RichardY

Not stubborness, Envy. Might be some projection possibly. Stubborness would be more in line with pride and that's not it, if anything hubris. As you said you need space to breath. What you do, do it for your daughter. How well do you know the mother of your friend? If she's usally calm, maybe you can get some closure together if emotionally painful.

I don't think the focus should be on fault finding. If you feel guilt explore that feeling, don't try to suppress or ignore it, either through rationalising it or through other means. There's a price you pay for not feeling guilt. In my opinion your focus should be on what is best for your daughter. Build with what you have. I'm going to guess that the people who are attracted to you have needs. But like all needs there is a cost. Your husbands addiction to Methamphetamine I believe leads to a long term reduction of dopamine receptive cells in the brain, which in turn leads to an eventual decrease in motivation, requiring a constant dose to stay motivated for life. In contrast to say something like Heroin or Morphene(Morpheus; Greek God of dreams) that suppresses or suspends the conscious mind. There might be ways of dealing with motivation, but I think it would require a person to be straight with their needs. Reminds me of the Stephen King movie "Needful Things", King was also an addict. (Interesting that the word addict(addictus) means debt slave in Latin, heard that from listening to a psychology book on addiction "In the Realm of hungry ghosts"). An alternative to being straight with needs, would be to look for ways that the dopamine system could perhaps better balance itself out.

Hormones. Yeah and don't think the decision is in anyway final. Could always move back with your parents. The world can be really brutal sometimes, lots of things can really mess you up. But don't be afraid to ever ask for information from a variety of different people. I'm sorry to hear you are 17 though, maybe you can work through things better elsewhere at the moment. Plan out what you would like to do, and focus on the good.

You have a bad attitude! You have a good attitude! My attitude is...... Well so what... "People who are unconscious always create unconsciousness, and in this way they influence others; they can get them into an unconscious condition so that they will behave exactly according to their intention. That is the real essence of witchcraft. " Visions: Notes of the Seminar Given in 1930–1934, Vol. II (31 January 1934), pp. 1272–73. Carl Jung.

@Artimus Generally it's more feminin to be concerned for others a kind of, Win - Win, compensated for by exclusion(if you care for everyone, you care for no one). Usually the woman countlessly excuses a husband's/partner's infidelities and vices. A more masculin element is Win - Lose, compensated for by competition & cooperation. It maybe difficult, but try to come to terms with how different sexes think. Your former boyfriend probably has only one thing in mind at the moment. When he should be thinking about the bigger picture. I wouldn't imagine there would be much difference if he was on drugs, because in a way he is.

I think you probably need time away, to process and come to terms with what happend, to then be able to move on the best you can. Staying where you are is going to remind you of what happened, and is not helpful in itself. I think there are many insane people in the world, many who don't realise it. I don't think you are insane, just understandably neurotic(with reason). Personally I think living with your Aunt for a while maybe a good idea.

Press charges. Give him time to get off the alcohol & reflect, before he considers doing something again.

I think ownership is a better word than responsibility. Ownership is something you can deal with, unless it crushes you and you die. Responsibility, more like part of a chain.

Yes. Sleepwalking, hypnotism, talking in sleep & answering questions. No Ego is not necessarily a delusion, Nor is MAXIMUM EGO!!! MAXIMUS MAXIMUS MAXIMUS!!!!!

No, is all you have. Avoid ego depletion. Willpower suggests to me setting yourself up against some potential.

@theozzcause Paragraphs, use paragraphs!!! Being a nudist, might be one reason people stare.

Passive Aggressive, actual violence, addicted to Meth. Leave. When does that ever get better. If you feel you have to, leave or post a letter explaining why, but I wouldn't even do that. He split your lip. It's not like there is not forms of social support. If you have to leave the state. Last thing local authorities want is a homeless mother & child on the street. Looks really bad on society and local officials.

@lmfao What changes did you find with doing meditation? Personally I think it is possible to change your personality, although difficult. So a melancohlic personality? "The trick you see is not minding that it hurts." .......... (something I wrote on another thread, been thinking about this subject a bit.) The Ego or the "I" imo is the Base personality. That is the personality devoid of taste(aesthetics) or SuperEgo(morality/herd instinct/Light&Dark). In order for an overall clan to be stronger or more lethal, The Ego "I" is a fragmentation of mental processing. To give one component the I can be defined relative to others (ex INTP, Low Conscientiousness) or despite others ( ex ENTJ, High conscientiousness). There is also fragmentation expressed as the perception of time (neuroticism). The why because, a superorganism as a collective entity is better able to overcome competing organisms or clans. How? because it can.

The Ego or the "I" imo is the Base personality. That is the personality devoid of taste(aesthetics) or SuperEgo(morality/herd instinct/Light&Dark). In order for an overall clan to be stronger or more lethal, The Ego "I" is a fragmentation of mental processing. To give one component the I can be defined relative to others (ex INTP, Low Conscientiousness) or despite others ( ex ENTJ, High conscientiousness). There is also fragmentation expressed as the perception of time (neuroticism). The why because, a superorganism as a collective entity is better able to overcome competing organisms or clans. How? because it can.

To thine ownself be true. Adopt a Holistic approach, start a commonplace book instead of a diary or seperate notes.

Discretion Advised Don't flee from yourself. If you have a quality let it define you whatever it is......... (mentioned earlier in movie by club owner.)

@starsofclay I think of it more as a false dichtomny. Mission Impossible.

Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible - Audrey Hepburn

Sounds more routine, but with ritualistic elements (visualisation, meditation, music (depends)). Ritual would be like saying a morning prayer, performing a blood sacrifice, flashdance etc

There is nothing in the des(s)ert, and man needs nothing.

The language used in the thread is similar to another recent thread. In the back of my mind, I don't discount the possiblity of trolling, although proceed as if it is not, till now. Mostly out curiosity and potential puzzle solving, intellectual exploration. Don't feel though that you have to be dependent on someone, if they have something you feel you need... needful things. Wider practical problems and greater meaning can be covered in other threads. Don't be the person who stays with someone who insults and is violent(verbally and physically), because they have something you want.

@Artimus What option did you have? By not saying anything you contribute to evil and sickness in the world and for what reason, that is a chain cast to your soul. Denying that maybe worse than accepting it. You say sweetest, but what do you mean by that? What exactly can he hate about you, if he hates your honesty, you do not have a relationship.

@Artimus If he got away with rape, what's stopping him from doing it again, becoming addicted to brute force violent domination. If you'd said nothing, you would have regret and how much more guilt? What reason does he give for it being your fault? Why should you think less of yourself, what values are in Nathan that your self esteem should suffer?

@Artimus Too abstract? Is there anything you feel you could do to not feel guilty? From the last paragraph you're implying you hurt Nathan, when from what you said it was his brother. The criticism wrongly being on you instead of their own actions, how is blaming you making things better?