Nahm

Self respect, common decency & integrity. ?? I think you’re swinging the pendulum too far to the other side here. Take it one step at a time. Meet, have a date, spend some time together, have fun, get to know each other for the fun of it. Use dating / matching websites, meetups etc, more specifically aimed at finding a long term partner, which draws those looking for that too. Letting go of the “game” lens, thinking and verbiage would be imo most helpful, as without that you’d be naturally already attracting someone who is also decent, self respecting and of integrity. I’m willing to bet you already were before, and were simply a bit more focused on sex. I agree, it’s preference, and not a judgement. Imo what you want is to fall in love and you stand to much more so allow love to unconditionally give you exactly what you desire. Having to wait until marriage is a condition. Don’t add conditions, let em go. Universe knows what you want and is already being it. The less unnecessary conditions the better. Also imo, you will have sex upon falling in love. Probably the same day or night. It won’t matter what you were thinking & talking about here today about waiting until marriage, because, love. It wont even matter what you’re thinking then, because, sex in love. You might just have to find some way to be just a little less conditional and learn to live with falling in love & having sex.

Becoming more conscious or more aware is ego inflating delusional misleading conjecture. You need to step back mentally prior to (relax, meditate, try healing modalities,therapy, etc) more than just the content of thoughts like these, and see the way you're framing it up and conceptualizing yourself. @dearleo123 is helping you and you treat him as an adversary at your own expense. This is an ego hijack. The belief you’re the one who has awakenings. That is also delusional conjecture. Retrace it to the source for clarity on what dearleo123 has already shared here. It’s just opinion, but I’d sleep on it and read what he / she wrote again tomorrow, and repeat. It’ll click and you’ll be glad. There’s no you that’s more awake/conscious. You’ve been deeply mislead and seem to refuse to look at this, and the discord there in. There’s no you seeking either. You’re gravitating to this facade because you share the same ‘be a man’ egoic beliefs and perspectives. There’s thought attachment, and emotional suppression. There’s also meditation and the emotional scale. You’re believing conjecture. You need relaxation, down time, to let go / let nonsense discordant conjecture go. I love ya brother, but the evidence is the very questions you’re asking here. If the emotional experience is anger, then it is. It’s not good or bad, it’s to be expressed, and then express the next emotion and so on. Resisting to acknowledge the conjecture is suffering, via rumination / aversion / avoiding acknowledging what you actually are feeling… which would actually result in feeling much much better, and having more ideas, plans, insights and support than you could even pack into one lifetime.

Love ya brother. ?? Keep that goodness goin.

It would suffice to focus on something else. That way the blame can fizzle out. Also, yes, you should appreciate them, and hug them, and tell them you’re sorry and that you love them. It’s cohesive with you moving on in many ways. It’s not required, but why wouldn’t anyone really. More or less, you. You move on, by letting go of continuing to focus on, what doesn’t even feel good, to you. I’d use paper & pencil and write down why you’re still focusing on this. What it is you want out of it, so you can move on / focus on what does feel good to you to focus on. There’s no long run really. You’re focusing on those thoughts now, or not at all. Maybe the issue is the focusing on it, and if so, writing what you want out of this on paper helps clarify. Don’t ask about it though. The clarity arises only in actually doing it. Write until you know exactly what it is you need or want. If you’re willing & earnest about that writing, you might end up not needing or wanting anything other than to feel great, and for your folks to feel great to. That’s all I want for the three of ya. Maybe join the club. ….. then go to the next emotion on the scale and willingly express that you do sometimes feel it. Then the next one. That could be one sentence. Keep it simple. Closure. Freedom. For you. For your moving on / no longer focusing on this. I’m a parent. I’m responsible for money, food, and a lot of practical support. I can help my kids to feel better emotionally and I often do, but I can also get in the way of their communion with source by doing so. The real goodness is within them. And me too. And you too. And your parents too. What you’ve been doing is working, as in, isn’t resulting in you feeling amazing all the time. So try something else… like you are with using the scale…. And also try just talking to your parents, from the sincere place of acknowledging all you really want, is the same thing which is all they really want, which is feeling this love of our source. This means willingness to let go, to apologize, to forgive, to move on in love.

@BlueOak It’s easier not to judge. Behinds the scenes of all judgement is judging oneself. Which doesn’t make any sense, because oneself is love (sense).

@KatiesKarma Understanding the emotions you are already experiencing will change your entire understanding, and therein outlook, daily experience and life. Reading text and listening to videos will not do. If you would like to talk just let me know. No cost, link’s below. Much love & I hope you feel better soon. ?

@BlueOak Conceptualism, intellectualism and state chasing are conjecture. The simplicity is that this is thought attachment, and these highly discordant beliefs are what’s being triggered. The clarity in regard to conjecture is in recognizing you aren’t creating it per se, you’re hearing and believing it. You aren’t creating the conjecture, but you are creating the belief / believing of it, at the expense of how it feels. The complexity is in the framing of the discord of the conjecture, as your serious emotional problems. The perpetuation is in the continuance and doubling down, or, conjecture referential conjecture; that more conceptualizing, intellectualizing, and state chasing will some how resolve conceptualizing, intellectualizing and state chasing. This leads to more emotional suppression, and more attempting to control situations and others, believing this will result in feeling better. But it doesn’t. It results in headaches & suffering, which is believed to be pain.

Suffering is of thought attachment. Cessation is of thought attachment. Life & death are thoughts. Known fact is a thought. The Buddha taught, is a thought. Get rid of is a thought. Extinguish the flame of life is a thought. Become disattached to life is a thought. Siddhartha suggested meditation, and did not suggest rumination, or, believing thoughts and then trying to think more to figure out, and that aversion is the aversion from, meditation. You are The Buddha.

Improv writing is an easy way to switch from focusing on what you don’t want to what you do want. The emotional scale is an easy way switch from suppressing to expressing. An expression journal is an easy way to express, or, empty out discord, see it in front of you, more clearly, and thus to understand, and to know with more clarity, what you do want. Focusing on what you don’t want, or what you want to avoid (same thing), is like vacuuming the floor without the vacuum being plugged in. One can do that, but it doesn’t create any change. Only with the vacuum plugged in does (‘the carpet’) your life change, because you are the creator of your reality by default. You life can be and indeed will be what you continue to focus upon. This is not ‘something to learn’, this has been the case all along.

Not two. ?? Need to be understood or to understand is resolved within, yet attracts “understanders” without. Sheep and wolf, birds of feathers.

@IamYou But God has confirmed there are separate selve(s). I trust you simply didn’t get the message. Or maybe just don’t have the right chemical. Innocent either way.

“Know yourself as God; sell yourself as God consciousness” - No one ever

@trenton In a video game, focus leads the way and the virtual game reality is rendered as you go - or rather, making it seem as if the video game character is moving. In reality it is the same, but if you whip yourself around real quick, you don’t ‘catch that glimpse’ of that rendering on the horizon like in a video game. But nonetheless it can certainly be noticed. The simplest easiest way to ‘see the rendering’, is to focus more & more on thoughts of what you want. I mean that effortlessly, as in the very same effortless focus in which these words are read. Notice, everything you’ve focused on along the way led to this, right now, focusing on reading these very words. Notice also, this continues to be the case. The simplest way to focus on wanted, is to make a dreamboard, and spend just a few minutes each day with improv writing. You will see with your own eyes that establishing what you want, wether a dollar or a mansion, by writing it on the board, and by focusing on wanted thoughts aligned with what you want, it indeed does manifest. Surely there will be some doubt, and many other emotions experienced as well. Understanding these is ‘getting out of your own way’ / enjoying the hell out of the conscious creating. Greatest thrill ride in the cosmos. Some people have reported back on this after being introduced to the pointing & tools, and often share how odd it seems to try to remember that they once were not focusing on what they wanted. They usually try to ‘figure out’ why in the world they wouldn’t have been. Nobody seems to know why, or have any good reason or logic to explain this.

Anything sufficiently inspected no longer exists, including the hypocrisies of one’s own mind.

@trenton Here ya go http://www.martinball.net/

Spend just one single entire day for anyone & everyone else, with no self serving motive or intention whatsoever, and the experiential difference between seriousness and authentic expression is made clear. As usual, only the direct experience will do.

@trenton What stands to be most helpful & impactful are completely different interpretations of your direct experience, and ways of exploring, understanding, releasing, expelling and therein bringing much clarity to conditioning, trauma, sexual orientation, identity & relating with others in regard to knowing much more so what you actually want going forward, and feeling clarity & inspiration around it. This will ideally bring about & in large part be a product of transmutation and all of the clarity and alignment which comes with it. Most fundamentally, the most significant difference in understanding would be an entirely renewed knowing of what you want, and the feeling of alignment therein, and the key there is an entirely new understanding of trust regarding very specifically what is conceptual and what is actual. Wether there is a bias ring to this is entirely up to you, but I wouldn’t wait. I’d seek out and talk to someone who already understands everything you’re experiencing, who can help you to see all of this with much more ease & clarity. A very specific regard comes to mind, that of manipulation and honesty in regard to transcendence. I would talk with someone who’s, so to speak, actually transcended sexuality, ambition, manipulation and trust. Martin Ball comes to mind as ideal, and I believe he still schedules sessions. My opinion, if I were in your shoes, I’d go online right now and schedule a session with him, and then think about it only afterwards. And I would be painstakingly careful in regard to your path, or going forward, about what content or material you put in front of you. Especially in regard to listeneing to the feeling of discord or alignment vs ambition in & harming via selling / manipulation vs emotional intelligence, and self conceptualization(s) vs authenticity. In regard to “i hate myself”… start loving stuff. Don’t worry about you / take a break from that. Pick out what you do like, wether it’s a lot or a little, as far as interests and activities. Most ideally, do some of that, spend some time on those first thing every morning. With no expectations. No anticipated outcomes. Just for the experience and feeling. Consider the profound is in realizing the simple is being overlooked. I’d look to love consciously, on purpose. Doesn’t matter if it’s a mug, the sunset, hobbies, etc. I’d re-emphasize that as much as possible. One could imo rightfully frame ‘big problems’ as diverting from simple, simply, expressing love, for literally anything. This leads to feeling more authentic appreciation, which is sort of the gateway to feeling more, which becomes foundational in expressive releasing, acceptance, forgiveness, understanding, transmuting, and thus incredibly more moving-forward-ness inspirationally, aligned and knowing and feeling the reality, realness, or actuality, of alignment. All just suggestions here. The ‘buffet’. God bless and I hope you find / realize clarity on these difficult matters.

I would explore, talk about, and express that feeling to release it. Then inspiration, clarity and focus will be naturally experienced. A medication could help with focus by essentially suppressing emotion, and the rumination that is experienced from suppressing emotion, and meditation will help with relaxation and allowing and suppression to come up & out. I’d take the path of least resistance, being mindful all roads lead to expression. In short, there isn’t any disciplining of anyone actually, and there isn’t progress per se from meditation such that it ‘fixes’ someone or something. The way these options are framed seems like avoidance of feeling, while feeling more is what’s most desired, which is why expression & understanding what you’re experiencing / seeing through ignorance & confusion, is most ideal.

@IAmAtomical When you try to discipline, who or what are you disciplining?

You got it, that it’s an illusion. The you that can’t get it is the illusion. The ‘separate self’ of thoughts, time, etc. Nothing actually happens.

@IAmAtomical When you experience what you call that ‘trouble’, which emotion does it most feel like?

Is this an accurate summation…. Why do I experience thoughts about harming others, when I know I won’t, and don’t actually want to harm anyone?

Can you elaborate on that? Referencing this might be very helpful in expressing that trouble.

Never having been born doesn’t equate to nonexistence.

A belief is a thought assumed to be true. There is believing or not, the thoughts. Thoughts can be believed such that it is believed you are an object, a ‘separate self’, and that there is a universe that you, rooms, and elephants are in.