Wyatt

Do they want to improve? That's the first step that must come from them. If they think everything is peachy and they are unwilling to change and grow, then you're going to feel like you're trying to drag a 10-ton elephant to water. Old people have been doing things for a long time and are typically stuck in their ways. Even if they consciously want to change and move up the spiral, it can take years to really get anywhere. You also need to understand that, unless you have a VERY clear idea in your head of where they're going on the spiral, you won't have a shot in hell to help them move. Are you positive that's the stage they're at now? Do they show unhealthy expressions of the stage they're in? How can you help improve their life so they are expressing a healthier version of blue, orange, and green? What do they read and listen to? Who are their friends? Are they surrounded by people and things that are keeping them at their stage? What can you do to bring more higher-value ideas into their life? Do they know how good their life could be? Could you help them develop a vision for their future that is enticing enough for them to accept your help? These are all questions you need to answer. Hope this helps brotha!

You can use questions and ideas to consciously bring yourself to a vision. Write down questions like: What do I want my relationships to look like? What do I want to do for my profession? What is important about life? Then sit comfortably and close your eyes. Ask yourself a question over and over again and see what your brain comes up with. This can take a lot of time and practice to get good at, but this is a great way to become more aware of your thoughts and to consciously visualize your future

You can believe whatever you want, but I can call bullshit when I see it. Astrology is pure ridiculousness. If there are 7 billion people on earth, that means there are about 600 million people in each zodiac sign. How could they ALL have the same traits? Judging and basing people's character on the month that they were born is inaccurate and simplifies life too much.

Sounds like you have existential anxiety. Seems like you're afraid of death. Nobody really wants to die, so it's the ultimate phobia. But death isn't inherently bad or scary, it's just in how you perceive it. How can you have a healthier relationship with the knowledge of your mortality?

Just finished watching Hulu’s Fyre Festival documentary. Really incredible story. The founder of the festival, Billy McFarland, lied to more than ten thousand people and illegally took more than $20 million from them. Billy’s a self-admitted sociopath. Sociopaths are people who don’t understand other’s emotions. They often act in ways that hurt others but feel no remorse for the pain they cause. In my short 22 years I’ve met several sociopaths. My uncle, 2 kids I knew well in high-school, 2 girls I’ve met while dating, a fraternity brother, a former friend from college that was able to manipulate people very successfully, and my mom’s old boss who started a fraudulent business and scammed people out of millions of dollars. And the more people that tell me stories about crazy people they know, the more I see how many sociopaths there really are. There seems to be more out there than I used to think. A few questions: 1. Are sociopaths born differently or do life experiences form their tendencies? Is it a problem with their brain? 2. What is there to learn about how the ego works by studying sociopaths? 3. Sociopaths are master manipulators. Good advice for protecting yourself from being manipulated?

@Jedd You can become a very successful group trainer if you have the personality and presence for it. But that's very difficult as a young person. If I were you, I'd put some time and money into getting a regular personal training certification from ACE or NASM. That way you can work one-on-one with clients, make more money, learn from your experiences and get an understanding of how people learn and how you can teach. If you really love group training and could never see yourself as a personal trainer, sign up for group training classes. Spend a few hundred bucks and a few months or years taking group training classes. Write down what the trainer does well or how you would do it differently. Ask the trainer questions after the classes. Talk with other people in the class and see how they learn. The facility may notice your interest and offer you a training position. That's my 2 cents. Only one way to find out if it's your calling.

You want to take the easy path and be someone else's employee and have them tell you what to do for your living? Go to school. That's what it's for. Nothing wrong with this path, it must be taken by most people to have a functioning society. You want to take the challenging path and dictate how your life is going to play out? Don't go to school. Start your own business. Learn along the way. Make your life an adventure that an author would jump at the opportunity to write about.

Whatever you think you know about what women want, give it up. Everyone wants something different and specific. Some women want a man that's stoic and a rock. Some women want a man who's adventurous and will take them everywhere. Some women want a man who's sensitive and emotional and easy to open up with. So just be whatever comes naturally. Then, if you put yourself out there as yourself, you'll get a few takers. Now the girl likes you for who you are, no need to pretend to be something you're not. But if you consciously change and develop, expect the relationship to fall apart. That's life

@Patty This is your time. Right at the age of retirement! You still have an incredible life you can live. Take care of your health, contemplate the most important questions you have about life, read tons of books, and just spend time feeling grateful for all of your experiences and what they taught you. Nothing fucking better.

@ExodiaGearCEO What problem does your product or service solve? Why is that important? That's your brand. It's just a way for people to think about your product. No one on here will have the answer for you. Study the top 50 companies in the world and see what their brands represent. What emotions do their brand elicit? Why do people believe in the brand? Do some research

@MiracleMan Being realistic, you should understand that there is SUCH a small chance that you'll make enough money to support yourself as a musician. Especially in the first few years. You need to weigh the psychological toll of each choice: what will the negative emotions and thoughts be like with living very minimally for the next 5+ years pursuing music? Or, on your deathbed, will you hate yourself for stick with the safe option and never pursuing your passion as an artist? No one else can answer this for you. My advice is, live extremely frugally for a few years until you save enough money to quit your job and pursue music without a plan of making real money for a few years. If your job really does pay well, this is a possibility.

I'm the owner of a personal training business. This industry should not be for those who are dabblers. People are putting their health and trust into your hands, and that's a serious responsibility. Stop dabbling. Fully invest yourself into a field. Doesn't fuckin matter which field. Just put yourself fully into it. Work on it like it's life or death. Whether you love it or hate it, you'll learn more about yourself and your future than anything else.

@MM1988 Why would you allow other's "happiness" and well-being to bring you suffering? They're living their life based on the information and knowledge they have, which is often very culturally based. It sounds like you think you have a better idea of what happiness and fulfillment are than most people. If you do, go and do it. Prove to yourself and them that personal development is the true path to lasting happiness. Why be envious of the blind?

In order to get rid of your addictions, you need to understand how addictions are formed: There are problems in your life. These problems cause you to have negative thoughts and uncomfortable emotions. Your brain subconsciously says: "I want to escape this suffering!! What if there was a way to get rid of these negative feelings? Oh, I remember! Every time I watch youtube videos and masturbate, I boost my feel-good hormones and escape this suffering. That's what I'm gonna do." And then you do. And now you're totally 'satiated' and have no need to solve the root cause of your problems. You're digging a hole for yourself that's gonna get harder and harder to climb out of. So, to get rid of this cycle, you need to identify the problems in your life that cause you negative thoughts and emotions. These are the problems that initiate you to act on the addictions (or negative habits). Maybe the problem is that you're lonely, so you need to make intimate relationships. Maybe the problem is that you're unhealthy, so you need to eat better and exercise. I don't know what your root problems are, but once you identify them, start to contemplate how you're going to get rid of them.

I have about 500 books I want to get to before I die. Unfortunately and fortunately, I have a process for reading books that seems to make reading them extremely effective but takes GOBS of time. I'm OK with only reading a few books a year if I can really understand and integrate the books into my life. My question is: can you think of anything else that would make reading books more effective for personal development? Here's my process: Skim the chapter names, subheadings, pictures, and any bits of information in the book that sticks out to you (maybe the beginning and ending paragraph of each chapter) Write down the main ideas of the book, and what the book’s goal is (example: teach you about gardening) Create a contemplation on your ideas of the book. Write down everything that you think you know about that topic(s). Ask questions and answer them with as much accuracy as possible. This will get you thinking about the book and your ideas on it before you even start. Read the book. Take notes as you read, preferably writing the notes at the end of each chapter. This will force you to recall the information you learned. Only write the important points. Once finished with the book, go back through your notes and refine and expand them as needed. Ask yourself these questions: Is the information in the book true? How do you know? How can you find out? Combine the ideas from your book notes into your contemplation. This will typically expand your contemplation to include more details and more subtle information on the topic, potentially changing everything you thought you knew about the topic. Take your notes from the book and come up with practical next-steps based on the information. This is the hard part. We’re trying to integrate the knowledge into our life. Come up with specific times during the day, week, month, year, or decade to utilize the information. Take the important details of the book (as well as other information you contemplated) and put it into a quizlet study guide. This will help you study the information when needed, keeping it top of mind.

Hi Actualized family! I, and the rest of the community, need your help getting an interview between Joe Rogan and Leo Gura. Joe Rogan's podcast has millions of followers and a devout audience that would immensely benefit from hearing a conversation between Leo and Joe. This would help extend our self-actualiztion/consciousness "branch" to a mass audience that may need it even more than us. Leo said in his recent post that if Joe reached out to him, Leo would be on his podcast. I know that the only way Joe and his team look into getting a certain guest is if they get enough requests for that person. Meaning QUANTITY>QUALITY for requests. If you've heard Joe Rogan, his interests and mind-set and depth closely match Leo's (psychedelics, deep contemplaters, both meditate and do yoga, seem to understand reality from an outside perspective, focused on self-improvement, etc.). How cool would it be to see some of the most interesting people alive have a conversation about the incredible topics we focus on? How much growth could they catalyze together? We need your help to send Joe and his team a message! IMPORTANT: Here is the link to his manager's website and contact page where you can make requests: http://www.jsmla.com/contact-us/ Here is a sample request to make it simple for you: "Hi Mr. Sussman, Leo Gura from Actualized.org's 650,000 subscribers would love to see Joe interview Leo. They have many similar interests that would blend well in an interview. This interview would be a big hit with both of their followers. Thank you!"

Yeah, people who blindly follow advice aren’t particularly smart. But... Advice, like any language, is just a way of helping the other person imagine pieces of reality. Maybe you have something you learned and experienced that would benefit huge groups of people! Wouldn’t you make other people stupid by keeping it to yourself?

@see_on_see is totally right. Events happen to you, and it seems like the best thing to do is try to understand them from many different perspectives to get the “message” out of them. Whether your life happens because of some transcendant force like God or just for no reason at all, why not use your experiences of reality to your advantage? Here are some questions I ask myself when thinking about the past: Why does thinking about that situation, chain of events, or life conditions make me feel uncomfortable? What exactly happened in that situation? Are my emotions telling me to change in a particular direction? Learning from mistakes and growing is a tough process, but like Carlos Castenada said: “We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.” @MM1988 it’s pretty common for people to feel anxious or depressed in the morning. Eat a large breakfast when you wake up! You just fasted for 8 hours when sleeping, your brain and body need energy to run properly

After watching Leo's videos on Spiral Dynamics, I was fascinated enough to read the original book by Den Beck and Chris Cowan. A fantastic read that goes even deeper into spiral dynamics than Leo's videos, not only explaining the values and morals of each stage, but also why people change on the spiral and how you can become a wizard of the spiral (becoming a second-tier thinker and integrating the pieces of the spiral into your psyche). You have to wonder: with such a fantastic model, why aren't more psychologists and sociologists talking about spiral dynamics? Are they too low on the spiral to appreciate it? Or are they too caught up in old ideas of their field? Fortunately, there are a few that are really starting to understand it, whether they call it spiral dynamics or not. Bradley Campbell and Jason Manning are authors of "The Rise of Victimhood Culture." They study genocide, specifically the mindset and justifications of those killing others, as well as the psychology of the victims of genocide. Over the past few years they've been studying American victimhood and have identified 3 evolutions in our America's culture, specifically how individuals get acceptance and recognition from society: 1. Honor culture: This was the culture from the mid-1700's up until the early-mid 1900's. People in honor culture are very concerned with the honor and positive recognition of themselves and their family from others. This is why, when Alexander Hamilton insulted a man, the man challenged him to a duel to defend his honor. This is how Alexander Hamilton died. We look back on this event and think it's silly, but in the eyes of someone living in a culture predicated on honor and acceptance of others for your social status, this only made sense. This idea of culture fits in very well with stage Blue. Blue is a stage focused on the collective. They value nationalism (honor of your country and state), moralism (honor of what you think is right and wrong), and religion (honor of your church and the higher power it praises). Honor culture is the way that stage Blue gets acceptance from the group. 2. Dignity Culture: Near the mid-1900's, American values advanced into dignity culture. Dignity culture is not concerned with how others view you. What's more important than the acceptance of others is the acceptance of yourself. If there is a dispute, you will either not worry about getting into an altercation because their "sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you." If it comes to it, and another person is not showing you any respect, you handle it with legal action and allow others to handle the dispute. But to keep your reputation you try your best to ignore what others think of you so you can think highly of yourself. This ties in with stage Orange. Stage Orange swings towards the individual, focused on self-acceptance, self-achievement, materialism, and selfishness. Dignity culture and stage Orange are very interrelated. 3. Victimhood Culture: It all started about 10 years ago. There are numerous factors that led to this transition in culture, but individuals and groups became more accepted by society the more they became victims. Now, the more that people view themselves as the victim, the more positive attention they get from others. They view the world as those who are the oppressors and those who are the oppressed. There are groups in this country that are legitimately victimized, like African Americans and Muslims and Native Americans, but others who are not systematically oppressed are jumping on the victim bandwagon. The rise of the term 'microaggression' is a clear example. If another person says something that they don't consciously mean to be offensive but it causes you to have a slight negative emotional reaction, we would call this a microaggression. Those who are part of victim culture will complain about this online or to their friends, hoping for a sympathetic reaction about the triggering encounter. We've all met the perpetual victim: "Why did that person say that to me? How could they treat me like that? Why is the world against me??" This is a clear example of stage Green. Green's whole motive is to create equality, unity, and acceptance. If you're not treating everyone else with TOTAL respect and acceptance, you're not following along with their values. Everyone is equal, and if any specific person or group is talked to or treated in a way that's not equal, they're a victim. There are some serious problems with victim culture. Those that are genuinely oppressed and discriminated against don't have as strong of a voice if everyone also feels like the victim. On top of that, if you're part of victim culture, taking responsibility for your actions and what you do isn't important anymore. What's more important is controlling other people's speech and actions to stop them from being oppressive. This victim mentality also allows for truly terrible people to justify their actions. "Well, everyone is getting offended at everything! Just because I'm part of the KKK doesn't make me a bad person. Everyone is calling everyone an oppressor, so I'm fine!" TLDR: I think I'm seeing a rise in an unhealthy aspect of stage Green. Am I missing something here? Am I not fully integrating certain aspects of stage Green? Or are we seeing a rise in an unhealthy expression of this stage on the spiral?

I don’t think it’s about charming. I think it’s about accurately articulating how you’ve developed and the steps you got to get there, as well as explaining the most important ideas you have in a way that gets others to listen. Your age means nothing if you show people you’re able to help them, and then actually do it. Do you want to work for someone else? Do you want to work for yourself? This will determine a lot about your financial opportunities. If you work for someone else, you will have the autonomy to focus on working on improving your coaching and directly helping others, but will have to be paid by someone else so probably will not have a 6 figure salary. If you work for yourself, you’ll have a huge amount of growth potential with your income, but will learn how to run a successful life-coaching business and then opperate it (do all the marketing, manage employees, do the paperwork for the business, etc.) Btw, I’m a 21 year old and am the founder of my own personal training and nutrition coaching company. Not exactly a life coach, but the general concept of coaching across most fields is similar.

@PsiloPutty Wow I'm an idiot. I thought it said "Tai Lopez" not "Koi Fresco". It's been a long day My opinion of Koi Fresco is pretty high. Seems to be a peaceful guy who wants to help through new-age religion. 8.5/10

Says his goal is to help young men make money and set themselves up for financial success. He's a pretty typical self-help guy. If you study spiral dynamics, he appeals to stage orange listeners. Could be a useful individual to learn from if you're in that stage of development and are interested in simply making money, but not a very developed person IMHO

@Erlend K Great advice. Also, keep your phone charging in the bathroom. When you want to go check it, you're already out of bed and close to the shower

@Alexop I know this isn't specifically a life-coaching course, but Precision Nutrition is one of the best resources I've ever seen on how to be a good coach. They focus specifically on nutrition science (important for life-coaching as well), but the amazing part about it is all the psychological and process-oriented advice they give on how to coach someone effectively at their level of change. Amazing information. Also, read the spiral dynamics book if you haven't yet. Their advice on helping others, whether using their model or not, is priceless. Would love updates on your life-coaching business!

I don't know you at all, but based on your age, I don't think it'd be smart to get the book list or life purpose course now. I've done both of them. You need more life experience to really understand what these books are referring to when they talk about business or relationships or personal development or whatever. If you read them without the experience, you'll either not have a damn clue what they're talking about or just dogmatically believe the book. And, right now, you're just starting to think about if college is the right option and which one to go to, let alone what to pursue for the rest of your life. I'd get the life purpose course if you've contemplated what your life-purpose should be for 100s of hours and still don't have an answer