Nahm

@SunAngel The reference to turquoise is a reference to the model, with previous stages leading to turquoise within that model. In accordance with the model, no, other than, by the model. Imo, in the bigger picture, it’s a return home, not a going, an achieving, a learning of any kind, nor an accumulating. I would wager most ‘turquoise level people’ have not had a mystical experience like you described, yet have a broader understanding and frame of reference.

@Growly “One of my problems” is really one thought. It is the thought that you have problems. If you attempt to point physical to the you, and the problems, you quickly find ‘problems’ is really in perspective... how you’re seeing things, not what you’re actually seeing. The neighbor to the left of me has a problem, which is that his horse’s manure has accumulated into a pretty sizable pile. The neighbor to the right of me also has a problem, and it is that stores are all sold out of fertilizer, and he is laying down new sod grass. The neighbors behind me both work and have a three year old girl, and their problem is there are no babysitters available. The neighbor’s in front of me have an eighteen year old daughter who’s problem is she lost her job at the daycare for toddlers, which she loved. From the middle there doesn’t really seem to be any problems. But if I join them at either end, it may seem as though there is. If you say you have problems, you experience having problems. You don’t ever per se, create anything when you say ‘I have problems’... as in, it’s not like we ever actually, literally, ‘create a problem’. We just assess, or believe, that there is one. Emotions are more admittedly more nuanced than saying ‘there is a problem’. But it’s worthwhile to understand emotion, because you inevitably move from the thinking “I have a problem” to “I am experiencing this or that emotion”. “I have a problem” is a thought about you. “I am experiencing this emotion” is not a thought about you. It is a thought about what you are experiencing, or, about your experience. You asked what I did about it... when a reaction arose, when I was triggered by what someone thought, said or did... I would choose to relax and breathe instead of reactively saying anything. I’d ‘let them off the hook’, and assume responsibility of my focus, perspective, emotion, and actions. Was difficult at first, got easier overtime, until I wasn’t feeling reaction, but the very source of it. Essentially, switch “this or that is giving me anxiety” to “how am I creating this so called anxiety...what does this reveal about my truest nature, what does this reveal about focus, and perspective, and creating?” There are many that think and believe ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I have problems’, ‘I’m unworthy’, ‘something’s wrong with me’, etc, but no one the thoughts are actually about. It is as if you made a world out of sleeping, and are noticing how reactivity is like a bottle and a blanket. Maybe you want more than that. Dunno.

@Growly Appreciating the appreciating of the humor. I hear you on being scared of judgement from your family. Mine used to tell me I was crazy. Now they’re crazy too. What we found, in regard to judgement, is that it doesn’t feel good, only to the judge, and never to the judged. I am feeling the alignment or discord of my thoughts. Mom’s feeling hers. Dad’s feeling his. If mom or dad verbally expresses their thought of judgement to me... I do not feel it. What I do feel, is my own alignment or discord, of believing or not believing, what they shared. Ultimate I learned that I do not care what my mom and dad think, because it doesn’t matter, because I love them no matter what they think, believe, or say, and really, that is their business anyways, not mine. This led to everyone no longer judging each other, and every one focusing more on how what they think and say, feels. You said “I understand the goodness in me still”. Can you see that ‘goodness’ is good feeling? If you can, then you can see that you are projecting that good feeling onto a secondary source, as if it’s coming from the act of productivity, or accomplishing. Whatever “black pill” is, it is not working for you. Focus on what does resonate. If you struggle with this, write down what does not resonate with you about blackpill... then write the opposite next to it, and focus on that. “Lacking critical thinking skills” is one thought. It is not true about you... as it is exactly as it is experienced - one thought. Repeated, one belief. Instead of believing the thought “that is very hard to do when you’re bored”... express the next higher emotional on the emotional scale. Write down what you do not like about YNC.com, and google that. Focus on what feels good to you, no justification is needed. “Perfect moments” is a thought, a belief, that there are multiple moments. In our direct experience this is not the case, or actuality. You = present moment. There is no present moment, or any moment, that is without, you. Nootropics are really up to you and your doctor. I tried around twenty of them, and found the experience unfavorable. They do work well for some of course. I would be straightforward and inspect the anxiety and depression, by writing on a piece of paper what the cause, or source of it is. This is an exercise, a direct experience, so thinking about it is not anything like experiencing it. Keep writing about the what, where, etc that it is. Be literal. Inspect determined to find it. Any thing thoroughly inspected disappears, without exception.

@Growly You got me in the feels, but then rained on our parade with “my subconscious”. If there is said to be something which one is not conscious of, such as a ‘subconscious’, notice one is saying one is conscious of, this so called ‘subconscious’, and therefore the subconscious is not sub -conscious at all. Instead, inspect what it is you are aware of. “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it”. - Rumi “I’m too afraid” is a thought. How does that thought feel? “Ill procrastinate” is a thought. How does that thought feel? ”waste my time on unproductive low conscious things” is a judgement, a thought. How does that thought feel? How do you feel when you recognize these thoughts do not feel good, because these thoughts do not resonate with the goodness that you are? If you allow yourself to see this, it is absolute that you feel the goodness that you are. There is no other possibility. Not in a past, or a present, or a future... there is no other possibility... because you are feeling, right now. You can not change this. You are free however, to focus on, or not focus on, to believe, or not believe, that which does not resonate with the goodness that you are, which can never come, and can never go, but just, is. You can stop at boredom, many do. But you are free not to, and expression is the way. Start at boredom, admit & acknowledge for yourself only, for your own well being only, that any and all conditions which you hold upon this moment as it is, are only thoughts, and focus can be shifted to seeing, hearing, breathing and feeling... and you are at peace, content, with this moment exactly as it is. It need not be different. It need not change. Paradoxically, when this moment is perfect as it is and you do not impress upon it your conditions, that it must change or be different, or contain any thing, substance, or experience... you indeed begin to feel quite hopeful and inspired. You feel the true unconditional nature of the love, the creator you are, and again, paradoxically, knowing you can let go, that you can put your conditions down and feel contentment, you begin to realize you can do so anytime you choose to. You can create, be & experience what you truly desire to. When & if life gets hard, you do not ‘freak out’, because you know the way from boredom to contentment is letting go of conditions held, and you can employ this knowing, expressing, and letting go anytime. When you say ‘it is this way’, ‘it is so & so’... it be’s this way, it be’s so and so. So too, when you say ‘mountain move’, the mountain will move. It will move out of your way, because you will be focused different than before, and creating an experience different than before, and doing so via expression. This universe is an expression of you, and in expressing, you create in alignment with all that is.

@28 cm unbuffed Focusing on the kundalini activation is good, as it is focus inward into the body, to the spine & chakras, directly into feeling, directly into what you can not visually see, and is not focus upon thought. When stories arise, of a seeker, of a you which exists in time, focus again on the raising of the kundalini. To not perpetuate an ‘in a pickle’ situation, between the mind and the heart, express the emotions you are experiencing, on paper, in front of the mind. When going within, such as in activating kundalini, the body responds by going without, or, releasing, un-separating itself. It is likely, but not necessary, that the mind, or thought, will hijack the release again and again. Because you are love, because you are the creator, your power is only in letting go of the thought stories, the narratives, the hijacking. Kundalini activation is no accomplishment, not incentive, not something attained, it does not make you better than. It is letting go of beliefs, misunderstanding, misinterpretation, and ultimately misidentification. When all is let go, nothing remains, just as when all beliefs are relinquished, only the truth can remain.

? ?? Indeed, unbelievable. The ‘my’ can go to. I dare say... this self inquiry is even easier / more direct.

We all end up feeling great over “being right”, not everyone chooses this in the lifetime unfortunately. Some seem to croak and return, just to experience this best of both worlds, yet struggle to do and experience, what they ‘returned’ to do & experience. There is a difficult to see through facade of action and effort equaling results and happiness, but it is very much the other way around. When the former lens is over employed, it is not too difficult to see how the latter can be kept at a distance with a term like spiritual depression. Spirituality being the inspection, or investigation of what it true and actual, depression can not persist for long. When inspected and understood, it no longer is experienced, and the emotional tug of war collapses in peace, love, and understanding, via the release of beliefs & misunderstanding. If one finds oneself chronically ‘being tough’ to an outside world, one could see why that is, in one’s ‘inside world’, and thus be liberated of it completely. This requires not the facade of courage, but actual courage. The true bravery not to defend, but to be perhaps ‘vulnerable’ such that feeling can be understood, and not projected onto any ‘outside causes’. A collaborating story does not make a story more true. It reveals it is not true at all. The implication of two experiencing that there are not two, is all the ‘evidence’ one could ever ‘need’. But we likes our identities, or hierarchy, our drama, our games, our suffering... until we don’t. Then we go home.

@SunAngel Very relatable, and sorry to hear of your loss. I’ve experienced similar, and find a correlation. Just as a way to explain, I find most people believe their understanding & labels upon feeling & emotion so deeply that they believe in and avoid ‘negative emotions’, vs embracing, listening to and exploring the entire emotional spectrum and allowing their guidance system to fully resonate in all of it’s shades. Another way to put this, most people live in emotional suppression but don’t know it. Some events in life trigger the projecting or the releasing of the suppressed emotions. An event such as you described doesn’t leave a lot of room for projection in a common triggering / thinking sense, but brings about profound sadness, and most notably a sorrow which I would describe as ‘below’ or ‘prior to’ sadness. Prior to the sorrow is love. Not romantically or passionately obviously, but you might say mystical, or love as an entity rather than a product of a relationship or experience. Unconditional, infinite love, which has no limit in it’s loving and comforting you. ‘Look’ for a comforting pungent peace in sorrow, and it is present. Infinite can not know finite, and thus can not communicate in dualistic language. Imagery and the use of symbols is more ‘communicable’ in this mystical sorrow / love - peace frequency, or space. If you are interested not so much in trying to logically explain the experience via thought, but experiencing more of the mystical communication of infinite unconditional love, so to speak, you might try writing out the three primary reiki symbols daily. They serve as a connection / communication, which is not communicable through language, but if you ‘do the practice’ daily, you’ll see what I mean and I believe you’ll be glad you took the time as was I. I believe only then, wether by that method or another, you’ll have the answers you’re looking for. God bless and sorry again to hear of your loss. Very difficult to go through indeed. You might also contemplate and inspect, that wherever there is light, it has a source. Wherever there is darkness, there is never a source of it or for it.

Give these meditations a read. They’re oriented toward being without anxiety, by understanding & expressing, vs coping. I think one or two will really ‘click’ just in reading them. If you spend ten minutes a couple times a day with those one or two I think you’ll be glad you did. Be sure to release / express, and not to suppress (typically with the belief “something is wrong with me”). Also, understanding the emotions you’re experiencing, vs misunderstanding or potentially misinterpreting and directing thought toward yourself, is incredibly relieving and empowering. The frame work, or thinking behind these methods is that anxiety isn’t something one has, and has to combat, but an experience one creates unknowingly from collective conditioning and self referential thinking. The more it is seen & understood how one is creating it, the less one does, and the more one feels the true nature of love, peace and happiness via alignment with the true nature. Making a dreamboard can be a real life changing experience specifically in relation to anxiety. What was interpreted as fear or nervousness is realized to be excitement and enthusiasm.

@Frosty97 Curious, which psychedelics did you take which you’re comparing the sober tripping to, and specifically... on psychedelics, did you experience a lot of visual hallucinations? And feeling wise, did you experience more freedom, love, openness, release... or more anxiety, fear, nervousness?

Yeah. I’ve found fundamentals like diet, fitness, reiki classes etc to be very effective and honing. Not sure if you’ve experienced any purges or what your living / financial / age situation is, but I found long weekends alone in nature to open the valve full throttle. There’s ups and downs and a lot of clearing out but then it’s familiar and more comfortable, and again more honed. All very very worthwhile. Pm me anytime ya like.

Don’t go. Take your space, listen to your intuition and feeling. Look toward breaking that judgement cycle in the longer term too, if I might. I know it isn’t easy, but that’s what we gotta do. Can’t wait on someone else, cause someone else waitin on you.

Maybe review your techniques, find some opportunities. Have you tried no game in mind, just saying hi, chatting, being straightforward? If not, maybe try it, and then makes some comparisons between the two approaches. Also, if you’ve approached ten in a month, but are planning to approach ten per day, make sure you’re not taking the wind out of your own sails by thinking and feeling as if you have already been approaching ten a day.

@tuckerwphotography Maybe the term / word “meditation” (middle way) becomes an insight now, far prior to a label for a practice. Jesus said “movement and repose” (not or, as in two). I think of that as well, and it’s funny. Do you see the funny, or only the serious?

@tuckerwphotography Or when ‘all the world is a stage’, and spiral dynamics is just one act.

What is the ultimate fate of reality? Self realization.

? ? You just started a revolution.

There’s no one to integrate or take psychedelics. The conversation never actually defines anything. (Any conversation). If there is, that could be said to be ‘the problem’. No self, no problem. Psychedelics: ” “ Holding onto a problem, the solution becomes the problem. Upon looking, the hand was always empty, sans the imagined hot coal. The solution is always the next thing, until the next thing is letting go of the belief that there is a problem. Often, not a ‘fun’ thing to do, the more identified via ‘the problem’ one is.

As in proposed marriage, asked her to marry you?

I’ve heard there are even parts of the world where woman are genuinely attracted to men who treat them with insensitivity, or, as petty / subordinate, but ‘round’ here, it does not seem like racism & self diminishing thoughts attract anything.

Twoness, identification, believing thoughts and ideas. Only a problem for a thinker thinking. Love never minds, cause love never matters.

By definition in the usage here, it is a stage. What about when there are no stages?

Being a lens of focus of conditions, and an infinite being which becomes them, is pretty interesting, fun, carefree, and exciting. Like exploring everywhere without leaving home. The meaninglessness is the beauty, just as love, peace, happiness, and creator creating creation needs no reasons. Beauty, like love, is not just a thought, opinion, or experience, but causeless true self, or nonlocal timeless true nature. “Everything I do in this life” is still applying meaning, but sort of pretending you aren’t. If the lens created it “this life has no real meaning”, one can not be truly surprised in experiencing this life has no real meaning. The creator is prior to meaning, the creator creates it, purposefully, or otherwise. A dreamboard, meditation, and the emotional scale. But I’d say ‘made it prior’ to meaning, creation, thought & understanding, not beyond. ‘Beyond’ has the essence of a knower knowing, which sucks the deepest fun out of experience / being, and traces back to thought attachment / separation. (In this usage) A stage is either something you’re having the time of your life on, or something you’re mentally, presently, ‘stuck’ in. For there to be a trap to escape, is to believe one is in a trap to escape. It’s applying meaning, just not meaning which resonates with pure freedom. Nihilism is thought based. Sometimes there is the seeing through meaning experienced as a concern or a loss, because it’s thought based, and not direct experience. The mirage of concern is actually the love. Making a dreamboard is like retreats, etc... it’s all about the direct experience, yet less fleeting. If it’s helpful / useful with ‘where you’re at’, consider... levels of knowing can be said to be known, but not knowing has not the levels which were known. This imo was best captured and expressed by the most obviously woke person on the planet, Justin Bieber, who said, “my mamma don’t like you... and she likes everyone”. Know yourself as nothing, as not knowing without any thing to know. Yet feel yourself as true, truth, ‘real’ / eternal, being all that is. Most often nihilism is bypassing true and unique desires, for life, using existential concepts. The smallest, tiniest step in life, in the desired direction, however seemingly insignificant, is the game changer, and the beginning of an effortless Re contextualization of experience, and ‘what is’, or, ‘where you’re at’ life wise.

If you needed help you wouldn’t have a choice, but you do, and really it’s just like anything else. Getting help is you choosing to help yourself and get where you desire to get to. Take the path of least resistance.

@Javfly33 ?? @Lyubov Omg that was funny.