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Everything posted by Nathan

  1. If you're to truely understand what it really means to deprive someone else of life, to make that decision for have to honestly grapple with the fact you're going to die too. Our shared mortality is one of the strongest factors that unites us, but nobody likes to think about death and we lose a lot of empathy as a result of that aversion.
  2. You're analysing the concept of oneness and creating a gloomy narrative about it that makes you feel isolated and dejected.@Flyboy 's analogy is spot on. I know it doesn't feel like it now but you've stumbled upon something profoundly beautiful. It may feel like the complete opposite of beauty for some time; during this liminal period take good care of yourself and reach out for support when you need it. A caveat though, be careful expressing yourself about all of this in real life.
  3. I was completely convinced of the materialist paradigm until one day I had a sober perceptible experience of shared consciousness. Everyone's emotions just hanging out in the open like vulnerable and endearing. The reason I started browsing topics in the sphere of spirituality was because I was chasing that experience. I've had acid experiences where you feel like you're on the same wavelength as your trip buddies and it's like you're all coming from the same place. I don't understand it at all but I gather it relates more to feeling than thinking anyway. Interested to see what people have to say about this topic 🙂
  4. You don't always have to weigh the effectiveness of your actions against all of the suffering in the macrocosm. Helping to make just a single person's life a little easier isn't a trivial thing, it's actually a pretty big deal. Learn to narrow your focus when it serves you. If you want to, you can take action to alleviate some of the unfairness in the world, that doesn't mean you're obligated to consume media relating to all that unfairness.
  5. He must be swift as coursing river...With all the force of a great typhoon!
  6. I've had two similar experiences (lots of synchronicities, beleiving certain scenarios and images represented specific meaning for me in particular and that I was supposed to encounter them etc). It did feel like I was becoming more sane as opposed to the opposite, yet looking back on actions I took in retrospect it's hard to fully understand where I was coming from. 😅 Both were diagnosed as transitory psychotic episodes and after the remission of each I wasn't advised to take a medication regimen or anything like that as a prophylactic. The first episode was very traumatising, then there was a 4 year gap of complete remission before the second. The second wasn't a big deal and I didn't really cause any issues for anybody,but it was the same kind of experience internally. My girlfriend said she wouldn't have even known if I hadn't opened up about it. You sound lucid. Interacting with people and reality in general after leaving our "normal state" for a time is bound to not be as smooth, your mind is busy analysing what happend and where you stand. These experiences can be disorienting. Time feels like it goes quicker when you're not filling it with novel, memorable content. Just take it one day at a time and don't catastrophise about the future too much. It's not the end of the world and you aren't the only person in life to ever deviate from a conventional headspace. If it ever happens again, it won't be your first rodeo and you'll handle it better. Do things you enjoy and try to employ your sense of humour when thinking about it all, it doesn't have to be deadly serious all of the time. You'll probably find yourself more equipped to relate to and empathise with people who've been through similar experiences going forward too which is a plus.
  7. Call me out for being closed minded and making sweeping statements but the way I see it.. All of the mystical experiences reality has to offer amount to little more than thrilling distractions if they don't dent your apathy towards the plight of your brothers and sisters. Love is the path and mercy is the recognition of unity.
  8. It's going to be okay. When the mind is building a narrative it can interpret scenarios within the context of that narrative and colour them in a particular way. I recommend engaging in an activity that's stimulating enough that it'll give pause to your thoughts and doesn't contain content that you could misconstrue as menacing or threatening. Maybe a game? Like a simple platformer like Mario or some free mobile game? Just an idea. Hope you feel better soon.
  9. Nobody deserves to suffer Katie, yourself included. Never give credence to any story, beleif system or thought that would lead you to conclude otherwise. It's bullshit. Be patient with yourself,You've been through a LOT. Drop the expectations you place on yourself to perform in the world the way you used to be able to before all of this happend. You deserve so much kindness from yourself in light of your current circumstance that it would be criminal to withhold it from yourself. But be patient with yourself and don't judge yourself for struggling to do so. This world is unfair, but don't have to be.
  10. You deserve your own love. Don't let some jumped up diety boss you around y'know?
  11. Stand up for yourself. If nobody has your back, have your own back. Love yourself. ❤
  12. First time seeing what I could only describe as the void during meditation. As I was disappearing into it I felt a heaviness on my heart and felt fear, kinda felt like I was going to have a heart attack or something. It's kinda put me off meditation if I'm honest. 😅 Any advice?
  13. @trenton I think I'll try different types of meditation for now. But that abyss is very curiosity invoking. Sucks that I'm afraid of change. 🤔
  14. Find something new to love. I get it just comes across as some dumb airy fairy platitude that's insufficient in the face of everything that you listed but it's pivotal. It's not some cheap shitty balm you squirt on the gaping wound of infinite suffering and loneliness to help you cope a little easier despite it all. It's transformative. Tips the whole game on its head. Rooting for you always
  15. We hurt one another when we're unconscious of the consequences of our actions. I can forgive that. But if god is the wellspring of intelligence and love; the architect and orchestrator of the universe...why is there so much suffering caused by situations in which there is no apparent actor to be unconscious of the action. E.g. suffering caused by natural disasters. I hold a lot of resentment for god. Too scared to allow myself to see things clearer beyond this point. I guess I'm afraid that even the highest version of myself (which is still personify as another) isn't perfect and is just coping the best it can with the situation it finds itself in and makes plenty of mistakes at it's own expense. That it is really is dark. Just venting idk :(.
  16. @Breakingthewall @Nathan @JuliusCaesar @Leo Gura @cetus ❤
  17. I hope it doesn't have to come to that and I hope you're feeling okay now. I'm stubborn to a fault and have had to be dragged by life before because I refused to walk. Thank you for taking the time to listen. Whenever I reflect on all of the atrocities that have and will occur I'm able to identify with the victim of the atrocities but I rarely even consider the fact that I'm also the perpetrator. I paint perpetrators as others who just don't "get it" I need to sit with this. Thank you!
  18. There's an excerpt in Leo's video about wisdom in which judgement is deemed essentially out of touch and infantile, or that's the way I perceived it. I judge people that exploit animals for personal gain to the 9th degree to the point that I've had watershed moment arguments with relatives and loved ones about that topic of the exploitation of animals and have cut them out of my life. I struggle to let go of judgement, why do you think that is? Ideally with some emphasis on the subject matter?
  19. Massively appreciate this post and feel as though it's what I needed to read. Gonna work on unpacking this for the foreseeable, going to try to grapple with my reaction to this paradigm shift, forgive myself for my own reaction to all of this and forgive others, I recognise that people simply haven't been exposed to certain experiential states that I have regarding this and it's unfair to demonise people for a lack of understanding. I demonise myself for a lack of understanding too. Nobody has everything figured out. All my gratitude guys
  20. @Charlotte subconscious grudge,I'll meditate on forgiving pigeons for shitting on my head that one time.
  21. Somewhere you can observe animals is also good even if it's just pigeons.