Joseph Maynor

@Brimstone Everything is born out of that blank canvas. Without silences music could not exist. Without whiteness the black marks of writing could not spin their tales.

This video is on point:

Is this normal?

The Upanishads. I read them a couple of months ago. There's a lot of fluff in there but also juicy bits of non-dual theory. It's amazing when you see it. You realize -- damn! These early peoples were smart! All the non-duality theory we have today is in there! You'll be shocked when you read some sections. It's like you hit some kind of time-loop or something. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Upanishads This guy is a good author, but I don't think this is complete, but you might get this one and read it. https://www.amazon.com/Upanishads-Classic-Indian-Spirituality/dp/1586380214 Here's what I read -- it was 4 volumes. I read all of the Upanishads, but there is a lot of fluff in there. The juicy bits are spaced out in the fluff like diamonds tossed into a sandbox. https://www.amazon.com/Upanishads-1-Swami-Nikhilananda/dp/0911206159/ref=sr_1_7?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1506807988&sr=1-7&keywords=upanishads

Make some voluminous notes that you can review on a daily/weekly basis. Don't forget to do the meditation, self-inquiry, responsible psychedelics, contemplation, as well as reviewing the theory. You need all of it. The element that a lot of people don't talk about is participation on this Forum. My growth has been expedited because I utilized this Forum to the max. You gotta collaborate with other people on the path. Also, when you are growing you'll appreciate the emotional support of others who are going through it too. The Ego needs to be bullied and cajoled into cannibalizing itself with carrots and sticks. It's a long-term re-negotiation process. But the Truth don't lie, so it becomes increasingly hard for the Ego to survive when your awareness increases beyond certain threshold points. Watch all of Leo's videos multiple times. Repetition is so important to learning. Over and over and over and over again. Finally it might stick. Then over and over and over and over again. This is where reviewing notes on a routine is helpful. You're not gonna be exposed to something once and learn it. The Ego will shoot that down fast. Remember -- the Ego is like a system that wants to survive. You're not gonna knock it off its guard by a half-hearted attempt to raise your awareness. You gotta grab the bull by the horns and engage this like a soldier on the battlefield. You gotta face-down the Ego. There is no easy way around this -- around the gritty and non-linear process of increasing awareness. Watch this video on point:

@Afonso I've seen different things in Leo's videos as my awareness has increased. It's like reading the same novel when you're 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years of age.

I'm moving away from whey, maybe without good cause. I'm currently using a brand called MRM Veggie Elite Performance Protein.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nyāya_Sūtras https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debates_in_ancient_India https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hindu_philosophy

You gotta have some reason to shake yer ya ya's out. You're just not in the right space for it to click. Instead of bringing the weather with you, you gotta find a way to tap into the vibe. I understand that there is not always a great vibe either. But you have to be in a certain kind of open, freeing, one with nature, no-boundaries mentality.

@Emerald Willpower is an illusion, a concept, a thought-story. If you let go of the small self, your life would clean up automatically. You do not control anything. The mind has made it all up. Once you fully let go and accept and maintain Awareness, your life will be nothing but constant peace and bliss. Whatever happens is whatever happens, and you're cool with it because you realize there is no you controlling anything. Paradoxically, you get "self-control" by letting go of your small self completely. Trust that you will be fine. You never had control in the first place! The only thing that exists is Awareness. The small self is a mental fiction that is picked up in Awareness, but has nothing to do with Awareness per se. The small self is a sensation in Awareness we might say. Free will is also a sensation in Awareness (as a thought). Willpower is similarly a sensation in Awareness (as a thought). Being = Awareness = You. Everything else is mind games.

I've been readings these for a couple weeks now. If you are interested in Indian Epistemology, this is probably the most interesting thing you could ever read. So, don't say I didn't sound the trumpet about this. It's on you now.

I'm a fan of the worksheet! The ones Leo made are all good. I did them all.

1. Is your experience of mind becoming more alone? Even when you are *cough* "with people"? I feel like I am all that exists. 2. Is your subjective intake of reality natural? Are you letting this moment speak for itself? Totally neutral, unless stressed into a less-conscious response. 3. Have you started to relate to people you knew differently? Yes. I’m more compassionate and less egotistical. 4. Have you stopped chasing actualized.org and Leo Gura for the "grand prize of the self-actualized, purposeful life"? Yes. The best thing I can do for myself is to let go. I do pretty good even without the false sense of control. 5. Are you feeling more alien to conventional society, how it works , and seen as a disease to the one who seeks to abide in truth? Not really, because that’s all conceptual. The only thing that exists is the moment. But yeah, you gotta watch your intake portals. Garbage in, garbage out. 6. Have you reached the point where " information put in spotlights " ---- (I refer to) books, movies , the news , teachings of spiritual leaders, pop culture and most importantly actualized.org.... are given the skeptical lens ... as that which has yet to stand the testing with (your) subjective experience of this moment ? I don’t need any more teachings. The only teaching is to stop trying to control. You do need to review materials daily to keep you keen on noticing the tricks of the mind though, so you do need theory work and review in enlightenment practice. The mind will fog up your clear lenses, so you gotta wipe the mist off everyday. You don't just become permanently enlightened. The mind is always there trying to interfere. This is why constant mindfulness is so important in enlightenment practice. 7. Has your heart started to burn with the desire of rising beyond the baseline human condition ... aka your reality of now ? Have you started to actively test the theory you study with direct experience aka NOW ? I am totally content in the moment. 8. Have your actions been purified with the fire of awareness such that if you set out to do something ...that it is YOU...wholeheartedly who is doing it ..... not some conceptual, emotional, physical product of your society that's been told to follow an authority ? Yes. I am letting go of control and seeing through the tricks of the mind. The most important teaching of enlightenment is that self-control is an illusion. You do have a certain indirect self-control through mindfulness and Awareness. The higher your Awareness, the better the dream gets for you. But never think you are part of the dream. You are Awareness of the dream. And Awareness alone is curative. Relevant video to watch:

Alright folks! Drumroll . . . . . . . . . . . !! BEING = Non-symbolic, un-centered, empty awareness of fleeting sensations in the moment. Non-symbolic -- a symbol is real but not the thing that it represents. Un-centered means that awareness doesn't have a point of perception. Empty means that awareness is not the content of awareness. Sensations include thoughts.

You wanna know what's even more fascinating? Awareness is more fundamental than logic or set theory or anything the mind conceives as fundamental. Logic doesn't exist but for awareness.

Reality = Being. Reality is real. Unreal seems to also apply like in the case of thought-stories.