Joseph Maynor

@Markus After many years of battle (and I have the scars to prove it), I realize I don't want to be at war with my monkey-mind anymore. That just emboldens it I've found. And correct me if I'm wrong, but even the most enlightened yogi on this planet still has vestiges of monkey-mind lurking in their psyche. If you gotta live with it, shouldn't you try to make it the best possible roommate for yourself? Don't you wanna tame the little devil? If you can get it to lay down and take a nap that's good, but if you get it to kick-up positive rather than negative thoughts, that seems to be one better! Is that possible?

I need some feedback. I am going to try to use that personality assessment Leo had us do into a plan to improve my work life. Is this a worthwhile goal and plan for work self-development? Before I commit to this, I wanna see your thoughts. Are these goals sound or futile? Work Self-Improvement Hacks: (For my work -- Job) 1. Self-Efficacy -- Go from Low to High 2. Dutifulness -- Go from Low to High 3. Achievement Striving -- Go from Low to High 4. Activity Level -- Go from Low to High 5. Interpersonal Style -- Go from Competitive to Cooperative 6. Stress Management Style -- Go from Reactive to Resilient Do any of you folks see any problem with this kind of goal/plan for self-development for me? I don't wanna waste my time on something futile. If there's a futility with any of this, please let me know.

Yes. I am recovering from a similar situation. Really the last 6 months have been a turning point for me. I had my ego-death experience in March, and then I went kinda crazy for a while. Then my life sorta spiraled out of control due to many reasons. Then I hit rock bottom in early May. Now I am sober, rebuilding my business, and re-engaged with moving forward. But I hit the depths of depression too, so I can relate. Just remember that a sunny day always follows a series of cloudy days eventually. This too shall pass. And when that sun peeks over the horizon you're gonna be so grateful. And believe me, it does. I just experienced it myself.

@Nahm Three reasons: (1) I like the sense of helping people; the feeling of contribution. (2) Also, it's funny that when somebody asks a question, I know I have an answer, but the fact that I have to think about it means that it's under a pile of dust. It's really cool to be able to get the information on the tip of my tongue again. Kind of like reviewing your past a little bit everyday. You know it, but you don't really have it up front. Having this stuff up front should be greasing the gears of my personal development. It's like shaking up a salad dressing bottle -- everything gets tossed, re-harmonized, and re-integrated again after having been separated-out. That's a good feeling. It's re-invigorating. So, yeah, I think re-integrating with my ideas again (just like re-integrating with my past) after the ideas have been lying dormant for a while is putting me more on my edge: It's making me more top-notch, which is where I want to be. (3) And when I don't have an easy, go-to answer, that's a point of potential growth for me, so that's cool. I should force myself to write responses to more of the questions that are outside of my comfort-zone to bench-press my mind so to speak. Here's a good quote on point: “I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say.” ― Flannery O'Connor.

1. Gottlob Frege -- For teaching me some ideas about truth. 2. Ludwig Wittgenstein -- For teaching me some ideas about theory. 3. Ralph Waldo Emerson -- For teaching me some ideas about spirituality and personal development. 4. G.E. Moore -- For teaching me some ideas about knowledge. 5. Confucius -- For teaching me some ideas about routines and spirituality. 6. Muhammad -- For teaching me some ideas about God and our relationship to Him. 7. Will Durant -- For teaching me some ideas about thinking and writing. 8. Henri Bergson -- For teaching me some ideas about theory. 9. Thomas Nagel -- For teaching me some ideas about reality. 10. Lao Tzu -- For teaching me some ideas about paradox and spirituality. 11. Leo Gura -- For teaching me some ideas about Eastern Philosophy and personal development.

Watch all of Leo's psychedelics videos and live vicariously through them.

For me, I'd say 60% thinking and 40% sensing. I need to dial-down my thinking because I'm addicted to it. And I've noticed that the thoughts I do think are like 85% negative, so that's not a good thing. I was thinking today, why can't I think positive thoughts more if I'm going to be thinking thoughts, why are all my thoughts mostly negative! That's the thing with me. If my thoughts were positive it wouldn't be so bad, but most of my thinking is worrying, thinking of some person or event from the past that I'd rather not think about. So, I need to practice releasing my thoughts more and just sensing. Just being in emptiness in the present moment. It really makes me angry that my default thoughts are so negative though, and before my ego-death experience I would just stew in these negative thoughts all day long not realizing that I am creating my own inner-hell. No wonder I am programmed to be addicted to suffering! I wonder if my default thoughts will turn more positive as I go further in personal development.

Without having to use caffeine or other stimulant drugs.

I once had a teacher tell me that mathematics is more like a bush than a tree. You should read some Wittgenstein. He talks about mathematics being a bunch of independent theories with family resemblances rather than a single logical structure resting on a foundation of logic and set theory. This is like personal development. You gotta make little hacks where you can find them and get stuff wired-in where you can. As you change, so does the theory and practice for you. You shed skins like a snake as you get older, and stuff that you occupy your mind with will change as you change. Even the way you practice will change as you get older. Even your idea of relevant theory will change as you get older. I like the idea that personal development is like a logarithmic function like Leo talks about. If you look at a logarithmic function, the negative numbers have a very slow ascent to 1, which is the value at 0. After 0, the function starts to ascend very rapidly. Personal development is like that. You put in a lot of time learning the theory and getting hung-up on theoretical issues, which is necessary to get your practice wired-in, but you're not seeing many results. This is like being on the side with the negative numbers. But once you get the theory handled, and your focus becomes almost exclusively on practice, now you're at the 0 and the value of the function is 1. From this point on, the function starts to blast off as you get your practice hacks wired-in: Morning routine (including meditation), work routine, evening routine, overcoming addictions, optimizing schedule, diet, and working on my philosophy are my practice hacks. 7 in all. These practices done on a routine are gonna get me further on the positive side of the logarithmic function, and my results are gonna blast off! Right now, I'm right at the boot of the curve, like at 1 or 1.5 on the X axis. I'm positioned to get to 2. So I'm excited to be finally getting some results after all this time, after all this investment and ingraining I've done. You gotta pay your dues with this personal development stuff. Just like a jazz musician doesn't just pick up an instrument and start playing jazz. He's gotta woodshed and practice for years before he sounds great on the bandstand. But once he gets there, he sounds amazing and you see the smiles on everyone's face, including his own. What nobody sees is the work he put in to get there -- years of solitary practice with results few and far between.

Make sure you set yourself up for a way to make money. I know this is not what a lot of young people want to be focused on. But the last thing you wanna be is 40 and broke with no retirement and no real career. I didn't go to law school like I had planned, and in a way I'm glad I didn't, but in a way I wished I did. If you don't have some kind of professional skill, you are gonna make the rest of your life very difficult. I didn't care about that so much then, and now I wish I cared about it more. I was focused on working on my philosophy. But you gotta pay the bills and the older you get the more money you need. Don't pooh pooh this like I did at 21. You'll live to regret it.

@Prabhaker Nice! Thanks. Will do.

I already meditate and do concentration practice every day and my neurosis is still high. And I know the enlightenment stuff and try to be in emptiness, etc. My anxiety, anger, and depression are all high. I need to get those dialed-down. I already take a small dose of Celexa too. That seems to help, but too much of that can be counter-productive.

Self-efficacy is confidence in yourself that you can achieve intended results. Low self-efficacy is not believing that you can achieve intended results.

Absolutely. TV is an addiction and time sink. I quit watching TV 100% two years ago. And I'm glad I did. It also helped my weight because I would zone-out and eat a lot while watching, especially snacks and ice cream. Make sure if you do quit TV that you don't just increase your addiction to internet or smart phone though. That's like replacing one addiction with another.

I went through the same thing, and I think I can give you some advice here to help you move your ball forward and get this problem handled. When I got out of college and started my career I was super-into people pleasing. I even had one of my bosses make fun of me for this. Now, 10 years later, I'm almost the opposite, well at least I was a couple of months ago when I was going through my ego-death experience. I became a jerk -- went full opposite. Now, I think I'm in a nice median between the two. Here's a tip -- work on growing your self-esteem and assertiveness skills. Being a people pleaser is a non-sustainable strategy and so is being a jerk. The permanent solution is to be assertive. Here's a book that helped me through this problem, and I highly recommend it: "The Assertiveness Workbook" by Randy Patterson. And for increasing self-esteem, read: "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" by Nathaniel Brandan. Assertiveness is the only sustainable interpersonal strategy, and it's the middle-ground between passivity and control. I'd say assertiveness has given me the most gains interpersonally as a practical hack in personal development. And that Patterson book I recommended is excellent. There's exercises in that book that really get you results if you do them carefully. Get it. The Brandan book is excellent too. But if you're gonna only get one book to start, get the Patterson book. You gotta start taking action to root-out the people-pleasing strategy. It doesn't work as a long-term strategy.

Nutshell: Cognitive Style -- Pragmatic Organizational Style -- Balanced Energy Style -- Introverted Stress Management Style -- Reactive Interpersonal Style -- Competitive Openness Traits: Imagination -- Low Artistic Interests -- Average Emotionality -- Average Adventurousness -- Average Intellectual Interests -- High Liberalism -- Average Conscientiousness Traits: Self-Efficacy -- Low Orderliness -- High Dutifulness -- Low Achievement-striving -- Low Cautiousness -- High Extraversion Traits: Friendliness -- Low Gregariousness -- Low Assertiveness -- Average Activity Level -- Low Excitement Seeking -- Low Cheerfulness -- Low Neuroticism Traits: Anxiety -- High Anger -- High Depression -- High Self-Consciousness -- Average Inmoderation -- High Vulnerability -- High Agreeableness Traits: Trust -- Low Honesty -- Average Altruism -- Low Cooperation -- Average Modesty -- Low Sympathy -- Low // Positive Thinking: I got plenty of work to do in personal development. No shortage of work left for me! What an eye-opener.

I agree with this. I just got back from a trip to Las Vegas for a week, and I loved it. But one thing I noticed was the sensory overload. I had a hard time just being in emptiness there because there was so much stimulation from every corner: music, lights, food, smoke, people, etc. Contrast that with being in the forest where everything is so much more organic and peaceful. Don't get me wrong, I love Las Vegas, it's one of my favorite places to visit and I've traveled to many places around the World. I'm just drawing a comparison to your point: Environment does matter a lot. It's probably easier to do personal development work in more organic, wholesome places. Although you can practice loving your sins to death and have a nice contrast for what not to do, so maybe that's a good goose to a person from the opposite direction. Who knows what is best. I found it really hard to be centered in Las Vegas though. But it was good R&R time, and I love the town. I visit 3 to 4 times per year on average and the people there are generally cheerful, and I love how that rubs off on me. But I also go to the forest quite frequently too. Very often in fact. I love listening to the birds, seeing the trees, and listening to the wind rustle through the leaves and grass.

Can you reserve 1 hour per day to do personal development work on a routine schedule? Find a good time to do it like in the morning and do it at the same time everyday on a routine. Focus on cultivating the habit, the routine for now. You don't need to rush this personal development stuff. This is going to be a life-long journey for you. Just focus on getting the habit wired-into your life for now. A small dose at the same time, same place everyday is probably what is best for you. Baby step it.

@Dan Arnautu Thanks. I think I do have an addiction to emotional suffering. As odd and counterintuitive as that sounds. This goes back to all the suffering I experienced in childhood. Emotional suffering seems very normal and natural to me. Happiness seems like total change to me, and thus seems scary -- like untrodden, unfamiliar territory.

I'm 39 years old and I've been thinking about my life a lot this year because I'm gonna be turning 40 this year, kinda did a huge life-review -- and to my surprise I can't find anything in my life to regret. Everything I've done has led me to here, so how can I truly regret anything I've done? I followed my heart. Anyone have an opinion on regrets?

@Morrtiz Great posts everyone. This shows me I gotta a lot of work to do. I'm gonna get my pen and pad and start planning and strategizing how to work some of these hacks in. Thank you.

I think the results of personal development are the final goal. The theory and practice are just means to that end. When I achieve the following I will know: total financial and interpersonal independence, happiness, peace of mind, loving and accepting myself presently, my past, and my future, high physical and mental health, and gifting my completed work on philosophy to myself and to the world (I've been working on a book for 10 years).

"7 Habits of Highly Effective People" read by the author. Check on Audible "Essays" by Ralph Waldo Emerson "Walden" by Henry David Thoreau "The Story of Philosophy" by Will Durant "Moral Letters to Lucilius" by Seneca "The Psychology of Self Esteem" by Nathaniel Brandan "Psycho-Cybernetics" by Maxwell Maltz

@Principium Nexus it's hard for me to say for sure because I never did such an extensive life-review before. And my life hasn't been very happy in sum. Even today I am not very happy, but I can see a tiny light at the end of the tunnel. Like when you are driving in a long tunnel and you see that little white dot appear and your heart skips a beat. But I am more fulfilled today than ever before. And I know I'm on the right track for me now. My happiness will only increase from this point onward.

Personally I don't buy into all that theory myself. Some of the enlightenment theory resonates with me and some does not. There are better and worse paths for you otherwise doing life-purpose work would be pointless. You do wanna come up with a life plan and then execute on it. What's hard is you don't really know yourself fully or what causes happiness fully without some study and self-discovery. I don't buy into a lot of the philosophy that the Buddhists preach, only some. Truth may not always be crystal-clear, but you can orient your planning in better ways than others. And from a practical standpoint, there are better and worse ways to go about actualizing your goals when you do find them.