Nahm

@Nathan leigh It is all very confusing. What are your most immediate wants / needs?

You’re actually doing great. Just feel it, embrace it all. I know that sounds backwards, but can you see that the labels of notoriety you mentioned are all ultimately hollow? I think you can see that. You want an extraordinary life? - do what no one does - embrace the entirety of your experience, all of you. Don’t shun or avoid any thoughts or sensations. Experience all of it. Observe those ‘old ways coming back’. What’s happening there, what starts it, what are the triggers, is there a sense of urgency to avoid it, to change it, etc. Write down what you’re finding, how you’re feeling, etc. Cry, cry, cry. Love can wash it all out. You just have to let go and allow it. Life is giving you enlightenment on a silver platter here. I know, like, how dare I say that. But I can absolutely guarantee you that if you just experience what is, whatever that is, you will enlighten, and you will shed tears everyday for the rest of your life as you wonder how you ever missed such beauty, uniqueness, goodness, and love. (I’m talking about you). I see it. Plain as day, from a pic and a few words. You will see it too. Life is giving you the perfect opportunity. It can not be any other way, the human condition is the most reliable situation possible. This is a great opportunity to truly discover and know yourself. Be brave, be patient. The wrapping may appear unfamiliar, but the present you have always known. Hang in there. Truly, we are all there with you. “Only in solitude do we find ourselves; and in finding ourselves, we find in ourselves all our brothers in solitude.” – Miguel de Unamuno “We must become so alone, so utterly alone, that we withdraw into our innermost self. It is a way of bitter suffering. But then our solitude is overcome, we are no longer alone, for we find that our innermost self is the spirit, that it is God, the indivisible. And suddenly we find ourselves in the midst of the world, yet undisturbed by its multiplicity, for our innermost soul we know ourselves to be one with all being.” – Hermann Hesse “If you learn to really sit with loneliness and embrace it for the gift that it is…an opportunity to get to know YOU, to learn how strong you really are, to depend on no one but YOU for your happiness…you will realize that a little loneliness goes a LONG way in creating a richer, deeper, more vibrant and colorful YOU.” – Mandy Hale “At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with one’s lost self.” – Brendan Behan “Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.” – Henry Rollins “Be a loner. That gives you time to wonder, to search for the truth. Have holy curiosity. Make your life worth living.” – Albert Einstein “It is better to be lonely than allow people who are not going anywhere keep you from your destiny.” – Joel Osteen “If you are alone, you belong entirely to yourself. If you are accompanied by even one companion, you belong only half to yourself or even less in proportion to the thoughtlessness of his conduct, and if you have more than one companion, you will fall more deeply into the same plight.” – Leonardo da Vinci ... ALL of us are there with you. We’re all in this together.

@peanutspathtotruth Thanks. No, I haven’t heard of it. Just sat and barfed for a few days, then it was pretty clear. ??? Aside front the pen & paper, It was pretty much a few days of Do Nothing practice. Really something what the mind throws out to get us to do just about anything for really any reason. It try’s every angle. Get’s all personal about it. Lol. So sneaky.

@Mu_ Thank you ??♥️

@David Hammond Thanks for the response. It’s always interesting to hear the many ways one can ‘get there’. ??

Ha! Cowbell jinx!

@Serotoninluv ?? Overall my suggestion is to go downward. As a model, physically speaking, consider you’re experiencing at the eyeballs & ears ‘level’. When you see & hear things do you take that upwards into thinking/reactional, or downwards into the heart/responsiveness. Are you thinking about the experience, or feeling the experience. I don’t know if “stopping the thoughts” in a direct actionable sense is really possible. I do know that with enough focusing on breathing from the stomach, the thoughts will eventually just give up, and stop altogether. Imagine Will Ferrel (per the snl skit) just absolutely rockin that cowbell, but you aren’t paying him attention - your attention is on breathing from your stomach. Will’s not going to like the lack of attention. He’s gonna pummel that poor cowbell right next to you face. But you keep the attention to breathing from your stomach. It is fine with you, what Will Ferrell does. After a while, Will just gives up, surrenders. The thoughts will put up one hell of a convincing fight such as this, as to be taken seriously. Your past, your future, responsibility, pressure, regrets, guilt, etc - thought is shameless with it’s resources and more cleaver than you will ever be. Thought can not be “beat”. Only surrendered. Pay Will no attention. Feel the breath, the peace in the simplicity and stillness of the subtle, gentle, relaxing inward & outward calming reassurance of the stomach. After some practice, you will be without overthinking, without self doubt, and will literally not even fear the reaper. When that cowbell is knocking right in your ear, if it is just too overwhelming, know what to do, ahead of time. Knowing what to do minimizes the troubles. Break from the meditation and grab a pen and paper, and just write down whatever barfs up; how you’re feeling, what the sensations feel like, write out apologies, write out forgivenesses, write about yourself, write about how you want to be feeling about yourself. Write like it’s your last day on earth, and no one will ever read it. It’s very important to do the pen & paper practice, as this allows your mind to literally see & gain understanding about what is going on below, in the body / emotions / sensations. A rough approximation, but I believe the conjunction of these two practices would more than cut the amount of time needed to arrive at an emptied mind in half. Then self inquire, and if that gets overwhelming emotionally, then go to the pen & paper practice, and barf it all up. Understand it, effortlessly, simple by seeing it (and the willingness to do the practices). If the emotions are not understood, the thoughts will continue - seeking. Or worse, they’ll subside, but creep right back up. That can be very frustrating - hence the unresolved involvement of the emotions (frustration). This is why the emotions must be undertood by the mind. To get off that hamster wheel, and each of us have our own self created unique hamster wheel. To be in the jazz band, so to speak. Noteworthy..(?)....the entire genre of jazz arose, from a mistake. If that’s not revealing of the undeniable Beauty, I don’t know what is. Oh wait, I do, it’s this gut in the tight v-neck... Christopher Walken plays one hell of an Ego, he’s just “gotta have more cowbell!!!”. How does he (and we) keep such straight faces, when it’s all so damn funny?

@David Hammond Which psychedelics have you done? What doses?

@MsNobody What are you looking for with this retreat to bring into your life? Ex..deep relaxation / letting go / emptying / clearing some emotions....or maybe to spark up passion / creativity / lively-ness / neural networks?

@Swagala Awesome!

@billytblack Beautiful! You and the report. Thank you for sharing.

@mandyjw You also are perfect as you are. It’s not your fault. You know. You know All is well.

@OrpheusNovum https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=47ElVv3RG2M Nah. Use it like a tool.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=47ElVv3RG2M

When someone looks in the mirror and says or thinks “I need to be thinner”.....here’s what’s usually going on, and what makes overeating appear to be a tough issue.... Elia looks in the mirror and says........ ”I need to be thinner” There’s literally, actually, completely, positively - not a single thing wrong with you. That is the Truth. You are perfect, exactly the way you are, right now. The important, life changing difference to consider and become more & more aware of is - You are not that body. When you look at the body and identify with it as “me” or “I”, and say “I need to be thinner” - it feels terrible. You think that the sensation of “feels terrible” is because of the weight. But it’s not. Your body is infinite intelligence, infinite love. The sensation of “feels terrible” is the response of infinite love & intelligence saying “You are perfect, just as you are. You can continue to think that way about yourself,- you’re free to do that - but it will never feel good, because it is not true.” The truth is, you’re perfect. You’re just identified with the body. Clearly, you’re aware of the body. Therefore, you can not simply be the body. Because, you are what is aware of it. You are the awareness. Infinite, perfect, limitless, awareness. If you attempt (in thinking) to reduce yourself to anything less, because it is not true, it will not feel good. Eat better if you want to. Go for walks, and or exercise if you want to. Lose weight if you want to. But, know, you’re perfect exactly how you are. Understand your relationship with the sugar addiction. Negative thought about yourself.....feels terrible because the response to that thought from your infinite self is “nope, that thought is not true”. In having misunderstood your sensations (feelings / emotions) you sought out a way to feel better, sugar. The great, great news is - awareness alone is curative. There’ll be some frustration, there’ll be some moments of letting go, of tears and release. But simply being willing to become aware of this, will cure it. You’re perfect as you are. Allow your body and your perspective of it - allow it the infinite love. You absolutely deserve it. As you become willing to become aware of these thoughts-against-myself patterns, be loving & patient with yourself. No beating up, no guilting yourself, no rehashing. It might take a while for the pattern to change, to really discover that you can trust your sensations....have faith that it will work, know that it will. Utilize your own power of conviction. Do not think it, do not believe it, know it. Listen to your sensations, understand them. They are rooted in a love that will blow your mind Elia.

@LoveandPurpose Spill the beans ❣️ You have significant resistant thinking going on. Desire is naturally guiding, thoughts & perspectives in self doubt are ‘pushing back’. This is internally very exhausting. It’s like driving somewhere, then putting the car in reverse, then driving forward, then reverse....over and over. Got some things to let go of. This is a good place for that. What is it you desire? and can you express the resistant thinking? When & who does this resistant thinking trace back to? When did it start? What’s it really about / what perspective about yourself needs to be let go of / loved right out of you?

This is what monkey mind, mental masturbation, overthinking is. You want to know these truths, but you’re not doing the work. You’re attempting to bypass personal development & consciousness work altogether. When you start doing the work, the theme of loving yourself and others starts to become clear. Everything is already fine as it is. The work to be done is you shedding beliefs by letting go of this need to always be “right”. You can do this. Go be with the girl. Share how you’re feeling. Let go & be vulnerable. Let Big Love flush this nonsense out of you with healing, love and tears. It’s ok to leave conceptual town, (over thinking all this), and just love her Paul. Stop holding Love in contempt. Talk to your dad today. Be open and share how you’re really feeling. Most of us have been there, and I bet he has too. Open up, allow yourself to feel and express your emotions. Things that will bring immediate relief: Reiki A massage Time in nature Skype with me ? Writing about how you’re feeling, so your eyes can see it and you mind can understand it more clearly. Have a beer with a friend, the girl, a family member, etc - and laugh about stuff. Lighten up. Watch Billy Elliot, & The Hurricane, & What Dreams May Come. Read The Six Pillars Of Self Esteem, & Ask And It Is Given, & Loving What Is. Do something selfless, help someone with anything.

@CreamCat Nice. Science sure is turning that all important corner. Exciting.

@Anton_Pierre The body is infinite intelligence. The finite mind only thinks otherwise.

@Cocolove Dreams relate to suppression of desire due to self doubt patterns of thought. Ultimately dreams are pointing to nonduality and the dreamlike nature of reality - in terms of our mental acceptance or nonacceptance. What we are not yet willing to be aware of about ourselves gets categorized by thinking as ‘unconscious’. But it’s more like ‘what we are unwilling to be conscious of’. Trips are not like dreams. Trips are like a dose of Truth to the “unconscious” we created with fear / self doubt. Psychedelics push you into what you’ve been suppressing, and ideally, straight through it. There is a very linear predictable theme to not only trips, but the reemergence / recreation of the ego afterwards.

@mandyjw Absolutely. My kids have always been my masters.

@mandyjw right in the feels! Love you too

Because Mario is The Truth.