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@ShugendoRa Learning an instrument helps, meditation helps, practicing concentrating helps . Also consider how you’re framing up what it is you want to focus on, how does it fit into the biggest picture for your life - how worthwhile is it really to you, how excited are you about the direction / trajectory you’re on by accomplishing this. For example, someone can focus for 10 hrs straight on call of duty, and damn near master it / rank very high, but not focus for 10 minutes to learn how to use Microsoft Office. Patience is a natural part of focus. You can practice patience by not talking for days when not absolutely necessary. Substances can help or hinder, you’d have to try them. Things like coffee or pills can slow one person down enough to improve concentration, and yet speed another person up making it harder to stay focused.

@EvilAngel Limited to the usage of words, but, you forget your self and situation so you can experience. It’s very very funny to remember. Worth all the work. Worth a lifetime of work. Lol. (Again, words like forget & remember are not even pointers. The “remembering” is like a new experience in addition to & prior to thinking, etc, a one of a kind thing you wouldn’t even know ‘you’ do until it ‘happens’)

Let go of the thoughts about other people’s thoughts about loneliness. That’s taxing, energy-wise. Go directly to the bodily sensation. That’s what loneliness is. Go to it directly and see what it is. Learn & understand it. Find the I which experiences it.

@Ampresus Men say woman are inferior to men, yet must cover themselves because men can be seduced too easily. Men say woman need to fully censor themselves, yet men say woman are regarded as holy. When you see and understand what’s really at play behind those inherently conflicting perspectives, it’ll be out of your head for good. When you inquire within yourself, into the heart of being, what do you find? Part of you relates to each ‘side’ of those conflicting views. What parts of you? Then, what’s the truth in Ampresus, how are the ‘parts’ actually whole? What perspective arises from that?

@Cepzeu ? Just maybe for the record though, “survival” is not how I’d go about the ‘three cup game’ of life. It’s a dream, so I’d suggest there is alignment & unification and therefore peace of mind & joy, in attending to life as such. Dream big, and then dream bigger. Dream so big you could never accomplish it. Uncondition “done” from the mind. The juice is always in the now, the journey.

@Wisebaxter Sounds like you’re at a “barrier” of sorts, and it is a new frontier for ya which is awesome. Overall essentially, you are going backwards, or, given you are the all that is being ‘Wisebaxter ‘- you are going the other, counter intuitive counter logical direction. It’s not natural relative to how you’ve experienced life thus far, but past ‘the barrier’, it’s totally natural. When you “stop” at the barrier and have attention on the thoughts there is confusion, like static half way between two radio stations. The thing to do is keep going. How? Dedicate a half hour to this meditation, and maybe let us know how it goes. Sit w back straight as usual, get comfy and balanced as far as not leaning, say to yourself ‘this is relax time, just for me, my favorite part of my day’. Then do these: (Approx 10 mins) Keep returning attention to stomach breathing. It’s fine if attention goes to thoughts. When you notice this, return attention to stomach breathing. (Approx 10 mins) Keep relaxing, via the “relax” or “let go” signal, from the crown of your head - until you feel the muscles there release. Then the eyesockets, until you feel the muscles there release, then your cheek muscles, jaw muscles, neck muscles, shoulders, arms, chest, upper back, stomach, lower back, hips, upper legs, knees, lower legs, ankles, then any remaining tension - visualize / feel it going out of your feet through the toes. Do this over and over. At first you might have to send the relax signal a few times to a muscles until you feel the muscle release. After a few days or so, you’ll feel the release the first time you send the signal, and then more and more release with each time you send the signal to each muscle. The key here is send signal until you feel each particular muscle release. (Approx 10 mins) If you haven’t moved (because you got relaxed and balanced first) then at this point, 20 minutes in, you should be feeling your entire body much less. Not numb, not euphoric, but somewhere in that ballpark. Now, the nature of thoughts arrising is likely thoughts which are beneficial to you; maybe an insight, maybe the answer to something you’ve been wondering about, maybe an inspiration to do something you’ve wanted to do but haven’t been, etc. Here’s the thing - let each thought go, even though they’re “good” and enjoyable, let each one go, and return to stomach breath focus, and relaxing over and over head to toe. You will reach a point that I’ll refer to as the infinite mind, or the emptiness, the peace, (words, words, words) But paradoxically and counter intuitively you reach this deeper you, infinite self, through relaxing your entire body away & surrendering all thoughts. Then, the questions and thoughts just start to be “answered” by being. (Not answered in the common sense). Hopefully attention on stomach breathing while relaxing your body head to toes over and over “answers’ your question about what to do with the mind. Again, in the sense I don’t think you’ll have that question any more.

@Serotoninluv So sly. ?

Yap, just sittin, talkin to God, bored.

Could you elaborate on the two poles?

@Serotoninluv Nice.

@Serotoninluv “Whack-em-whole”? Meh. Too monomolecular.

@Manjushri What have you done, what are you doing for yourself? Your threads are a long list of self loathing without doing anything. This is not what the forum is for. Without taking some action, no matter how small, the forum is really just enabling you. Take this as a wake up call: you want to be a part of this, then BE a part of it. What is one thing you can do, today, for yourself?

@Manjushri How many times do you need to be told to go to the dr’s and do what they say? 4 more? 17? Give us a number. We’ll do it. Cause we love you. Just to love.

@OrpheusNovum Honesty. Focus in the direction you actually want, instead of using a past to limit your vision. Make a list of what you’ve done to heal yourself, to discipline yourself, to love yourself. Then make it longer.

What your missing is nothing. Life is quite boring without it. It’s right there, beneath the judgements, and the thinking that something is needed, wanting to be understood, communication, suspicion of sabotage, “missing something”, and even falsities like “it is just what I believe”. Journal?

That “me” slipped in there is the reaction. That there is a you separate from ‘getting cancer or losing a loved one”, is an idea. Hanging on to that idea is what suffering is. Cause what happens if one thing at a time, one faculty at a time, every thing is lost? If that keeps up, there’ll be nothing! So, a) Lifetime of avoidance & suffering. b) Experience nothing, so you know nothing, rather than knowing an idea of “me”, and an idea of nothing. @Paul92

@Cepzeu Looking for the Truth in relativity, is like playing the three cups and a peanut game, until you start to realize there’s no peanut.

@Anton Rogachevski A solid foundation from meditation is helpful there. Still rough, but it helps.

No, did for decades though. You’re having dreams in your sleep, and referring to them as dreams, because you haven’t realized all there is is dream. Your dream brain is trying to reconcile this, in a dream within a dream.

...yet.

@Etherial Cat Do you guys take time to communicate, and if so what prevents the continuation of it through to some resolution (which could then naturally result in great sex). Also, what would he say about you, about this?

That’s hilarious! Awesome report man. I’m a fan of the solo rental retreats too.

@Etherial Cat What is that something?

@Etherial Cat Is his watching porn why you don’t express / let go of the past influencing on the present? Or maybe am I missing that he was part of the trauma....? Or is he not trust worthy / doesn’t care about your well being / makes you feel uncomfortable?

@Emerald Anybody else in these scenario’s & fantasy’s?