Nahm

The first thought is “ I “. If the thought ” I “ is believed, the story begins unfolding, and the universe is, and is separate, and “you” are in “it”. If the thought “ I “ is not believed, then it is a thought, and there is no story to follow, because without believing the thought “ I “, there is no separation, there is no other, no order, no chaos, no “outside world”. The duality of I & this planet “collapsed”....simply by no longer believing a thought about an I, is an I - but rather, is a thought. Self-love, is then seen for what it is...planet-love, universe-love, cosmos-love...apple-love....people-love.....(could continue infinitely). So love “the planet” = self-love. Self-love = planet-love. Trying to escape the fact self = love (aka self-love), by believing an “ I “ thought........”chaos”. “I want to give this planet through truth/love and integrity” You already did. It’s done. You “gave it”, to “yourself”. Thanks!! You’re ‘doing it’ right Now, ...Now enjoy it!

@VeganAwake ? Yes. Great movies.

@Buba Yes, you’ve made it clear that your current perspectives are not leading to relief and feeling good. The only question really is how willing you are to consider changing your beliefs and perspectives. Occasionally being right & feeling good match up, in this case they are not. So, you basically have to continue seeing things how you are, or considering it is your chosen perspective which is not aligning with your feelings. The beliefs to uncover, inspect, release sound like... “I am not fine the way I am”. “I can’t change the way I’m looking at this” “I can’t accept myself”. These are thoughts about an idea of you, while you are just, you. Without the ideas of you, there’d be no caparison to “how you should be” or “how you’re supposed to be”. It often seems that when we hold a perspective in spite of our own body & feelings telling us it isn’t true, after a while, the tension localizes. It seems this is what’s going on with the abdomen.

@VeganAwake Love ya man. This convo, there’s just no communication happening. ??

@Buba If someone judges you, let it be theirs. Truly it is, unless you believe otherwise. My one guy’s vote is you’re already just fine however you are. I feel I understand what you said, but fear is the resistance to self discovery. It’s thinking there is something terrible there, but when you look you find out it’s love. There seems to be a lot of concern for what your parents think. How does it matter, in what ways? You said you feel peace when imaging marrying a female. Then that being gay would be the collapse of me. The “real” you so to speak, is what can not collapse. So maybe there are idea’s of you, which would collapse. If so, what would be the loss, if any? Sort of seems like all you’d lose is the worry, fear, stress, etc, of not being you as you are. Seems like you’d be happier.

@TDW1995 What would happen if you were embarrassed? What would that mean, what would that amount to?

@VeganAwake Thanks. By creating dualities I didn’t mean splitting God in half. I mean the distinctions you’re making. What about the other questions, any thoughts?

Add the filter of “if this thought doesn’t feel good to me, it’s not going to feel good to another” and you’ll forget this was ever a problem. Also, learn from your karma.

There is no assertion.

What was the fear like before you started believing you need someone else?

First “comes” the only actual sensation....unconditional love (which is actually you, and you don’t come & go). Then a thought (duality) is “added”, and an “emotion” is created & experienced. It IS the judgement.......”the feeling is negative”. Who would you be, without judging feelings? States come & go within I am. By creating the distinction of “state”, you are inherently pointing to that which comes & goes, vs what is “constant”. It is you which is constant, not states. If there is something that in the relative (I am separate) perspective doesn’t suit me, or is not beneficial to that belief that I am separate - then I would label that - a “problem”. When that perspective is let go, being seen as “self” serving, but not at all Self serving, then there is no “problem” anymore. When you ask if I experience “problems”...you are asking if I judge situations or people as “problems”, or if I just see that they simply are, as they are. They are, as they are. “ I “ could never be “in” peace. I am peace...states, problems, distinctions, feelings, thoughts, perspectives...these come and go. Peace does not come and go. Music comes and goes in silence, silence doesn’t come & go. You might be thinking...and trying to find, in thinking, if you should feel ashamed. Take a step back from that, and honestly ask yourself if you even believe in shame to begin with. If the answer is yes, given how it feels - why continue believing in it?

@Buba You could, now, realize it is the judgment which feels bad, wether you are judging gay people, being gay, yourself, or anyone else. The feeling says your perspective is not true altogether. Why recreate the same perspective over and over when feeling guides you? Do you ever feel like, “maybe I’m wrong about something here”....”maybe it’s been fine to feel fine the whole time, and there never was a “problem”...? Is there someone in particular, that you want validation / love from? Who?

If you hadn’t done this... You wouldn’t have realized this. Why create the duality that one is seeking / not-seeking, ‘path’ / “no-path”, the way / no-way, love / headless ness, etc. Were “you” not always “on the path”? (In hindsight) Also, when you are well aware there are no dualities....that you create them...such as the direct path, and the progressive path...why continue creating them? Also, I’m just curious...when you say to people in your life... “it’s this!”, and suggest no path, no practices (when you were on the path, and you did practices) doesn’t “inner being” give you a sort of “signal”? Is there not compassion & value in explaining the “turning within” (practice) to help others? What are your thoughts on thriving in the ‘practical’ / relative world by first developing a strong confidence in “self” and then deconstructing, rather than not addressing things like self confidence, self esteem, etc, at all?

When you let go of judging yourself, you have heard the message of your feelings, and your abdomen, fear, and panic subside.

There were two birds on a wire, and both felt shame and guilt. There was one bird on a wire, and it never occurred to him to think on behalf of another.

“There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be...it’s easy!...”

@DreamScape What would you change, in the peace?

@DreamScape It does feel nice doesn’t it? Like, some peace for a change.

@mandyjw ☺️ “Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time...it's easy...” The Beatles

@Serotoninluv “You can put your hands down kids, you don’t exist.”

@mandyjw The two paths.

@Elham Sorry to hear all of this, it is terrible, and thanks for sharing it. Just a thought, occasionally people leave, and in the ‘pointing away’ mindset of doing so, move from green, through yellow, adding some more orange growth, and then move into turquoise, and in growing as such, return in a transcendent anew truth, wisdom & passion. You should think about getting a degree in language, as that would assist in solidifying with ease the relationships to come which play key roles in such a ‘return’. Or not...not trying to imply either is ‘better’...just, sometimes in such chaos it’s missed how perfectly things are working. When we do miss that, sometimes we internalize more than is ours to take on, and it can have occasional adverse effects which seem very unrelated initially.

@PlayOnWords Godspeed man. Imo, keeping the thoughts of yesterday going keeps the full breadth of feeling at bay. To be here now, be here now. Notice every arising thought, now. Consider the analogy of trains (thoughts) leaving the station (the here now). Notice, it seems as if you “got on a train” (got sucked into a thought)...over & over, notice, you are still here now. You are not moving or going anywhere. Rather than bypass, this actually brings up what stands to be ‘purged’, and as such, understandings, insights, and clarity arise, releasing you of the thought cycles of the past via Understanding.

@Vercingetorix Thanks for sharing all that. Definitely sounds like the swing, as you mentioned, between “normal life / reality” and the truth / breakthroughs you had. It sounds they are rather immediately being contextualized by unaligned emotions & thought patterns. There are likely thought patterns at play resuming & reinforcing the material / conditioned perspectives which stand to be inspected / interrupted, in the most positive & beneficially relieving & releasing ways. The ‘remaining’ 3 on diet & 4 on fitness could be attributed to this swing. The dream board would be most helpful as it’s about diving deep into good feeling / what you want in this life. This brings that (unconditional love, joy, passion, inspiration) into this (choiceland), if you will. This also “cuts through” thinking / conceptualizing, as it’s rooted in wanting / feeling, aligned with the ‘dreamworld’ actuality. Then, you begin aligning source / feeling / thought...one thought at a time....”does it feel good, or not good” - not my life, but one single thought at a time. This “dials you into the now. This also brings intuition out so to speak, as resistant thoughts are acknowledged and let go, and the oneness of feeling is at the helm of the thoughts, rather that thinking being at the helm (a relative never ending carousel of thinking / searching / seeking). This naturally uproots any discord between reoccurring thought patterns which are unwanted, and how you want to be feeling 24/7. This also brings tremendous insight to what “letting go” truly is. In the “letting go means acceptance of what is” mindset, there is actually a reinforcement of materialism, as what is, is not thinkable, and therefore “acceptance” of it is actually reinforcing a fundamentally false duality. If one has a connotation of “mindfulness” in this same vein, it is actually also subtly but powerfully reinforcing the very patterns which are desired to be let go. The dream boarding also gets everything you want in front of your eyes / mind, and day by day, it what comes into focus is the true authentic vision for your life infused / created of, positive emotions (it’s all what you want). This also effortlessly naturally ‘facilitates’ the purification, or ‘emptying’ of all the old thought -> emotion -> rethinking / overthinking -> emotions ->more thinking->emotions, patterns. This ‘purges out’ the misunderstood emotions that were innocently “suppressed” to create ways of coping with being in a physical material world, when feeling was actually always aligned with the true ‘this is your dream’ nature of reality. That will not only move you considerably up the emotional scale, but also dramatically reduce how much thinking is arising, making for greater clarity, much more intuition, and the beginning of creator realization which has been the actuality all along. This also brings synchronicity, the tangible realization of manifestation, nondual awareness, and the unresistant receiving of all that you are wanting. This all contributes to bridging that “gap” between the realizations of oneness you’ve experienced, and the “real world” (thought patterns) which seem to “rob” you of the lastingness of the realizations. That leads to a point where the “realizations” are fully realized as what has always been, and always will be, the actuality, of you / reality. On “mindfulness”, I take it back, and I’d throw that word out altogether if I was you. If I was to be more specific, to draw out a “next step” or “next stage”...it would be no-mind.