MM1988

I have the exact same problem! I coudlnt even cry a single tear highly rational/logical person. I made good progress the last month. Try the sedona method to really allow yourself to feel your feelings, it takes a lot of practice and time to get this. Someday something just clicked for me. Now sometimes when I hear some music that gives me goosebumps or I see something beautiful I can sometimes let go and will get watery eyes and some tears out. It feels really good to be in touch with ones emotions.

Lets say your girlfriend broke up with you and its very hurtful (hypothetical, I'm single). And now she dates new people immediately. Would you rather avoid the places where you could see her and stay home, or is it better to go out anyway in fear of seeing her and ruining your night? Staying home seems like emotional avoidance but putting yourself in these situations seems like harming yourself over and over? Both don't sound good.

Great replys, I like it. Thanks

The following case is just typical for me. 1. I text with some girl and I think it's going great but when I start flirting (just being honest, if it fits. Give them a compliment or tell them I like them) or want them to meet me alone they seem to lose interrest in me immediately. 2. I may text them a couple more times but its not going anywhere 3. I decide its over and stop texting them. 4. They start texting me again, the more I ignore them the more interrested they seem to get. 5. I think "ookay then give it another shot" and start asking them out again. 6. They lose attraction instantly once again. Nothing ever happens. I swear to god its driving me NUTS. Its come to the point where Im paranoid about every text message I send, everything even slightly showing interrest seems to destroy attraction. One text to often and you are gone. I cant keep my cool about it. And how dare you if you want to go on a date "that means he likes me, eeew I dont want him anymore". I'm afraid of showing interrested, texting to often, I'm getting totally neurotic about it. I know I shouldnt overthink it but whenever I'm like "hey dont think so much" and then I'm in a I-dont-give-a-fuck mood I write someone again I know instantly I ruined it and beat myself up over it later. How the fuck do other guys naturally do this and do the right thing without effort and have success with it? Dating is a fucking MINEFIELD. One error and you are gone. For 10 fucking years im trying to figure out what my problem is and I'm not one bit further.

I had this exact thought about a week ago and made a thread about it. Also, the library of babel is not a database, its an algorithm. These pages are not stored anywhere they are generated on the fly.

Because it feels good. It generates positive emotions. Thats really all there is to it. Thats why people dont get addicted to psychedelics because a positive experience isnt guaranteed unlike heroin.

So according to bible myths god tests your faith by sending you trough hard times. What is really meant with this behind all the stories and metaphors? I mean if your life is shit after shit and you have just bad luck in a row, what difference does it make if you stay faithful and endure it or if you have emotional outbursts, go crazy, become atheist, kill yourself etc.? I think fundamentalists belive you should have faith to go into heaven but I think we can agree this is bullshit, so what is behind this story from a nondual perspective? Wasnt there a story in the bible where god made someones life a living hell just to test his faith and in the end killed him anyway? Whats the practical difference to the materialist paradigm? Soulless atoms bouncing around in a box or god shitting all over your life, shit happens anyway, sometimes a lot and for no reason.

@Serotoninluv I just doubt someone can feel pain (physical and psychological) his whole life without suffering. Suffering is a fascinating topic.

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Is it generally better to make a move on a girl or tell her you want to be more than friends? I had girls reject my moves in the past and when I told them they were surprised I felt that way. Do some women need to hear it?

I mean if you are already good with someone already but its not more than friends yet. Not on a night out or something.

@Shin I'm not thinking it on purpose. I try to dismiss these thoughts, not letting them get out of hand and thats all I can do in the end. But can you control what pops in your head all the time?

@Shin yeah of course it pops into my mind every day. Wanting to figure out whats wrong with me. I try to control these thoughts as good as possible but they just pop into my awareness all the time. I feel like I'm going mad, this shit is going on for years now. I just want something to snap in my brain finally I cant go on like this. Its just a prediction my brain calculates by analyzing the past in the background all the time. Its making me feel bad so I get my ass up and do something, and I do, I really really try to get better but its just an endless circle.

@Shin actually not, I'm quite optimistic everytime. On every new opportunity I wave away my past as a string of bad luck and think now its going to be different. But it always ends in a way where I dont make progress and suffer immensely. I mean I havent even kissed a women yet despite numerous tries, no sign of interrest from a girl ever yet. Its driving me mad. I often feel like a different species, like something essential is missing that attracts girls sexually to a guy.

@aurum I dont know. I hope. I'm at this hardcore for over 2 years and my main motivation is that I suck with girls. Now this situation once again went bad in really the worst way. Really the worst. This morning I thought about how things with this girl could have ended more hurtful and I couldnt come up with something. If showed me how this is how its going to turn out I would have said its a script from a cheesy romantic comedy. Its like this ridiculous movie stuff happens to me constantly. But always the bad stuff. Why cant something ridiculous like a girl approaching me on the street happen just once? Of course its ridiculous to expect that but all the bad ridiculous stuff happens constantly too. I'm really afraid that this is it. I'm afraid I'm throwing in the towel with this self help stuff after this and give in to my depression fully.

@RichardY thats what I meant!

@Leo Gura How is suffering self inflicted if you get a lung cancer diagnosis when you never smoked a cigarette. Sure, the suffering is not directly caused by the external but most peoples psychology and neuronal network will be in a state that causes a stream of bad emotions if this happens. And they are not responsible for how their brain developed during their childhood. You dont have to pity yourself like a victim but in some sense you are a victim. If you start feeling responsible for something like that you will just go crazy on top of it. Also, if you feel like a victim or not in that moment doesnt matter, you will suffer anyway. You brain will interpret what is happening to you as bad over and over again. And if you feel better for a momrnt your mind will tell you you are bullshitting yourself and pull you back. You get literally tortured by your own mind. This lung cancer examples applies to almost all "lesser" problems equally.

I feel like the stuff that happens to me keeps me from awakening. It's hard on my self esteem and I'm trying to fix my ego for a decade now because I know its necessary to go further in awakening. But for some reason unfortunate coincidences keep piling up and up and its just takes away all my energy. Sometimes I feel like my life is engineered perfectly to drive me slowly into suicide.

Here is something interresting from a christian website This is obviously false right? Because a lot of people kill themselves and suicides are on the rise.

It is the same in my opinion. Wether you spray a wall with a blue paint bucket or you hit the bucket on your head, both will result in perception change.

I noticed this is well but I dont know if its progress or if im becoming mentally unstable. I had an extreme weird lucid dream I couldnt escape some weeks ago that was so haunting that I got up and questioned if I was still dreaming for a good half an hour when I woke up and then I was afraid to go back to sleep.

Is it pre determined which humans will awaken? When I/god created my ego and all the interactions with other egos did he know that he will awaken as this ego before his physical death? Why did I/god create the illusion of the ego and then implemented a way out for some egos?

Pure speculation but since we cant know about the qualia of physical pain or psychological suffering of other people, what if life is designed in a way that everyone suffers equally? What if the rich businessman who is void inside suffers the same as the guy who is tortured to death by terrorist? People at least seem to be equally motivated by suffering.

@How to be wise yeah guess you are right lol

@Shin Its true, but I wasnt so bad on the first date. 1 girl rejected me after the first, 2 ghosted me after about 3 or 4 dates. One girl who had alcohol and drug problems invited me to sleep at her place about a week after the first date but nothing happend (I tried) so we just slept in the same bed and cuddled a little bit but after that it was over. That was my best experience yet.