Nathan

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Everything posted by Nathan

  1. I'd generally smoke far less tobacco if I was high all day, but I wouldn't really recommend it as a nicotine quitting aid. Cannabis isn't physically addictive but it's very habit forming, plus it's even more expensive than tobacco.
  2. The mind will fire all kinds of opinions and feelings, many of which as you've witnessed are the opposite of beneficial. The important thing is to not identify with these thoughts, try not to take them too seriously, that will be difficult at the moment though. The more you focus your attention on them the more the mind will generate new thought content of that nature. This can be difficult when braving through the storm of negative feelings as feelings are very powerful and tend to command our attention. The best thing you can do is to focus mainly on what's going on in your reality instead of what your mind is making of it, perceive rather than think. Your direct attention is sort of like a spotlight, it can't really focus on two things at once very efficiently. The more you pay attention to your thought, the less engaged you are with reality and vice versa. Pay attention to the present moment of your reality, and when your attention is diverted to any alarming thoughts/feelings, try to bring your attention back to your perception. It helps if what you're witnessing is something you find engaging, that way your mind will be fixated on that and is less likely to work against you and drag up ruminations about what you've been experiencing the last few months.
  3. You sure about that? In my area the amount of single girls parallels the amount of single guys more or less. I spent some time on the incel.me forum after the van attack and it's the biggest self-deprecating echo chamber I've come across to date. Go out into your community and TALK to girls rather than sitting around ruminating about your supposed inadequacies. Also a fulfilling life doesn't hinge on the acquisition of a romantic partner, I noticed the community were treating it like the essential criteria for contentment. A person's happiness can't be reliant on another person, that responsibility lies with the individual.
  4. I've had mind attacks before, they're life shattering, prolonged and in the midst of them it feels like it there isn't a chance that life will ever be okay again because you've dug deeper than you can handle. But trust me, it will pass.. the mind will quieten eventually and after the struggle it won't have the influence that it did prior.
  5. He knows full-well what he's doing and the trauma it carries but chooses to dehumanise you and does it anyway. Standing up for yourself to him is brave and empowering but don't trust his words, you don't know what his headspace is at the moment so don't allow yourself to be in a situation with him where there isn't a third party present. Online support is nice but I feel you should confide all this to somebody you trust in your life, it doesn't have to be a family member or anyone associated with your family or anything, a close friend maybe. I'm sure it sounds like a lot to put on somebody, but people can be surprisingly supportive and the alternative is dealing with the situation without support, you shouldn't have to deal with the situation alone.
  6. Try to appreciate life for what it is and try not to get hung up about how you form and maintain an identity in it. Your mind is firing anxious feelings on all cylinders at the moment so just try and find something relaxing to engage with and let things run their course. Don't get pulled in and alarmed by the self talk, breathe. You'll feel better later, everything is transient including this dark period of yours.
  7. Is he eating/drinking/sleeping? You hear about buddha/jesus just sitting constantly without getting distracted. Pretty sure I heard sadhguru mention he sat in source for like 11 days and it felt like minutes or something, during that time he wouldn't have nourished himself. Sounds fucking risky to me tho.
  8. I wouldn't say beauty requires meaning, everything is compelling. It's true that nothing "matters" but at the same time everything "matters". No part of life requires a purpose but the brain attempts to derive one nonetheless. Meaning is still a criteria you're trying to fill, is that neccessary?
  9. At least in this day and age you're able to access platforms on which you can discuss these kind of topics openly and listen to/read an infinite amount of relevent content. Those in the past didn't have that privilege. Humans have a tendency to follow each others behavior and viewpoints, if you're challenging deeply rooted beliefs, even if it's in a lighthearted manner, expect resistance. It's nice to share realisations, I know when I was dipping my feet into all of this initially I was very vocal about my findings with people in my life but the desire to do so gradually waned lol. If you really want to broadcast things, it's probably better to do so in an art form rather than casual conversation.
  10. Oh man, I've never had a dream in which the dream characters addressed normal waking reality. That's lucidity to the extent that you can have a conversation comparing and contrasting the dream reality to this reality, sounds like a total mindfuck. Fingers crossed you get to revisit that situation when you fall asleep again and dig deeper, providing you'd be comfortable with that. I always found my dreams felt just as real as this "real"ity, they are just more short-lived and don't have as much continuity.
  11. I think science is an objective search for establishable fact and it's methodology in doing so is very commendable. Though I feel the general public have a tendency to treat science like gospel in the way that many religious followers treat scripture without much personal analysis. I don't think there's anything wrong with science in it's pure form but I think it could be utilised better.
  12. This used to happen to me also. An awareness of the fact that I was blushing would lead to increased nervousness and elevate the blushing to epic proportions! I found consciously trying to pay attention to the external enviroment rather than myself worked wonders but like anything it takes some practice. Try not to worry about it anyways, nobody really cares if you blush
  13. Keep telling people gradually and. steadily adjust to it. If anyone ridicules you along the way, let them wallow in their ignorance. Sexuality should be a complete non-issue but I understand that with the way society is set up at the moment the conditions for coming out aren't as ideal as they could be. Stay kind and don't let anyones negativity rub off on you too much. Hope things are well on your end
  14. It kinda puts a damper on the whole life experience. I'm not afraid of the concept of death but am terrified of the pain that accompanies it.
  15. I mean I'd probably rub my eyes, and begin to question my sanity. I get where you're coming from, it's exciting to immerse yourself in thrilling circumstances from the comfort of your armchair. We get so involved in the drama that we begin to tense up when things start perilous for the actors, as though we were there with them.
  16. No,I could see the benefit of it in my circumstance though. I'm suprised it never occured to me earlier considering I ruminate bout pain/pleasure a lot. Could probably learn a lot from the masochist perspective, good advice
  17. I mean short answer: I'm asking cuz I'm a pussy who's pissed that life contains severe pain knowing that I'll eventually be riddled with it. So I yell fuck the design despite being fairly infatuated with it ._. I guess it feels like I'm complaining rather than seeking, but at the heart of every complaint is an opinion that's malleable I guess.
  18. I would say I totally see it in myself in regards to emotional pain relating to a lack of contentment. Though I was kinda wondering about physical pain mainly, I don't subscribe to the abrahamic notion of God but I do believe that existential experience was designed. I just don't see how physical pain existing in the extremity that it does is necessary.
  19. I always saw pain as the counterbalance to pleasure, so for pleasure to exist in duality pain would have to exist. But just because a counterbalance is neccessary doesn't mean it has to carry as much weight as it does. In what sense are they the same movement? The sensation is certainly discernable.
  20. I guess it just feels inherently unbearable, not just in humans but throughout the animal kingdom too. Are you suggesting by changing your perspective on the matter pain can feel as fulfilling as pleasure?
  21. From my experience reality is more of a "happening" than a "happened to" yet it doesn't always seem that way, just part of it's intricateness I guess.
  22. 1. I don't think it's possible for an individual to predict how they themselves will react to psychedelics let alone speculate about somebody else's response. All you can really do is list the risks and benefits and supposed beneficial settings and let them decide for themselves. 2. I mean "exist" is a term coined by humans and thrust upon aspects of reality. What does 'to exist' mean to you? Why does the concept of not actually existing carry such a negative connotation?
  23. Well I guess it'll just happen when it happens, don't take it too seriously and be attached to results else you're just constantly anticipating the future. Perhaps that's just me attempting to avoid the work though, who knows.
  24. I mean it's not like I want the whole story to fall apart at the seams, it's just the pain is so fucking tangible and I'm pretty sure the rest of the dreams I have don't have to make theoretical sense. :3