Nahm

@Nadosa No self no problem. This is what led me to think you could use some help... “Also, this all has consequences on my self-esteem, I often feel worthless because I just dont feel like there is a self worth living. And yeah, I do live somehow, but most of the time I am just utterly miserable and I dont need to hide that fact. You know what bothers me is...that I feel like I will never be at peace with myaelf or be happy with myself...my happiness is relied on outer influences...they keep me alive which is bad.” Or some yoga, breath work, psychedelics maybe? Something to get a little “out of your head”. The doubles you’re experiencing, imo, are in trying to conceptualie what can’t be conceptualized. You have to let it all go to embody it.

@Nadosa To put it in some framework / model, you’re trying to start at the top of Maslow’s pyramid and go into nonduality. Start at the bottom instead. Get the foundation in place. Look into counseling / therapy. Check your diet and physical well being. When you come back to this pursuit it will be from a much healthier perspective.

Believing in an ego doesn’t make the duality of life and death actual.

@Anton Rogachevski ♥️....(cont’d lol)....In the simplest sense - can you, visually speaking, with your eyeballs, see your thoughts?

@Jack Walter Leon Shelf determinism for a bit, and look into potentiality, spontaneity. Appreciate both perspectives to loosen up the duality. To hear one does not suffer, or there is no evil, or that the enlightened one has no mother, will not make sense through the lens of thinking. Someone who says such things would likely appear to you as thoughtless. Can you see this would be your idea of “thoughtless”, not what it is to be thoughtless. Nothing, is similar in the sense you have an idea of “nothing”, but that is an idea, it is not nothing. The self discovery of the actuality of these, or “going full circle”, is quite literally the adventure of a lifetime. The difficulty is that 99.99% of the population does not know of this adventure. That’s ok though. Only one needs to know, and you are the one.

@Alex bAlex There are some great people in this community getting into life coaching. Maybe consider starting there. Even one session could be very eye opening. @Emerald @aurum There is also The Life Purpose Course btw. A change in perspective from “what I am supposed to do”, to “what I want to do” might help. It can also be very eye opening, in terms of figuring out what you want to do, to write down a list of what you’ve learned you don’t want. Writing this down allows a ‘bird’s eye view’, a clarity arises which often doesn’t while it’s ‘all in your head’.

@Mu_ Very insightful to SD’s. Much appreciated.

@Fairy The why question is at the level of reason, and is only answerable at the level of reason. Prior to reason, the self is known. Not like information is known, more like a loving & trustworthy friend is known. Perhaps the allusion of the second coming, is for you.

In addition to what’s been said and the resources posted here, a perspective... The average person is not going to take a hero’s dose, due to fear. Practices can certainly ‘get you’ to nondual realization, like Fred Flintstone’s car technically got him from point a to point b.

@cetus56 That is really kind man. Thank you. Truth is simply everywhere, no? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fvEZUbzqqyM

@Anton Rogachevski This is a deep place you’re going to. Nice. How about the thought that anyone else is thinking. The thought “my body”. And if you really wanna get crazy, identify every thought you’ve ever had about God, see what’s left. Also...a call back to that other thread, about putting experience in order (the filters) - It pairs with this one. An example might be that you can think about what you are visually seeing, but you can not visually see thinking. (Unidirectional)

@Matt23 Excellent idea.

@Cortex good call.

@Seb G Sweet. Sounds like there might be a perspective that loves comes from relationships, which would be very understandable. Self inquiry is the way to go. Also, this meditation might be useful. This stuff can get a little silly, but maybe it works because at our deepest, we’re not really so serious. https://sites.google.com/site/psychospiritualtools/Home/meditation-practices/lovingkindness

@Seb G Sounds like the body’s meridians, the same mysterious energy / electricity which beats the heart can heal you, and others as well. I have heard a few times of it first sensed as tingling in the arms and back. Keep practicing, and let it in. Palms tingling too? For the chest, maybe watch a short, very sappy video. See if it triggers that chest tightening. Sounds like you’re doing great, and welcome to the forum.

@cetus56 Thank you! @ZZZZ It’s infectious❣️

@cetus56 Just gotta let it pour out. What else can we do really? Solo retreats, maybe psych’s, creative activities, med, yoga, the usual suspects can ‘open the gates’. Open up for you, so to speak, and not sure how this sounds, but, though one “opens up” alone, everyone opens up with you. You probably know that already. At the same time, all nondual roads lead to helping others. Mystical indeed. All there is is truth, and everyone is the one, acting like they aren’t. The veil is so thin. I try to act “more normal”, but then the thought of ‘ acting normal’ can trigger abnormal laughter, socially anyways. What can we do? Lol That “body hit”, I know very well. Takes your breath away, literally. Drops ya to the floor. Just listening to someone is great. Solo nature retreats are great. More recently, I basically sat in a recliner and cried, barfed up emotion, was washed with mourning & the love over and over, at some points it was semi-exorcism-ish, for 3 -4 days. Ya might have 3-4 days of something along those lines comin, hard to say. ?But ya, “take what may come” always fits. Reminds me of, “If you wanna make God laugh, just show em your plans”. More practically speaking, my orange life is done and gone, and I’m keeping the business plates in the air while beginning, and starting from nothing, a new “career”. I’ll spend the rest of the days helping anyone and everyone interested in finding their brownie. Awwwww sob! Now it got me again!? ? edit: Really over answered there. Sorry. Thanks for asking btw.

@Antonius Awesome. ?♥️

@SoonHei ??♥️

@cetus56 ??I hear ya man! ?♥️ I like the “last brownie” analogy...we seek alone...we discover alone...we find it alone....and it’s so delicious, we’re like “everybody’s gotta taste this”!!!!! @ZZZZ ??♥️?

Finite mind is infinite experiencing self as other than infinite self. Like when you wake up in the morning and see everyone (“finites”) in your dream was actually you, the dreamer (infinite). Whoever was in the dream, the time it took place in, the environment it took place in, whatever transpired, the entirety of that dream “reality”, was all actually, you, dreaming it. This is hard to see while asleep and dreaming, but quite effortlessly seen when you wake up in the morning, and then within a few minutes, just as effortlessly forgotten. In the dream of reality, there is also the appearance of body / minds. To the sleeper, the appearance of things is taken at face value, as reality. The infinite one (you) identifies with the body/mind, fully forgetting it’s infinitude, the actuality of it’s self / actual reality (you). So unbeknownst to the finite mind, the ‘awareness’ of it, you, are also the ‘time’ it is taking place, the ‘environment’ in which it is taking place, and whatever it is which appears to be ‘taking place’. The implication of this forgetting is that you are a body / mind, separate, and temporary. The dream of reality is not at a loss for convincibility, employing “past”, “present”, “future”, “the now”, “evolution”, “Big Bang”, even breathing, etc. To perpetuate this, the finite mind perceives dualistically, or, a series of choices in perspective between this way and that way. This way, or, that way choice is reactional, based on having identified with preferences, and believing in the past. (Picture dominos) The benefit of realizing this, is seeing you can look at things; situations, people, objects, experiences, etc, etc, in infinite ways. That you don’t need to identify with preferences, and you don’t need to choose between two ways, or, the reactional opposite of a view expressed by someone else. When infinite perfection forgets itself to experience finite, that finite can not appear perfect, or there would be no experience of finite. (You already know it was all you) This state of “having forgot” is referred to as “original sin”, again, not a judgment, but the inherent nature of what is perfect & whole, appearing as other than perfect & whole. Reaction in dualistic view, specifically in opposite, or in opposition, perpetuates the state of “forgot” (suffering), and is referred to as advocating for “the devil” (falsity of the finite mind), of which, there actually isn’t. So it would initially seem as a paradox; you simply can not trust the finite mind, and you can most definitly trust the infinite mind. The first must be realized to be illusionary to “remember” the other. ”Only a sleeper considers it real. Then death comes like dawn, and you wake up laughing at what you thought was your grief”. -Rumi

Wonderful report. I feel like I totally get you. Very happy for you with the realizations, and with where you’re headed. This one (above), I hope I’m not imposing, but, it would be difficult to find a “particular descriptor” or to express nondual self to “another person” who is experiencing body consciousness. Just a thought for you. Thanks again for sharing, much appreciated, like a breath of fresh air. ♥️

@Ampresus Inquiring until you begin to realize you have an idea of Allah, would be perfectly humbling. It would clear up this falsity of “Allah is high, humans are low - so I don’t know myself or how I fit in”.

You’d have to keep going. ‘Run’ that through the next filter.

@Roman Edouard All very devil’s advocate of you. Well done.