Nahm

But there isn’t what is not focused on. One’s focus, the other’s a thought about focus believed. But so to speak, you’ve got to include the fact there is no separate self, no “focuser”. Notice the ‘separate self’ which is only thoughts. The “one who learns”, the “one who is wondering”, the “one to whom focus is a concept”, the “understander” of “concepts”. The “one who uses eyes”, the “one who is in a material world”. All actually thoughts / there isn’t that “one”. The “one who focuses on consciousness / reality”. It’s allowing the self referential thoughts to settle / come to rest. Because there is no such thing, as things. There is not two in any way. There isn’t that “me”, and therein there is no “one” or “thing” to disidentify from. That “one” is thoughts. Disidentify is just another thought.

@Intraplanetary Right on, yes. The ‘separate self’ of thought is perpetuated & believed in, by believing, thoughts… lingering on via I, me, my, mine, myself, etc. These thoughts are references to an assumed identity and or entity which does not actually exist in any way. Likewise, it can be noticed there is also no ‘thinker’ of thoughts… only the thoughts that there is, and the ‘claiming’ (me, my, mine) and believing of the ‘claiming thoughts’ therein. You didn’t hear this from me though.

@Forza21 Sounds like a glimpse of cessation. States is another contextualization, like “I’m” and “view”, it’s the thought activity of “my” and “state”. Just recognizing this as thought & meditatively letting it go is ample. It’d be counter productive to continue to focus on it beyond acknowledging it’s thoughts. Focus more so on the good feeling of the glimpse. Allow that same good feeling to arise anytime. Recognize thought activity of validation as thoughts also. Careful with the mental framing of ‘you got there’, ‘it’s hard’, ‘can I get there again’, etc. Notice that also is just thoughts, and the “getting there” wasn’t a thought based getting there, but the opposite. “Trying to get rid of” is adding resistance, and can also be recognized as thought narrative / thoughts. Relax, feel & allow, vs trying or focusing on being against anything in experience.

Meditate every morning. If angry, and can’t relax into meditation, express it in some way. Use the scale and express each emotion upwards. Talk to someone, write, maybe a journal here on the forum or whatever works for you to let it out / get it off your chest.

Be in control of what you are in control of, and let the weight of what you aren’t go. Don’t flirt with the line. Be forgiving & understanding of ignorance, and don’t adopt the suffering. Enjoy whatever he is while he is for just what he is. Don’t expect or attempt anything else. Let yourself off the hook for his behaviors & happiness, his alignment & discord therein. You interpret how you want to, and you feel how you want to. Take whatever time away you want and if you want to, tell him you are and why. The more you zoom out and completely let it go from mind altogether, the clearer it gets and the better you feel. Sometimes it’s counterintuitive once zoomed in for a long while. Also, that falling out might be things workin out. Difficult emotionally maybe, but probably felt good to get it out / address it too.

@fopylo Hope asking isn’t taken in any uncomfortable way. Sounds like you’re holding expectations upon meditation. Let those go to.

@Javfly33 Lot of conceptualization and discordant reasoning there, but, ok. I mean, what can anyone say to you when you already know so much?

@fopylo How many mornings have you meditated in a row and for how many minutes?

I mean, in regard to ‘getting rid of that feeling’, it’s really letting the believing of that thought story go. There’s no self or past the thoughts are about.

There’s no separate self or past, just the thoughts about.

@Someone here ? Love ya bro.

“What you chase is chasing you.”

In the hindsight of being in a relationship, spirituality, psychology and personal development were just concepts ruminated on in aversion. Like protecting a conceptual bubble from getting burst.

There are only reasons for unhappiness, and that’s only if the thoughts are believed in spite of the discord of the reasoning. Happiness doesn’t ever come from your life or notions of satisfaction with your life. It seems happiness could or would be at a point in the future, but (via thought attachment) life goes by without realizing there is no future, and it never happens. Happiness is what’s happening, but thought makes it seem like a future attainment. There’s no ‘I am happiness’ option in the poll.

If there is discord, it’s fair to say life is teaching you something. Fair enough imo to phrase it that way. Life, being of course unconditional love, the ‘teaching’ being to see more clearly, to love. In regard to a judge in the sky, a separate self & an afterlife therein, there is none of these. You might say, God’s love questioning God’s love is so intrinsically absurd it’s actually hysterical. Without believing in egos, meaning, value & purpose, is there the possibility of fear, guilt, shame, and the manipulation therein?

@Ivan Dimi Amen.

Depends if one believes feeling is good or bad.

@4201 If you want to stop believing thoughts, there is meditation. If it’s difficult, there is expression & understanding emotions. What there isn’t, is something which needs to be fixed. Without the paradigm of needing, there is realization of wanting.

I think the realizations sought would be easier if you didn’t make it so much about me. Maybe not though. It might be expression which upon expressing, you experience more clarity for having expressed. If that’s the case, pile on at will. Each is the same singularity, infinite one, and each in kind attracts. Loa isn’t an entity which is or could be right or wrong. It doesn’t matter if loa is believed or not. I’m rally fine with however you think about it, or interpret it. If you don’t care for what I offer in regard to loa, I’m also fine with not being asked about it. Ok. Ok. Ok.

@4201 Just pop in ‘I want x’ instead of ‘I need x’.

Express that you’re jealous. It’s relieving and feels better than guilt. There are people who think & believe the opposite, that they do deserve to live, and are appreciating life, love the experience of ‘stuff’, love themself & people, and therein don’t have that ‘voice in their head’. Maybe you want to experience like these people do.

In not believing “your own” thoughts / meaning, you’d also see through meaning as coming from someone or somewhere else. Notice the believing of the thoughts transpired just before asking. Let it go. Experience not needing an answer because the question is meaningless. ?

“Dismissive attachment” is a thought, not something you have. The attachment is to the thought, as in, believing that thought is something which is true about you, and missing it’s just a thought and isn’t true about you at all. ‘Working on it’ is feeding it life, reinforcing the belief it’s true, and that it’s something you have to somehow work on. The ‘work’ is letting go of the belief, and isn’t work at all. That is why you’re feeling as you said, extreme resistance. You’re basically trying to believe it’s true and fix it. The relevance is that carries over to the rest of the thoughts, which you are focused upon, which seem to be, as in are believed to be (true) about yourself. Attachment styles is a conceptual bypass & diversion from the direct acknowledgement and inspection of the belief (in & of itself). Through that lens so to speak, it seems like the discord felt, is related to what other people think and or say, while it’s the thoughts about yourself which are discordant. The emotional scale. If you desire to feel better and exit the rollercoaster of conceptual bypassing, let the thoughts of other people & what they might be thinking go altogether, in favor of understanding the emotions you are experiencing in relation to what you’re thinking. To be emotionally affected by what people think or say is to believe in assertion, to believe another is making you feel that way, and again, this is missing that you are feeling what you are thinking, or you might say, the discord of your own interpretation. The emotional guidance felt (I presume) is powerlessness, and not vulnerability. It would be (imo) wise to express jealousy. Perhaps you see people aware of what was said here, and desire to ‘have that’, and not the discord of the present interpretation / conceptualization.

“No one comes to the Father except through me”. Self Inquiry. “Focus on the feeling of being "me," to the exclusion of all arising thoughts…”

How is formlessness = form? Both thoughts that there is something (else).