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Let no one deceive himself. If any of you thinks he is wise in this age, he should become a fool, so that he may become wise. - 1 Corinthians 3:18

We live in a world that pays and praises speed. Quantity and not quality has become the driving focus all around us. It is speed which has compromised quality and efficiency. It takes a bit of consciences effort to not conform to the desires of this world for speed. Conformity, in my opinion, is not conducive for becoming an authentic individual.

@KaleKing There could be many fears as to why a person would want to delay a certain action. In the normal understanding of procrastination the two prominent fears would be that of failure and success. Both fears are closely associated with the fears of judgement, ridicule and rejection. Here the ego is expecting disfavour if any responsive act was to be rejected. With the fear of failure the ego is more preoccupied with meeting other people’s expectations more than their own. They already believe that they might fail to meet these expectations from the onset of responsive action. On the contrary, people who mainly fear success believe that they will fail to maintain their expectations after winning the day. Furthermore, they fear that they might not be able to escape once taking on the responsibility for their success. This can be seen as fearing other people’s expectations – after achieving success. The main issue with procrastination is the delaying of something that a person is already aware of. Ignorance is no longer an escape route. The procrastinator sees barriers of fear in front of them – as if the future is full of possible humiliations. So what fears do you have in his regard? Write them down. And then face them by doing what you fear to do or expect. @Leo Gura Has made a good point about finding something juicy. In other words, find what it is you really love about your LP, or other LP. It is finding this (love) which will give you all the energy and hope of making it a reality in your life. Many years ago I was struggling to get higher marks than a Pass (50-55%) in sociology. No matter how long I studied I just couldn't get into it. Then one day I read about self-help groups and its role in sociology. Because I was already involved with such groups and saw the connection between it and sociology, I suddenly had a passion to know more about sociology. My subject scores went up to 75-90% What I am saying here is that you need to target what you love about your LP and use it to energize and immersed into your LP.

@Miguel Oliveira It seems you are at a point of truth which no longer matches your lifelong accumulations of beliefs about what success is all about. You sense that there is a need for a great change. The main change will be your definition of 'success'. You no longer want to be deceptive and a fake, but truthful and genuine. This is a 180 degree turn around, and most likely not to happen overnight. Besides if it did, you might die from shock (just kidding). But you would think that somebody gave you a brain transplant while you were asleep. I was in a similar situation, but in my case I had to change or soon die from addictions. In my first several months to a year of recovery was to question all my thoughts around my wants. So, whenever I wanted to do, or get, something I would think. "What is the opposite thing to do?" Then I would have a better chance to make the right decision for going the opposite way to where I was at. Another way, which I used for many years is to have an idea of where I wanted to go. What was that person, 180 degrees about face, like? I used the term 'a person in recovery'. So whenever I had doubt I would ask myself "What would a person in recovery do in this situation?" Usually (99%) my first thoughts would be the better choice, even if it meant that I had the face my fears or be responsible. The journey has taken me many years, but I would do it all over again, without question. It is the best thing I have ever done.

@d0ornokey You have agreed (belief) with the poster that does not believe. So now you are suffering a loss of a belief you once had. Perseverance leads to hope.

That warmth comes from gratitude. Gratitude comes from acceptance. If we have no gratitude then there is something(s) which we are not accepting. The only thing we do not accept is whatever is not going our way. That is, we have taken on board an unrealistic belief that things need to go our way before we feel okay. So, the idea is to accept life is the way it is. It's okay if things don't go our way. We will still be okay even if we no longer have things go our way. In this acceptance there is liberty from being angry, depressed, and anxious. Because of this liberty we become grateful. In that gratitude we make space and reason for expressing the love, we all naturally have, for a liberated life. When I am about to die, I hope to accept it fully, so I can go in gratitude, and love, for a life I had experienced.

@5driedgrams Once both partners understand the cycle of co-dependency, the words 'people pleasing' ought to be enough of a reminder. Naturally the ego will be squirming. In reality, going into a good, healthy, loving relationship is not about going to a wedding, but a funeral for the ego. Egos will separate the relationship, and oneness goes out the window (so to speak). Relation-ships is all about relating to each other., and hopefully it is about truth.

Reminds me of Fahrenheit 451.

One night I was walking down a hill to the local shop. I could see the pathway and the single light of the shop. Suddenly my usual self-perception vanished and I realized I was nothing but an organism. I felt like Frankenstein trying to walk towards a single light source. The light was no longer a shop, but just a beam of light which entered the eye, triggering a signal to the brain. This was one of many wake-up calls.

@Sheeba Codependency is a cycle of people pleasing to get what you want. When you get it, you eventually take it for granted, which upsets the other person. A disagreement evolves. To make peace again is to people please again. Both sides of the relationship needs to understand this cycle for both to deal with it. To deal with it is to stop people pleasing to gain something. Because if you don't get it you will be displeased. When the other person becomes to demanding, tell them that you are not 'people pleasing today'. Then the other will know that they took something for granted and today they need to be independent. Example, you may be upset if your meal is not as expected. Your partner realizes you have become codependent, and says "I am not people pleasing you today". So now you will have to become independent and cook your own meal. It is hearing the other saying "I am not people pleasing" which will remind you that you have taken something for granted. A better relationship is inter-dependency (part codependent and part independent). working together for inter-dependency.

@Ilyaa Good on you. When your ready, tell us how you are progressing.

You are almost scaring yourself to death. Scared of your own truth. Fear of being discovered, exposed and becoming vulnerable. Your ego is freaking out. You are not so scared of looking into other peoples eyes, but terrified of them looking into your own. Scared that they might see into your soul. The reason I say this is because I have felt the same as you. A had a mentor, many years ago. He once stated to me: "You would think that the minimal requirement for a human being is for them to truly know themself". I said, "sure, that makes sense". Then the mentor replied. "Well, you don't". I was crest fallen, yet I knew what he said was true. It was time for me to do the hardest task in my life, and that was to become honest with myself. To expose your own fears, I had to write a fearless moral inventory of myself. It was a list of resentments and their associated fears. I had to tell them all to my mentor. The result was liberating. No more secrets, no more guilt or shame. Even most of my fears became demythicized. As the years passed, continuing a daily appraisal of self-honesty, fears of others judging me have vanished. Cleaning house (soul) is an old yet proven method of liberating the fears that stop a person from becoming real, genuine, and authentic.

Acknowledge it, become aware of it's truth (loving or fearful), and if fearful, face it and deal with it until it turns to love.

@Revolutionary Think Sex in itself is for procreation. It is a requirement for making a mini-me, and keeping the race alive. Anything else is a story we create for ourselves, either gross and/or pleasurable. It's just a story based on our accumulated and present belief system.

Achieving enlightenment is in the opposite direction to where most are heading. That is why enlightenment is rare. The opposite is not a progression as such. It is not striving or following a path. it's not actually doing anything really. It requires one to not be controlled or influenced by their fearful ego. Once the ego is still and muted then nothing can get in the way of finding the truth about reality. In those findings one becomes less ignorant and more enlightened. So the question is, how do we still and mute the ego? By doing nothing. It is the doing which keeps the ego in play for validity. Doing something like following a path to enlightenment gives the ego plenty of things to claim, such as secret/special knowledge that actually leads to more suffering. Letting go of self and everything, and accepting everything, makes room for truth to present itself. It is the truth which eliminates ignorance (the opposite to enlightenment). So how do we let go and accept? By not interfering. By not doing something to get something. So we can see how this is the opposite direction to what everybody seems to be doing. There is one thing I wish to point out here. An enlightened person is not necessarily ignorant free, and therefore enlightened 24/7. It is similar to knowing you can do anything, but you cannot do everything. However, most people do not even think about enlightenment in the first place. They are more interested in gaining kudos for their ego.

I can relate to that very much. The reason why you don't want it is because you know that the praise you would get was not genuine, but paid for by lots of hard work. Much like showing a lot of love to someone just to get love back. And when you get it, deep down you know it is not unconditional. So the idea is to start focusing on being a genuine authentic you, be being honest with yourself, just as you are doing right now. They say that the truth hurts, but it really is loving, for it sets you free. It is the ego which hates its truth that feels hurtful. How to build your LP? Why not start building it on truth, just as you are already doing. Then your LP will be genuine and truly authentic.

@Serge I think your just becoming more aware of your own ego's need for validation. Perhaps you are just being more honest with yourself than you ever have been and it has disturbed you ideal self. A narcissist is more likely to believe they are important and expect admiration or due attention above all else/persons. They don't see themselves with a problem, and because of this they do not seek help. If anything, I think you are becoming more aware of self, and this is important for self-improvement.

@Alex Busch When I was at uni a fellow student and myself were asked by other students to give them a hand in their studies. So we arranged to meet one night. We tried to help the others to understand the subject matter, but with little improvement. Then my friend and I decided to do the opposite. We got the other students to read what they need to know and then each student had to teach us by using their own words (not re-reading from the book). This forced them to think about what they read and reapply it by using different words. After the uni exams, these students went from Pass to High Credits and Distinctions. Teaching the subject will improve your own understand of what it is you are learning.

@Ariel I always take notes, not so much for re-reading them again, but simply because it takes time to write my notes. While I am writing them I am pondering on what it is I find important, The time spent doing this helps to imprint this into my mind. Also, after a long while, it maybe beneficial to replay the video. Have you ever re-read a book, after a long break, and find that you are discovering things in that book you did not notice during your first read? If so, its because in the meantime you have learnt stuff and grown from it. So when you re-read the book you are reading it with a new mind and attitude.

Depends how you relate to what is around you with what is within you. Your authentic unconditional Self is the unconditional/unblemished truth within you. It's expression is love from your heart. If travelling and living in different places can help you to become more grateful and accepting in your life, then that love within you will be expressed more often. However, that openness of gratitude and acceptance can become you whenever, and wherever, you allow it to.

We have memory. We remember past negative emotions. The goal is to come to a point where you have accepted what caused the negative emotion in the first place. For instance, many people re-experience grief and loss of a loved one on a yearly basis. They remember how painful it was when it first experienced the loss. If they have accepted the loss, they naturally will still feel some sadness, but can accept that again and move on. Those who have not accepted their loss will relive their grief and loss until they do accept it. Even after acceptance, one may revisit their original grief, but it usually subsides when they remind themselves that they have accepted it, or made amends, or dealt with it in the past. I still remember / re-experience certain negative emotions, especially when I relate to them through another person. Like, someone does something which may trigger a past embarrassment for me. I may even go red in the face, but I no longer actually have the stories of embarrassment attached to them. They are simply re-visits of how I was. They remind me of how far removed I am from being such a fearful person in my earlier life. Or how I no longer actually create so many negative emotions for myself anymore. To answer your question: It may never stop arising, because you have memory, but you no longer need to dwell on them anymore. Re-accept it allows those emotions to arise and quickly fade away, knowing it was just a memory.

Good story. I liked the conclusion. I hope you don't mind me adding a variant. ...Having the experience of being ignorant makes being enlightened that much better. He no longer feels as naive but also has greater empathy for the humans-waiting-to-be-enlightened around him...

@Hardik jain Boredom is being stuck in the known, and it comes from the fear of the unknown. Face your fears of using your imagination for creating interest and curiosity in the things you have taken for granted. Exercise your imagination to find the truth about your own boredom. Since you won't go on a retreat, try sitting alone in the dark of night, in silence, from dusk to dawn. Find out what fears of the unknown arising in you. Become curious about your fears so you can examine them in and out.

@SFRL, on top of what @Arion said. There is the understanding of things based on knowledge plus experience. Neither just knowledge, or just experience, provides a level of understanding which can be used efficiently.

@Moreira Consider this, it may alleviate your depression about afterlife. For me, the most important experience while alive is the joy of love in my heart. It is the last thing I want to experience when I die. Anything else during, and after dying, has no value for me.