Commodent

@Hellspeed Might have something to do with the fact that he's 10+ years younger. But yeah, some people tend to look sickly almost once they start losing weight. A woman I know was fat all the way up to her 50's and when she lost all the weight she looked like she was in her 30's almost. Makes me think that there is something fat people are doing right, like enjoying life maybe.

That's just terrible to your mental health.

For courses that involve learning a lot of material: Use an Excel spreadsheet (Google Sheets also works) to write down questions from the material in the curriculum. Write the answer next to each question, but change the font color to white so you can only see it by clicking on it or changing font color. Go through all the questions, and change cell color to red, yellow or green depending on how well you feel you answered the question. Rinse and repeat. Schedule study times, for example 9 to 13 and 17 to 21. I am personally more productive in the evening, so I tend to schedule for that. This one is obvious, but go somewhere where you can stay focused, like a study hall. Do not sacrifice sleep, it's incredibly important for digesting what you've learnt. Also take a siesta in the early afternoon if you'd like. It's a natural part of our circadian rythm and has a series of health benefits, while it will also make you ready for a new session.

@studentofthegame Yeah. Our brains are quite plastic ("moldable" that is), and are thus able to adapt to new situations and ways of living. However, as we get older our brains become less and less plastic, and thus we become less and less adaptable. Of course, our brains will always be somewhat plastic, but it will nevertheless be much harder for a 60 year old to learn a new language compared to a 20 year old. The same goes for life in general. It can be done, but it definitely becomes harder to adapt as you get older. The anxiety you're experiencing could very likely be due to the fact that you feel less able to handle new situations. If you were to challenge your routines, I would recommend you to do it gradually and never to the point where the anxiety gets overwhelming. Funny thing is, sufficient sleep enhances neuroplasticity and thus your ability to adapt to new situations, so maintain that habit for sure!

Self-actualization might make you realize that things you previously deemed important is really not that important at all. When I was younger I pretty much considered good grades and wealth the highest achievement in life, so I naturally worked my ass off to get good grades. But as I got older I realized there was more to life, like social interaction and life experiences. So grades and money felt kinda pointless in comparison, and it was much harder to motivate myself to do schoolwork. Because it wasn't really the most important thing. Right now I'm studying Computer Science, and while I like fiddling with computers it doesn't really feel fulfilling at all. I can foresee myself going through a career change pretty soon. I don't really know what yet, but I'm pondering it pretty often. I am trying a lot of different things at the moment, learning guitar, painting, writing a book, about to start a blog. I know I want to do something creative, at least. So yeah, self-actualization might have some unforeseen consequenses. I think it stems from some inner yearning for a better life, which is why I don't consider it a bad thing. Even though it can be quite inconvenient before or during the transition.

I think what you're experiencing is simply a natural consequense of getting older. When you are young you are to a much larger extent capable of ignoring your body's signals and do unhealthy things, like not getting enough sleep, without much consequense. I have also noticed that older people become much less adaptable and tend to be more dependent on structure and routine in order to function normally. If sufficient sleep and good routines helps you stay well-balanced, then that's maybe a sign you should keep doing it?

More developed countries tend to be more irreligious, take Sweden for example. So I can foresee religions going away, much like belief in spirits and black magic largely went away with religion.

Tell yourself you will be there a quarter before the appointment and schedule thereafter? A 15 min buffer is always nice anyway.

Read "The Tao of Fully Feeling" by Pete Walker. A lack of self-acceptance is usually caused by shame associated to past experiences.

@bejapuskas I think it's moreso a lack of awareness rather than honesty. You have done some things your whole life so you become blind to them. Just like a fish in water that doesn't know what water is. So these things would be hard to see no matter how honest you intend to be with yourself. You can painstakingly try to get a good picture of how you behave, unintentionally fooling yourself a lot in the process, or you could get input from others in order to drastically speed up the process. Both methods work, but the latter is a hundredfold more efficient. Our habitual patterns, some of them even causing a lot of harm, are usually invisible to us and glaringly obvious to others.

@Metody I think that's overly reductionistic. You could just as well say that every action is selfless.

ISTP I've found that on these kind of tests people answer more in accordance on how they would like to act, rather than how they actually act. So I would say if you've typed yourself without input from other people, the results are pretty useless.

ITT: People who have only read the title

Meditate with back support, either in a chair or lying down. Meditating in a sensory deprivation tank could also be a good idea. A friend of mine struggled with back problems until he started doing tai chi. It's also a form of meditation, so I would definitely recommend that in your case.

To stage yellow money and social acceptance is simply a matter of course, just like physical survival is to anyone who is above stage beige. Life conditions is an important driving factor for going up (or down) the spiral.

@Shadowraix "Politeness is the practical application of good manners or etiquette." Adhering to rules is a blue quality. It's important to distinguish between politeness and empathy (which is more of a green quality).

I would like to recommend "Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors" by Janina Fisher. It is packed with cutting-edge research and it proposes that it is not necessary to investigate and remember trauma in complete detail in order to heal, as this form of re-experiencing can actually serve to re-traumatize the person. It is better to kindly acknowledge what happened to you in a sort of "detached" way and do your best to stay grounded in the present through for example mindfulness. Kinda feeling what happened and then staying present and grounded at the same time. It's been a while since I read it, but the book goes into more detail if you'd like to know more.

Self-therapy can be just as effective, like inner child work.

@OrpheusNovum He's right though.

If you feel like sleeping 10 hrs then sleep 10 hrs. Getting enough sleep is incredibly important.

You don't have to stay with your if you don't like to. Families are very much like mini-cults, so it can indeed be hard to break out of. But you have no obligations to stay in the system. From what you write I think it would be wise to break contact, if you can manage. Your father seems to drag you down. Acceptance and forgiveness is not a virtue. They are feelings that might spontaneously arise once you've worked through your feelings of anger and hurt. Until then, do not force it. Blame them for what they did all you want, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's your psyche, so you're free to feel whatever you want. But act responsibly, particularly around children and other people on the lower end of a power dynamic. You might see intellectually how your parents became that way, but your feelings of blame are still there and should be given a voice if you want to heal fully. They are very valid emotions, because you were not treated fairly.

@Joseph Maynor That's common among trauma survivors.

Online chess can be very addicting, it's so easy to start a new blitz game and it's very easy to get preoccupied with your rating. As a general guideline I would restrict addictive behavior (which includes all non-productive online activity) only to times where you're together with other people.

Leo still seems severely disconnected from his emotional being like many others in here, and I think that's his main issue. He seems to downright disrespect certain emotions. He also seems to have (unacknowledged) contempt towards his audience and people in general. Funny thing is, many of the "breakthrough" revelations he has had about himself has been glaringly obvious to many of us for quite some time. But I have never actually seen him taking any of the feedback into consideration. Good thing he's starting to become more conscious, but it really shouldn't take dozens of 5-MeO-DMT trips to realize he's inauthentic. I suspect if he'd actually looked in to his past (as the key to understanding your emotions lies in the past) and done some emotional work instead of spiritual bypassing he wouldn't even need psychedelics to see it.

@Truth Addict What are you trying to say, exactly? "I might have murdered this person, but I shouldn't be guilty because I was destined to do that". Is that a valid reasoning in your point of view? It just seems so out of touch.