puporing

I don't know, if I do it again it'll be a much smaller dose (less than 5mg), that was some hell and I don't wish it on anyone. The question of whether or not I would've just passed out or died well, at the time it felt like I could stop breathing if I didn't fight to stay conscious, whether or not it was actually shutting my body down I don't know. I didn't get a sitter or anything. And my feet were very cold after the trip.. I can't say much about it yet, but the other thing I felt was as I was coming down from it (ie my awareness coming back), it didn't give me the deep contemplative experience/being in the godhead I had with mushrooms, it just felt "flat", and still restricted my body movements quite a bit, but I can't say how it'll work on a lower dose. Why did I take 15mg? I thought it was a medium dose, that was my carelessness without knowing how sensitive I would be, I should've just taken 5mg to start.

Thanks @Inliytened1 ?.

LOL intense is an understatement. I've had some very intense trips. This one almost killed me for real. Thanks though.

@Raptorsin7 Oh yeah I get it. There were some discussions related to that before if it's what I'm thinking. It's kinda tricky to balance oversight and giving people more autonomy.

Ahahaha ? The only trouble I see with those testimonials is that it's prob a lot of ex-lovers who thought they could get with Teal or something (which is also not great and why she doesn't learn to not make those things part of her work I have no idea).. I mean there's gotta be truth in there too but you know, it gets tained by that at least to some extent, but prob mostly accurate stuff I would think.

Why? I mean I get the "letting go" thing, but there's actually a lot of "co-learning" going on in this forum.

Great stuff thanks for sharing! I'm glad you're seeing the fruits of your labor!

It's not an issue at all, everyone had to go through their first time.

@Vincent S That's a very loving take . It would be wonderful if she discovered these other ways of self-healing too that might allow for more independence from her followers, but sometimes that's just not where someone's at or had the chance to find out.

I don't know why but the "mental health field" seems to attract this. I've known some therapists like this as well, it might seem like they're helping you but in the end it can feel like they're just using you to feed their ego and to get money from you. They do good work sometimes, but when it comes time to let the person go, some have trouble doing so and tend to perpetuate the relationship needlessly. It makes me think alot of these "healer" types are actually trying to heal themselves through their clients. The ones who can help and not be attached to their clients (whether it's emotionally or financially) are somewhat rare.

This 100%.

I also think it would be hard to demand exclusivity for such a kind of arrangement, or it would make it a bit imbalanced. Basically you'd have to develop yourself to a point where jealousy is minimal and also the ability to be okay if things "don't work out" (ie, more chaos so to speak). Maybe you just want a guy who doesn't want marriage and children so that's not quite the same thing as the above. There are plenty of guys also who are okay just being bf/gf that doesn't lead to marriage, maybe older guys are more open to this. And better yet, just enjoy any relationships that come to you as a bonus to your life and not a need. I don't know, it's something that can take time and experience to figure out.

Just start doing it, ask questions, find answers, ask some more. For most people they're okay to just keep things to themselves. But sometimes you find some stuff that is not being talked about, and it makes you want to share it, or not! I think what you're really asking is perhaps how to make this your full time, paying "career". Well, that's gonna require your creativity .

@Preety_India It's harder with hyper-masculine types, even though they can be alluring, they're often the most possessive and strict about things like marriage, strict monogamy, children, and "ownership" (that's actually alot out of someone if you think about it, unless that's all lining up with what the woman wants too, basically asking someone to give up their life for them). Just sharing bit of my experience with that, so you might not get your "ideal" so to speak but there are definitely guys out there who might be open to giving you some sovereignty.

Oh that's good to hear you have that option. Sounds like you're well on your way then.

That's something you have to cultivate (ie, lead), coz most people will default to something they know/have known. And for that to happen also it has to seem fair too, so be reasonable about what you are asking from them too. Then there's short-term dating if you can mentally handle it.

LOL was thinking about psychosis (which can be calmed down with a sedative), but seems like in this case it's manageable and she's not outright panicking. Forgot to check the obvious, check for anything else she might've been taking around that time that can have a synergetic effect.

1) Emergency Room (if it doesn't get better). 2) Also since I keep reading about your gf on this forum, does she know that you post about her here? (ie did you get her consent? coz some of the stuff you post are very private).

That can be tough, it's like you can see things clearer, not a bad thing. Is it convenient? Maybe not. My experience with that is just you have to sort through more people to find ones that are more loving and supportive, quality over quantity. Consider moving to another country if you have to (if it's not working out where you are). Some places are more tolerant than others no doubt. So it depends on what you can put up with and desire in life. Some places it's almost impossible to do the kind of business you want for example because the environment is not trust worthy.

LOL that was one of the realizations on my first psychedelic trip, after I've exhausted psychotherapy/self-healing.

It's maybe something you want to pursue for awhile and fill your cup so to speak, and fully see its limitations (and the good) while you're at it, which dissolves much of the neediness about it. Going meta as much as you can helps too (like having more awakenings).

Being around someone at mostly "Green" can feel like walking on egg shells, there can be alot of morality, and judgement based on the morality adopted. They can be friend to you one day and think you're the devil reincarnate next day ... Meanwhile there seem to also be alot of internal suffering from enforcing this set of "moral codes" that can often go against their intrinsic needs/desires. Being around them is also a good way to assess how much of it is still left in you.

Will do! Guessing you had it backed up somewhere so it wasn't more loss. I noticed it was a different error than before so was bit worried there.

Sorry you had to deal with that. Glad that it is back on!

LOL seems like bunch of stuff got wiped yeah.