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There is a myth that one needs to will-the-power throughout the goal one wants to achieve. That sounds similar to forcing oneself to do something they don't want to do (self-enslavement). But that would be insane, because nobody does anything they really don't want to do, unless forced to by other than self. So we have something we want to do, but there is something stopping us to do it. For example, I want to get out of the house and ride my bike, but the weather is cold and windy. It seems that the obstacle is the bad weather, but is it? Why not dress to suit the weather conditions, that should solve it. No? Then what is really stopping me? It's stepping out of a warm home into the cold windy weather in the first place! So all I need is the willpower to step out into the cold and start cycling. That is less than five minutes of willpower required to initiate the action I wanted to do anyway. So, by the time I am a few blocks away from home, wearing warm clothing, and enjoying the ride. And, to my surprise, no longer needing to utilize willpower. Most actions and behaviours, once initiated, start to run on their own purpose and desire.

If I were you I would just stay with my truth. That is, to stay with what I know is right for my integrity (whole and undivided). It is these situations where you may find yourself tested. In the movie Braveheart, William Wallace never surrendered his integrity and lived and stayed with his truth right to the end.

It can be daunting to realize that one is totally responsible for their own life (with or without God). There is nothing to fear about responsibility. It only means that you are response-able, regardless if your response is a poor one or not. Everybody makes poor responses now and again. So, it is easy to become fearful of making poor decisions, but everybody makes them, and nobody is perfect. Trying to view existence the same way as everybody else does (each a different version of existence) will throw you off balance. Just focus on what kind of existence you wish to live, that would bring you to your fulfill potential. The closer you get there the more you allow existence, outside of yourself, to be. What becomes important is living (response-able) to your own existence.

I have tattoos too. They are old and getting blurred. Each one represents a time in my life. They are reminders of how I was at that time, and how far I have come since then. Because they are part of my journey of self-actualization, I have no regret or feel any shame for what they represent. I isolated the above comments to show you what lessons a tattoo could remind me of if I were you. The tattoo would remind me to accept poor decisions, to be more patient, more aware of inner feelings, to not conform to trends just to fit in with others, accept how I look (tattoo and all), and accept that self-actualization does not mean self-perfection. And finally, that the way out is to accept, accept, accept. So, in a way, your tattoo is a great reminder to stay on track towards self-improvement. That is unique in itself, don't you think.

Truth, and the Love that loves me.

Needed a break from the wiring side of the project. so I decided to do some landscape modelling. Well, preparation really. Some of the river bank landscape is made from rocks. I discovered (on Internet) a good way to create imitation rock is to break-up cork to the sizes required. The cork I used was from those hand-held sanding blocks. I first cut them into strips and then break pieces off by use a pair of pliers. It took all day to break four sanding blocks. Then I used a sieve to separate the small crumbs from the bigger bits. These crumbs actually look like dirt gravel. The bigger bits, the rocks, after gluing them into place, I will paint them to look like the basalt rocks.

God is what is true and real. This does not include anything that is untrue and unreal. A lot of human behaviours are based on untrue and unreal stories. Which is like a mouth moving (the behaviour) without sound (the untrue and unreal stories). But as soon as there is truth to be said, the sound is heard. God's reality in the first case is just a mouth moving. Similarly, a rock dug out of the ground is, as it is, true and real. As soon as the rock is shaped and made into a brick, and seen as a brick, the rock is no longer true and real, and neither is the brick. So too are human/social constructs, such as justice. Ironically, this is even mentioned in the bible. Matthew 7:23. 22_Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ 23_Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you workers of lawlessness.’ 24_Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.

Wired the control panel instruments. Left: shows the set-up before connecting the wires. Right: Wiring completed.

@Progress What Is Justice And What Is God's Justice? Both are related to the people it governs. Both religion and law are used for some control (policing) over the society it serves. Otherwise self-will will run-riot. Justice is a word used in an attempt to validate the need for social control, and on a personal level, self-validation. God (Truth) has no needs / wants. Or else God would be looking for itself to fulfill itself. God needs no justice. Justice is a need by those who need validation.

Total self-acceptance. To have no fear of self. No fear of vulnerability or exposure, because you are aware of your truth and have accepted it.

@Preetom Since you asked. The best deed of kindness was the most difficult. To not interfere.

Use your meditation and reading towards self-inquiry.

Rem Koolhass is following his full potential. Follow Rem Koolhass in the same way by following your full potential.

You say you use reasoning to avoid negative emotions. Would you not also use reasoning to avoid positive emotions? You say you don't use reasoning to create positive emotions. Would you not also not use reasoning to create negative emotions?

I don't know because I am too happy to care.

Unconditional means there is no condition which influences, not even a new car. This is because the happiness (or love) solely comes from within you.

Acting out of fear.

The why? Is found in your ego-fear of being judged as invalid (wrong); and your ego-fear of not being able to convince others to see it your way (to be validated). The how? Remind yourself that you are okay with your decisions at the moment, regardless if they may change later on. For change is how we grow. Then remember a simple cliche: Live and let live. It is none of our business how others live their life, unless they ask us for help. Otherwise, let it be, regardless if its family, friends or whoever. Another why? If this is too hard to do, then there is still an ego-fear of losing, interest for your investment into, those that support you (an invested validity from family and friends). Another how? It's difficult to be aware of one's own truth, and others, and respond in a way that is not expected from the self-deceived. They may judge you as cold and unloving. But you know differently. This is usually what tough-love is about. Most tough-love responses are short and sweet, such as "No". As soon as it goes into a lengthy dialog it can easily become a need to be validated again. So, keep it simple.

Honest answer. However you can do it for yourself when you find and realize that you are loved. For 18 years you have been loved from within. You have been guided and supported by your conscience, the voice of Truth, within you. Next time you meditate, or go deeply introspective, get in contact with the love that loves you. Become sweetly aware of it in your heart. Then love it back. Love the love that loves you. Then you will know that you have never been, or will be, alone.

Why?

Psychology is still very shallow stuff. They still have not looked at the real causes of these emotions. As a result, they can only come up with band-aid solutions to overcoming them, such as releasing negative emotions to let it out. Gee, long time ago there was, and still is, such a thing as Primal (Scream) Therapy. Yet they will not talk about dealing with the common cause for all negative emotion. Fear. Fear causes a person to tense up. In that tension they are burning up, and waste, a lot of life giving energy. Their cardiovascular and immune systems are steadily being over stressed. It's not healthy, or conducive to longevity. If a tense person suffering from negative emotions could be truly honest with themselves, they will see what fear is governing their tension. Then, hopefully they will, act in faith that they will survive, confront their fears so as to overcome and dis-empower them. Most of the time, at first confrontation, fear dissipates. As I've mentioned in other posts, a good example of a misunderstanding in dealing with a negative emotion, is anger. Anger is caused by the fear that something is not going the way we want it. To deal with it is to confront the fear of things not going our way. And realize that it is okay if things don't go our way. That it is okay to feel embarrassed / humiliated / exposed / vulnerable. We will still be okay. Of course the ego will have us think differently to save its face. But that too can be faced and tamed. IMHO

I've done palliative care counselling for a few years. It's okay to be sad, its is a feeling we have for the other person who may be suffering, and we wish that they were not. It is, in this case, a loving expression of empathy. How to be with somebody who is dying? Love them with all your heart. Grief and loss is a natural process needed to be allowed to happen. It is also a loss for the grieved, it is losing a part of our own identity from the family member. Being with somebody who is dying scares a lot of people, for it reminds them of their own mortality. It makes them realize that life is indeed precious. Also, for those that actually do home palliative care, with the daily aid of palliative care nurses, are in a unique position. For it is more than likely they will be with the person when they die. This is a precious gift, given by the dying, on facing death. I understand about loneliness in regards to having no more family around you. I have been in that situation for the last 30 years. However, I've had a few close calls in my life where I was not sure if I will live to see the next day. It was quite confronting, especially being alone and nobody to get you to the hospital, or even making that phone call. Also, if I am to die, with another person present, I hope to give that person the gift of dying peacefully. Thanks for sharing this thread for it has given me a reminder of my past vocation and how I feel blessed to have done so.

Instead of trying to let go, first find out what you are hanging onto. Then let THAT go. Another more meaningful word for letting go is acceptance. Perhaps the serenity prayer will help. It sure helped me, once I learnt what it means. That is, the only thing I can change is me.

This reminds me of fearing what may surface into consciousness. If so, don't worry about it, it is only stuff you already know about. Or perhaps your body (and/or your ego) is not used to you being still for so long and is trying to get you stop. See what happens tomorrow, or whenever you meditate after today. It may not re-occur.

@Max_V Congratulations for your graduation. Ah, it's all over. What a relief that is. But wait, there is more! What am I going to do now? Perhaps your finale got washed over with uncertainty about the next long term commitment. That is how it was for me. All of a sudden, school was finished. My friends who I saw daily were about to be dispersed. New responsibilities were awaiting for me. A part of me wished I was back in school.