dorg

"Total disinterest" could be phrased as "total allowance or acceptance", or even "surrender". Maybe no negative thoughts, but that fact that there is depression shows that there is 'an attitude' (still) in place.

Not knowing is a good sign

If caring for others or elderly parents is seen as an obligation, then one is not very far along the path. Caring can be a great way to further one's understanding.

I just asked some questions. So you are saying that everything happens in the mind? Even things/events that are apparently outside the mind? Is there an inside and outside of mind or is this all in mind?

And where did the thought about where your head is come from? A belief?

What about thoughts in the form of images?

Instead of focusing on the experience, focus on what information each is giving you; ie, that you are essentially not having the experience but witnessing it.

It is your own angry thoughts that are making you angry, nothing else. Watch these thoughts, ie become more aware of them - notice the attitude that they come from.

When I first started this I was amazed at how much forcing or manipulation was going on. IOW how much the mind was pushing me around, how much it 'told' me what I had to, or needed to, do - and I believed it. Now there is not so much forcing. In fact there is an increased sensitivity to force (or manipulation) in general. I now realise that forcing myself is not the way to go; that the 'way to go' is a natural inclination 'in some direction' - and observing what happens. (And this is much more pleasant than forcing ).

@Ryan_047 sooner or later you see that the bad times help you appreciate the good times, then, after enough experience and with growing awareness, you appreciate the bad times too because you naturally contemplate and self investigate more during a bad time and this often leads to a realization - which, as this cycle repeats, leads to more and better good time. In due course this cycling reduces significantly in magnitude as you more and more appreciate all facets of life.

You do or do not do anything for love. Early on in life you may do this for someone else's love. Later you may get disillusioned with this and tend to give up on it, or do give up on it. And later, you may see that all love is self generated. Still later, you may see that the love that you witness is your own love reflected back to you. -- Being in the disillusioned phase for long enough, it may look like there is no love (I knew this well). But this is because you are moving from looking for love to generating, extending, or being love. And you find this love by either generating it yourself, or by finding something small that you love and nurturing/extending/expanding the love from that, or by being the love that you are - whichever appeals to you. (Whatever appeals is always love, either a cry for love, or an expression of love.)

It is the fact that it is a fantasy that makes it fun to participate. You create your own part in it. You laugh at your own self imagination, your own courage, your own love, your own self will. This laughter is not one of derision or belittling, it is one of total openness (to the moment of self involvement) - you know you are not really involved and that makes it so amazing - you cannot fail. You are on the cutting edge of the fantasy, live it to the full. What else are you going to do? Mope around? Ok create that.

If you think/believe you are a victim, then you have low self esteem. Low self esteem is being a victim of your own thinking.

You are getting more subtle too . Initially you have to be very vigilant in order to spot the pulls; then, as you move into higher consciousness more often, you 'see' the ego thought system more often and so find it easier to not get pulled back in. IOW, in due course, you get more attuned to the splitting of your perception into me and other as it happens. Eventually you do not get pulled back at all; it becomes a conscious choice to go back in - IOW, In order to go back in you just think you are and there you are - it is understood that the whole thing is only happening in thought/imagination. (But nevertheless very 'real' when in it). Not sure what your 2nd sentence means. Going more deeply into the now is moving more deeply into higher consciousness. As you move deeper you become aware that all you can see or perceive is thought/image. Not sure what you mean by "conscious impulses." I take it to mean an impulse to become (more) conscious. Such an impulse is higher consciousness 'showing itself' to ego. The ego ignores this for as long as it can, then starts the path to making itself more conscious; however the ego does not and cannot become more conscious. You are not the ego, you only think you are. The ego thought system is a split mind.

@Alexo45 you will not be leaving behind anything that you will regret. You now can choose either to be mindful (aware) or remain in the world of the ego mind/thought. This is actually the only conscious choice that can be made, any other choice would only be made by ego and that would result in you staying in the ego mind of judgement and fear/anxiety. Being aware/mindful involves being in the moment as much as you can, and notice what 'pulls you out', or tries to. Whatever it appears to be that is pulling you, it is the ego, that insists - for it's own self survival (your own imagined-self survival) - that you stay as you think you are, rather than move to a higher consciousness. You have a form of control in/as the higher consciousness in that you are in effect 'controlling' thought/emotion by 'holding on' to the higher consciousness. With best wishes,

"How To Live Life Without Any Thoughts." You can either be mindful (aware) or lost/immersed in the world (of thought). There is no other alternative.

There are happenings when they happen. Then there are thoughts about happenings. Thoughts about happenings happen when they happen. The content of thought, whether thought to be happening or not, do not actually happen, it is only thought or believed to happen (a belief being a thought that is thought to be true). However the content definitely seems to be happening - iow, is definitely thought/believed to be happening. Distinguish between what is happening and what is only thought to happen.

Do you foresee everything that is going to happen? If not, then there are bound to be unexpected events, aren't there? And so, if this is accepted, then there is no need to either accept or not accept what happens as it happens or is heard about as it, without doubt, is when it is - ie either the happening or the hearing. Any 'response' to this event will be just another happening with no one in actual control - at most only the happening of the thought of being in or out of control.

You give it it's freedom. Freedom to be or do what it wants, eg, to get lost, to get stolen, to get fat, to break, to not work, to not do what you want, to trigger your attachment, to not be in control, etc.

Well spotted and expressed @lucas_darby . Could it be that you are intending to love... to be loving to yourself, everyone, everything... Love could be called "vague", or "easy to lose sight of" as it does not 'keep', or 'hang around' unless you are living it, giving it, extending it, or keeping it alive, living, palpable - in other words, making it manifest.

@Spence94 , do what you find enjoyable, and build on that. What is most enjoyable is authentic love - for oneself, everyone, everything. But you will not be starting here. You start by giving yourself love/understanding in all situations or as much as you possibly can, so much so that you are (in due course) overflowing with it. So much so that you start giving it away and it gets bigger; eventually you start seeing it reflected back in your environment; you start making a life living on and in authentic love. Just try it for a spell. And the spell will 'catch' and as you 'keep at it', it will transform your life. But, at least initially, you must keep at it, ie, giving it, as love does not 'keep' if it is not given. With best wishes for a lovely life,

Be aware that this is only your current mindset, nothing more. If you wish to stay with that, then a bit of mind management is in order. IOW, you have decided to carry on and do physics/math at Uni. That is your decision, so you disregard all thoughts of other alternatives until the course is completed. You need to be ruthless with this. Once completed, then you could take a 'mind numbing' job which gives you time to contemplate and also undertake meditation and 'spiritual' study outside work hours. Alternatively you could join some organisation that will feed and house you whilst pursuing 'understanding'. Best wishes,

Reality is only what happens this moment. Imagination then takes over and imagines it is the experience of someone (yourself) located somewhere. What you are calling imagination is only that of an imagined person imagined to be somewhere.

As you go further down the path of enlightenment you progressively cannot force yourself to do anything, It either happens or it does not. Fears also diminish (as long as you are not forcing any actions).

When I was a youngster I recall being afraid when seeing blood from a tiny nick in my hand. Much later I had surgery to remove a cancerous kidney; I was very afraid at the thought of this. Then at a still later date when I required another significant surgery I noticed that I was hardly fearful at all. I noticed that after each 'fearful event' that I had realised something worthwhile - in fact to such an extent that I am now grateful for these events for teaching me that I am essentially not my body - that I cannot essentially be defined nor located. The severe diminishment of fear means that it is known that there is essentially nothing to fear - that everything that happens is in my own best interest. In appreciation,