heisenburger

I can help valach Remember there is only self sabotage because a subconscious part of you wants it. We don't just sabotage for fun or no reason, there is a reason that benefits you. A good way to clear it up is to ask this squeezing a lemon question. imagine never being able to date a girl again, what's the advantage that comes up? Just make something up even if it's stupid for example maybe it's something like "I would never have to worry about embarrassing myself in front of them". Keep going until nothing comes up. You can also ask "Imagine if you had to date girls all the time whats the disadvantage". Keep going. This is something you can do whenever you have a spare minute driving in the car or something and eventually the subconscious disadvantage comes up, than you can ask if you want to let go of it or keep it if maybe you like having it there. Here's an example of what was happening with me. One advantage to not being able to date again that came up if I imagined it happening was "I can't get in trouble". It seemed kind of strange but then I traced it back to this. When I was five years old in primary school I was talking to a girl, this was the stage where all the boys are like "eww girls" and 'Girls have cooties" you know that whole thing when you are a kid. So my brother saw me doing this and said "I'm going to tell our parents you were talking to a girl", this created the subconscious belief that talking to girls is bad from a young age, and that I'd be breaking the rule doing it. From than on whenever I liked a girl i'd act distant and kind of ignore her try extra hard to make her think I don't like her. Just an example of how this exercise can work. But remember only do it if you want to, sometimes we actually prefer self sabotage.

@Leo Gurado you meditate with a meditation audio like holosync? Do you think it's better to meditate with no audio or with an audio?

@Growf you can try byron katies the work. To uncover your subconcious thoughts ask what am I most ashamed of. Than use the work on it. http://thework.com/en/do-work

I would read ask and it is given by esther and jerry hicks instead.

This videos one of my favorites from way back around three years ago.

@Anakin read I need your love is that true by byron katie read the way of the superior man easy solutions.

@Sevi haha

@Leo Gura How satisfied and happy are you daily? After nearly a decade of personal development what wellbeing has it gained you how good do you feel on a daily basis? Asking for my own motivation to self actualize!

Reminds me of shutter island.

@Parki its because theres a huge stigma against psychedelics. So its rare to be able to get them and telling people to take it makes you lose credibility for some people because people think its bad to recommend psychedelics based on what they learned in school.

Yeah I just saw this too! Leo should do more interviews too, I hardly see him on videos other than actualized.org

@The White Belt yes read the big leap by gay hendricks

Best advice is keep going! So man you people start YouTube than stop after a year as it's growing slowly, not knowing that they could have made it if they kept going, subscriber growth may look like this. year 1 500 subscribers year 2 1000 subscribers year 3 5000 subscribers year 4 25000 subscribers year 5 80000 subscribers. notice how it goes exponentially. As long as you're having fun and doing your best your going to have a good outcome from your channel, just keep going!

@kieranperez the best way to win at purpose is to enjoy the training so much that even if you didn't get any recognition or money from it you'd still do it. If you could never be famous form running would you still do it? If not maybe consider finding a different passion. Try letting go of the wanting approval for being a famous runner and see if you'd still do it. Maybe it isn't really your goal. The work towards purpose should be a reward. Also there's no point beating yourself up. Has beating yourself up and disapproving of yourself helped your situation? Have you ever disapproved your way out of a problem? Likely not! And since you're the one disapproving of yourself you can stop at any time. Also remember it's ok to feel uncertain at 22. You're doing fine honestly, don't worry about it. It's easy to feel like everyone around you knows what they're doing and you're the only one that doesn't but trust me that isn't true. Seriously at your age everyone is as confused and uncertain as you may feel, don't worry about it so much, you've got so much time to work all this out, you can even relax a bit and take some more time to figure things out. I recommend finding a self help book on whatever issue you're facing. If you're feeling depressed read a good book about mastering emotions (I reccomend Byron Katies book loving what is), or maybe one about finance. Reading a book can change your state as your exposed to the voice of someone in a more certain state than you and it can lift you up from apathy or grief however you're feeling.

Hi. So I need to build skills around a purpose for a couple of years until I'm good enough to make a living of my life purpose. But how do I make money until that point? If I had to work a normal 9-5 job to make money and than do the skill building thing after coming home from work I just wouldn't do the skill building because I'd be too tired. How do I focus on building skills when I'm not yet good enough to be paid while building those skills?

No

@alyra https://www.amazon.com/Sedona-Method-Happiness-Emotional-Well-Being/dp/0971933413 Or the YouTube channel

@alyra yes I can solve this entirely! Seriously I have an exact way to solve this for you perfectly I just took a course on this. Here's how: If if you don't do an action there's a subconscious attachment or aversion to it. Do this process it will make you take the right action automatically and it will be fun. I did this on excercise I was like uhhh I don't want to do it but after this process I did it easily as easy as it was to sit and do nothing. 1: ask what is an attachment I have to doing ____ 2: Ask does that attachment come from wanting approval control or security? 3: Ask Since I don't have the approval control or security I want anyway could I let go of wanting it just for a second? ( note: if your mind tricks you into saying if I don't want it I can't have it don't believe it. if you let go of wanting it you'll have it, you can't want something and have it at the same time and you can only have and not want or want and not have, let go of wanting the deeper want and you can have it, you'll start to take action towards it) 4: Ask what is an aversion I have to doing ____ 5: Ask does that aversion come from wanting approval control or security? 6: ask since I don't have the think want that is fueling my aversion anyway could I let go just for a second if wanting it so I can have it? Repeat 1-6 until you are completely fine whether or not you take the action and the action will automatically be done. Heres an example dialogue I did on myself. My problem was not doing visualisation to make myself funnier. 1: my attachment to visualisation is if I visualise humor it will make me funnier. 2: that attachment comes from wanting approval because I want to be funny to get approval. 3: I could let go of wanting approval because I don't have it now anyway, so why not let go of wanting approval 4: An aversion I have to visualisation is I don't want to do it it feels like work I'd rather watch YouTube or listen to music instead I feel lazy. 5: this aversion comes from wanting control, because I want to change that I'm not visualising so my humor can change and I can benefit from visualisation. 6: I could let go of wanting control because I don't have it anyway, right now I'm just sitting there not don't what I want so there's no point wanting control I already don't have it. Once I let go of just these two aversions since I didn't want to control that I visualised there was no resistance and I stopped YouTube and started doing it automatically, also letting go of wanting approval for being funny meant I no lover cared whether people don't laugh at my jokes so I now tell jokes more and thus am funnier since I don't hold back my humor. See how it works? Let go of all atachments and aversions to what you want and the best possible outcome will come out. Do this process on the action you have and it will automatically be easy for you to do what you want. SERIOUSLY I HIGHLY RECCOMED DOING THIS, if you ignore this excercise you've maybe just given up maybe your only opportunity to make this effortless, and will have to brute force it. If you feel like after reading this 'that's nice but I don't want to do this excercise' it means there's an aversion to it, maybe you expect the excercise will be boring which comes from wanting to control how you feel by doing something fun. This can be fun, seriously give it a try You can ask me any questions about it also :)?

A gift for you @Marks199 Use on anxiety.

Does anyone know if a book that can improve my happiness right now. I'm not interested in theory of happiness, would love s book with practical tools to feel better, so far I've read the Sedona method which I found to e extremely helpful. Any one have any other books with techniques or something I can use?

@The White Belt you can read the big leap by gay Hendricks to completely solve this problem If you want to.

I've read the majority of books in Leo's book list and am looking for more methods on dealing with emotions if anyone knows any.

@kieranperez I had the same problem! it sounds like you are nervous. This normally comes from expecting something to happen, what images do you have? Maybe you see yourself stumbling no over words or saying a joke and having laughter or having the girl dissaprove of you, maybe you're just scared of the feeling of fear or of being uncomfortable. Maybe you're worried about being scared and losing your thoughts or running out of things to say. Try this to release fears, this video can completely release your fears so you feel as comfortable talking to girls as you would be talking to your mother or a close friend. I know because I used it on myself. If the video doesn't work just do the fear video again but do it on the memeory of this not working and it will solve itself. If you don't think it's fear that's stopping you reply and We can try help you find the reason why you are stuck.

@ZX_man yes! If you're feeling depressed anyway right now why not surrender to it. If you've been resisting it already you'll notice it hasn't changed so just ask could I let it be here? Notice how no matter how much you resist it and want it gone it still stays, so if it's gonna be here anyway you can at least give yourself permission to feel t right? Even if you just allow it for 30 seconds that can go a very long way in disolving the emotion. Also when surrending make sure to surrender to everything. If you surrender and I feeling disappears normally there will r another feeling that come so up, if you surrender and think it isn't gone yet justness surrender to that, surrender to the wanting it fixed, just let yourself want to fix it think 'it's ok to wanting to change it I'll let myself want to change it a day much as I do' if you than think maybe this isn't working just surrender to that as well, just keep surrendering to the feelings and you can't lose. If your mind outsmarts you and makes you resist your feelings which is what's keepi you stuck, just surrender to your mind tricking you its impossible for you to do this wrong

@Mondsee just wiggle your fingers or try squeeze your face this wakes me up from sleep paralysis 95% of times. If it's not at least you're awareness you're in sleep paralysis so you can just allow it. Try see what fun stuff hallucinations nightmarish visions your mind comes up with!