George Fil

Perspective Needed I am 34, living in Amsterdam NL, work in Finance field and I took the life purpose course almost 4 years ago, because working in Finance was not fulfilling. My LP result '' teaching ethical business fundamentals to youngsters'' didn't do the work for me, as was not even motivating enough to get me rolling, after 3 start ups and close to burnout, I really don't even want to hear about business anymore actually. I thought that LP was wrong, not because the material was bad, but because of me, as I thought I didn't do much ''soul searching'' as I answered the obvious questions of the LP based on my work and life capabilities. Actions that I did after my LP course to find it : I tried to to the LP for second time, and failed miserably as I can not trust myself responses anymore, as I am biased. Then I proceed with therapy for 2 years, learned a shit ton about myself, but still couldn't figure out the LP as tangible one phrase item. I then tried to go through Leo's booklist and read the L. Purpose related books, again not much, as you understand questions like ''what do you enjoy doing, that time flies when you do it?'' to a person who is manager in a start up tech fast pace environment, doesn't do the work, here time flies for even things I hate doing. Then I experimented for passion with few other interests for a couple of months: like poetry blogging and stand up comedy, again nothing that I felt that was it. I did psych trip with truffles, enquiring with my greater self for my LP, he said ''nothing matters'', which I understand from spiritual way but didn't do the work in a pragmatic way. I even decided to go with the flow and let it find me for 1 year, again nothing happened, except I started getting in touch with playing music again as hobby. I even paid for the strength tests of Gallup & high5, to validate my strength points, but with no purpose & big picture, are useless. My lifestyle: I do cardio twice per week, I meditate daily. My diet is vegetarian. I trip in psychedelics occasionally. My hobbies now: Playing bass psych rock genre with some friends. Current emotional state: Recovering from nihilism I fell the last year, in process to create my own meaning. I am not blaming anyone or the product for me being lost, I made a promise to myself to find it, I just feel paralysed and dissapointed that in my 34 years could not still to figure it out. Do i do something wrong? Even when I hear Leo in the video mentioning the LP, I feel so guilty & useless that I failed to do so.

@Leo Gura I get what you are saying Leo, but I am thinking Cal Newport's ''so good they cant ignore you'' as I become craftsman on Finance modeling and accounting the last 10 years, my career capital is significant & satisfaction will get better as I get even better. At least now, I've started applying for jobs in non profit organizations that I can use my skills to empower the ones in need, not to make another rich fucker, richer. The passion of music (bass guitar) will take years but I can keep it on side until I am semi pro in my late 30's. (Thinking out loud)

@Thought Art About the time, is freaking me out too. If Harrari is right on the ''21 lessons for the 21st century'' then we need to face that the simple jobs that you master in short time will be eliminated in the next decades. That probably will increase any career transition timeline by years. So the scenario will go like this, you will have tech complex jobs that you need years of study, as for simple tasks side hustles like ''uber drive'' and ''pizza delivery'' will get automated. So there would not be any short term solution for simple task work. Then lets hope Universal Basic income will come for the rescue, cause the issue of technology + climate change will through billions of ''non specialized labor workers'' out of the window.

Thank you @Leo Gura@Space@Thought Art for the input. I am doing a retrospection on what went wrong as Leo suggested and I think it boils down to be too ethical/logical, and not going with the gut. Is like dismissing the ambitious charming ideas for more pragmatic ones, I am like ''ofcourse I want to help unprivileged youngsters with business education'' but on the other hand, it bores me to death reading advanced financial business models again. My LP, feels like a shallow morality helping the ''kids'' because is generally accepted as good thing, like a Christian that goes to church because is supposed ''good thing to do'' but not because of his personal choice. Is like I put too much weight on how society will judge my decision, really got outplayed by my subconscious sneaky ''blue stage'' upbringing. Will focus on creating some music for now, as an experiment, as I get good vibes from that, although thinking myself as artist is so absurd for my ''ego'' to grasp it.

So this happened yesterday again and i thought to post it. 2 times per Month almost, i wake up in the middle of the night and my mind goes crazy seeing numbers running like matrix code inside my mindscreen. I try to concetrate on my breathe to sleep again but my monkey mind is in lead and the random numbers symbols continue.I have to go and have a glass of water or something because i am in tense and i could not sleep for a while, when this happens. I tried to find patterns what could trigger this. I noticed that sometimes it occurs when i meditate just before sleep, but i am not sure if this could be the case. I also work in Finance industry and deal with numbers all day but this happens the last 4 months that i heat up my meditation practice. Has here anyone experienced the same? If yes is there something you did to eliminate these ''mini'' seizures? Thanks!

Awesome video, just a note that might be helpful and seems contradictory with with what has been said in the video, from the book the Righteous mind by Jonathan Haidt, by comparison of data between questionnaires of leftists and rightwing voters, he provides the results that Right wing people are more aware of the Left people's mindset and ideals, they just do not agree with them. However Left wing people, although considered more open minded fail to understand right wing and overestimate the conservatism of right wing, in their minds. That being said..... leftists are more solid in their opinions and fail to understand the Right wing to the core, when right wingers are far more aware but they strongly disagree.

Hi Actualizers, just wanted to share what i have notice the last 3 weeks and what i have witnessed when i eliminated my meditation practice. I used to do 2 years daily for 15-40 minutes. When my schedule became so heavy i had to quit a few days then i notice a change in my behavior that i have not seen in years. I have became so playful and my social interaction issues and my cynical attitude was gone. I still meditate, but every two or three days now. I am still trying to understand what happened but i believe that as an introvert meditation pushed me deeper into my thoughts and inner world. So deep that i hardly could enjoy the company of people. After i stopped meditation, my conversations with people run smoothly, not second thoughts or any hesitation. I laugh and I am so playfull that i had invitation to go for beers and events, that i did not have in years. I am not saying is good or bad or that i am going to stop my meditation routine. I am just saying what i am observing without being sure whats going on. Anyone had similar effects or noticed that meditation make him less sociable and creative?

One of the most interesting things I have seen in a while. Peterson seems unable to grasp fully the collective responsibility and the complexity of society structure comparing to Zizek. Always see Peterson as a bright man debating easily Journalists and students, but seems he does not compare to the deepness of Zizek in politics and deep thinking. I like how Zizek talks about false meaning and Japanese enlightenment propaganda they used in the past as an example. Any of you guys seen it? What are your thoughts about it.

@Leo Gura Leo: "In order to step up from a spiral dynamics stage, it would be beneficial to check the material of upper stage thinkers." *Me as green stage, watching Zizek- Peterson debate, who are Yellow stage thinkers" Leo:

@Ar_Senses Same here, i thought that i was copy cat leo, i even get certified in coaching then when i have my own clients, i decided to give up on this, cause something was did not fit well. Then i did my LP and it was about business development. My strengths are far away than of a life coach. I am a INTJ and biggest strength the conscientiousness. Although i have tons of respect from Leo i saw that we are not the same at all, i disagree in many aspects of what he is saying cause i learned from pain that other things work from me. You seem like a peoples person and theoretical. Why not HR or learning & development ? Companies need good HR now to shift from orange to green and the HR professionals here in Amsterdam are in high demand.

Their car, their house, what their children do, gossip, fashion, their and political opinions (actually saying what their dad is saying). And do not make me start with the travel hype thing, so overrated. I am not an introverted special snowflake. I have friends and we have very good communication. But now that I moved to another country and I am trying to make new ones or chat with my colleagues, i find them extremely basic and boring. And I am living in Amsterdam, one of the most alive Green cities in Europe. I can see that not connecting with people makes me sad in a way. I can not even express fully myself in my colleagues. The other day said that travel hype is overrated and an escape to your problems, they were shocked. I was not trying to insult them, it is just what I believe. It feels like sabotaging myself and seems that I am missing something.

''Speak the truth even when your voice shakes'' Stay true my friends

@Cudin Awesome thanks for your perspective. Of course, truth hurts and makes people uncomfortable. If you said that there are vegans who are pretentious Instagram junkies in my face, like a lot people have, I would laugh, maybe even agree to an extent. On the other hand there are so many people telling truths and people are ok with that, people that made careers and helped the world being a better place. Should check those guys more carefully.

@bejapuskas Of course I am not the center of the universe, i am nobody, but this does not mean i am going to weasel my intentions, i will stand for my right to not supporting unconscious actions with respect to others. This takes courage. Actually, there are lot of people who give a sh*t about me, but do not worry about me, if you do not like what we are discussing here, you can just go and rage somewhere else.

@CudinI understand what you are saying, but that is not the case, cause I do not do it for my health, my purpose is to boycott the animal farming industry, ethical reasons. In the end, if this diet also makes me feel good, which happens to be the case here, it is even better. Pescatarian diet far more healthy, but i do not do it. So why distort my sayings when the reality is that I do not want to support the animal farming? I am not saying they are evil, I am not saying meat eaters are bad people. I even go to burgers with them and I order salad ffs. I say that i prefer not to support them, that is my attitude in life. Is this point fingering blaming? If this offensive, then we have forget the basics.

@ajasatya Please, there has nothing to do with complaining. This forum gives voice to people express their concerns in this journey path. It is healthy that we have different views and we do not agree in some points. I am not mad at them, today we had good laughs in the lunch, but the issue of connection is always there. As for the person that criticized me, of course he didn't go online to a forum, for the simple reason that he is not meat eater by option, he can not support his choices cause they are not conscious. He is meat eater cause he has social conditioned himself to be part of mass and he has never questioned that, he works in ''default'' mode.

@Cudin It is a good idea and i am actually implementing it, but with little results. When you are that kind of person, people feel insecure, cause they feel guilty they do not take action themselves deep down. For example, once they asked me why i was not eating meat and i said I was vegan back then, i said i do not have problem with people eating meat, i just do not want to support the animal farming industry. Instead of the beginning of an interesting conversation, They just lost their minds... and instead of being curious they focused with so many excuses how they could not do it and it is boring salad lifestyle.

Said best by Carlin. As a comedian he is pretty ''Yellow'' to me.

@Brittany Is not this something egocentric or disrespectful for the other person? ''I do not really hear what you say, I am hear to guide the conversation to entertain myself'' It is about encouraging the other person expressing himself. Now the issue is that most people talk about the same things, most of them an active person has done years ago. It is like talking to a vegan about meat and sausages...He had a lot of them in the past and he does not care anymore, he has moved on.

@Nahm I know right?I find them boring, by being blind to the ''magic" of their materialistic agenda. If only i could tap into their godlike level conversations about Netflix and chill. So much work to do, before i can even grasp, the significance of their sayings.

@DrewNows Who said i do not find joy in the simple things? Careful with the conclusions. Just because i am not interested what soccermoms have to say in the work, does not mean I am disconnect from being. As for the 0 expectations, I agree and I do not have expectations anymore, from my experience most people sleepwalking either way.

@ajasatya What happened to me was a massive trauma that woke me up for good, and from then I step up to self actualization. I am not saying people in a negative way boring and I am not suggesting I am the correct one. I am saying they are boring as definition of not sparkling my interest, repetitive same stories all over again. Most of them say the same things over and over, they are so predictable that I have no interest in them, not that i disrespect them or saying to offend them. I am writing here cause I want to LOVE them and CONNECT with them, but i cant. I tried the chacra of heart clearing, meditation daily of course, I am trying to pretend that i am interested sometimes just to have a hope with them, but does not work either. Maybe I have to accept that I find them extremely predictable but not in negative meaning and let go, i do not know anymore...

@ajasatya Same here, I am not saying that you are a ''forum guru'' , I do not know you, I say that you act like it. I was not a monk you know, i have done the same things, it is just that I have an actual interest of whats going on this world we live in and I am not interested in their egocentric agendas. For me life, is something more than that. And how the ''not forgiven old me'' is related to other peoples, stories about their night outs and their boring trips to Paris? For the record -> Advanced being = Consciously Developed Human Being

@ajasatya I am expressing myself politely and we have a conversation with other members about my views, that may be wrong and may be right. I am here to learn. Acting like a ''forum guru'' judging so easily from two lines response, does not seem an act of an advanced being either.