puporing

I don't think it's all that different whether one prioritizes physical attractiveness or 'character attractiveness'... I mean it is all a kind of selection process that is supposed to maximize your own survival needs. People generally don't date to maximize the other person's survival needs (it's more rare and takes two highly conscious people). If you like someone for who they are (physical or nonphysical) there's nothing wrong with showing them affection.. what else is there to do?!?

@Someone here Yep and yep.. unless the State will also compensate a woman for forcing her to have a kid she don't want, give her the option to give the kid up to foster care (also not great for the kid?) or whatever alternative caretaking options, it is an intrusion to women's rights, their lives and body. But even compensation is cringe worthy because ultimately you're taking away choice/freedom. Ultimately it conveys that an unborn fetus has more rights than an adult. In a more optimal world there would probably be both resources to take care of "unwanted" kids collectively, and giving people the choice not to have them and this includes better access to "near perfect" birth control methods in addition to abortion. Some people are genuinely scared that the human race will die out due to abortions and the use of birth control.

@PepperBlossoms I mean, I would try to limit/exit an interaction with someone that consistently does that. Like, what's the point? Don't try to make yourself fit into their way of things, it clearly isn't serving you. It just turns toxic and that's no longer helpful but harming your growth process.

@Sigitas LoL I guess if you're already on it (wasn't reading your post right) and not experiencing much side effects it should be okay... I'd prob keep going with it then.

Sorry I wasn't being too clear.. my panic attacks were already removed through therapy, as well as dreams that had similar dynamics. However, I notice there was still some lingering fear in my awareness(though much reduced at this point already). Which while I was on 5-meo it got completely removed and showed me that total peace and serenity is possible, and that my lingering fear was contributed by my attachment to my past and that it was a 'story' and not what I am... and post-trip I continued to experience the reduction in fear compared to pre. Dosage is hard to say coz I could only get vape pens for it right now, but it was in the medium dose range, was just the one trip.

@Ones Keep going lol you're on the right track... you're going after truths that cannot be suppressed/repressed. It's true very few 'trained therapists' even get what you're going through because they haven't themselves.

@Sigitas If that's what you're starting with then I would say it's bit too high.. depends on the person obviously but I wouldn't start at such a high dosage. It's meant to gradually increase to those kinds of doses (and one Leo is on), he's probably done many many rounds to get to that dose. Could always try a lower dose and see how the side effects go for you and go from there.

Not a sustainable situation, it should motivate you to double down on something that does speak to you and make the switch as soon as you possibly can. That also could mean you work more hours to get the cash you need for that next thing you do want to work on.

Could try staying there for awhile and see what comes up ..no need to force something. Maybe an insight will come to you along the lines of: I am free to create/be as I choose. Something will eventually call your attention in this space of emptiness/vastness.

From personal experience I am still interested in what I started you could say partially as a result of my past (music as a form of philosophy, way of being/expression, etc). I would say the change is mostly that I no longer use it as much in terms of healing from the trauma as I used to, which freed me up a bunch to explore even more aspects/tonalities and instruments for example. Also it is shifted to more about going outward than inward at this point.. like it being a gift to others than to myself. Ultimately I would say it is still tied to my past because it is what brought me here in the first place. And if I one day completely lose interest in it there must be a good reason for it so I don't think you should worry too much about that.

@catcat69123 That makes sense it would repeat yeah. Mine was around fear which caused panic attacks.. My therapist helped me reframe the situations that popped up in my dreams, it was a mix of focused breathing at crucial moments in the dream and recontextualization (eg, I was embarking on some kind of fun adventure when suddenly a sinister parent-like figure shows up and stops me from going further and derails my 'adventure').. he basically helped me zoom in on those moments and see that they had no power over me, and that I had the ability to make them go away in the dream context (through breath work). Since then I was able to confront my parents in my dreams (and in real life) which were big steps considering I was in so much fear. I don't know if I would've known how to do that on my own, happy to refer you to him if you'd like though he's a bit expensive. Also 5-meo helped too more recently. Even though I already knew everything in my past is a story, the substance helped reaffirm this, that my past has no power over me and is just a story I am running/identified with in this human form and I can drop it.

Some kind of spiritual connection. Extremely rare to come across though.

@Someone here For me what removed it pretty much permanently so far was working through it with a therapist.. mine was induced by my parents and interactions with them due to my upbringing. In particular, dream analysis where the source of it kept showing up and the therapist intervening with the repeated dynamic in a safe space. I don't know, I very much needed a strong/protective, healthy parental figure to help me get out of that fear cycle maybe there are other ways though.

@Matt23 LoL sorry to hear.. maybe he's just stressed someone might take a dangerous dose after viewing his video... it could be life-threatening... It's good you're cross checking, and glad it makes sense now!

vape pens are all I could find for 5-meo for now... the search continues.

One thing to try is to leave more gaps/spaciousness in your speech, pauses along with eye contact. When one goes on and on about something it tends to come off as more logical.

@blankisomeone Duuuuude, I was in your shoes 7 years ago. And I'm still here now. Yes, it was a great big struggle you could say, and very lonely because almost nobody understands what you went through regarding your family of origin, but loving and reasonable people are out there sprinkled around in the universe, including some of the ones responding to you right now. You can make it. Move away from your parents, move away to another city. Do not let them guilt you about moving away (they will probably try). You have a lot of trauma to then heal from. This healing process does not happen overnight, it takes years of seeking various therapists, self-therapy, reading books, finding advocates (I recommend Daniel Mackler who you may resonate with, Gabor Mate, and the movie Shine to you). Meanwhile, face the practical challenges of life. Yes, you may have to work some shitty jobs to get by at first. But things will get better if you can separate yourself first from your family of origin. I'm so sorry you deserved better parents all and all. Please talk to a distress line person, they're there for you if you need to vent and feel heard.

You could try letting go of the need to fall asleep and just embrace whatever state you're in if this is an option. There's nothing inherently wrong with not sleeping 'enough hours' if your body isn't demanding it. Exercising/exerting yourself certainly could tire you out more. Melatonin, reducing screen time close to bedtime could help somewhat.

Noo that is so far out haha. I don't know about bodyweight calculation.. it really doesn't need to be so precise like that unless you're not average weight. You start on a low-ish dose eg 25mg DMSA and/or 25mg ALA every 3 hours (if you take them together that is, or every 4 hrs if just DMSA). So for me since the bottles are 90 pills I just do 30 pills worth of both per round (that works out to be 30 * 3 hrs = 90 hrs or 3 days + 18hrs). It's okay to do 3-4 days doesn't have to be exactly 3 days. So really the cost is 1/3 of each bottle every round (like roughly 2 * $10 = $20 USD for both DMSA and ALA). Seems like the body weight thing is confusing you, I would get the "Mercury Detoxification Manual" if you're not sure but it's pretty simple math. Hope that clarifies things. Please don't take such large quantities! PS, Feel free to dm me if you have more specific questions.

@Matt23 Just wanted to update that I had not experienced side effects after the 2nd round on 50mg DMSA/25mg ALA.

I think it's just about showing that you care/what you're trying to attract, and that you have a good sense of self-identity which is attractive.

I dig what you're sayin'.

I don't know, we have some pretty hardcore protesting going on now. But at least in my province, things are going to be lifted soon even mask mandates. My guess is government can't afford to have a bunch of sick people on 'free' healthcare, so a more conservative approach makes sense.

Oh, might be a tourism thing, pretty lucky still.

@Leo Gura I don't get how Vegas can be so lax about Covid restrictions, ooof, it's been 2 years of lockdown and semi-lockdown up north .