h inandout

I understand your outrage. Weasles like him are skilled at digging into the brains of others by addressing people's unmet/repressed social needs. Needs for PERMISSION, ACCEPTANCE, APPROVAL, VALIDATION, knowledge that you are not worthy of the shaming the world is projecting on you by showing you how dirty and evil everyone else is. This makes them the safest person to turn to from moment to moment. Remind her of who she was before him. How precious she was. The art she did. The music she was passionate about. The causes she cared about. The career she was building. Remind her how important she was in all this, and empathize with how discouraging it really is when you are starting out, but that there is ample evidence that she is capable. There are people out there that care about her too.

Gross. I mean let's forget about resolving all the suffering happening in the world and use younger women and leading them into an unnatural way of being instead of encouraging them to live powerful fruitful autonomous lives. I mean if that's what gets you off I can't stop you. But is that what would really actually fulfill you? Like on the soul level?

Oh wow! I recognize and empathize with your problem and have dipped into a similar "Where the fuck is this gonna take me?" depression many times in my life. Look back at how much you grew through each exprience. DROP the life purpose concern, it is just a tool of self abuse. Begin the work of observing the thoughts in your head constantly. Which ones are hyper critical? Don't try to hard to fix them, buy notice them and be compassionate and kind towards them.

OMG you are already a friggen lawyer!!!!!? Absolutely do anything to capitalize on that energy and ride it. Once you start practicing, you will get energy back from all that time you invested! Do ANYTHING to show that you are ready and willing to receive those practical skills. I have an unused engineering degree and it is a huge thorn in my side of unfulfilled pote tials. I am volunteering to build community housing to fill in some of the gaps in my practical knowledge. I also have a massage therapy business, and while there is no lack whatsoever of achey backs, there are many many drawbacks to this kind of work. Business will always be there at the end of the day, so there is no need to be attached to it. Developing legal skills, however is massive and requires massive effort. Please continue your journey and take breaks when appropriate.

I noticed this early when I became a massage therapist. I do chair massage at Wholefoods and get a lot of angry clients, usually who have migrains or neck spasms. If a client is coming at me and being pushy and edgy, it's because they are in a lot of pain. I ask them questions to understand exactly where and what depth the source of the issue is, and let them know through my hands and with my words that my intention is to relieve them of the source of the pain as directly as possible. There energy field moves from chaos to softness and gratitude relatively quickly. I used to get really startled when this would happen, but then I learned to be prepared to direct my efforts according to there continual feedback. Now I have no problem receiving anger and feel confident and courageous even when I don't know exactly how to solve a problem right away. Anger is coming up from a painful, verbally incompetent place, but it is trying to communicate something very important. This is what I trust. I am learning to direct this confidence inwardly towards my own anger. Yes, self, this is very painful thank you for telling me where. Thank you subconscious mind for re-living traumas every night (when I part of me would rather be sleeping) so that I can direct my efforts toward cultivating deeper understanding during the day.

Yes, sounds cruel, but better to be in alignment than in an situation that clashes too deeply with your purpose here. Perhaps next time is will be possible to hold a gentler space for another persons expansion and acceptance of your viewpoint. This can be hard though when you don't know the depth of the process their unconscious mind will have to go through... And when you don't know where your own mind will have to expand to in order to synchronize with someone who currently has different values.

I understand your pain. I sing, and with depth and passion. I feel as though no one will ever want to hear my voice, let alone jam along with me. Even like I am harming ither people's sensibility when I share myself with them. Has been depressing and annoying when I become passionate about learning a new song and realized it's for noone. But I have learned that the attention I craved so desperately as a child playing the piano all by my self for so many hours just alooooone, is attention I can now give to myself. I am who I am searching for. I can hold myself and cry, and then join myself in joy when inspiration strikes... My happiness is enough of a gift to the world. And the process I go through to create may someday be useful in unseen ways.

I am inseperable from my truth. The bird in the picture represents the singing of one's authentic song, one's purpose. The tree and the spiral staircase respresent the passage way of memories throughout the mind. Image credit: Mike Annesley

@Feel The Present What has changed for you since April 8 when you posted this? What has changed in your thoughts, feelings, actions? Just reread your post, and was struck by the dissonance of "I don't feel safe or attracted when I am in a relationship with this person" and "she is clearly a good person" Damn dude, I can understand your pain.

@Gauds55 How are you feeling now?

I am also having the question of "am I gay" come more from a place of fear of men than from actual excitement towards women. I am pretty stumped about what to do except keep googling things, and be compassionate with myself while I melt into deeper awareness. Today my big realization was that I do indeed deserve respect. I can simply ask for it when I am feeling needlessly hurt, and simply leave when the other person can't do something simple like say something nice to me after a long list of judgements. Easy as that. I don't have to wait for or tolerate bigger disrespects.

This does sound confusing, and I empathize. The first thing I notice is the acceptance. This is big. Yeah, of course, why would you not seek help about this!? But then I look at myself, and I am terrified to even tell my therapist that I have sex at all. This has a lot to do with my mom telling me to never date or have sex. I also felt very tense and on eggshells growing up, and I think I have a strong super ego, so I am really sensitive to judgements, and am learning to be more consistent with not only my self-compassionate talk, but self-compassionate actions, like leaving work early today because I didn't feel good, which I could never have done in the past. I imagine your girlfriend would be supportive if you told her you are feeling in to your own sexual insecurities and doing to work of leaning into it and growing. I really really really believe in non-violent communication, if you ever have 5 hours to listen to the online course. Regularly stating your emotions out loud will help you start to authentically express who you are, your emotions are your personal truth right!? Perhaps you don't have to state your emotions to your gf, but to a therapist that you trust? Or even just more to yourself. I am learning that a lot of our underlying unmet needs have to do with self-worth. The more we can really genuinely stop in our suffering and send ourselves the message that we are looking for, the more we can feel it coming from all around us. Messages like, "Self, I know this has been really hard. Many people have experienced something like this. May I be kind to myself in this moment. Yes, I am lovable and perfect, and I will be present with myself and treat myself well in this moment." I think you are brilliant for trying to uncover your genuine self for yourself, removing your blockages to see what is hiding underneath.

Hello, What do you think about 5G!? _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I recently bought some AMKOR stocks just to try out investing, and I found out that AMKOR is a 5G company. I am doing my research about 5G, and it seems ethically grey - like on the order of teflon or vaccines. Will I be able to sleep at night if I make money on this? Seems like we're headed in the direction of 5G anyways. Anyone have either strong or even mild opinions about this? In other areas here's where I stand: -mostly organic/all vegetatian -filter on my kitchen sink tap -using both teflon and non-teflon pans -pro-vaccination when it seems important, but I don't get flu or tetanus shots -don't use my computer and phone together or for excessive amounts of time because they make my fingers tingle Also, my ego is super invested in a dream of escaping the cycle of poverty and rent traps through building a tiny home, which I think are seriously healthy goals. So, will I be able to sleep at night if I don't invest in this!?

I wonder if the responses would have been different if I had put this in the enlightenment forum!?

Thank you for all your inputs, and resource. It certainly is an interesting discussion about humanity and our current limitations. I have a strong preference for that which is immediately observable. And I do think we should all look at whether or not our attachment to our devices is actually serving us personally. In some ways, the devices are absolutely making life easier, and really we can't turn around anyways. And in other ways, living in a cave still is a thing that some people choose do. I have a bias against Dr. Mercola because I'm not aware of anything in his entire philosophy of health that mentions looking inwardly. Anything that talks about understanding and learning from emotions. Or building effective relationships through meaningful communication. These things are far more impactful on my health. I also am skeptical of information that is coming entirely from a financially-minded place. I prefer to learn from both sides, and feel what feels right inside of me.

We care about you...

He washes our feet in his underwear. Going deeper into humility. As if he expects us to slay him like a lamb. Is this narcissistic empathy?

Hey, am kinda going through whether or not I should be poly too... Am trying to integrate myself, and every boyfriend gets me to go deeper in some unexpected way. Would be willing to be monogamous, because that is it's own deep challenge. But no matter, we literally need relationships. Even if you use the robot scanner at the grocery store, you are still eating the veggies that someone else picked for you. Maybe it is time for me to revisit this list: https://www.cnvc.org/training/resource/needs-inventory, and genuinely consider what excites me, and offer it as something my bf can choose to help me meet. I shouldn't blame my bf for my own personal frustration at his lag time in matching my awareness, and likewise I shouldn't blame myself for not being up to speed on his awareness. Learning to compassionately give and receive is a part of my growth anyways. I am allowing new needs to arise and spiral me up.

Your story touches my heart. I think the friends you are looking for are out there, and with time you can refine your process of manifesting nourishing community. I have a friend who is definitely a few steps behind me in some areas, and ahead in others. I think we do fine silently tolerating each others limits, but I crave those moments when we do sync up.

This little project introduced me to the challenge of recording things. I would love to do a full-length, high-quality version some day!

You have identified with wanting sex. She has identified with wanting only things other than sex. She is not going to change. This is the fundamental conflict.

@billiesimon Thanks for sharing your dilemma. It helped me get out of my own head and look at someone else's story for a minute. I am not sure what the solution is for you. For myself, I am finding more and more lately that root causes kind of move around a lot. But I do find that I can go deeper with a problem if I meditate when it arises, just a tick longer than is comfortable. A tiny bit every day.

Who has said that reality would exist without consciousness? Would you love what is any less if Reality couldn't exist without Consciousness?

Eventually, when you make it to the level of grad school, and are still looking at yourself like how the F did a shmuck like me get here, you will finally realize the depth of the fact that noone knows what they're doing. I say go for it and tell us what you think. Or don't and keep googling for better answers. Or go for it AND keep googling. Or join a monastery for a year. All solid options.

√-1 Imaginary numbers. Although, I just looked into it and apparently they're real! @Leo Gura Can I change my SN to Michaela? <3