Progressions Imperfection vs Perfection Contraction vs Expansion Emotions vs Thoughts Intuition vs Logic Chaos vs Order Organic vs Geometric The Unconscious Mind vs The Conscious Mind Relationship vs Singularity The Everthingness Facet of Infinity vs The Nothingness Facet of Infinity Sovereignty vs Leadership Internal Knowing vs External Knowledge Mystery vs Clarity Ordinariness vs Extraordinariness Mortality vs Immortality The Body vs The Mind Receptivity vs Radiation Receiving vs Giving Surrender vs Overcoming Inherent Worthiness vs Earning Collective vs Individual Connection vs Disconnection Intuitive Operation vs Algorithmic Operation Internal vs External The Fall and Winter vs The Spring and Summer The Moon vs The Sun The Roots vs The Branches/Fruit Limitation vs Unlimitedness

Exactly. I have had a few one night stands before too in my early 20s. And it was just so much less interesting because there's no feelings or emotional stimulation there. So, I can only imagine that women who get picked up by a pick-up artist are mostly looking for some brief fun but are less likely to consider them for longer term relationships. I just don't see why a woman would give a chance to a random guy if she already knows a bunch of guys from her social circle. So, I would imagine that the divide of "men are most interested in pick-up as theirmain dating stragegy" and "women are most interested in finding a guy from her social circle as their main dating strategy" probably creates a difficulty for men.

If you learn how to flirt and be playful with women you're interested in, that will help your chances quite a lot. There are plenty of men who have never approached a single strange woman in their entire lives and still have had relationships and hook-ups and things. You just have to interact in a relaxed casual way and engage in playful banter.

Gotcha! I thought it was interpretation number 4... but it was actually interpretation number 3. But at first, I read it as interpretation number 2... and for a split second, I was like "Oh no! They got to him!"

I was confused by what @Leo Gura said because I could interpret it two ways... or really four ways. "Soon enough Swedes will be fucking aliens." could be interpreted as... Soon enough Swedes will be having sex with immigrants. Soon enough Swedes will be immigrants in their own country because immigrants will replace them. Soon enough Swedes will be having sex with literal space aliens. Soon enough Swedes will become literal space aliens. I think he meant the fourth one... but I thought (for a second) he could have meant the second one too.

It's not so much that. In the past, relationships always came through my own social circle. Not strangers... but men that I knew over a longer period of time in a platonic way.

I don't deny that women have it very easy if the goal is to get sex and to have men interested. I'm not saying men and women have it the same in terms of level of ease of access to sex, at all. Women can get sex 100x easier than a guy can. It's honestly more difficult to avoid sex if you're a woman... because it comes hunting for you. And that's its own problem, but that's a totally different story. But I have seen plenty of men be successful in these ways that didn't have any kind of special qualities or development... with many being below average across many fields. I tend to think all of that development that a lot of guys do to learn how to talk to women is akin to Dumbo's magic feather. Dumbo believed he could only fly when holding the magic feather. But he had simply mis-correlated the feather with the flying. He could fly without the feather too... he just didn't know it and he doubted himself. But the feather helped him attribute his own success with flying to the feather instead of to himself... which assuaged his doubts. So, a lot of the ways that men develop themselves relative to meeting women is like Dumbo's magic feather in the sense that they didn't' really need to do that to meet a woman and have sex. But they didn't dare approach until they engaged in those means of developing themselves. In reality, they just put themselves out there and were willing to be social with women. That was the thing that changed. And any man who's willing to be social with women can get laid, even if he's quite awkward. So, I'm not saying it's easy. There's a head game about it. But I'm saying that, if some of the guys I've known have been able to make it happen, it can't be the most difficult thing in the world to pull off. That's what makes it seem like more of a limiting belief thing to my perceptions, because I've seen with my eyes really unattractive and social inept guys having girlfriends and getting laid. So, it seems pretty evident to me that the sense of scarcity men perceive relative to sex is exacerbated by certain mindsets and beliefs. The scarcity is not as extreme as they believe.

I actually like it when men don't approach. I prefer a dynamic that starts out platonic and gradually grows into something more intimate... as that's what's more enjoyable and meaningful to me. So, I don't like it when men approach... or when I approach. I hate it when things start on a romantic/sexual foot or when things are rushed to some outcome. It's like reading the end of the mystery novel first and spoiling the story. I get why men do that. But I need the slow-burn of romantic and sexual tension that builds up in platonic acquaintanceship over time to really open up to such a connection. So, I tend to prefer men who are a bit more reserved romantically and sexually who might be a bit nervous to escalate things. I have to get a sense that it's a bit challenging for him to escalate because of his concerns about traversing boundaries. So, I like it (at the outset of a relationship) when he has to be a bit brave to go in for a kiss and I can feel the slight shakiness. I suppose it also doubles as a way of sorting out guys who are always trying to escalate things sexually non-stop with everyone. But that's mostly just something that shows me that the physical intimacy is meaningful to him, which makes the encounter more meaningful to me. But all the things that I mentioned in my post above are a great way to help a man feel drawn in and more comfortable opening up... and even having stronger desires to escalate things.

I can understand why it feels more difficult from men's perspective. And certainly it's more difficult for men than for women. But I do suspect that a lot of the sense of difficulty and scarcity comes from some degree of projection... and not necessarily the reality of the situation itself with regard to actual numbers. So, because men have to approach and overcome insecurities to do so, this may give an illusion that exacerbates the feelings of scarcity... when there are probably more opportunities than men recognize.

That makes sense that that would be a challenge if there's far more men who are up for hook-ups than women. If it's 1 woman who's up for a hook-up for every 10 men looking for a hook-up, I could see that being a challenge.

Even if it's difficult, it's still a more beneficial strategy for nerdy guys. I've had a lot of nerdy guy friends in my time. And they all had girlfriends and had sex by their late teens. And I have to conclude that the primary difference between them and a lot of young nerdy guys today is because they had a warm social circle with both guys and girls in it. Like, the fact that all the nerdy guys I've been friends with haven't struggled as much in this way is because they were social (even if socially awkward)... and they had me and other women in their social circle. Plus, not having a warm social circle is a problem in MANY more ways than just a lack of sexual options. Lack of community is extremely unhealthy for people. And men tend to struggle with this a lot.

@Xonas Pitfall I see what you mean. One thing to take note of is that, if you ask men this question, they'll tell you what they fantasize about that evokes a sexual response because that is what a single man consciously values. But they won't (because mostly they can't) tell you what they really respond to when they fall in love with a woman and want to have a longterm relationship. The conscious agenda of a single man is one of casting the net far and wide... and it's quite impersonal. So, they're going to give you fairly shallow answers if you ask "What are men attracted to?" because men are attracted to fairly surface level things at the outset. But men don't fall in love with what they're attracted to. If you've ever watched porn, that's the level of depth with which they respond to things like tits and ass. It doesn't have a real deep emotional effect on the man, such that it works to bring him closer. What a man responds to in a deeper way is Feminine energy, which in practice means... A woman leaning back into her Feminine energy and giving him space to pursue and woo her A woman being in touch with her feelings without an agenda to manipulate A woman enjoying herself and having fun A woman being open and vulnerable and soft A woman listening and giving space for him to also be a bit vulnerable A woman caring for herself and pouring her energy into herself A woman allowing him to help and feel needed A woman appreciating what she enjoys about him or the things he does But none of these are a way to get a man to be attracted or fall in love. They are not tactics for getting a man, but a way of existing as a woman who wants to experience the joys of the Feminine. But they are also things that happen to create a space for a man that a man desperately longs for. Man-world can be cold and mean. So, men tend to really crave for the softness of the Feminine. So, "How to attract a man?" is not the most effective question to ask. To answer that, it's just to be a woman and to realize that you don't need to do anything at all. But it is in you operating without agenda and just doing what you please that will be magnetic. That's why I said to never try to attract a man. The right man will already be attracted without you trying to attract him. But to deepen the connection and to help him open his heart, just focus on treating yourself like your own beloved and sit comfortably in your Feminine energy... in touch with your feelings and receptive to enjoyment and delight.

I'm going to need to see some more convincing studies. The first one was a survey of 8th grade and 12th grade boys. And the last one you gave was just a statement. I need to know sources, sample sizes, and how the questions are asked. Most of the misogynistic men that I run across on the internet seem to be lonely nerdy guys who are bitter towards women. It's rare to run into an internet misogynist with social skills. But I would find it very hard to believe that men could be influenced by all this misogynistic internet propaganda and that large groups of women wouldn't be on high alert for it. You really don't think women are taking these things into consideration while dating? If I were dating and going on dating apps, I'd be scouring the app for tells about whether a guys is into Red Pill stuff before I ever agreed to meet up with him. Even some subtle tell would be enough to set me off. And I'm almost 100% sure that this describes a sizable percentage of the young female population... since most of them are VERY aware of how bad the misogyny issue has become in recent years.