Nahm

The essence of being.

“Although I would like our world to change, it helps me to appreciate those nights and those dreams. But, my friend, I'd sacrifice all those nights, if I could make the earth and my dreams the same. The only difference is to let love replace all our hate.” - Mark Tremonti, Scott Stapp

They seemed like subtle uppers & downers, band aids on secondary symptoms of underlying emotional discord. Not for me per se, but some people swear by em though, so it’s really a matter of direct experience. If I were in your shoes I’d try L-theanine and Pharma Gabba. Significant enough amounts to feel & know the effects, not more than the manufacturer recommends. I’d continue meditating & expressing by writing or any creative interest, and I’d talk with a really good therapist, and ideally one well aware this is all mind who can quickly help you get to the bottom of things. I’d also eat (drink) this 3 or 4 days, having as many / as much as you want. Not a weight loss intention at all, but a purification, an opportunity to see the difference in comparison to whatever you’re eating. I’d of course talk to your dr, get blood work done, see what they say too.

@Thought Art Indeed. Sounds like the real Thought Art is standing up. You’re an endless Well of better & better ideas. Let go, empty of it, and you will see. This.

@BipolarGrowth "All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone." - Pascal But for those who do… oh my fucking God. Miracles.

Nutshell… you’re obsessing, focus wise. Get anything else in front of ya. I hope it isn’t heard offensively, but that is a lens, a framing. It’s ‘on you’ so to speak. There is no limitation to the number of ways you can look at such situations. One of them, worth consideration imo, is that you’re thinkin you know better than infinite intelligence. Brings trusting in the universe to mind. Unfetter of unfitting perspectives (suffering) like pairs of shoes that are too small (pain). Opportunity is fluid, not subject - object…. never ending, no beginning or end. Thought is subject - object. There is a bigger, more inspiring, more passion evoking opportunity already present, underway… but experience is one whole. One perspectival experience must be let go, so that the same substance (reality) can be the next. The ‘trouble’ is it’s like trying to see if the refrigerator light is on when the door is closed. Can’t visually see it. I don’t mean this sarcastically, but I really think it would help… hold a hot coal (or something similarly unpleasant) in your hand, directly experience the holding, the response, and the dropping. Again, no offense I really hope, but, drop that “in my ego mind” bs. That creates a false experiential emotional divide or distance. That in and of itself is subtle suffering. Own it, thus you can drop it. You are in control of how you feel. That is great. Though, I’d be much more picky with how you’re framing it up. That sounds like motive, avoiding unwanted, as compared to passion & inspiration of wanted. Focus on unwanted does not create. Focus on wanted is creation. If that’s ‘received’ - don’t think about it theoretically, actually, effortlessly, just for the right now feeling of it - focus on wanted. You are most worthy & deserving of feeling amazing and experience everything you desire to. Ok now I’m admittedly being obnoxious, but… you really wanna be with & work with someone like that? My man, you are the creator of this place. The ten thousand things are in truth unconditional. There is not a moment to waste dwelling & loathing. That isn’t you. It is not indicative of your magnitude or nature. You got this man. It’s a good wake up call, a great reality check. The very best is almost always at first seemingly cloaked. Hang in there, you will see, and it will be mind blowing. The greatest hardships in life make for the most meaningful inspiring lives.

@BipolarGrowth Losing ‘my mind’.

Sense pleasure is love, manipulation & judgment are suffering. There’s no such thing as loss, nor a you which could be “made selfish” or less capable of love, or further away from God. These beliefs = the suffering. Leo is your apparition, your mirage, the great favor, shaking you up & out of your slumber. See if you can recognize the projections onto him are the expression of your suppressions. It is good. See & feel the depth of the kindness, the purity of the goodness. The recognition one is judging, believing the thoughts over or instead of feeling / alignment, claiming One are two, is the liberation.

@Demeter Beautiful! Thanks for sharing!

No one is alone in the universe, everyone is whole & complete, perfectly fulfilled, as the universe (only thought is to / seems to be to, the contrary of this). This place is a literal expression of love, which is why meditation & expression, emptying the cup, is so key to connectedness, oneness, authenticity, and just simple real - happiness. You aren’t interpreting nonduality ‘wrong’, you’re missing that’s judgement, and that is fear. It feels off because it is way off. Nonduality is uninterpretable. The practices, like grounding, meditation, expression (not thinking) are the way of, to & as peace, love, understanding, & True happiness.

There is no causation / consistency to reality as convincing as it might seem, and no condition or withholding of this being shown to you. Impossible things can be experienced daily, but the more you share, the crazier people think you are. Like if I share that this bodymind & the sun flipped / reversed locality, you think I’m crazy. Then if I tell you I am crazy, you think that’s “a problem”. But behold, the glitch becomes the norm, like insanity is actual sanity.

Yep. ? In a nutshell, it’s because people project all their fears onto being alone, rather than ‘emptying their cup’ & realizing they made it up. Folks want to feel good (the goodness that is God), and unknowingly circumvent themselves / settle for belief / the surface level feeling of thinking they are good. Like “being Christian is good, so I’m Christian, I’m going to Heaven when I die, so I’m good”. It’s a settling for status quo, social inclusion, projected acceptance, assumed righteousness. This pigeonholes Jesus as some kind of recruiter for a religion / saver of souls / leader, and thus what he said, which Christianity was founded upon, is actually unfortunately, pretty much entirely, missed. The Bible also says what to do about this ‘knowledge of good & evil’ / ‘shame’ situation. God hung a flaming (the burn of judgement) sword (the truth that cuts through dogma & belief) pointing to the tree of life (creating consciously / the path of realization you are the goodness, the creator). I interpret this as when you experience what you do and don’t like, focus on what you do like, and as such you are creating it in your life, and well on your way to realizing the magnitude of which you are indeed the creator, the goodness that Is. You end up living the life you most want to & realizing you actually created the Bible, via apparently forgetting that you did (are).

“Whoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast, or a God”. - Aristotle

@OneIntoOne Change orientation from thinking, solving, trying to figure out… to feeling (‘grounding’) and you’ll no longer experience the disconnectedness of rumination. Have a look at the body-feeling awareness section, and self inquiry. Don’t be afraid to feel & express emotionally. It may seem scary and like the opposite of what would help if you’ve suppressed or avoided some emotions, but you’ll have some releases & breakthroughs and be feeling great. Also, don’t underestimate that to appreciate (anything) is to love.

@Purple Man Awesome. Just checkin. Gotta keep a close eye on those oompa loompa’s.

@BipolarGrowth Embodiment & baseline consciousness are abstraction. It is the un-actuality of these which keep the story of these on some distant future horizon going. I say this in love, and with the respect & acknowledgment that you are the creator.

@Thought Art Frame it as a lesson. Know The Guidance more so from the experience. Where it your burning hand on a hot stove, you’d have removed it instantly. If you’re serious about being on the path, that is the sensitivity realized in regard to the potential suffering of a single thought when it’s a hundred miles away. Allow this ‘lesson’ to transmute you to the much, much bigger picture. ? How can someone or something be needed when our infinite being has you always in it’s unconditional embrace… while you are literally creating your reality right now. Who could ever be so insensitive as to hold this hot coal of resentment.

@Seraphim Lovely. What is a “Ramana Maharshi”?

More Selfish = less “selfish” in thought. As in, that is all a story about a separate self which is a complete abstraction of thoughts / doesn’t actually exist. Actual Selfishness is indicative of The Self, and isn’t arrived at by actions or thought, but ‘fallen back into’ by letting go of those thoughts, and the retelling of the story about a you which lacks, has a past, it’s own good, sacrifices, has a being, needs to act this or that way, is empathetic, has other people around them, struggles, etc, etc. That is the story of the self, which is the veil of The Self. That ‘veil’ is literally made of The Self. To hone the opportunistic side make a dreamboard. What you write on it will manifest. Maybe start a business or company, or whatever you want to create & experience. The opposite of the apparent ‘true’ paradigm of having always been selfless is more accurate. The most impactful thing you cold employ, is the letting go of your own defensive, deflective and projective mechanisms, which means first experiencing these reactions consciously, demystifying, or collapsing, causation. Just like you write what you want on the dreamboard and the universe becomes it, then it’s a matter of ‘being in receiving mode’… the universe is literally being the response you desire in regard to your path. Are you in ‘receiving mode’?

It’s all already perfect. Creating problems through a ‘my problem’ lens is left at / collapsed with, yellow. Just an effortless ‘paying it forward’ remains.

Meditation. The bodymind rejuvenates by disappearing and reappearing.

That’s like saying ‘I never resorted to using a car’ when traveling a thousand miles. There isn’t a ‘my experience’ & thus the “bubble theory” is conceptual knowledge; there’s no ‘watcher’, no ‘spiritual awakenings’, ‘facts’, ‘we’, ‘aware space’, a ‘perceiver perceiving’, ‘absolute’, a ‘Godhead which perceives’, a ‘my resistance to them’, a ‘watcher/subject’, a ‘my true nature’, and thus there is no ‘obstacle’, no ‘paradox’, and no ‘I which lacks’. Welcome to the forum! ?

I agree there is no guarantee, but, also, in all fairness, there’s no ‘ overly complex ramblings from a truly ridiculous state ‘ coming out of Leo, so to speak.

By literally inspecting what ‘you test your’, or ‘your spiritual progress’ is, unpacking the concept, seeing what is actual there. That points to self inquiry, and collapsing the duality of a you and a your progress (a subject object thought). Meant lightly, but, while there is only one ‘source’, only the devil could ask such a sneaky question. Letting go of concepts about there being ‘your insights’ & ‘you mentally masturbating’. There is no such test or method. Rather, direct investigation & direct experience until there is very literally no arising question about who, what, why & how you really are, and about literally anything & everything in the entire universe. Might reference the observer ‘problem’ / double slit experiment, and realize the fallacies of ‘the speed of light’, gravity, general & special relativity and black & white holes. (Again though, just a pointing there, only direct experience, vs learning, understanding, or even realizing will do). The Ox-Herding pics might also be helpful just as another pointing frame of reference. And just as a point of interest, maybe even a joy (not a ‘test of progress’), when you read the Bible and it’s the most face value straight forward borderline comedic writing on earth, because again, the devil is funny like this. Unthinkable, incomprehensible, unbelievable, unimaginable, indescribable, unfathomable, un-figure-out-able, incalculable, indiscernible, and absolutely infallible.