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I got to know this person who had a tumor in their second cervical vertebra and had it removed by surgery. It was replaced by a piece of calf bone from a stranger, which is also supported with titanium screws. I got curious whether a person in this condition could, in principle, experience a Kundalini awakening. I thought that it might be an issue, since the spine is supposed to be central in this process. But I don't know much about it, so I wondered what you people would have to say about that. Anyone of you knows of any cases of Kundalini awakening being experienced by people with damaged spines? Thanks for taking the time to read.

What is your life purpose? With what do you think you need be successful?

The reason you want to cut off family ties is because you don't see the point and it distracts you from other things in which you see more of a point, am I reading you correctly? I feel similar about my family. Whenever they ask me to meet them, I would much much rather do something else that seems way more important to me. So what I'm trying out at the moment is to just tell them that I feel like I don't have time, because I feel the need to take care of other things and I also tell them what these things are. Works well so far, we'll see how it goes.

@billiesimon Where did your insecurity come from? What were you scared of?

@billiesimon It can really hurt the ego on a very deep level to feel like you're not good enough for someone to love you and commit to that. Maybe that's what happened for her when you were acting insecure about the relationship. The fact that there weren't any problems before she freaked out doesn't mean she didn't still carry a lot of resentment that just might not have been present or visible. You weren't clear about what you want. Whenever that's the case, don't be surprised if things don't go your way. This not only applies to relationships. You asked for peace, so here is what I would try in your position if I wanted to attain that: First, I would try to assess what happened as clearly and honestly as possible. (The fact that you didn't share the reasons for your breakup, as if it wasn't relevant for the current situation, might indicate that you can do more than what you did so far in that regard.) Then I would try to pinpoint situations in which I could have acted more honestly and more in line with my ideal self. Where could I have improved the conversation about one another's wants and needs and other feelings? Then I would try to reframe the whole thing as an experience that I can learn from. Then I would go on with my life and do the learning. Try to get a good connection to my values and focus on pursuing my goals. Let interactions and connections with people come as they come and happen as they happen, keeping in mind the knowledge I've gained from past experiences. As long as it doesn't hurt too much, I would consider bringing the other person along this process, if she so wishes, to whatever extent seems beneficial. And lastly, I would remind myself that humans are strange creatures in a strange universe, in which many things can happen at many times, but ultimately, I'm never really in danger and in the end I can always be fine if I let myself

Why did she break up with you? What were your/her problems before that?

Why do you put the responsibility on others instead of yourself to make yourself feel safe in a conversation? Why was that step necessary? Why weren't you able to speak your mind in front of him as you're doing it here? If it would have been fruitless either way, then why do you make it hurt? To me this sounds like you want to be saved by a man who doesn't want to save you (and also fits a bunch of other specific requirements). Maybe saved in a different context, but structurally it's the same thing. And then there are some other things I won't say because I'm afraid of sounding arrogant and mean

Have you tried to change that? What happens if you dress warm enough? You're not a frog, you're a human being

Why can't you walk all day in winter?

#3 Ultramarine - Stuck? I decided it makes much more sense to number the goals instead of the entries. So "Ultramarine" is the third goal in this journal. I've been spending a lot of time in a forest occupation these days, and I've been almost only at home when I had to work. However, when I do take the time for creating music, I make quite a lot of progress. But it still feels very bad to progress with my goals as slowly as I do at the moment. Today, I was practicing "Ultramarine" and I could play it fairly well by the end. The sheet music will be a pain in the ass, though. I want to write in a mixture of neumes and regular notes and I yet have no idea how to pull that off in Finale 25. I have a really difficult time at finding proper tutorials for Finale 25 in general. It has a forum though, I guess I should create an account and ask questions there. So, intermediate goal in order to progress with the current one: -> Create an account at the Finale forum and ask how to combine neumes and regular notes. (This only came to my mind as I was writing this entry. Shows me how reflection by writing can bring valuable clarity very easily.) For some reason, I had zero motivation to go at this by force and just find out a way to write the sheet music the way I want. Instead, I was procrastinating with writing a different piece. I wanted to share a photograph of the sheet, but the file is too large and I'm too lazy right now to make it smaller. It's a nice little piece, maybe I will make it bigger someday. And maybe I will share a recording soon. I also procrastinated with practicing lots of other pieces, which was nice too. Tomorrow I wanna clean my flat. Thursday and Friday I have to work. So maybe I'll go at my Finale issues on the weekend.

#0 Outline Within a year, I start about 400 things and finish about 4. Drawings, pieces of music, books, projects, habits, everything. I want to be able to finish what I start, when I decide to. I don't know how far I want to train this ability. For now, I just know that want to get some of it at all. That's what I want to learn through this journal. So here's the idea: I start by setting out a goal. Then, I will try to act it out. When I make progress, I will report and celebrate that progress. When I struggle, I will report and reflect on that struggle. At some point, I hopefully reach the goal. Then ,I will set a new one and start again. Maybe sometimes I will decide to drop a goal, maybe none of this will amount to anything. But then at least I want to see where I get stuck and why, so I can try to fix it from there. That's the outline, let's see where it's gonna take me.

This might very well be possible. And it would mean that anyone can get out of depression by taking the right care of their mind and body. SURPRISE!

Thanks for the share! @Socrates I'd recommend watching until 58:30. To me, what you're sharing here seems like you think you can find a viable life purpose just by watching videos and answering questions, without ever having created a single result. Isn't it obvious that it doesn't work like that? If I was in your position, I would try to find a unique perspective about life that I'd like to share, write that on a piece of paper and then think of different ways of communicating it, write those on a piece of paper and then creating the things one by one. It can be a drawing, a poem, an article, a short film, a song, whatever. Hell, it can even be just a photograph of the piece of paper where you've written down the perspective you wanted to share. Your path can start with something as simple as an instagram account where you share such photographs.

Well, maybe the outcome of the course is still correct/viable and you gotta find any way of creating an instance where you communicate a unique perspective about life creatively with the aim of making others grow. And then you just do more of that and then you try out several other different ways. And after a while some of them stick and interest you enough so that you're willing to put in the effort to become good at them.

Then how can you arrive at that as your life purpose? I don't know what the course looks like exactly, but this seems really strange to me. Can you think of any way of creating such an example?

l sometimes find various hand gestures similar to the ones he does in the video insanely comforting or just interesting when meditating. My whole feeling of the body or my emotions can change completely just from that. Don't know what's behind this for him though, it's just my experience.

Can you post one single example of where you communicate a unique perspective about life creatively with the aim of making at least one person grow?

To me this seems like dogma thrown against a straw man. What is the point of closed relationships? @ValiantSalvatore My main thought about this is that the idea of telling another person what they are supposed to do or not to do when I'm not around, doesn't make sense to me. Sometimes I agree on temporary exclusivity (for example at the moment), when I'm really okay with it. But ultimately, it doesn't make sense to me (at least it never did so far). I haven't lived a long-term open relationship yet, but I'm still pretty sure it's very much possible. Connecting with people on an intimate level is still a learning process for me that will go on a long way. It's exciting and interesting and I'm making huge progress at the moment. Maybe I can tell you more in the near future

I was curious what someone who spits wisdom and is supposedly high on some map of development would do with their lives.

@Benjamin Jackson Thanks for your suggestions! Finding the right music I've already done, but going slowly and taking breaks in between is something I will try out. Mind to tell me the title of this 24 bar phrase piece? Sounds like something I NEED to hear

But now that you've realized it's bullshit, this particular rationalization won't count anymore next time, right? So you were actually moving forward. What do your eating habits look like at the moment?

@Mighty Mouse What's your current life situation?

Yeah and he also caused the end of reputation and rank with these posts His statements about Spiral Dynamics didn't seem very compelling to me, but I still felt like there was the possibility of finding something worth looking into. That's what brought me to asking around whether there are any substantial resources of theory or if some people just make up shit randomly, because it's always fancy to talk about EVEN HIGHER STAGES. I've read some of the early Clare Graves articles some time ago and his ideas seemed to me to have potential. So if they were developed further in any substantial way, I wanna know and look into that, that's all.

By it being private, do you mean something other than you don't wanna show it? If not, what's the reason for that? I take advice from many people on many things. Whether they are more advanced than me in that thing is irrelevant, what's relevant is whether the advice is helpful or not. Another suggestion: If you miss a program on the market titled "How to MASTER Illustration", you can first find your own way of mastering it and then create that program.

@WaterfallMachine Is that because you don't want to admit that you're in the need of help and feel like you have to figure it out by yourself first in order to even feel confident enough to step infront of other people? Because that's my problem. But I had the fortune of stumbling upon a climate activist forest occupation recently, where I was constantly thrown in situations where I just had to connect with people and ask around whenever I needed something. That helped tremendously. It feels so good to let these walls of "protection" down, that I was only sabotaging myself with for all these years. Still a lot of work for me to do there, though.