Nahm

There is no direct experience of death, being born, being reborn, afterlife, or randomness. These are limiting beliefs, essentially veiling the living and realizing of the actual perfectIon of life, now. Also just maybe consider, you’re using the word nothingness as if it was something more than your idea of nothingness. Everything you want is wanted because you think you will feel better in the having of it. I’d at least consider the reversal of your paradigm, and consider the fruits of self discovery are far greater than ideals. If a thousand years seclusion with your perfect partner, in a world void of suffering, pollution, etc, were a better life, a better reality, you can bet that’s what there’d be. Consider, you might be missing a higher perfection, a deliciousness, which is right in front of you, a miracle to be revealed. The perfection of the imperfections. Life passes quickly indeed. Not fully living via a holdout for ‘the perfect life’ could be costly & regrettable. Letting go, leads to creating the life you want. Holding out for the ‘getting of the life you want’ - as a contingency for letting go, almost ensures life long suffering.

It sounds a bit like the patterns & repetitions return for lack of proper foundation & inspection of the recreation. Such a gap in consciousness in your relationships, at such a young age, combined with writing off the self inspection as ‘spirituality stuff’ (where the understanding & compassion would come from) could make for a rougher than necessary ride. Time is relative, there’s ample time for the practices and survival. They work ideally hand in hand. I wouldn’t use time as a write off to procrastinate. Also though, for all I now, maybe understanding & awareness of self & in your relationships won’t be important to you. I might be projecting. Just a cautionary tale from meetings with some guys your age who went pretty deep pretty young on the psych’s end, without foundations in theory and recognizing the value of self awareness. Consider the reverse paradigm, the challenge of humbling down, realizing compassion via self inspection.

@krockerman You’re aiming really low.

Sure, but while your’re still alive is the best of both worlds.

For sure. What is the process though?

@dimitri Hard to say much without any context around it. Write down the duality, paradigm, and or paradox, and contemplate it. The clarity will arise, they all collapse.

@saffron Been there. Manic depression, call of duty (my drug of choice was der reise), eating stuff I thought was food, battling the parental, etc. Really wished I had someone to talk to, who made it out. If you wanna just talk man, let me know. It can all get better. @ajasatya ok, officially developing a crush on you. ?? ?

@ActualizedDavid Is that a selection from the autobiography of Captain Marvel?

What is the “amount of concentration” to realize the suppression of sensations has sent one on the wildest of goose chases. Pede-stalling with the teachings of teachers’ teachings. See reference; The Wizard of Oz.

What are you referring to with “That was said” ? Can you post the video here?

What is “spirituality stuff” to you?

Are you aware of how it relates to the content in this post?

What’s your direct experience of the sleeping...in which you dream? When you wake up and remember a dream, does it convince you you’re awake? If both have no inherent existence, what’s this? What are you? Is the moon illuminating, or illuminated?

It’s vulnerable & brave to ask the questions, you should’t be apologizing. What knows full and well it is infinite, understands precisely why it can not experience finite, and here we are, with these questions. What is aware of it’s infinitude, has not want, or need. Need is one of the deepest, most fundamentally challenging beliefs, and want is it’s offshoot, it’s odor. There truly is no such thing as a human being, sans an idea(s) of yours. There is also no such thing as an ego, that too is your idea. You don’t have someone else’s ideas there btw, those are your ideas. The having of the question of if these acts are at the fault of having “lost connection”...arises in the same atmosphere, of having “lost connection”. Upon the “reconnection”, is the very consciousness which is essentially and ultimately, being asked about, currently appearing in discord. It’s good to ask the questions, but only to exhaust the asking, to reach the ceiling of questions, logic, concept, and the outer world examples. It’s good to expand the mind, but ultimately you must turn perception inward upon itself. There is choice, there is experience, there is freedom to create, yes. Is it within our essential nature to inflict harm? That’s a grosse question of self discovery. One who discovers one’s true nature, discovers the whole as well, and knows the truth of others. You can’t possibly overestimate the sneakiness. The localization is so transparent, it appears all pervasive. Try to not be you. Try to forget something on purpose.

The “spiritual stuff” is a write off, and it’s where the maturity & understanding comes in. We are sneaky creatures man. Gotta keep the intellect in tandem, not rogue.

There’s deep wisdom within you already, but you’re stifling it with write offs. Notice how you ruled out the actual answer before stating your question. It’s like saying, don’t answer anything about cows, but, where does beef actually come from?

@ThomasT What do your daily practices and studies look like?

@Alex bliss No one but you could become enlightened.

No, it isn’t. You’re awareness, directly aware of sensations. You’re awareness, directly aware of thoughts. You’re mixing them. They are not mixed. When all is let go, consciousness alone remains. One who holds onto consciousness, sacrifices consciousness, for a thought. (The thought: I am holding consciousness)

Though the theme of most answers will be ‘do the work’, at the same time, so to speak - the one who asks the most questions wins. Also, there’s no “sucking up resources”. Though this paradigm is rampant in the world, it’s not grounded in truth. For every one who has a question, there is one who likes to answer. Any two people should be aware, appreciative, that without both, there’s no experience at all.

There is no pusher. Are you aware that you are aware? Are you aware of thoughts?

Focus on that you exist, look not with your thinking but feel that you exist. Feel existence. This can ‘uproot’ the “ I “, the stories, the preferences, partitions, beliefs, grievances, etc. Where ever you are, there is nothing. Literally, there is no thing there, no I. Nothing. Feel into “it”. See. The I, is of parts and pieces, identity, conditions. None of which exists. Feel - feel - feel - there is nothing there! There is no I, right now - notice what arises to the contrary, just be aware of “that”. Notice, you created “it”. Just now, you did. There is nothing.

@Extreme Z7 Give this stuff a try. Universe literally could not want more for you, could not hold more love for you. That is what is impossible. Silly, the reasons we put in the way, but we can let them go. Same universe will alleviate you, and in love, make all things anew.

@AleksM Of course, you know this. Pair it with direct communication, silence, & nothing...”shaktipat”. @Nexeternity Different content, same fulcrum, assertion, of which there is not.

@krockerman You are experiencing the life you are creating. You are choosing such things. Are you though? Are you living on purpose? The thing about the ‘pesky dots’, is only direct experience will do. See about this nothing.