Max_V

@Gianna For sure. Nothing wrong with the occasional treat. But to have it set up that it is the norm for men to take care of women financially is bad for men and women both. Women get taken less seriously if they do prefer to be independent, and men have to work significantly harder as opposed to women just to have a partner.

@Gianna If you want my full opinion, read above, but just responding to what you said in a hyperbolic way: Do you want women to be treated like children? That mindset is bad for both men and women equally.

@somegirl Yep, we can only hope these things will be normal within our lifetimes. The only thing we have control over is projecting outwards what we believe in, even though the world might find us weird or cast us out. Going along with an unjust world is not a way I want to live.

@somegirl I respect that. I think differently though. I think those beliefs and customs we should try to change. I don't doubt there is inherent attraction that is built into things like a man being powerful, etc. Because that touches at the masculine and feminine roles that attract us to one another, but I don't think we should glorify all of them. It's my belief that men and women should be equally expected to take care of themselves. Just as I believe that women shouldn't be shamed for wanting to sleep around. With this situation specifically I think the person being more financially capable taking care of some things is not a problem. Just when it becomes an expectation it isn't healthy.

@somegirl I would disagree. If you had more money than a guy you were on a date with, and you'd end up paying for him and you both. Would you feel more or less attracted to him? Be honest.

@somegirl I know this is cliche, but please reverse the roles. If a girl made more than a guy, would it be attractive for her to pay for him? According to our culture, probably not. So just because culture dictates that men should be more powerful, the woman can just lay back and have most things taken care for her? I find that despicable.

Perhaps he is being stingy, I cannot say just from reading your posts alone, I'd have to really be there to get an authentic perspective. In any case, I would talk about this with him. Bringing stuff that is bothering you up to the surface is probably your best bet, not doings so will probably result in the relationship not lasting very long. But I do think there is a sort of respect that comes with 50/50. Even though he has more money than you, relying upon him to pay for everything is leechy. Just because you are (presumably) the submissive one in the relationship doesn't mean you should expect him to take care of you financially. That cultural custom should be discarded. There is nuance though, him taking care of things here and there because you have less financial capacity is fine, but when it turns into an expectation it becomes rotten.

@RMQualtrough lmao

I'M SOYING OUT

Waking up from a dream can be quite cruel. I once had a dream where I basically lived an entire life very fast. I had a girl with whom I was deeply in love, a job I was very happy with, all in all a fairy tale, then comes morning and I wake up, realizing that it was all a dream.

This sounds pretty naive to me, you don't think there are people that just love being evil and know it is wrong but still choose to do it?

Interesting, thank you guys.

Excuse me for my edgy emo comment, but god another example for how awful this world is we live in. Imagine someone wanting something so badly but being limited by genetic factors. I genuinely cannot comprehend why it is like this.

@Joel3102 That's very interesting. Could you shoot me a link or name of book,etc. that could get me more information?

Don't know if this is ironic or not, but if you're serious, what is your source on that?

@Danioover9000 Ah, I don't know. I thought he was speaking about the fact that he tried to kill himself at 16 when his favourite game closed down.

I understand what you mean by this, I think, but the I feel like you don't have the right context. Reckful was 16 at the time when he tried to kill himself over that video game. 10 years prior, his big brother committed suicide and since then he had to live with that abandonment and a family that was dealing with their own shit and so were not able to take care of him. To illustrate what his family was like, I'm pretty sure his dad was suicidal after his son killed himself and talked plainly about it with Reckful. Next to that while Reckful was about 30 his mom introduced the idea to him of a suicide pact where they would do it together. So to say his circumstances were awful is an understatement. To just say "oh nothing could've saved him, doing something like that signifies he's too fragile for life" I think that's not fair and also sounds very cold. Finally, the end result of if Reckful would've died if Dr.K provided the right treatement is not relevant when we simply look at the fact that I think it's an ethical duty he is obligated to in that situation. Of course it's not like he has the onus to provide help for everyone he sees suffering, but they were literaly in a pseudo doctor-patient relationship. I would expect more from a doctor than to not set clear boundaries and not be the responsible one. If you don't think it was a big factor in this instance, fine, but those rules exist because of the potential harm they can cause.

@mmKay I was there. It was very moving how the community came together

@Leo Gura Yes,I see your point. Some people take it too far by saying that Dr.K was the actual reason Reckful died. I’m more on the side of: Dr.k could’ve done a much better job providing the help Reckful needed. Like setting a boundary and helping him get long-term help. Also, breaking ethical guidelines sure didn’t help. I miss Reckful a lot.

@Carl-Richard I love Dan, lol

@Yarco Exactly

I would argue that would have been better, yes. To open someone's wounds without setting a long-term plan for healing them, that is not good. If they just talked as friends, fine. But it wasn't like that. Also, for someone that has BPD to not know what to expect, if someone will be there for you or not, if someone is your therapist or not, all this is not healthy, and makes for a mess.

@Leo Gura The biggest problem is blurry relationships. Reckful was in a very vulnerable state in these talks, especially because Dr.K didn't create a clear patient-doctor relationship or decided that they were simply friends. To talk about someone's childhood trauma in front of thousands of viewers, while saying it is not therapy, how can that ever be a smart thing to do? At one point during a moment where Reckful was sliding down further and further into depression, Dr.K announced to him that he was going to love him for two years, because he heard that this allegedly has the potential to cure someone's BPD. Reckful was overflowing with happiness and joy because most people had always abandoned him up to that point. Then the next session Dr.K took it back because he thought it over and in restrospect found he could fulfill that promise. For someone that is deeply fragile psychologically, in a state of being able to end it all any day, to be so unclear about being someone's friend or doctor, if you're going to be there or not, it's very irresponsible. He should've known better and tried to get him the help he needed.

that's totally relatable and understandable. I had that once when someone close to me read something I wrote from a private journal. But those feelings signify something. It signifies that you are not the 'real' you when you are around that friend. Therefore, I'd advice looking into that a bit. Being able to be your true self around the people close to you is important. And if they really like you for you, they will be happier as well.

Hi everyone, I want to ask a question about coffee. I thoroughly enjoy coffee; its taste, how it increases cognition, even how it helps with my depression. The only problem is that I’ve come to understand that I probably metabolize caffeine very slowly. This causes me anxiety and heart palpitations from even one cup. It can get so bad that I even experience chest pain and close-to panic attacks. So I wanted to ask if you guys have any idea if there is something that can help me metabolize caffeine faster, or perhaps have suggestions for an alternative that provides similar effects. All the best.