Loreena

So next week I'm planning to start with my shadow work. But I need in depth and extensive material on it and the exact processes, techniques, methods, data and interpretation of that data, previous case studies and research papers. I tried searching the internet but got limited information which is not very varied, the same thing being repeated everywhere. Also I have a book on it but it doesn't contain details. So I would be highly obliged if anybody could post many links, books, videos, data, and study material on here. Also if you have the general outline of various techniques, please do post. Thanks in advance.

You're right about honesty. The ego is malformed without honesty. I have been looking into this for a while. It's a little tough in the beginning but all the effort in trying to be authentic is worth it. Took some time for this realization to sink in.

Thank you. Its very resourceful.

Maybe you are growing in a good direction. Its a good step. Judgement is bad. Because we tend to misunderstand a lot. Its your projection of someone's behavior.They may not be that way.

Infinity included in awareness .

Animals are highly aware creatures. Not to forget that we're animals too. . Animals sense feelings and even possess intuition or psychic abilities, example your pets. The only thing is that we can't effectively communicate with them. We can't communicate with them as well as we would like to but they do communicate very effectively within the same species. Intra species communication is very well developed through evolutionary mechanisms but there's a problem with interspecies communication. However this gets compensated by an effective signalling system that all species have developed to escape the predators. Are animals aware of their own presence ? Difficult to know. We can only speculate. There is no solid proof to show whether they are aware/unaware of their presence and consciousness. And it differs from one species to another.

@Henrik_Sahlen Courage and bravery are two great spiritual qualities admirable in an individual. You should and you must speak up and stand against injustice. It's all well and good when people like us, when we're popular, and we get along. It's a no-brainer, really, when things are going well, that courage is fairly irrelevant. It's when people don't like you, or judge you in a negative sense, that the choice of courage and cowardice can be a pivotal moment in your development, and the foundation of your self-esteem. So what does that mean, especially when applied to a tense and uncomfortable situation where people in some way disapprove of who you are? Emotional cowardice would dictate that we either break under the pressure and conform, or lash out at our perceived tormentors in rebellious and anti-social behavior. Emotional courage is the stepping foundation of a strong self-esteem. Not only it is healthy, but it is born out of empathy and compassion for others.

This seems closer to victim mentality. I am not sure though. I thought it was weaving stories out of nothing, assuming stuff and making something else up, spreading gossip and rumours, making mountain out of a molehill, being extra dramatic and overreacting to things out of deep seated emotional triggers. I am not sure how right I am in my assessment but that's what it feels like.

@Henrik_Sahlen Journaling your emotions in a book is a great way of releasing frustration. Do karate and brazilian jiu jitsu Go on hiking trips and sweat it out.. I guess for young guys it's important to spend their physical energy in some way to feel strong and sexual. Just speculating, I don't have much info on how a boy thinks. Going on long drives. I guess guys like it ! Don't be afraid to confront situations head on. Take them as a challenge. Read a lot. Helps men to get efficient. Cut down tv and videogames. Over stimulation can drain your energies. Keep your body in good shape. Huge plus point. Some guys think having a long or short beard is more masculine, but I disagree. I prefer a clean shaven look. Imo thats looks really masculine. Be competitive with other guys. But not aggressive. Aggression is a minus. Try not to feel insecure around other guys. Know that you are just as capable as them, if not more, so don't feel hyper aggressive or panicky nervous or shut around other men. Those tendencies reflect a malformed masculinity. An emotionally healthy Man with a good dose of masculinity doesn't feel charged around other men. In fact he feels super relaxed, calm, cool and comfortable knowing fully well that he can handle anything with grace and toughness. Don't get overly possessive, needy, attached. Big downer. Although being vulnerable is not a bad thing, you could express it in healthier ways like writing poems, playing guitar. This is actually the most difficult thing for men to do. They feel scared to express themselves freely, fearing someone would catch them in their weak moments. But at the same time, bottling up emotions is not healthy. So a guy needs to find his own sacred private space to open up without the fear or danger of scrutiny. It has to be a private journal, hobby, a separate space in your house only for you where nobody can bother you. Some boys can feel incomplete without their women. Its nice to be lovey dovey to your gf but deep down it reflects insecurity and fear. Know that you're always important and you are more than enough to feel complete. You don't need validation from a girl just like a girl doesn't need validation from a guy. Take care of your health. For any guy this should be their utmost priority given the circumstances in which men have to work and how over expectations from society can get them drained, fatigued and washed out. In the effort to try to prove their ability and masculinity and to stand up to society's challenges, a lot of men forget to care of themselves. They just lose their feminine caring side and turn into intensive workaholic robots. Understand that this is unfair for you as a man, its more about social pressures than masculinity and therefore learn to keep a balance between health and work. Be just as caring to yourself as you would like to be to your girlfriend. Be respectful to everyone even to those who are rude, contrary to popular belief that sometimes perceives kindness as a sign of weakness, respectful kind behavior is actually a sign of confidence and strength because it implies that you are not easily triggered or provoked. Which means a strong mind ! Right now I onlyy know so much. . If I have some more points I will add later.

@jimrichi. thanks

What are you implying ? Do you mean to say that one should just accept the current state of their ego ? And not do anything. What benefit does it have for the self ?

I think you made a mistake. Maybe you meant to say- If your ego is not strong, it is manageable , still you can drop , but it is more difficult than dropping a subtle ego. That's what you told me before.

@Seeker_of_truth https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/12391-what-constitutes-a-healthy-ego/ The following posts from my recent thread were found to be useful with respect to your post.

This was somewhat vague. What specific techniques have you used during your healing process. You could elaborate on different therapy methods, emotion management techniques or any specific meditation methods that helped you. Any other physical/psychological methods used. Please name them. Thanks. @jimrich what happened ???

I read about it. Difficult to comprehend though. But what I got is it means a state between duality of perception and non perception. Like if one is focused verry narrowly that one feels like they have escaped perception or entered emptiness but at the same time their focus is so broad that they are unable to identify or notice that they are experiencing emptiness. So they sorta dangle between and so its easy to confuse with real enlightenment. All I got.

What is that ?

@Esoteric Its incredibly narrow minded for him to say that given the well-known benefits of mindfulness. If you wish to know in detail you could refer to Jon Kabat Zinn. This guy has a lot to say on the subject. Just because somebody is regarded intelligent and superior in their field of work, doesn't automatically translate as perfection in every arena of life. There are blind spots to every teacher, guru, philosopher, academician. Its just shows that one should rational and objective thinking and factual study and not simply rely on the name or rank of an individual.

Happy for ya.

I was having some insights during my meditation yesterday and this thought came to mind. The trajectory of self development should start at an early stage in life. People come full circle, they go through a lot, they give into everything bad, they fall into traps and get involved with a lot of wrong things in life and finally they have enough profound realizations and they start sifting through all the ways of life, and start gaining a perspective. By this time, they're pretty old already and they have missed out on too much. They sometimes regret the naivety that caused them to lead astray in their youth. Therefore, it's important to start your Pd journey at an early stage in life, as early as in teenage years. Because it takes a long time to hone your skills and come to a level ground.

@Joseph Maynor I do agree with certain things you wrote. But too many mistakes could ruin a life. A balance needs to be struck. Also the pd journey itself is littered with its own twists and turns, confusions, realizations and experiences. Its not a sheltered approach always. But some grounding does help save a lot of trouble and reduces the risk of committing huge errors, mistakes that are sometimes irreparable or irredeemable.

I Btw it's a little difficult to quote you. Please try single quoting.

@SOULThat's ok. @Prabhaker Thanks.

Love is the driver that drives the world. Love makes the world go round. But love is not to be taken lightly. Because love is the only force that unites the world. When we're on our spiritual path, we realize that we have lower needs conditioned by society that we keep struggling to fulfill in a hamster on a wheel lifestyle. But as we grow, we begin to have higher needs based on unconditional love and compassion. Only that brings true peace and bliss !

I remember this video so well, this was a South Asian guy, forgot his name. This video touched me so deep. I wish everything in this world was made that simple. You sharing that video brought back memories.

@Revolutionary Think Yes I can definitely relate to it. I too come from a strict traditional religious family and I'm a freespirit and I don't like to be under a constant feeling of constraint. It's the stubbornness and generation gap that's a huge problem and for evey little thing I need to sit hours to convince them. There's just too much pressure to conform. I think the problem goes beyond impulsivity. Its also aggression on the internet that is escalating at a massive rate. Just potential aggressors everywhere you see. You want to say something. They take it out of context and cause unnecessary provocation. I call them aggressors. They aggravate and escalate every situation instead of logically solving the problem. What you call tribalism is what I call vertical peer pressure. It's like peer pressure which is kind of passed from top to bottom. A lot of elders don't think logically about the situation, because they are subconsciously trained to believe that life is static and you can see they're more interested in fulfilling lower needs vs higher needs. This is a big problem I face in my family. I try to convince them that I have higher needs of spirituality,consciousness and actualization but they get angry because for them, survival is the highest goal so they don't understand my needs.