Max_V

@Martin123 This renonates a lot. I hope I can remember it. I don't mean that in a jokingly way, but honestly it feels like all the things I'm trying to do to take a step forward fall back into the depths of my mind and I return to numbing out all that that makes me feel inauthentic and disrespected. Might just be a big backlash from all that i've been going through, but man, it feels like there is this huge force that just wants to make everything that hurts numb

@mandyjw Same here, hahah. He really emenated that female energy

@Martin123 Ah, I see. I'm curious, how would you go about healing emotional trauma nowadays? I need all the help I can get in working through old patterns that are holding my back a lot in growing as a person. Old Max doesn't want to let go.

@Martin123 You are the Martin that posted an emotional healing guide type post on the forum back a long time ago, right? Don’t think I ever thanked you for that. That helped me a lot through difficult times. Thank you so much. Hope you’re doing good.

At this point I'm working a lot on overcoming the social anxiety I've had for about 10 years now (I'm 20 atm), creating a healthy and authentic self-image, and overall really for the first time in my life being happy with and loving the person that I am. I'm working at this on my own through my meditation practice, working through the book 'Psychocybernetics' and other material, journalling and questioning my fears and self-image. Next to that I'm also in therapy specifically focused on working through the same issues. Sadly, one of the most important components that I intuit I have to do to overcome my fears, is talking to people, specifically girls, which is very hard right now because of these Covid times. Whenever rules become looser again, and it is safe for all parties involved to socialize, I plan on really diving deep into socializing, dating and relationship. But right now while that still is very limited, I want to work as much as I can on my inner world and understanding of how this all works. One of the biggest questions that I've pondering for a while, is this issue of getting the needs met that you cannot do so yourself. This problem is a catch-22. Not being able to meet a need yourself causes neediness for it to be met. Neediness repells people, and so in turn makes them not want to need your meets. And so I am left with this struggle of how to break out of this cycle. Would love to discuss and hear your thoughts on this.

@Loving Radiance No, lol. That I can and will do right now

Thank you all for the replies on this thread. Whenever rules become looser, I am going to do my best to face the thing I fear most in my life. I will be referring back to this thread whenever I need to All the best

@kai0 Didn't see it was 7 days ago, but to be honest, the thread was quite uninsightful and didn't add anything positive to the discussions of this forum.

Beautiful music, thank you.

@Leo Gura Saw you hit the mark a couple of minutes ago, congratulations! Thank you for everything you do. Know that your help throughout the years while going from my teens to twenties has been absolutely priceless. I hope I can become the person your work inspires me to be. All the best

@Thestarguitarist14 Mushishi is my all time favourite. An absolute piece of art.

@Leilani I'm sorry to hear that. What you're going through sounds awful. If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to send me a dm. You are not a burden upon this world, you deserve to be here as much as anyone else.

I heard Sadhguru talk before that showering, and particularly coldshowering, has the same effect of a certain Kriya. It washes away pent up emotion and energy and brings the body and mind back to a quieter state. So, you intuited quite right, it does have certain consciousness-enhancing properties. Because water and light are the closest physical manifestations to pure consciousness, washing yourself with these must have positive effects on your being.

Do you like to listen to music, and if so, what genre is your favorite?

For as long as I can remember my mind has had the default state of finding comfort in sadness and tragedy. I’d like to cultivate a healthier relationship to melancholy and sadness and integrate that part of me. Any of you have tips or care to explore this with me? All the best, Max

@bejapuskas Mhh.. very coincidental post, as I’m about to go to an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss the potential benefits of medication in helping work through social anxiety and depression. Honestly, I’ve always been really closed off to them since I feel like there is no point in altering my state of consciousness if it doesn’t really fix anything. But I guess remaining open is a wise thing to do. Let’s see..

@Michal__ Any sources on meditation developing cognitive functioning? I always related it more so to aiding with focus, mindfulness, and growth in consciousness.

Yeah, that's accurate. If you're familiar with MBTI and Enneagram, I'm an INFJ and a 5w4. Always have been a very sensitive and empathetic person. @Espaim I relate a lot to type 4, but type 5 is my main fixation. I'm a 5 with a very strong 4 wing. In and of itself, it might not be bad. But the adjacent victim mindset and thinking that spawns from being overwhelmed by the sadness and helplessness of the world is what is unhealthy I'd say. Trying to become a strong and loving man in a world that feels so unsafe, leaves me with a lot of feelings of helplessness and inferiority. I have always felt a strong pull towards tragedy, loneliness, bleakness. The thought of other beings having to go through this alone is something that really shakes me to my core. Be it a person, animal, plant, anything. I have a lot of troubling bearing the fact that there is so much pain and tragedy in the world. I want to help, but feel powerless in the magnitude of all things that need it. There are a lot of things false and untrue in my thinking and perspective. Everyday I spend trying to look and observe it with honesty and power, but it doesn't come easy. I find it so weird that there is no inherent function in the Universe that allows one to see the full truth impromptu if there is desire for it. The RNG in being able to see through all the facades that are deployed in my cognition is very odd to me. But perhaps there is beauty in the gradual process of becoming more conscious. I fear being broken, weird, unaccepted, and not good as I am. I also fear happiness, as I know the other side so well that the uncertainty of when I fall back into helplessness is paralysing. I'm doing my best to work through it, I hope I can find the truth.

I like the way he talks. Also love the vibe of his teachings. He mentored Rupert Spira, right? I have heared Mr. Spira talk about him a couple of times when I went to his lectures.

@Eren Eeager Dicks out for Harambe

@Leo Gura I see. It is so apparent to me though, that certain stages on the spiral have very specific places where their energy and internal focus fixates. Do you negate that completely?

@Leo Gura Do you think there is overlap in the chakra system and SD? For example, Stage Yellow spirituality would be more manifested and centered in the third-eye, and Stage Turquoise spirituality moves towards crown, etc.

Good suggestions, y'all. Excited to see more. Thank you <3

Hi everyone, Last year around when I turned 20, I got diagnosed with being on the autism spectrum. I experience hardship because of it here and there, although I have a mild form of it, and would like to know if you happen to have suggestion about books, courses, youtube-channels, etc. that can help me become more knowledgeable on the subject, and learn how to adapt my life to better fit the inherent alterations of my brain and nervous system. All the best, Max

Very motivating and comforting video. Really helped me while in a rough spot. All the best to his soul, hopes he's resting in peace.