Valach

Do you think you cannot love and care about someone and still see other people?

1, I would be very open to having and open realitinship with her, where I can be seeing other girls. She is not into it. 2, I do. I can see as remaining friends even when this is over. I actually didn§t want to sleep with her in the beginning so I can keep her as a friend. Ups, here I am.

I do. Its not just about getting a woman since I am at a point where I am able to get and keep decent girls in my life. The problem is that I am still to a degree overcoming my shyness and social anxiety ( I am ok in 1on1 scenario but I have trouble being myself around more people) and I want to solve it now since its holding me back carrer wise and I am not happy with this. Maybe I was a bit harsh in my description, but she is not some super manipulative crazy. She just likes me and does these things most girls would probably do in her position. I mean she is 22, not many people are developed at that age to be aware of these things anywawy ( i am 24 ). Yeah. I was thinking about this viewpoint a lot. I though that it would be best for her if I broke things off. On the other hand, I even asked her if she is waiting for me to end it and if that is what she wants. She told me she wanted that in the past since she have fallen for me, but no she is kinda at peace with how things are. She said multiple times she doesnt love me, but I have this feeling it just might be a lie she is telling me and especially herself to not get hurt. She doesnt want to acknowledge her feelings probably. Good insight. I am feeling the same. I just feel there is bigger purpose regarding dating for me. And I know I can learn so much about woman and myself if I keep doing what I have been doing before pandemic. If I get into a realitionship with her and it lasts, I will stagnate regarding my woman skills. And it won't probably alllow me to be fully myself around her since I am still little in scarcity. Will contamplate this. Thank you for advice

Hi there, I am turning to you guys with a need for an advice as I have no idead how I want to progress in my career at the moment. When I finished high school I enrolled into university to study Computer Science. I found studies quite hard, but I am not sure if I found the subject of my studies rather boring or I was just too unfocused to really thrive in it. I do recall, that at times when I really got into it I would find quite some pleasure in it. However I didnt really succeed since I hate to drop out after 1,5 years due to bad grades. After that I started working as software developer which I have been doing for 1,5 years now. However I have to point out that the job itself is not that great, pay wise and mainly that I didnt have much thing s to lears. My first year I spent only configurating the web app in their weird frame work which didn't extend my skills what so ever. 2 monts ago I finally after my pressure got switched to another project, which is a web app build in python + django, but I find it really hard to get into since we lack any documantation and senior developers ( + covid so I cant even get to office). Since I started doing pickup last year I realized that the problem in my life is that I just that have this life energy, life passion in my life. I miss out on something to take me out of the bed in the morning. I did sign up for university again today, but I am still unsure wheter I should enroll and study again. It would give me financial possibilities (to maybe be free to pursue other things) granted I would be able to finish it, however I am just still unsure I want to really pursue this and also if I would be able to actually make it work ( combining studies + part time work ). At the age of 24 I feel like I should really realize what I want to do with my life and to have direction of where I am heading with my life as well. However I never really tried anything besides IT stuff. My mother kinda led me this path since childhood, since she is a programmer as well and I never really worked any other field ( except part time jobs in highs school at restaurants etc.). Have any of you been in this situation? How did you decide? And what do u think I should do? Thank you in advance guys :}

Hi guys, I have a deep problem I want to share with you. Throught my high school and early 20's my social life was quite bad, especially regarding the girls. Because of that I am now, at the age of 24 very inexpirience with sex. I only had 3 hookups in my life (2 of them I was quite drunk) and that's it. No relationship and staff like that. I wanted to get better with girls and social life in general so I started doing pickup at the beginning of the last summer but only did it for like 3 monts because of corona. At that time I did get couple of make outs and some dates but not sex yet. The thing is that I am quite scared of pushing the interaction to the sex itself since I am so inexpirienced and even the youngest girls I meet (around 18) are probably better at it than I do. This manifest in feelings of worthlesness and inability around girls. I was feeling like maybe I shoudl just drop my standarts so I can get this thing fixed and go out with some girls I am not so attracted to so I can at least sleep with them or something. I am actually not sure what my question here is, I would just like to know some story from people here, who were in the same situation as me and managed to fix it and how they did it (obviously having more sex is gonna help but other than that?). Thanks in advance!

Also I have one quiteston regarding this topic. Before I begun having regural sex I was often woried about finish too quick, but now I have the oposite problem. My current girl is often frustrated that I am unable to finish more then once in hours of having sex. Have anyone of u experienced this and how have u solved this? :] thanks.

Just to update on this topic since I have been out of this forum for some time: Thanks everyone for the advice on here. I found some usefull tips in everyones reply :} Since January I hooked up with 3 girls and have a friends with benefits arrangement with one of them for 2 months now. They all complimented me on my skills and from their expression in the bed I dont think they lied. The girl I am seeing even said she never experienced such intesnse and regural orgasms with anyone and she's been with plenty of guys! What helped me a lot, was watching a Leo's series on sex, reading book Sex God Method and also suprisingly some technical tips I found on the internet and pornsites (not regural porn, but concrete tutorials on how to satisfy woman). Everyone time I have sex I look forward to better myself and learn something new. My plan is that, when I master ( at least sort of ) this regural sex I will look into tantric sex a lot of people mention here on forum, but I don't want to skip stages just yet. Thanks again, this forum and people in it are pure godl!

Hi there, Recently I have after longer pause started working on myslef in terms of both spirituality ( mostly meditation ) and social skills ( doing pickup ). What I have noticed in last week however is that I have this very sad and annoying feeling that I have missed out in life. I am 23 years old and I feel like the stage when you are young and go drink with your friend and do stupid shit is kinda over both because of my age and because of me doing spirituality and that does not align with this. Even when I try to remind myself that I the presence is all that matters, this uneasy feeling comes back to me. Has anyone ever experienced this? And how have you overcame this? Thanks is advance guys

Hi guys, Ever since highschool, I have always been quite introverted, socially anxious and bad with opposite sex. Starting end of first wawe of covid I've decided to do something about it and started putting myself out there. Meaning I found an experienced wingman and went out with him as much as possible ( on average 5 times a week). Eventhough we were out of lockdown at the time, the situation was not best for pickup since most of the bars and clubs were closed, so we pretty much had to rely on daygame. We did this from like June until September, when my country went into second lockdown. I did see some improvements, but I can also see I still have a lot of work in front of me. Since we are still in lockdown now and I assume we will be in couple of upcomming months I have decided to focus more on my innergame before I can jump into the field again. I have been doing mindfulness meditation, metta meditation each day for 30 minutes each and top of that I did some shadow work, which I kinda struggled with. I also scheduled an appointment with psychotherapist who's focus is self-esteem, relationships etc. I wanted to ask people on here, if you have any experience with psychotherapy helping you with social anxiety, introversion, low self confidence etc? Also guys who did pickup or just made progress on how they view themself, would you consider mindfulness and metta meditation as a good practice for my purpose atm? Thank you guys so much in advance for the answers.

I did. Bought it today. Didnt look into it too much yet but i think its worth it. Shoot me a pm if u are interested in more info.

I actually just bought it. I didnt look deep into it yet, since the structure of the program is week based and I dont want to skip it, but so far it looks rock solid man. Only issue now is, that I have no idea how I will go about completing the missions in lockdown

I kinda of get that getting validated from attractive girls will boost my confidence with other girls. I am not sure however if that will help with other people in general. You know, big part of the reason I started with pickup is to able to be myself around other people in general and to express myself fully. To not walk in this stiffled state all the time. Other thing with this approach is, what happens once I stop with approaching girls? When I get a girl friend or a wife? I would expect my confidence will go down quite a bit. Thanks for the tip. Unfortunatly I believe psychadelics are illegal in my country, so I am not really able to get them.

Thanks for the tip. I already have a decent size circle of friends, although I would like to add maybe some female friends and cooler people in general.

Hi, I do agree with you. Could you give us some tips how to get rid of such blocks or filters? Thanks in advance.

TBD

Hi, I've got a problem that has been holding me back in my life for a long time and that is I have terrible self-image when it comes to my teeth. They are not really good looking (quite yellowish, slightly crooked). My issue makes me not smile and have this weird, stale expresion in my face, which kinda creeps people out. Has anyone dealt with such an issue? How do I overcome this?

I got braces and that partly fixed the issue. I am planning onto going to dentist regarding whitening, but I am still super concious about my teeth and feels I just can't relax about this.

@Kalki Avatar What is your opinion on Julien's TenGame product?

Hi looking for czechs, especially Praguers, who would like to meet up, talk about self actualization and maybe support each other in the journey. Are there any of those?

Hi, I was wondering, why there is quite high suicide rates in countries that would be considered to be higher in spiral dynamics? For example scandinavia is quite known to have a high suicide rate? I though maybe, because people don't have to worry about their survival that much, they time to realize their own suffering? Anybody got any insights into this? Thanks

@outlandish Yes, Indeed scandinavian countries are not that high for developed countries. However I was comparing them to underdeveloped countries in africa, south america and so on. Also how is according to you scandinavia socialist? They have free market with strong welfare system.

Hi, Me and my friend are planning on doing a 2 day retreat in nature, however we have never done this, so I am asking you, guys, for some tips. We both practice meditation daily, but have never meditated for longer then an hour. What sort of meditation techniques would you suggest? Also what kind of food do you usually eat when on retreat. I imagine, that heavy food is probably not so good. Thanks in advace.

Hi, Recently my diet was not the best and I decided I want to get back on track. Should I clean my body first by fasting or something like that? If so what type of fasting would you, guys, suggest? Anyone with experience on getting your diet in shape would be much appreciated. Thanks.

Hi, I would be really glad if someone with experience could help me with this. Throughout the last year I noticed that big chunk of my (male) friends are very unhappy with their lives or straight up depressed. The problem is not a living condition for them as they are all upper middle class europeans, but I just can't figure out how to actually help them. Because what I found is that even though things like meditation, or just self developtment in general could help them very much, those people usually do not react well, when I introduce them these ideas, so they are kinda stuck in this cycle of feeling poorly but because they feel that way they don't resonate with anything higher on the spectrum and thus they keep being depressed. Has anyone of you either helped friend overcome this or anyone who used to be depressed and could me navigate how to actually help? Thanks in advance for your answers

Thank you so much for all the answers. I've written him that I am here for him and that I am willing to listen to him, but he responded with refusing help in a "You don't really care anyway" way. So I will leave it at my offer and see how things go.