LRyan

@Arkandeus Ok, yes... I can see the use for it for necessary actions, it's just right now where I'm at, when I think of ego it's mostly a focus on what not to use the ego for. I see what you are saying.. I don't believe the ego is the point of anything but I can see a purpose for it in a human life, to interact with others but not from the selfish and false aspect we have given it...

@Arkandeus I also do not want to put my trust in my mind because I know it is the source of all suffering. That's what produces the thoughts that we believe in that have ruined our or tried to ruin our lives. Attempting to trust a "positive ability" of the mind and by the same token, not trusting the "negative ability" of the mind sounds like playing with fire or maybe for those who are truly aware and can fully stand back and absolutely "see". For the average person it sounds like a slippery slope. I don't think I can go there either. I have heard of the Law of One..I will check it out..thx!

I understand what you mean about the attention to thoughts...makes sense... They say we need to completely destroy the ego. What do you mean without the ego there is no point? Can you elaborate? What is it that people want through the ego? Are you speaking about possessions, a job...accomplishment?

You are outlining my experience so far since I have been looking into spirituality. Exactly. It's almost like an addictive thing to keep looking for something more, something with a stronger sense of pull for you to follow...the best teachings, the best "path"

@Prabhaker That is so amazing to me. To be able to experience their presence would be so amazingly spiritual in itself, nevermind having enlightnment come from that also!! I really like Mooji and listening to him really resonates with me so much. I was considering going to Portugal to the silent retreat being held in Zmar... I had the flights picked out and just had to make the decision but then I felt swayed by posts about running around the world trying to get enlightened by attending all of these things and how useless that is and that means that someone is trying too hard. I thought about it long and contemplated if that was what I was trying to do. I really feel inspired listening to him so I thought my interest was because I really want the inspiration...I'm not that delusional that I believe that a retreat will lead to an awakening. If it did, great if not, ok... But I still didn't book the trip. I'm on the fence. Mooji doesn't hold that many during the year but I am so interested in being a part of satsang.

I like it as well. I really like the videos. I wonder what people think about that he says that just being in his presence could bring about enlightenment...David Godman is great...his interview with Papaji was really good and very interesting.

@Dingus Mothers guilt for not being able to say no?? How does that hold up? No? All true what you say ...but ...the real problem in the storyline is fear. The ego fears it's extinction. If It's not needed then What's left...probably peace, just peace.! Hmm. I would like to have a day with no story. I have experienced it before.. many times but it doesn't last. There is a flaw.. and it's "me".

This is funny!!! But don't laugh too hard. I'm sure there will be an app like this!

@Dingus very good advice I believe?

if I bring up my "story" people pleaser is in the forefront and that is a huge part of why I have suffered because I can never put myself first, and I have an almost impossible time with setting boundaries. In my family, I am everything to everyone. I am the youngest in my family but I am the go to person. My kids are adults but somehow need me all the time. I can't figure out the story and why there is suffering in the story because it's just a story...it isn't real, it's not me, it's a role I play and if I want to find peace I know that I am a piece of the universe, perfect as I am and eternal. I do trust that everything is as it should be and I will examine things that I need to and keep moving forward and learning how to fully realize what I am. Pure consciousness disguised as an actor in a play. I fully believe this. The struggle I think is because The habits of the mind cannot immediately fall away. Not in my case. Maybe some people have sudden awakenings but I believe most will be a gradual process... thoughts??

"But now, how do you know that a shift of focus happened? Or how do you know that you were "sucked in" or "standing back"? You know because of the final kind of observing. It sees the other two kinds of observing (or the absence of them), but is itself unseen. At first it may seem like you're the one that sees it, but actually it's the one that sees you." I didn't think there was three kinds of observers. I don't understand if your consciousness is the observer but it is silent and so no thoughts come from it then if you are truly observing then you have no thought whatsoever, so that means the second you have a thought you are no longer just observing. No one can be without thought so how is anyone the observer then? I'm getting more confused...

I'm confused when I read the observation references because Eckhart speaks about noticing your thoughts and realizing that you are thinking something negative and then says as long as you notice, " oh, there goes another bad thought.." and he says to observe the thoughts without attaching any story to it and let it pass by. He doesn't say that the observer is still a false self, to me it might be the silent part of the observer but it seems like he is saying that is the idea?

This is such a good video. It's the perfect message for me right now, it's what I needed to see and hear so thanks very much!

@Loreena I feel for you and I understand. This too shall pass. Life is static, you will be able to be happy. Happiness is only one thought away. I agree with getting out in nature and taking a walk in a peaceful place. Be outside with the birds and trees and near water if you can then you can see how you fit in and try try to focus on the present moment...get out of your head and make inspirational cards with quotes that really resonate with you and place them around your home so that it is a reminder to you to change up your thinking. I have said the same thing to myself after going through something impossibly difficult. Looking at it from where I am now what I say to that statement is GOOD, you don't need to be the same, you need to be Peace and Love! Who wants to be the same... You are beautiful as you are!

I @Arkandeus Yes, I agree, I see what you are saying. I feel like I am in the background in the spaces around everything....the quiet part but it's impossible not to think a thought.....for long....except maybe meditation or when out in nature, for me. I hear a lot of positive things in my mind, thoughts just appear like, what a beautiful day, the tree is so beautiful, sometimes I hear "I'm so happy".....good and then some bad on a bad stretch. Yesterday while driving someone was "in my way", I was on edge and in a hurry and I heard myself say "that fucking cocksucker"....I KNOW...terrible thing to say...don't judge me....but I immediately said to myself...."now why would you say that, he did nothing wrong".... I really surprised myself because I haven't heard thoughts like that in quite awhile but It still must be in there waiting for a "bad day". I too believe we are all piece of the universe in physical and nonphysical form at the same time which is where the challenge is to get the physical part in line with the non physical. We can do it right? Sometimes I have doubt but then I come on here are read posts like Arkandeus and many many others and I am so inspired by everyone that by association I feel lucky and honoured and that's why I keep coming here....to absorb such wisdom for you all so thanks again for being my rocks!!~

Can we as the observer have any thought? That's what I am wondering. Does your intuition or source put the messages in words. That's where I'm confused....I don't know who is speaking to me all the time...

This is really great because I've been confused about something.....I feel like there is more than one ego...I feel the bad guy who will instantly judge or cry poor me and try to start the story again, then I hear another ego that says, "who is that talking....just nonsense again, don't go there". Then in the background there is silence so I have been thinking sometimes....ok so that's me....the good one who is noticing the bad ego trying to take me back to a world of hurt and suffering but then I know the second ego is just the watcher, the observer which is who we are supposed to be. But if it is my true essence would it be speaking to the first ego? Eckhart says to be the observer, which I am a lot of the time but the observer says things like, oh... look at that negative thought, that's interesting....well I'm not attatching to that one. So I'm confused if I can hear any messages from my consciousness or is it all ego speaking?? @Dodoster Thanks! I'm going to check this out!!

I'm in!

No I haven't but I'm curious if you want to share

I was very near death last July. The previous year had been a living hell for me, many factors, loss of job due to ptsd, bullying harassment, abuse from narcissistic spouse, marital split. One month after living on my own for the first time ever in my life at age 51, I felt that my life of pain was beyond comprehension to me and in a distraught state I consumed a lot of alcohol which let to a physical injury to my leg with irreversible nerve damage. This led to taking an OD of pills I had for a back injury. I had been texting all my family giving clues, talking about life insurance, my sister who was out of town told my daughter to go and check on me. My poor daughter had to find me slouched over unconscious and barely breathing. They were very close to not being able to revive me. I only had 5 breaths in one minute. Level 3 or something. I did come back but spent 2 days in a coma and 8 days in ICU. for some reason. I think my soul is so determined to find the peace that I have always asked for that it wouldn't let me go. I shouldn't have made it through but I did. As a mother, I will never live down the regret and guilt of what I did in a moment of mind terror because How will my sweet girl ever get that vision of me out of her head? It will be with her forever and I was the cause of it. I've hated myself for so long. Being so low that there is literally nothing left but death... when you are more afraid to live than to die, that's deep pain of a lifetime. somehow I got to the very bottom of my soul and I looked up to the sky and asked, what am I here for, .why.. I believe it is to find the peace I've so wanted and yearned for, forever. I have a second chance

@Dingus hey, thanks so very much for breaking things down for me as you have! You have been so helpful and your insights are really striking a chord in me and opening me up to a new level of observation of what is going on. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond like this my friend i have read everything fully and I am not so worried as I was before, I know if I keep the eyes and ears and mind open to what is happening I will find the peace or be able to open up to more peace. I will try to notice if I am perceiving something from the old pain thought patterns and give myself a check so I don't fall prey to the negative spiral that takes me down. I do see the point of having it spill out... it lets me know I am still holding on to the delusion of who and what I think I am or rather that I let myself "forget" what my true nature is. I will look at these past difficult days as a some speed bumps on the road. Maybe I am meant to slow down to realize that i still need to fully accept and surrender to what is happening and not try to fight difficult moments. That's what I can take away form all the comments I have received from all the great souls on here... helping each other like this... truly uplifting!

@Arkandeus thanks for word play, it will stick with me! @Christian You nailed it, I feel like I am in a downward spiral but nothing really bad has happened so why? I don't understand how a week ago I felt so clear and good and one day of many challenges and boom, I lose all the good I've been doing. My question to everyone is...do you REALLY think we have NO control?? How is that so? We do make choices every minute of the day. When you choose to meditate, are you not taking control of your spiritual health. If you choose not to meditate, are you not taking control to not meditate and not calming yourself down to feel better. Do you believe that we all came here with a plan that was already in place and now we are simply going through the motions until our body mind physically dies? Is there absolutely no control in anything? Maybe that is what I am stuck on. IF I have some control then I should be able to do things in a manner that will bring me peace...no?

I get the message loud and clear. I can see what is happening and "I" am still trying to control my self because I'm expecting a certain outcome and yes, trying to manipulate things. I guess I think that all I have to do is act perfectly in the play. That's the truth of the matter. I am no "closer" to enlightenment with all my reading and doing and meditating and positive thoughts and watching my thoughts. It's all for nothing, meaningless. Maybe I think that If only I could control my thoughts better then I will never allow a negative one in and I can be victorious in my huge effort to claim peace. What a joke. I feel like a joke, a bad prank that I pull on myself all the time. Problem is, I believe I can see what I'm not but I can't stop acting like what I am not. The actor is a very good one who doesn't want to give up her role because she is the star of her own movie. And it's true... somehow the mind still wins and I just fail over and over. Maybe the next failure will be the last. What the hell did society do to us and our families to set us so far off course that we have to basically kill ourselves to get back to where we should be. maybe this makes no sense. I don't even know anymore.

@Dingus Thank you for you point of view, I understand except what do you mean defeat is my companion? I can actually see the triggers coming and I also see myself getting on the locomotive to hell and it's like if the trigger isn't too bad I can stand back and look at it and not get sucked in but when it is dealing with my work, I have no control nothing, I go unconscious immediately and get swept away for hours then later I can look back and feel like a piece of garbage for allowing it. I might be judging myself harshly for not being able to stop it. Then the shame comes in and the idea that I can't control myself.

Have you known enlightenment? It seems you have a lot of inside info..so to speak! You have an insight that I cannot see or feel yet. I'm happy for you that you can know this stuff and live like this...