Psychonaut

@InsidesOut It doesn't seem like people do yopo often. Do yourself a favour and get the pure powder version of meow. It really isn't that hard and it is far more predictable in dosages.

@InsidesOut here https://erowid.org/chemicals/5meo_dmt/5meo_dmt_dose.shtml I started with 25mg, anything below 20mg is kinda pointless IMHO.

DMT, 150mg insufflated [~2 hours] 16.10 This is the second time I have taken DMT, but the first time was only 50mg to test and apparently it was far too little. Leading up: I hadn't gone out partying for quite a while. The previous day I went to a HipHop club. Sadly my friends bailed out on me and I ended up going alone. I did have fun. I do get quite lost when dancing and it seems like I don't give a shit about anyone around me anymore. Maybe that's why I ended up just dancing and going home after an hour. The next day: I'm bored and horny. I'm thinking if it's a good idea to reward myself for "failing" the previous night. It's early afternoon and I don't know what to do. I still have some weed which is my goto drug to masturbate on, but it's not enough to have a "great" time. I recall that I still had about 150mg DMT left. Enough for 1 strong trip if I insufflate it. I kinda want to try masturbating on DMT and hope that it's as good as I imagine it to be. I have had a fleshlight for a couple of years and it has been my goto toy to masturbate with. Especially on psychedelics and weed you can easily convince/trick your mind into believing it's real. Often not completely real but I can get pretty close. Because your senses are heightened so much it feels insanely good and is very satisfying. I look at the 150mg DMT thinking this is way too much powder. How is this ever going to fit in my nose? It ends up in my nose, doesn't hurt terribly but my nose is running. The nose will be sore through the trip and takes a day to fully recover. I have some of my regular trance tripping mixes running in the background. https://youtu.be/K4NGOwgLSNc I queue up some live sex webcams and am going at it with my FL. After a few minutes I can feel the DMT kicking in. It feels very overwhelming, feelings are increased by several dimensions. As the effect increase I start loosing my erection. This has never happened to me on a psychedelic. I have to consciously make the effort to engage again. All of a sudden I'm really repulsed by what I'm doing. I feel extremely dirty and at the same time turned on by the depravity of my actions. There is a point were things suddenly become real. Like as if I switch from watching a porno to being in the porno. It feels like I'm really inside of a woman. I have to repress the urge to vomit and I orgasm. Have you ever really wanted to vomit while orgasming? It is really really weird. I have to lie down in bed otherwise I'll have to vomit and I really don't want to. Once in bed I hardly move and become pretty convinced that I will have to vomit. I close my eyes. I get some cool visuals. I'm flying through space with stars and pretty lights. I'm still so high from the orgasm. I'm overwhelmed by the flood of sensations and the intensely strong feeling of just being. My mind is boggled and can't grasp what is happening. Heart beat is very high and at some point I can't really feel it anymore. I kinda want it to stop. I get up and go to the bath room in case I need to puke. Standing in front of the mirror I'm dancing. It doesn't feel like I am dancing, more like I'm just observing. At some stage I get lost, I'm not in my bath room anymore. I'm in a different room I don't know. The mirror remains there though. I have forgotten that I have taken DMT. I can feel that I'm high, but I have forgotten why. This is very weird and disorientating. It is most likely because I decided to take DMT and took it 10 minutes afterwards. It wasn't planned and I didn't know what had happened. Somehow I got back and I'm standing in my bathroom again. While I'm in the bathroom 3 things happen that I will never forget. 1.) I look in the mirror while I'm still dancing. Because I don't really control the dancing it seems to me like I'm a robot. A robot that is just acting out commands, not really in control. But then I start to consciously pause during dancing. I realize I am control. The person in the mirror seems to be telling me to not do that. Don't let "them" know that you "think" that you are alive. 2.) Then it hits me like a rock. I'm alive! How did I forget? I'm looking down at my hands in awe as I move them. At this point I feel like someone is going to come in through the door saying something like "Welcome! Why did it take you so long? I'm glad you finally made it. We've been waiting and wanna go home now." It feels like I have beaten the system. Everything is silent and I'm just starring in the mirror in disbelief and shaking my head. I'm alive and I don't know why. It makes no sense, my mind cannot understand it. I will never forget this epiphany of having discovered myself. This is the most beautiful experience I have ever had in my entire life. 3.) I'm still in disbelief and trying to understand what is going on. Suddenly everything stops. My point of view zooms out like in a computer animation. There is a wireframe over everything. It seems as if it is one. Everything has stopped and I see myself in my bathroom and my body is connected with everything. It's like time has stopped. Like you have stopped a movie and there is no motion. It makes my existence even more impossible. My mind has gone into assuming that I have gone insane. It doesn't know what to do. It is completely useless. It is trying to solve the problem and can't. Nevertheless I'm still alive and it's great. I go back to my room and lie in bed. At this stage I can feel that something is happening in my brain and I'm strating to come back. It is not as clear as on meow were I can observe it. It's mushier. I can't really tell what is happening. After a while I get up to get something and realize I'm back at baseline. Conclusion: For you this is a story. For me this was real. By far my most profound experience. I'm pretty confident to say that regular DMT is going to produce some profound/mystical experience if taken in high dosage. Regular DMT is far less predictable than meow. In the future I might explore mixing regular DMT with meow. I think that has more potential than both alone.

I have experimented with nofap for about a year. The longest streak I was able to sustain was about 7 weeks. Fapping less has made me appreciate being horny. Just the feeling of being turned on by women and in general being on edge. There is a reason why I believe that lots of people struggle with nofap or in general with masturbating. Its the compulsive urge to satisfy a desire as soon as it arises. When masturbating the desire for orgasming can basically be satisfied instantly. The stage of being horny and desire for sex is skipped. Nofap is useful for people that have no self control, like me a year ago. It can teach you to develop self control and become a stronger man. Enjoy the feeling of being a man, being horny and wanting to fuck every girl and the world. However one should be careful that one doesn't guilt oneself into it. Don't deny your sexuality or feel bad for being a man. Don't let them beat you down and make you feel bad for being born as a man. I'm at a stage now were I still masturbate occasionally, the maximum being 3 times a week. Sometimes I don't do it for 1-2 weeks without any bad feelings or issues. The less you do it the more enjoyable it is when you do. I come from about 3-5 times a day a year ago so this is a big improvement. Sexuality is an interesting example of the dynamics of desire and satisfying desire, emptiness of satisfying desires if you overdo it. I encourage you to investigate into the seemingly "hardwired" desire for sex and ponder on "the root of all suffering is desire". Peace out.

Guys wait. I'm going to the store to get some caramel popcorn.

I watch them and think about them for the remainder of the day. I don't feel like his videos represent absolute truth so there is no need to study them. I see Leos videos mostly as an impulse/motivation to think about a topic I haven't thought about before.

@Azrael How likely do you think that 5meo can produce an even bigger spritual ego donger? I mean if you take all these beautiful concepts into your trip will they just be kind of confirmed? I don't want to become delusional and believe that I am God and tell everyone about it. I certainly have had some weird experiences on my endevaours on psychedelics. But I usually don't take the shit from those states that seriously though it might take some days to come back. I used to like acid but now I feel like the 20 hour trips were I only fall asleep at 10 the next morning are just too much for the body. Acid was certainly a wonderful tool to cut through a lot of the bullshit, but I feel like it has passed it's peek of usefullness - at least for me. I still get something out of it, but I have to sacrifice a full weekend. I wonder if 5meo is a good tool to cut through the last bits of bullshit floating around in the mind.

@Orange Where is the "skill" of being aware supposed to come from? How are you supposed to be aware with all this crazyness going on everywhere if you never trained to do it? Meditation is training awareness and it's highly effective training. Normal everyday life ain't a good trainer. It's more like the complete opposite. It trains unawareness. You don't have to meditate for very long. I often just meditate 20 minutes and then sometimes I close my eyes for a couple of minutes when I get the opportunity and call it meditation. Just get in the flow and sit on a chair for a couple of minutes. Ez pz.

You are setting the stage for enlightenment to happen. Meditation is not a requirement for enlightenment, but that is not a valid reason to slack and not do it. You want to raise the possibility for enlightenment to occur and meditation will do that.

I should also start making videos so people pay attention to what I say and talk about. It just random neurons firing in my brain that somehow turned into atoms vibrating in the air which turned to more neurons firing in someone elses brain and through some kind of a miracle gained some value in the process. No need to pay any attention to it.

Be aware of the possibility of loosing consciousness if the dose is too high. You won't even notice if you have surrended or not lol.

Who cares about the orange stage. That stage is laughable. It's hollow there is no connection to what is important here. If everyone is in this stage we are going to destroy the planet and erase the whole human race. I'm not saying that is a bad thing. If we can't advance through these destructive stages fast enough till the coin lands and we are on the wrong side then that is how it is going to be. There is no point in trying to use the spiral dynamics model to advance through it as an individual. The model was meant for larger groups of people, for society as a whole. Its about we we we we not me me me me.

My best friends which are both Indians are into this. I sometimes talk to them about it.

I'm a lazy fuck. This sounds like the perfect solution to me. I'm hyped for this.

Ha Neeeeeeeeeerd lol

I experienced Satan. It was frightening and beautiful at the same time. For a split second there was blood running down the walls and I could gape down into the dungeons of hell. I felt like I merged with Satan and I was the beginning and the end of all existence. It felt so good to be finally freed from my weak mortal existence. Sadly I have gone back to my frail ego existence and I'm stuck with trolling on internet forums to gain self worth.

#dicksoutforharambe

@abrakamowse Stop believing that I believe in any words I say. It might be just random happenings of typenings of letterings with no meanings.

I am. Suck it.

I don't believe in science.

Is there a correlation between how much you think and how much you remember? I feel like my mind has become more lightweight, less thoughts arising and also less things remembered. I wonder if memory is just thoughts repeating itself. If the thought is not repeated again it is forgotten.

@flhugoboss I be fucking hoes in Pattaya every 2nd weekend and haven't had sex where I haven't payed. Anything wrong with me. Not that I can see. Everything okay. Game is for people who don't have money to pay for hoes. They need to always try to get it for free.

I have no idea how to read any of these maps. They seem pretty bollocks to me.

Maybe one day I will forget myself.

I like playing video games for self actualisation.