zazed

I loved this one, this is a good question. Thanks for the insight

Lovely insights, thank you for sharing This is a big trap indeed. If you think "That's not me, let me distance myself from it", you are in fact not referring to "me as self" but to thought stories. I find it helpful to have a curiosity about it, to examine the mind, to shed light upon its inner workings. Although it is still not "self" that does the understanding within this awareness, it is helpful for "growth" of the non-self. This is helpful because the illusion of non-self being self has grown out of control with most people. Basically, there is no reason to think anything about anything, everything just is. Buttons being pushed just is, being experiences it. It has no purpose, it requires no effort, there is no solution to it, nor is there a need for a solution.

So, the past few weeks have been special. I have had to do some stuff in my private life, that left me anxious in anticipation of it, and it was mentally quite disturbing. Sure, as far as emotions and thoughts go, i am the perceiver of them, but still they can be quite intense. I've found my non-duality work the past month had been going great. Felt really good, relaxed most of the time. But also had little ego thought. This was going well in my daily life with everything going as expected. Then come these challenges. Now usually i am quite confident of my skills, thinking myself a highly intelligent person, and often better than the rest of the world. I am not the most social person naturally, the years somehow turned this into "i'm smarter, so i'm also better than these social people", and often also, "i'm spiritual, so i'm deeper than these people.". Or being assertive/aggressive and standing up for myself, by psyching myself up and thinking i am strong. Enter, non duality, and acceptance, and seeing thought as irrelevant noise. Suddenly i find, i have very little ego thought. But these ego thoughts were my defenses it seems. Without any stories to tell myself, all that was left was fear. Now i know fear/anxiety is also caused by ego thought, in this case negative ego thought. But i didn't want to fight it with positive thoughts. So i found myself without any coping mechanisms. And it was quite troublesome to deal with. Mentally i was doing fine, but physically, the cold pressure of fear around my heart region was intense at times, and very uncomfortable. I tried accepting it, and perceiving it, but it did not readily vanish. In the end i managed to "survive it" by just perceiving and feeling this uncomfortable feeling non stop, until the actual events started(then i was gone suddenly). I also realize it was only uncomfortable because my mind thought of it as uncomfortable. Still, it's like sticking your hand into fire, how many here are able to do it realizing "it is only uncomfortable because my mind makes it so"? So long story. But the question basically is. How do i deal with life challenges when practicing non duality. How to deal with shit happening in a non dual way? How can one have confidence in himself, when there is no thought to talk ourselves up into confidence?

Attachment to blissful feelings discovered during meditation, and watching your video's. Whenever i feel unpleasant feelings, it is like this internal battle with self, to be able to be able to live in the Now again. Off-course the battle itself is the problem, and there must be some letting go somewhere. But the letting go itself becomes the battle, the battle of letting go. I have found no solution to this yet, sometimes there is just letting go, without effort, but i can never remember how i did that.

yes, 100% yes!!

You are right, this is the confusing part. Because we all are god/infinite/consciousnesses. You see, the TV screen that realizes its the TV screen, just keeps playing the movie. Why would my body and brain suddenly self-destruct and blow up? This monkey will never "reach" enlightenment, i was this consciousness since birth. This monkey is also not really a self, this amalgam of thoughts, ideas, sensations, just appears to be an aware entity. But if you really look, you will notice it is rather mechanical and incoherent not continuous. It's just a broken machine to be honest. You are fully correct. Which one shouldn't think anything during those moments. The worst thing you can do when you are fully being, is trying to "understand" it. Because what is trying to understand, is the person on the screen, and he will absolutely fail to correctly understand it. And by trying to understand, the selfing reemerges. Because I try to understand enlightenment, is going the opposite direction from it at that moment. Afterwards however the monkey can take his time, to try to make some sense of it. The monkey can do whatever he wants, it's not me anyway. Exactly!!!!!!!! Yes it is, everything on this physical plane is. But this monkeyism is a road sign towards enlightenment in part. Self-inquiry is a good tool, it allows you to deeply investigate the monkey's psyche. Through this, the TV-screen will see it is not the monkey, and the monkey isn't real. This monkey will die, it will cease to exist, it will never be god or infinite or consciousness When we say, "I am god" or "I am enlightened", we are also saying "I am not the monkey". Anything else would be ridiculous. @Scholar It seems like you are on the precipice of understanding, which is good. Indeed, all thoughts and ideas and concepts are unnecessary for enlightenment. Realizing it is all monkeyism, is an important step. But you must also realize, this is a forum of monkeys that enjoy talking about tv-screens. And that is quite alright

@Dawson Love how you condense all my words to a simple phrase

How can "being" make predictions? Well, being is just being, it takes no effort, you already are doing it. To be enlightened, means to just let go of all these idea's and thoughts, and if they are gone, the only thing left is being, which you already are. It's not conceptual, you just need to look to see this. What i was pointing out, is that the human thoughts can never bring consciousness. You think you are this @Scholar person, but you are as much @zazed as well. The only difference, is you don't see my thoughts, and if you would, you would wrongly identify as @zazed. Your predictions, my predictions, they have equal value to consciousness, because you are not @Scholar at all. You just think you are. But what you are is just being and awareness of mainly you. As long as you think you are @Scholar trying to find enlightenment, you will never find it. Because you are enlightenment that has mistakenly identified with @Scholar. You need to let go of @Scholar as an entity, and just become being itself, now. The self can never be enlightened, because it is an illusion that does not exist. Rupert Spira described it as follows. You are a TV screen upon which a movie of @Scholar and @zazed and @electroBeam and @Dingus is playing. You are none of these But you think you are scholar trying to understand how to become a TV screen. The person scholar in the movie can never become a tv screen, and the tv screen never was scholar to begin with. So you always were the TV screen, you can only ever be the tv screen. And the thoughts scholar has, are just projections on the same screen, because of this they are not you. If you are being Now, which is what enlightenment is, there are no thoughts. There is no future, there is no past. There is just perception of everything. Why would it even want to make a prediction, it already has everything it needs. you are right in part. It is a strong belief based on learning in one part, and watching Rupert Spira, Paul Hedderman, Mooji and many others. I have also done psychedelics twice, but can't get any DMT . But i also have been able to just sit and become being many times now. And it is a wonderful experience in which i cease to exist, together with all my worries and problems, together with the concept/idea of time.

Who is it again that is predicting things? Who is it again that has a stance or position? Who is it that has a perspective? The self/brain/mind can think, and through mind can understand concepts. It can make calculated predictions based on past experiences. But it doesn't mean anything. By making predictions you are living in the past and future as a separate self. You are going away from enlightenment. Consciousness doesn't make predictions. These predictions are irrelevant to it, just something it happens to perceive. Additionally, if consciousness were to identify with your predictions, it would self-identify as @Scholar. Which seems what is happening here. The predictions of @Scholar, of @zazed of @Dingus and @electroBeam all have equal and zero value for "your" consciousness. You are mistaken the dreamt for the dreamer. In this sense, your predictions from your self can be accurate. They can be a valuable tool in life, to do a job and earn an income. But they are not related to consciousness in a 1 on 1 manner, what you are, is what is perceiving them, not what is thinking them.

If you can do a true selfless act, you already are enlightened. Most people who do selfless acts are wonderful people. But they most often do the acts for their own ego. Being selfless and helping others is how some people define their sense of self. In this way it is the opposite from being enlightened. Defining ourselves as this nice person who helps others, will make us feel good and at peace, but that peace is an illusion that arises from boosting the ego. The ego thinks: "i am great, i am this selfless person helping others." It's like a child doing something to surprise his mum when she comes home. The end goal here is not the helping itself, but the child's imagined reward of happiness and joy when she comes home and is happy because of the child's actions. Be that as it may, helping people is often very rewarding. And it's an easier place to meditate from love, than from hate and strife. Everyone already is enlightened. But they mistakenly think they are this self, running around, doing things.

It is as @Leo Gura said, suffering is nothing more than your check engine light. To help you survive. In this way, suffering is caused directly by evolution. Physical suffering is obvious, fire burns, get your hand out of it. Social/emotional suffering teaches you how to behave in a group, increasing your chances of living long enough to spread your DNA. Everything that is effective in helping us survive, will happily be selected during millions of years of evolution. The end result is many neurotic, unhappy, human beings, that somehow are still able to exist together and create offspring. Evolution does not select for happiness at all. Evolution has only one single criteria: "does the organism survive long enough to allow its DNA to spread into the future". Everything that helps with this is an evolutionary benefit, and causes that "trait" to survive in the population. Everything that is a negative get's fewer chances to survive in the population. Evolution selects for anything that "works"... Worrying what other people think, must be beneficial for survival, because we all do it to some extent... Some mechanisms on how suffering works and begins from a scientific perspective. Because often enlightenment and scientific understanding are complementary. Remember, what is enlightened is not you as a self, so there is no contradiction between psychology and spirituality here.

I agree. Thinking back now on meditation i did earlier. It's like walking tip toed on your socks, cause you don't wanna wake anyone at night. Tho not entirely accurate. But it's a strange sensation, of not "touching" the mind, or not "waking" the mind up, while being fully conscious. The mind has every intention to spring up, and start to analyse that situation of being. It is a thoughtless awareness, i call it just being. You are fully correct. Words or thoughts don't exist at that point, how can you name it? I suppose it can be called pleasant, or being at peace. But even that doesn't describe what it is. The mind trying to understand it, to define it, is perhaps even poisonous to it. The best description is "being". All spiritual teaching can be condensed to that word. But it's not very helpful to someone who knows nothing about it @SOUL exactly, and we'll speak thousands of words more on these forums.

i saw no pic? Enjoy your work time

This is true. I myself can get very defensive of myself and my beliefs at time. But what the video and @Shin are talking about, is just being. If you are just being in the moment, there is nothing to think about, and no truth's to defend. When there is only perception, who exists to believe something? What Diamond is talking about, is not falling into the fallacy of "mental masturbation". This is also what Paul Hedderman talks about as the poison of spiritual books, and that spirituality can drive people insane. Mental masturbation is self-identifying with these concepts, thinking about them constantly, and in this way logically excusing yourself from real work. I am probably at times deluding myself : "I don't need meditation, i already know the theory". But if i don't need meditation anymore, i should be able to sit and just become being at any time, which incidentally IS meditation. And the fact is, it doesn't always work as i would like Another problem, all this incessant thinking about spirituality, is mental noise that is distracting me from the Now. These "positive" spiritual thoughts may make me feel "happy" and "wise", but they are an illusion and have no real value compared to true enlightenment. Getting stuck in this, is what she also warns about i suppose I noticed the same. Were i usually dreaded and hated having to wait for something/someone, or being bored in public transportation. Lately more and more i am often looking forward to the opportunity of silence, and just feel content in being there. It is at least helpful to have this paradigm, right? @Shin thanks for sharing, i enjoyed her views, and probably needed them.

Who is frustrated, where is this frustration within you, can you find it? I feel you, i started around your age, and it's hard to keep up with school and life. Watch some more video's about enlightenment. And try to learn more about its concepts. Without some knowledge, you are just sitting. With some teachings it becomes a great transformative process. The reason it went easy in the beginning, is because it was fresh after seeing Leo talk about it. He has many great talks, and some like his on meditation should be rewatched. You will find new nuances in Leo's teachings, i've watched some up to 4 times. Also, take your practice further than meditating. Every spare moment you have, try to think of nothing, and just be there. Meditation should become your default state of mind, when on the bus, cooking dinner, paying attention in class(listening and mindfulness are very compatible). Watch these, in this order for better comprehension. Mooji feels it, and explains it through the heart. Rupert knows it, and explains it most logically of all. Paul is so abstract, you need to know some things to even understand him, but i find him most helpful of all. They are essentially talking about the same things.

Yeah, what @Dingus said, its a mono oxidase inhibitor, so be careful. t's safe, but certain foods may cause shock and kill you, like salami and cheeses. This is because the mono oxidase enzymes that break down the psychedelic in the mix, are inhibited, this way the "potion" works. But it also disables your bodies protections against these foods, making them very poisonous to you. This is no joke, so read: https://erowid.org/chemicals/maois/maois_info2.shtml http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/expert-answers/maois/faq-20058035

During my meditation today, which lasted 40m there was something weird. I was seeing a story playing out, with people i never met, it was very bizarre. The story faded in and out, whenever i became aware of self again the story went for a few moments. I cannot remember it now , but i remember it like i remember a dream a few hours after waking up. I was aware of the dream, but not aware of me as myself during the mental story. My meditation session also felt like only 10minutes, i was surprised when my alarm went of. A few weeks ago 40m was a struggle Any thoughts, similar experiences, i probably just fell asleep?

A negative belief like, 'this is all unnecessary', or 'enlightenment is not real'. Is not the same as not believing. It is believing it cannot be so, this is very destructive to the journey. In this way not believing is better, and closer to having no self. Consciousness is just perceiving everything, thoughts included, it has no choice in what happens in this reality. My view is that this body and brain make perceived choices, in this seeming reality, but to consciousness that is of equal value as the choices your dog makes. But yeah, there is nothing to believe really. You do not need faith or belief to be present, you just need to be present. You don't even need to stop thinking.

At times i can also be more direct and internally shout "shut up you idiot, you know nothing". Because there is no need for beliefs, when just being present, and beliefs are just thoughts, they are not important anyway.

@Shin My trick is realizing i already experienced "i am not the mind". I can perceive these thoughts, so i must not be the thoughts. And that if i look deeply, i am just that which perceives. I supplement this trick, by realizing it also does not matter if it is a trick or not. And i really do not need to take anything the mind says for granted. The fact that i can do this, again affirms what i'm doing. Many spiritual teachers, often answer a question with a variation of "who is it that is doing/thinking ...". Self inquiry is a powerful tool. If shit really hits the fan, i watch Mooji, Paul, Rupert, ... to inspire my mind again, to continue.

None of the above. Put your awareness on the mind, intensely perceive what it is doing. Without judging, without it wanting to diminish. Just perceive it, put the burning light of your consciousness on it. It will diminish the thoughts in the end, but whatever you do, have no desire about your thoughts going away, don't battle yourself. It's a very fine line, almost like a trick, once you get it it is easier. Self inquiry may also help, if they are especially troubling you, ask yourself, who is thinking these thoughts? Where do they come from? Are they me?

@SOUL there is only consciousness, and it is everything. It has no preference, it has everything equally. I am this and i am non dual. still most of it hovers around this specific perspective. this action figure as Paul Hedderman call's it. Its not me, but it's something right? what would you say it is? and how would you advise the action figure to live, how does your action figure work? what does yours do?

If there is no self, there is no one is feel greed, need, fear, hate, aggression, desire. most morality issues stem from choosing self over others. But consciousness is just awareness, it cannot gain anything, it cannot lose anything, it doesn't exist in the past nor the future, it is only here now. consciousness is aware of everything, including everyone around you, it has no preference. If the body feels love, there is love everywhere within me. It doesn't mean anything, but I'm conscious that the body enjoys it very much!

@Shin Very nice, i think you are well on track, and i recognize some of this mind thinking. I think you are enlightened as long as you are aware of the thoughts. what is the hard part is keeping it up through some effort, which is in fact training the mind to not self identify all the time, and training it to stay in the present. The fact that this is even possible as a process, means you are aware, and thus consciousnesses. It doesn't mean you automatically walk around in 24/7 bliss, but it will in the end. Through longer and longer states of perfect mindfulness, the human mind gets used to it, in the end it will become a natural state. But the fact it's possible to work this, means enlightenment has already happened, because it takes awareness to be aware of your thoughts as a separate thing. which most of us can do quite easy. What do most people do, when they reach enlightenment, which everyone who has read about it reached instantly. They reach it, because by telling them to watch their thoughts, they are aware at that moment, watching the thoughts. Well most people expect all their worries to instantly vanish when reaching enlightenment, so they ignore the enormous significance of this event. They do not realize, that they can try to watch their thoughts 24/7. And if they do, after a lot of trying and failing, they can be enlightened 24/7. So they meditate perhaps 30m in the weekend, and go on with their normal life regardless, identifying with all its problems and letting self thoughts run free all day. This one tries to practice mindfulness all day, as much as it can, and the gaps where i completely self identify without any awareness are narrowing. my thoughts are dissipating, I rarely worry about past or future, but strangely I get these musings from further in the past. Everything is just experience, so if i really think about it as this person, i would say it's cleaning up my negative thought processes through lack of self-identifying all day. So memories are now just harmless musings of the past, instead of shames or regrets. And the same for ventures in the future, more and more just wondrous stories instead of fears and doubts. This is not necessary for me as consciousness, whatever happens, good or bad, i will be aware of it. I can not not be aware of it, it's what i am. But as a brain i suppose having this body in a more relaxed state might be a better experience for it to be aware of? If not, it will be healthy for the body at least, and more relaxing for me.

@Barna Thank you for the video, i enjoyed it