Zega

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  1. Posted · Edited by Zega

    So I made a post about two months ago saying I was going to Ecuador to do ayahuasca. This is what happened...

     

    Before I even left the states, two days prior I had a kidney stone. I've been working to break them down and they just started acting up for the first time in about 6 months; I hadn't had them before. So after taking all the necessary steps including an ayahuasca diet, I hopped on the plane and had to pee every hour. I have never been out of the states before and while I was meditating on the plane, I began to get emotional and even started crying a bit. I checked where we were on the gps and we had just left US air space. I feel like I was already connecting to the medicine. The trip down there was good until I landed in Quito. Once we landed I was feeling a bit dehydrated since it's hard to get a good amount of water on a plane, and we had to sit on the runway for what felt like an hour before we could taxi to our gate. I say it felt like an hour because my kidney was acting up and I was in pain; I wasn't keeping track. Once I got out of the plane, before I could even get to security, I couldn't walk. I was trying to ask for some kind of pain killer, but they really don't have much as far as that goes; they didn't even know what Motrin was. Luckily I had a 5 hour layover so I had time to get a double IV in an Ecuadorian airport. Long story short I made it to the retreat just fine.

     

    *The medicine*

    I brought a small journal to write down my experience. I won't go into deep detail since the shamans say the more you talk about it the less effective it is. Food for thought with future trips as well. I will share some things I wrote down though. The first ceremony was so profound. The shamans were amazing, one was a musician with a beautiful voice. We start by praying with tobacco and setting our intentions. Once the medicine was passed around the shamans began playing their Icaros. The taste of ayahuasca is like tart berries and a little earthy; I liked it.

    I had visuals as soon as the second Icaro started similar to what you would see on DMT. It was so beautiful and as it was happening I was going on an emotional roller coaster ride. I felt like I was in the presence of an elder that I had known for a long time but never got to meet in person. To me, this visual part was an introduction to healing: beauty and pain. While this was happening I could hear people throwing up (purging) around me, which just added to the message. This was different from any other trip I have had. This is more like connecting to a person- a spirit. We got along quite well. It's like I understood her. I know that sounds weird but it really is connecting to a spirit, having brief conversations, and being taken to places.

    I actually annoyed her at one point. I was over analyzing the things she was doing and eventually she stopped. It was like being totally sober for a few seconds, which was all I needed before saying, "Oh" and releasing control. This was powerful in that I realized this was something I've always done. A powerful tool, but one that frequently got out of hand unknowingly until then. Immediately after I realized what I was doing she resumed. It was like having someone rub your back, stop for a few seconds, and then resuming...not literally of course.

    Visions are different from visuals. Visuals are pretty and can be powerful, but visions take you somewhere: childhood, an operating table, the jungle, etc. After this first ceremony I asked her not to give me visuals again unless I needed them. I didn't. The real healing takes place unknowingly. Days after, the medicine stays with you doing its thing. They say it stays with you for life in a metaphysical way. The visions were pretty intense. I didn't purge until long after everyone else. I came to the conclusion (after talking to staff and the shamans) that Aya likes to stay with me longer than most people. A lot of people were full of energy and eating ceremonial fruit after the first ceremony. I could barley move let alone eat. I slept in the Maloka that night with several others.

     

    Journal entry after the first ceremony-

    "Purpose and wellness

    I don't even know where to begin. I feel like I've known mother Aya for years. She is love, wellness, and ultimate wisdom. I understand her. She guides but does not lead. One must dance with mother Aya to understand her. She is love, compassion, and strength. Sometimes she will give the answer, but one must learn to find the answer himself. She is powerful. Respect comes first. Love, gratitude, and understanding build upon a foundation of bravery. She says my purpose is to follow the Eagle and Condor (referring to the Eagle Condor prophecy) and wants me to live in Ecuador. I haven't decided if or when. I have thought about becoming a shaman in the past, but after last night I think this is my purpose. It combines my passions into one thing. Christine (the founder/shaman) said I would make a good one. I must heal before I may heal others. The road ahead will be a long one and difficult, as is the nature of healing. Healing is bravery itself; looking inward and wanting to make a deep change. I have much work ahead."

     

    Aya told me this first encounter was mostly identifying things and out next ceremony together would be the intense one. She was right.

     

    *San Pedro (Cactus of the Four Winds, Huachuma, Saint Peter’s Cactus)*

    Ayahuasca is likened to the presence of a grandmother where as San Pedro is compared to a grandfather. This ceremony was first thing in the morning, no food prior, just cactus juice. It didn't taste bad, again I liked it but not as much as ayahuasca, same goes for the overall experience. So this was kind of like LSD in some ways, visually speaking, if a fly whizzed by your head you could see a trail of it for a few seconds. It is stimulating and you get the urge to walk around. It opens you up on an emotional level so you can actualize your experience from the ayahuasca. The shaman would, one by one, have people going on to a rug sitting across from him with the sacred fire in between. I had some father issues come up; I realized I was upset with him for choosing to die from cancer after fighting it so hard. While it was my turn on the rug (which was a cougar pelt) the rain came down so hard he had to walk over to me to talk. The rain made our conversation private from everyone else, quite the experience. There were 4 tobacco sessions in the San Pedro ceremony total. It took the whole day and well into the night.

     

    After this ceremony the kidney pain came back.

     

    Water carries intentions so the water given to us was ceremonial. I talked to the shaman about this for the future, but that night I had to nurse a pain in the side. One of the volunteers made me a hot pack, and after a lot of water, aspirin, and walking it off, I fell asleep, finally, with that hot pack on my side.

    Did I mention that the people working here are amazing? So open, loving, and caring. Made a lot of friends there =]

     

    *The sweat lodge*

    This ceremony was my favorite and combined both medicines. It was two watered down doses of San Pedro and one dose of ayahuasca. Everyone enters the brick sweat lodge in their swim wear, enters and exits a certain way. The ceremony was representative of death and rebirth. The sweat lodge was shaped like a womb and at the end of the ceremony you are soaking wet and get wrapped in a blanket like a newborn. After you are 'born' there is a big meal and bonfire.

    I've never done a wet sauna and this was intense. Once the tobacco went around and the hot stones (glowing hot) were added, the doors (blankets) shut and the whole room went dark. The shamans would sing their icaros and douse the rocks with wet cedar. You start sweating intensely immediately. The power round was the 3rd round of this, after the San Pedro, and ayahuasca was given. I had no visions; it was pitch black. After this round I experienced true gratitude. I remember being on the floor, head to the mat, hands clasped together over my head saying "Thank you...thank you" until English got hard and "Gracias...gracias" became easier. ceremonial food was passed around after and then we moved on to the last round, which was much easier...for me anyway. Coming out into the cold, starlit, Ecuadorian night was truly a re-birthing experience. Newfound gratitude and love in my heart, I had a beautiful night with the rest of the guests. The healing that took place here was amazing. I saw transformations happen that were so profound it was like talking to all new people.

    The kidney pain stopped after that night. It would return once more after the next San Pedro ceremony and after that nothing up to the present.

     

    *The second ayahuasca ceremony*

    From my journal,

    "Last night was as intense as Aya had promised. Everyone was under a heavy healing energy that kicked our asses. I purged late like last time near the end of the ceremony. I ate fruit after the ceremony and walked back to the dorm. A final wave hit me alone and sent me on my most intense experience. I saw visions of family history heart disease and cancer risks. I'm going to do a heavy detox back home and really watch my health."

    After this ceremony I ate a bit and went back to my dorm. There were only a few people there so it worked out well that after I went to bed I had a huge wave hit me unexpectedly. I feel like that happened on purpose. I began to see heavy visions and realized that I had food in my stomach. Not good. She explained to me that in order for her to do work, I have to get my digestive system to stop doing its thing. I asked for the strength to crawl out of bed and out the door.

    How much you eat is NOT relative to how much you purge. I threw up so much and unlike any other time in my life. It felt like there was such an unimpeded path from stomach to mouth. After that I had to throw up out the other end.... Once that was all done and I was empty, the real healing began. I was taken onto an operating table, shown xrays of myself that don't exist in any kind of dimension we know, and was a little scared at first. I didn't fight though, I made it through without problems. That was so profound that I opted out of the optional extra ceremony. I knew deep down that I didn't need it.

     

    *Walk of Power*

    The last San Pedro ceremony was done with a short hike and the founder leading us. This was the walk of power and it was a beautiful day/night. Once again we ended late at night and went over deep issues that came up. I talked about my health and the shaman assured me that she could see in more ways than one that I was healthy. She recommended I fast if I want to detox. I'm currently one day into a water fast, my first fast ever.

    That night I had to drink a ton of water before I went to bed because the kidney pain was now hurting me when I peed. I think that meant that it was finally passing. Regardless I have not had an issue since.

    I know this isn't quite like a typical trip report, and that's because ayahuasca and San Pedro are a ceremony and not just a trip. They are also difficult to explain but I recommend everyone try the medicine at some point in their life.

     

    *The integration process*

    "You are the medicine" is what the shamans told us. One has to be strong to not let slip away all that was gained in these ceremonies. Once I was in El Salvador flying home, I could already feel a huge shift in energy. It's hard coming back to the states after something like that. One thing Christine said was that it is easy to be zen on a mountain top, but the real work is going back into society. So true. I've been dealing with backsliding, ego, and feelings of isolation since I left. This fast I am on has been helping so far, I already feel less of an attachment to my vices and gaining mental clarity. I am planning on going back to do work exchange there next year but I have a lot of personal work to do until then. I have a purpose visualized and a lot of self searching to do. I have been back for about a month or so now trying to put all this down in words so I appreciate you reading this if you made it this far :)

    I cant recommend Gaia Sagrada enough to anyone interested in doing this. My experience was probably more painful than most so don't let my kidney stuff scare you away.

  3. Posted

    I'll update this when I come back, I just want to have a sort of before/after post on this....

    Back in November I found this little retreat, https://gaiasagrada.com/ doing a search for places where I could do ayahuasca. There are 3 ceremonies, including 3 San Pedro (psychedelic cactus) ceremonies. I've never been out of the country (usa) before, and I feel like this is going to be a powerful experience. I've been preparing myself on the ayahuasca dieta; the last two weeks including no sex or masturbation. I've been following Leo since about 2016/2015, and done LSD, mushrooms up to 7g, and smoked DMT before. I know this is going to be earth shattering for me and unlike anything I've experienced. I'm overwhelmed with different emotions. Just two days ago I passed a kidney stone I was trying to dissolve since July of last year. I feel much better now and more energetic with that out of me. I only mention it because this is a healing retreat and my healing has already begun.

    My intentions for the ayahuasca are guidance. I plan on taking the life purpose course when I come back. I have three big passions: Music, teaching, and healing (I'm a massage therapist). I feel like I can make all three work for me but I haven't quite figured it out yet. Last month I just started working independently out of a chiropractic office. It's nice, and I don't feel like a wage slave these days, but I still feel like I'm figuring it out; like I'm lost. I'm 26 and I feel like there's so much potential that's unrefined in me; like I have wet clay but haven't decided what kind of vase I want to make. I'm hoping to be much more conscious when I come back. I'm going to stay on the dieta for two more weeks once I return to and reintegrate myself back into my normal life.

     

    I'm going to be journaling the whole time I'm there and I'll share any major insights here. Any questions about the retreat I would be happy to answer as well.

    Wish me luck, be back on the 20th
    <3

  4. Posted

    It sounds like there's several foundational things that you would do well to establish. Several of Leo's earlier videos are foundational practical topics. 

     

    I tell all my clients to come in once a month minimum for a massage. More if you have some physical problems that you want to rehabilitate. The release of oxytocin and positive touch is healing and has a number of other benefits as well. 

     

    If you like zen, Allen Watts would be a good listen, lots of videos on YouTube. Make sure you're getting enough sun and exercise as well. Qi Gong, Tai Chi, and pranayama are great as well. 

     

    If you really feel sick then you can go do an ayahuasca retreat. I am in April. 

    That can bring to light the things you've been suppressing that you may be unaware of. 

  7. Posted

    You can try this one

    https://www.sdtest.ru/en/result.php?res=8455

    You don't need to give your actual email if you don't want.

     

    it tells you what % of each color you are-

    mine said

    13%purple

    20%blue

    13%orange 

    6%green

    26%yellow

    20%turquoise 

    (0% for the ones not mentioned)

     

     

    no idea how accurate this is; I thought I would be a lot more green. I think the best way to know for sure where you are is to do more research on spiral dynamics, think of good examples of each color, and then decide for yourself where you fall. 

  9. Posted

    Massages are great, 

    once a month should be a minimum for everyone. For your pain, some people have a lot of luck with acupuncture and reflexology.

    Baths are also great. Try soaking in Epsom salt with a few drops of lavender oil. 

    Deep tissue massage combined with chiropractor visits can be a very powerful combination.

    Magnesium and jojoba oil are good for pain, and biofreeze is also really nice.

  10. Posted

    I remember hearing someone say (I think it was Sadhguru) that the more complex the meal is (meat for example) the harder the body has to work to break down and absorb the nutrients. Whereas something like a banana is very simple and the body expends less energy breaking it down and absorbing it. Like all things, I think that moderation is key here. Meat in your diet probably isn't going to block your enlightenment journey.

  11. Posted

    I just wanted to say that OneNote is an amazing program. The second I saw it in the live demo my mind was fluttering with possibilities. My journal entries, my career, my music ideas, animation skits, workout schedule, quotes, AAHHH!!! 
    This is going to help organize everything SO MUCH! Before I had to use combinations of notepad and MS word. The tabs are great, the blips you can add next to words, INTERNAL HYPERLINKS! So many possibilities. This is going to make life so much easier. I wish this video came out sooner.

    /endfanboygasm

  13. Posted · Edited by Zega

    I've never done anything like this before and I've never written a trip report, but I had the most beautiful experience and I'd like to share it here...

     

    I took 2g of thai cubensis mushrooms dry and in the late afternoon on an empty stomach. Before I ate them, I set my intentions and asked for a good experience. The taste I didn't mind at all; it reminded me of sunflower seeds. I sat on some pillows with my blanket spread out on the floor, incense burning, and began to meditate. I wasn't keeping track of the time for the entirety of this trip, but if I had to guess, I would say about 20 minutes went by before I started to feel...something. I just noticed that things were beginning to take effect and kept meditating. But soon this was almost impossible because I began to giggle. little by little I began to laugh more and more until the idea of being human and being alive became absurd and hilarious to me. I remember seeing faint rainbows on the inside of my eyelids. I then saw what I can only guess was my spirit guide. It was a man in some kind of native spiritual clothing, like what a shaman would wear. I never saw his face, and most of the time I was too giggly to even look up at him, I just remember seeing a white beard and a bright light blocking out his face. It reminded me of my late grandfather. He began to pull back the curtain of reality (that's the best I can describe it) and I began to laugh more, but then he stopped and waited for me to collect myself a bit. Once I was ready the trip hit me and I went...somewhere.

     

    I don't remember exactly what happened next, but I remember coming back and being completely unafraid of the whole experience, so I did what anyone would do in that situation and took off the rest of my clothes. I sat there wondering if I was going to be able to keep any food down and eventually got up and had a banana. Best banana I have ever had. I remember enjoying the sensation of having a mouthful of banana, and even just drinking water was something special. I had a weird hot and cold sensation for a while, and I remember coming back to my room and taking the blanket I had on the floor and folding it over myself while I lay there with my knees to my chest, laughing at the absurdity of being human and talking to myself the whole time. 

     

    I remember coming up with this analogy: the monkeys and the centipede. It was something along the line of all of us are just monkeys that are concerned with our monkey business and it seems like the most important thing in the world to our monkey selves. We sit on a tree in a massive jungle doing whatever; jobs, family, eating bananas nude... but we ignore a giant centipede marching through the jungle. He is life; long and flowing, without care or an agenda. He goes over bumps, but they just ripple down his body, and riding him is pure bliss. Mr. Centipede is so long that you cant see either end, and he's a big silly guy as well. The problem is that the monkeys either don't see him when they are wrapped up in their monkey business, or they try to go under him. The problem with that is that while Mr. Centipede is very silly and blissful, he is to be respected because he WILL trample you and he WILL hurt you because he doesn't stop for any single monkey. Some monkeys try and go under him again and again, swinging into a forest of marching legs on a vine over and over, and on the back swing is when those monkeys start to think that this is all there is to this whole, "life" thing.

     

    So I'm sitting there in pure bliss, finally understanding the meaning of what "bliss" actually means and having all sorts of insights on love, relationships, spirituality, and what it means to live. Lying there enjoying the colors I was seeing and feeling the energy of the room when purpose began to hit me. I began to realize things about myself: my groundings, my direction, my values, and my masculine/feminine balance of energy. I was in my true state, I felt, and said to myself that this is how I naturally am without the burden of my egoic clingings. I realized that this state was obtainable without psychedelics, and I realized that I didn't need my addictions; they don't help anyway. I'm a massage therapist, so I work with helping people heal, and I think I want to take it to a level of helping people obtain this bliss through healing and setting the foundation to do so. 

    Finally once I started to come down I set my blanket and pillow back on my bed and began to think about the whole experience. The end of the trip was actually a bit frustrating though. One minute I was sleepy and ready for bed, the next I was up taking a shower. Tired, energetic, tired, energetic, until I was finally able to sleep.

     

    I took a few things away from this. First was the monkey/centipede thing. The monkey is the ego, and the centipede is life. The meaning behind it is that in order to build a solid foundation, you have to ride the centipede, and later you realize that there's more than just Mr.Centipede out there; its a whole jungle, and a planet that it's on, and a universe that the planet is in, and so on. The other was sort of finding myself and what it was I wanted. It really opened me up spiritually and helped me just let go and enjoy the flowing bliss of life and all its beauty.  

    I'm definitely going to do mushrooms again, I want to do other psychedelics as well, and I feel more motivated to reach the highest state of consciousness I can than I ever have. It was beautiful...all of it.

  15. Posted

    Leo has made a few health videos in the past, but one of the most common things that's affected by a bad diet is the pineal gland calcifying. Not only is it key for spirituality, but it produces melatonin and if it calcifies you are basically fucked. 
    Floride is the main thing to avoid, and it's everywhere.  

    More on this here:  http://www.med-health.net/pineal-gland-calcification.html
    But a video raising awareness about this would be fantastic.

    Namaste 

  17. Posted

    "I guess I don't know how to be confident"


    Don't say that. You don't want to put yourself down in the early stages of getting to know her. 9 times out of 10 she wont mind if you're nervous, they kind of expect that. But when you start putting yourself down like that, nothing good can come afterward unless you are smooth AF and can recover from that like a boss.

    Trial and error, my friend. Take it as a learning experience and do better next time. Good luck <3