Total Loss Of Confidence, Advice Needed

[zazed]

So, the past few weeks have been special. I have had to do some stuff in my private life, that left me anxious in anticipation of it, and it was mentally quite disturbing. Sure, as far as emotions and thoughts go, i am the perceiver of them, but still they can be quite intense.

I've found my non-duality work the past month had been going great.
Felt really good, relaxed most of the time. But also had little ego thought. This was going well in my daily life with everything going as expected.

Then come these challenges. Now usually i am quite confident of my skills, thinking myself a highly intelligent person, and often better than the rest of the world.
I am not the most social person naturally, the years somehow turned this into "i'm smarter, so i'm also better than these social people", and often also, "i'm spiritual, so i'm deeper than these people.". Or being assertive/aggressive and standing up for myself, by psyching myself up and thinking i am strong.

Enter, non duality, and acceptance, and seeing thought as irrelevant noise.
Suddenly i find, i have very little ego thought. But these ego thoughts were my defenses it seems. Without any stories to tell myself, all that was left was fear.

Now i know fear/anxiety is also caused by ego thought, in this case negative ego thought. But i didn't want to fight it with positive thoughts. So i found myself without any coping mechanisms. And it was quite troublesome to deal with. Mentally i was doing fine, but physically, the cold pressure of fear around my heart region was intense at times, and very uncomfortable. I tried accepting it, and perceiving it, but it did not readily vanish. In the end i managed to "survive it" by just perceiving and feeling this uncomfortable feeling non stop, until the actual events started(then i was gone suddenly). I also realize it was only uncomfortable because my mind thought of it as uncomfortable. Still, it's like sticking your hand into fire, how many here are able to do it realizing "it is only uncomfortable because my mind makes it so"?

 

So long story. But the question basically is. How do i deal with life challenges when practicing non duality.
How to deal with shit happening in a non dual way? How can one have confidence in himself, when there is no thought to talk ourselves up into confidence?

[Colin]

Don't try it because I said so, try it because of the science.

https://bebrainfit.com/tapping-anxiety-benefits/