Nahm

Reality is vibration. Reality is Mind. If I hold in mind ‘a relationship is for my needs’, I attract someone who’s vibration is ‘relationship is to fulfill myself, via fulfilling the needs of others’. I’d be a magnet to someone clingy & needy, and yet initially feel great about it, while unaware what’s transpiring. The vibration of ‘relationships to fulfill my needs’, aka to make me feel better / satisfied / whole, attracts someone who’s vibration is ‘relationships to fulfill other’s needs’, aka to make me feel better / satisfied / whole. ‘Attracts’ can be a useful lens while vibrationally being it is yet unhearable, do to identification. One can say others are projecting, and that is fine. One can say others are unintelligible, and that is fine. One can also ask questions, to understand entirely new & different perspectives. One can experience new perspectives, and new & expansive understanding, if one allows for this possibility. It’s as if one were holding a ‘for me’ (as the bodymind) funnel, and only what fits into that funnel is heard. Everything else gets held & kept outside that funnel. But one can inquire into what isn’t fitting into that funnel, what one doesn’t understand to no fault of one’s own, for not having experience of. Having a son from a previous relationship, and a great relationship with him, if my current wife spoke of him as the cause of my trauma, a ‘tool’ of manipulation via his mom, as a ‘mistake’, this would be deeply unattractive to me. I imagine him reading her words. I’m aware how he might feel. I might be in a pickle I wouldn’t understand or realize I am in, if my good feeling wholeness unknowingly thrived on fulfilling the needs of others, as aversion from feeling myself, so to speak. My wife might also find herself in a pickle, of trying to get me to no longer avert, to go within, while she is averting herself, attempting to use me to fulfill her ‘needs’. Even if, especially if, I spoke of my son as a source or tool of trauma, and as a mistake to my wife… it would be most safe, comforting, clarifying, and attracting, if she did not. If she thought of him, rather than herself… and of me, rather than of me as an object or means to satisfy her sexual & emotional needs, via her identification with the bodymind. Bodymind identification & it’s cycles of thought can of course be transcended, yet not from the same lens & understanding from the vantage of identified with the bodymind. The ‘other thing’ that can be experienced via relationship, other than just fulfilling earthly needs, is communion, oneness, transcendence, together. It’s a beautiful experience. Most beautiful. And of course, that’s what you’re already experiencing.

@Seed @Leo Gura I appreciate that, thanks and will do. ??

@Seed What would that be, how would that read, if I was? I suspect you think there is something I’m thinking but not saying…?

@roopepa You read me like an open book. ??

Well that’s the sheer profundity, and the absolute beauty of the situation. There is no should. You’re free. My suggestion, make a dreamboard. Allow that answer to appear in front of you (by writing what comes to mind on the board). It will come. And it will change too, again & again. You’re not a consumer. There’s no such thing at all. It’s a belief projected, stereo typing, pigeonholing. You’re creating that experience. If what you really want is to play video games all day, sincerely I mean this, do that. While playing, should anything of interest as to what’s next arise, write it on the board. Maybe a day comes where what’s on that board is of more interest than what’s on that screen.

Initially, yep. In hindsight, not at all. How’s his relationship with his son? How often does he see him? What do they do together?

@Vzdoh Somewhere there is one of God’s children who grew up seen by his father as a tool of manipulation. It’s on the mom though, yeah, right. You read this as if it’s about sex. That solution is simple and readily available to you, just have sex with someone else. You might however, run into the exact same problem again and again, because you’re attracting it. The message will never change. Neither of you have opened your third eye. You are the blind leading the blind.

Your scope & breadth of contemplation and your introspection at your age is outstanding. You are already very wise, as you think things through and seek more perspectives. My two cents would be to flip to the opposite polarity on that particular perspective (quoted above). I’ll say it in an extreme manor to really draw out the point… there is no such thing or experience as ‘unpleasant feelings’. Again, I’m being extreme. Utilize the emotional scale, incorporate it. Recognize it’s simplicity and importance, in transmutation. Jealousy isn’t as much about you and her, or anyone. It’s a pointing back to yourself, that you are unlimited in your creating. Through the lens of ‘there are unpleasant feelings’, this could be missed. Through the lens of ‘this is divine guidance’, there is letting go, and what arises, follows behind, what was let go. To some extent, there is a lens that you are this person, in a physical world. That’ll change over time, and the incoming realizations will flip that perspective. If ever I’ve seen someone looking to remain ahead of things it’s you. So this is an offering to that. Jealousy isn’t fixed, a given, a thing of this world, or ‘just how it is sometimes’. It’s a major pointing to truth, and to the role of us humans in creator creating creation. I don’t think you wallow, I think you use it as gasoline for desire. That’s great. Surely you’ve seen how one could wallow in jealousy, or any ‘unpleasant feeling’. I would consider listening to the whisper of unpleasant feelings… and take the cue to transmute. By transmute, I mean ‘up & out’. Something to empty of, that the new may fill in. The emotional scale is a simple and yet unsuspectingly powerful tool. If I experience even a hint, a whisper of jealousy, I want it, I dine on it, I want to incorporate every once of it - because what will arise in me when I do is yet again visions and dreams anew. There is a process I humble to, and in a nutshell it is the emotional scale. I do ‘reach for’ hatred & rage. I don’t skip it, and I don’t rush it, and I express it as authentically as I can. I’ll listen to RATM and hit the heavy bag. I’ll literally have my wife slap my face as hard as she can to get pissed off. It’s a win win sometimes. Then I genuinely express that anger, I feel the discouragement of it, I do blame someone, some thing, the world, and I feel the doubt & disappointment of this, and so on. What’s happening overall is we experience, we intrinsically & effortlessly derive preference, and we focus on the preference and let all self doubt go, and this is creation. We are not accidental, we are essential. We are love, creating, experiencing. Albeit seemingly subtle, the distinction between grounding myself in unpleasant feelings… and absolutely no aversion to the emotions I am experiencing - is actually paramount for a creator. Your bullet point list of what you’re planing to do is great. Do all that stuff. It’s wise. But - don’t forget to get that juice directly out of the jealousy. What a gift for you she is. What a gift for me you are.

For people who were physically or sexually abused, the notion of getting a girl pregnant and allowing oneself to be manipulated therein being a trauma is potentially offensive. If your words are indicative of his view, he is carrying the weight of the deflection. This holding would be a hurdle in self realization, specifically, realizing he is the creator of his reality. You have a vibrational match, though the content might be entirely different, the outcome and the resolve are the same. The discord with his being, if you will, was not caused by someone else nor by a happenstance or unlucky situation. To continue to think that way, is to continue to maintain the facade of control, while the best sex is the complete opposite. For you, ‘he controls himself’ flies right over the radar. Were I to point out that isn’t actually possible, because he is himself, would be likewise perpetuating the issue as it is deflected and projected as semantical or something of that nature, onto to Nahm, at light speed. You would have to be less that light speed to even notice. Your distaste for me and my comments likely only grows, while the inherent discord is nonetheless present. (I presume). Change your lens, your vantage point, your understanding, your knowing of who you really are. You wouldn’t even have to say a word. Your presence would be such that his discord becomes alignment.

Maybe intrinsic is a better word than obvious. Suffering can be hidden I suppose, under layers, but hurt can not. Hurt, pain, will interrupt a meditation, a contemplation, an inquiry. Hurt prioritizes intrinsically, takes precedence unequivocally. Doesn’t matter what is being thought about. I mean obvious like you could be unraveling the mysteries of the universe in your mind so to speak, and if someone punches you in the face now your attention is there.

(Sorry for butting in) That is precisely what it ‘means’. Goodness, good feeling if you will, is the Mother F’ing Truth! This is why some thoughts, about ourselves, about hate, about manipulation, about death - feel like one big hell no. Don’t look to ‘know it’ in thought, to “get it” conceptually, to “cognize it” - feel the goodness that IS. Prior to thoughts, unthinkably simple, Self Evident! Go ahead and try to ‘take feeling off’, like you would a jacket. Really try… and then check to see if sensation, if feeling, is ‘gone’. Check and check again and again until you are more sure (yet cognitively not knowing or grasping anything) of this presence of God than you have been or could ever be of anything.

I wouldn’t even contemplate it. How could you really? That implies there are layers to uncover, but with hurt there aren’t. A loose language pointer, but, it’s ‘supposed to be’ the most obvious thing in the world. Isn’t it so? But man has priorities, cause man believes man thinks past & future, and is finite. Man is thus ambitious. A slippery slope, inherited again & again. Look at leaders. They don’t talk about hurt. They don’t give a fuck. They want to be known & seen as leaders. Finite. The illusion of leadership. Get what I’m sayin? Wise fools ‘going deep’ with what is painstakingly () obvious. As obvious as infinity. As obvious as love. Even to ‘put yourself in the shoes of others’ is bypassing. It’s dumb in comparison to how obvious hurt is. But we all buyin the talk, the products, the plans, the solutions, the ways, the “help”, yada yada. We all thinkin & talkin about it, just like this right now.

God is not a separate entity, and you are not a separate entity or being, and yet you are not God, you are you. ANY time you ever check within, like “are you listening God, are you here for me”, you will feel & know (exactly as you are sharing you knew as a kid) God is ALWAYS there for you, rootin for you, loving the absolute bejesus outta you, infinitely showering you with love. Always & without any possibility of exception. God never questions your worthiness, deservedness, value, plans, purpose, actions, behaviors, etc. Pure unconditional. Your greatest fan. In this sense, prayer, meditation, yoga - it doesn’t matter what or how, or what we call it, when you ‘go to’ God, when you set time aside, God will melt all conditions away.

@Thought Art You’re welcome, hope it was helpful and much love ?. I’m apparently a metaphysically picky son of a bitch so I’ll add… even to embrace is too much. It imposes a question, like to embrace or not to. Even that is a duality. It implies you aren’t this beauty, that you could embrace it. You = what “beauty” is. That’s just a word, a concept, a pointer. When we’re saying beauty we’re talking about you my love.

It doesn’t mean anything.

@Vision It’s paradoxical. You have to probe a bit and see what it is, and yet at the same time you already know what it is. If you can embrace both those views it’ll inevitably clear up. Also, tension is body mind stuff, so you could do any or all basic body mind relaxation stuff, and check in on clean diet, exercise, etc. You mentioned you want to feel more loose and playful, the opposite of that is knowing as in being the knower. So also look for what you know, and bring the other end of the paradox, or the polar opposite forward. Be absolutely literal. Not trying to ‘pick on you’… but an example would be “it always feels like I have pent up tension”. There was a point so to speak when you didn’t, and that changed, and now there is the experience and the thought that you always do. That became a story… so literally just start telling the opposite story. Tell yourself, so to speak, I never feel tension, I’m always having fun. In a matter of days you’ll forget you ever told the old story. If the thought arises, like, ‘that won’t work’… I need something, some practice, treatment, substance, etc… then you have some info to probe with… if a remedy seems called for, it points to something which is held or believed which needs to be remedied, or just let go.

Also… it’s literally not possible to not be in first person perspective, if I understand what is meant by that term to you. Even if you are aware of thoughts, about what other people might be thinking, that is still from the first person perspective. With the entirely new experience you have going on, and all these suggestions… if I could draw out what is singularly most fundamentally helpful, imo it’s feeling breathing from the stomach. Consciously stomach breathing. Every system of the body responds favorably with relaxation and calm… peacefulness. Then the mind unwinds, slows down, relaxes. Then more perception and feeling are taken in, so to speak. The ‘trick’ is noticing it works. Notice you mentioned it worked. Be aware of that. Make a note of that feeling. Soon you’ll simply bring it to mind and the body will fill with it. This might not cognitively click, you might be thinking this is way to easy and simple to fix all these problems. But it’s like chopping a tree down at ground level, vs starting at the top and chopping a foot at a time. You’re going straight to the root and everything else, literally everything responds.

@AminB501 This might put you at ease… there are no new thoughts. There are no new ideas. There are no new teachings. There are no new, no original, no unique teachers. Every word, idea, teaching… is a regurgitation. One might realize / be aware of this, one might not.

@fopylo Yes. Just witnessing, observing, being. That could also be said as being without judgement, without conditions & expectations, without analyzing, etc … or simply just being presence, or shifting awareness from thought, to perception & feeling. Thought activity then settles, which feels relaxed and even connective. Imo it’s part of a slightly bigger picture. Often people try to go from a discordant emotion straight to a very aligned emotion, neglecting to let go of the thought or perspective which is creating the discordant emotion first. It can be tricky because there is often a reluctance for one to come to terms that one is creating the discord. Often the settling of thoughts into bodily relaxation is the key or game changer, then it can be seen when we are projecting, or, saying I feel this way because of him, her, them, the world, etc.

@Vynce You seem to be thinking pleasure is not you.

That would be not thinking about yourself. Be loving. Don’t care what anyone thinks. Don’t even take what you think seriously. Just relax and love whatever is experienced. Stop comparing yourself, trying to one up, be better, etc. Enjoy yourself. Allow other people to think and feel what they want. Ask people simple questions about them and their interests and just relax and listen. Relationships ensue.

Was that ‘skin in the game’ enough for ya?

@gettoefl I don’t know really. What would constitute ‘skin in the game’ to you? How would you like me to go about ‘putting skin in the game’?

(More of the same)

@gettoefl Likewise, with respect, you assume much about me.