Nahm

@Loving Radiance ?

@neovox It sounds like you’re saying health issues and suffering are the same. Can you specify? Have you been diagnosed with health issues, or are you primarily talking about how you feel?

@NondualesStudium You were taught Well. Why’d you stop?

Did you by any chance, as a kid, ever experience writing down what you wanted, and it magically showing up?

If they existed there’d be no belief.

Since there’s no actual comparison between individuals, it might not be guilt of a past that feels off, but the limiting perspective of what’s possible now.

‘No mind’.

@BlackMaze It’s not a fear per se, solipsism feels off because it is a bit off. Perspective is a thought. Only is identification, as the only person, only “real” person, or only finite mind. Point of view is all encompassing, ineffable, being appearing as.

Same One, appearing as the “two”. As the sphere of the world, there are roles, identities, etc. As the sphere of the lens, there are thoughts and thought attachment. As being, appearing as the spheres, there is love, peace, beauty, the true nature. One is none of these, one is all of these, and all the sam’s/sara’s in between. Yes, not more identity, and not per se less either, but the wholeness of the blend of being experiencing. If you haven’t, check out the movie The Hurricane. It’s basically the cinematic portrayal of this topic and theme.

(Imo) More so... awareness of the reactions which arise only from the identification with the roles. It’s not about the psychology. It’s about unfettering love in every possible way... un-conditioning ‘identity’.

@Vittorio This might provide some insight or clarity. It might initially sound like a crazy philosophy, but check / verify in direct experience.

@levani Make a dreamboard. Think of what you want to create & experience, instead of about yourself. Inspect... if you’re aware of the thoughts, who are the thoughts about?

What a great, great thread. One of the greatest delights on the path imhfo. How... letting go of masculine identity. Spot the roles & reactions, ‘the producer’, ‘the provider’, ‘the protector’, ‘the stronger one’, ‘the one sacrificing / carrying the weight’, etc. Just like you mentioned with sexual orientation & attraction, it doesn’t mean necessarily having different desires, preferences or inclinations, but they are seen through, and femininity arises in direct experience in addition. The sexual aspect is quite astounding and noteworthy though. It’s like being in tune with instruments and scales that weren’t on the radar before. Some unseen transparent walls are just no longer there, sensuality & depth of intimacy goes off the charts (ime). And not just sexually, emotionally. It’s like Irish intuition, insight, ‘seeing’ & relatability... it be Dublin. There is also a sort of unexpected revelation ime, that of experiencing everyone as your kids. Not in any lesser than manor, and the previous perspectives are still available, but also a new and profoundly moving much more fulfilling, satisfying and whole experience. In making the two (masculine & feminine) one, every one (which is typically experiencing as masculine or feminine) seems so innocent. Again, not lessor than, but profoundly child like. As if experiencing as a mom and dad simultaneously. Hard to put words to that one. In case anyone is concerned about venturing into this, the ass kicker is still there, just not being experienced so much, but at the ready so to speak. Again, in addition. It’s expansive, not reductive. Some practical ventures in this regard might be some long talks, yoga and or reiki classes (almost always all female ime). Having tea parties with a daughter, niece, or what have you, if available. Stuff like that. And to be fair... it’s also another full circle or revelation as far as the feminine sorrow, suppression, inequality, collective suffering, etc.

@roopepa That is so kind & much appreciated, thank you! I’m feelin it too man. This love so crazy. ?

To experience through and as human beings.

...another wave in the ocean! Thanks! Feelin the love. ??

@allislove ???

@levani Stop fragmenting yourself, with the thinking of yourself, as low conscious & high conscious. Accept that you can not think, yourself, because you are yourself. Shift focus to what you want to experience, and it will be so. When you shift to focusing on what you want, the beliefs you’v been holding which are behind that, will dispel. Motive is avoiding missing out on something, inspiration is the natural feeling of focusing on what you want. If and when emotions of unworthiness arise, use the emotional scale. Notice it is the habit of focusing / thinking about yourself, and shift again to what your want. Notice in an overall way, you’ve been sort of going through a checklist, focusing on abstraction, other people, etc, and are now coming back around to address what you want. There isn’t an alone or not alone, sorry if that ‘bursts’ a bubble. You’re feeling the alignment or discord of the thoughts you’re focusing on. The context, or interpretation is far more relevant than the content of perception. Another way to say that, you’re focusing on wether loneliness is healthy or not...which doesn’t feel good to focus on...instead, focus directly on what you do want. Same beliefs, same focus, same experience, same results. Give this a once over for anything you might be attempting to skip, which is prior to the interactions and relationships you are desiring to experience. Think fundamentally, foundationally... like the story of the three little pigs, if you will.

@bastih What @allislove said is right on, and I’ll pm you if that’s ok, with a specific suggestion (which could be ‘personal’).

To do lists are for pads of paper. Dreamboard is manifestation. Have a look at the emotional scale... The unfulfilled / mild depression is emotion created by thoughts about oneself (inward orientation), in the bottom grey & black bars. To relieve yourself of those emotions, express jealousy (outward orientation). Write anything that naturally comes to mind that you see anyone creating, having, doing, being, etc, on your board. As the infinite creator, you’ll never run out of what you desire to create & experience. In the same way a health issue gets ‘louder’ until it’s listened to, the dream for your life gets bigger and also ‘louder’. When you are depressed or bored, there is dream within you to be put on the board. When you feel contentious or ‘against the grain’, there is belief to release, see through, and let go of. I would consider a daily morning meditation of feeling your ‘inner being’, and shifting from the conceptual existential to the actuality that you are creating your reality. You’ll start realizing intuition, and the simplest and most ordinary & mundane of creation and life starts getting incredibly fun. You inevitably won’t be able to even remember what depression, boredom, restlessness or being unfulfilled felt like, from practicing the rest of the way up the scale from jealousy. You’ll have more you want to create, and more insights to accompany it, than you’ll have time for in this lifetime. Don’t skip any bars when you use the scale. It’s not about cognitively understanding it, it’s about expressing each emotion. Understanding is the byproduct. It is entirely possibly to focus only on what you do want, and to receive it / manifest it ‘in the flesh’. This is inspiration (conscious creating / well being / flow state / stream entry, rather than motivation (avoidance of what you don’t want). Experiencing, realizing preferences, and creating & experiencing what you prefer is the whole design, the point, what makes life worthwhile. Anytime. Much love for you. Always appreciating your input. ??

Sounds like you had a break from beliefs & judgments which are asymmetrical in terms of feeling, or simply, being. Without thought attachment / a ‘separate self’ control narrative, reality is inevitably realized to be perfection and made of perfect symmetry. I’d do a few minutes of awareness of thoughts meditation each morning, and maybe again in the afternoon to keep ‘emptying your cup’. I’d also slowly make changes to clean diet & exercise every morning. Then I’d consider doing emotional awareness meditation. As emotion comes up & out, considering using the emotional scale to express and clear out ‘blockages’ and bring understanding to emotion. I’d also have emotional equanimity at the ready for any past relationship resentments or grudges that arise, to free yourself of it. I’d make the overarching theme that of a dreamboard and focusing on & experiencing what you want, and feeling & experiencing the true nature & power of our source within becoming it ‘without’.

How’s it start?

“This place is a dream. Only a sleeper considers it real. Then death comes like dawn and you wake up laughing at what you thought was your grief”. Rumi

@Soullee One of the tools on my website is a dream journal, and it’s simpatico with what you’re describing. Give it a try, I think you’ll find many insights.

Having a family.