YaNanNallari

As a quick way to tone down the issue I'd consider pros and cons of being arrogant. What does it give you and how does it hurt you? Anyway this won't take you far since you probably are unaware of how badly arrogance affects your thinking. Keep watching Leo's videos and meditate.

You don't have to like a single guy to be bi to a degree. I find my own fantasies to feel a lot more rewarding, comfortable and interesting than porn. Anyway don't fap too much or you'll lack energy compared to what you could have.

If it seems like she has no other options you can teach her some spiritual stuff. That's the way I look at it often

I'd try some sort of loving meditation. Just spreading that feeling to your body. It helps let go those negative thoughts

Don't play the awkward "I like you" phase if possible. Be sexual and sense from her what she's thinking and feeling. This way you can know if she likes you without asking and you can always express that stuff later on. If it's not a match it's not a match.

Well he sounds like a manipulative bastard. Granted that he might have his good sides, I'd just leave the relationship. You don't have to put up with that.

Why approach and look for people if you don't want to? When guys are good they have an easier time approaching and choosing who they want to be with. I think it's easier for guys to also keep someone they want as well. Even if it's easy for hot girls to find high status guys, the ones who really care about looks aren't the self-actualizing ones. Personally I can't be bothered to play the game of very low consciousness relationships. (I also can enjoy sexual energy by myself or without dating someone) What is there to even gain out of it that would be superior to just doing the consciousness work?

I mean it also depends on what you want to accomplish. I think figuring out what you're going for is important, and Leo has often encouraged a approach of going out there and doing things, so that you can learn lessons from it. For some things developing strengths is important and for others the strength is like the process itself. For example doing research gives you a strength of having done the research, whereas creating good habits and discipline can be important for doing the research. Of course your strengths can be developed, but what are your strengths for developing those? What are you interested in right now, that interest could be seen as a strength. There are many paths to same things and you can try to use what you have to get there.

For me gratitude is enjoying the beauty of the current moment. There is also gratefulness for circumstances, but it feels less relevant and more like a reminder that I have way more things to be happy than upset about. A reminder that I can "change" things and the joy that comes with that.

If I saw someone with dreadlocks I'd just be interested because it's not something I see often. Anyway if a guy likes her based on her haircut the relationship probably wouldn't last very well anyway, so I think her haircut is very irrelevant, unless it would be something very emo etc odd. I think it's good to not identify in certain ways too much, so for me hairstyle is something I like to keep quite natural, not trying too hard to be something with it. Personally I have my hair cut but I don't need to do anything to it. It is not really necessary to comment hers though.

(Imo) Our mind creates loneliness. When we see that we feel or think differently, it creates the seperation and makes us feel like there is something deeply different about others. It is ok if nobody understands you. It just means you have a different, completely valid perspective, than what you're seeing around you. For me developing self love was a good idea to getting my relationships better. I'd watch Leo's Power of self acceptance and do the practice starting around 8:20 if I remember correctly. After that watching this and the second part can be helpful https://youtu.be/abRaPYjb6mA In the end it was about recognizing and accepting the separation progress for me. And do know the warmness comes from within. It's already with you. If you have commitment issues which can definitely mess with belonging I'd watch Teal Swan's video on how to be committed. (Commitment issues can manifest in daily life such as career, not just relationships)

You seem to want to discuss philosophy. Or teach it. Or be a smartass. Instead of just spending some great time with her which she is more into. Being a snob is one way to distract yourself. If you expect a person to have no addictions such as her coffee thing then you must have really high expectations. The way to help her with that anyway is acceptance imo. Not telling her a bunch of facts about it. If she sees that you don't have to always correct her or explain theories she will follow your lead more likely. If she knows how you actually think yet aren't pushing it on her the whole time she will more likely begin to act by it. Besides, do you actually think telling her clouds are a part of everything actually makes her realize that? I don't mean this too seriously, but haven't you through your own practice seen at all how difficult these things can be to grasp or how irrelevant they are as just concepts in some ways? I suppose if your tone of voice is enthusiastic instead of snobby or arguing then you can sort of show her in the moment but still. And even if you and clouds are only concepts they can have their uses. Wouldn't it be more accurate to think of yourself as the body anyway? Since that is what everyone means by it. Of course it is only a tiny expression of everything, but when it comes to language and concepts you means your body and mind. Anyway if you seriously feel those things you're talking about and they're not just concepts to you then you can experiment relationships with people but you'll have a hard time getting a beneficial relationship with people because of your different level in consciousness. What I would have answered to her about clouds would have been "Yeah, and so are you". About time, I would have told her to maybe see her again. About myself I'd tell whatever I'd find relevant, or even silly stuff about me or my experiences.

So imo other girls probably "fall in love" because it suits their staying in comfort zone and they at least subconsciously want to stay there. Personally I'm a guy but I've accidentally learned to turn myself on almost like a switch. It's convenient because I don't have to worry about being very attracted to the other person. I focus on my sexual energy and how it circulates in my body and in seconds I feel turned on since I've learned how to control it a bit as well. How I learned to feel energy was advice something like this: it goes up your spine when you breathe in/out and down your stomach when you breathe in/out. Keep your tongue (or the tip of it) touching the roof of your mouth in a relaxed way to help the circulation. For the girls falling for fuckboys I assume they actually have their energy stuck in either their mind or genitals. Sure they get turned on but also slightly obsessed and sex won't be as good and loving. Creating a better connection sounds like a good idea. If it was me I'd create a good connection with myself and then share it with the other person while feeling how they're feeling.

I mean don't be so obsessed with her. She might not like it either. If she's playing games then she's playing games. You needn't be worried because you have your own stuff to do anyway. If you're fantasizing about the time with her then you know that can bring some good vibes, but it can also be a distraction. If you have a fear over touching her then that's cool. It's just a fear anyway, what's in it for you to give value to it or be insecure? (No need to identify with being insecure, or anything) You can do something safe and light at first anyway so don't worry too much, focusing on breath if you get nervous might be a good idea, you can expect nervous thoughts to come in but you're prepared and see them as just thoughts. I'd try to settle into my energy and feel hers as well. What is she feeling? Then as a guy you probably naturally lead how things will go based on your instinct. Don't think too much about it. Also it's not so serious, you're there to have a good time with her.

I watch the video, write down important things as I hear them. If I'm not understanding I will pause or replay that part. If I'm making notes that are more than one quick thing I will pause the video. You can after the video think about how you will apply the given advice to your life. What practical steps will you take to live by it? You can do the pre-mortem technique as well (which Leo has a video on). It is another thing to just understand theory and act upon it. Not acting upon it at least just slows you down and makes the whole thing more of a struggle. Not every video can of course be very practically applied but it's worth it to think about it. I don't necessarily make notes to review them later, I'm more focused on just writing down what I understand and find relevant. I do it especially to understand the concept better. I also have a list of tips for daily life collected from videos, especially if I'm frustrated or stuck. It also reminds of what I'm aiming for day to day and what my attitude could be like.

Romantic relationships shouldn't be considered a miracle not to be questioned. Applying meditative perspective to them is important if you want them to be truly good relationships.

I learned about the basic circulation of energy in a book and then paid attention to it for a while. One key thing to it was to have your tongue lightly touching the roof of your mouth, however it feels relaxed. This for me helps the basic circulation of energy. I can move it around as I wish as well. Honestly haven't had sex so can't really tell about orgasms. But I heard that it's good to try to relax your chest and stomach before it in the book. The book also advised to resist the urge to orgasm too soon and instead keep circulating energy for some more time.

Great to hear you recognized that. Our mind likes extremes. It likes to call the day a success or a failure. You can try to find an alternative between that. There's nothing wrong with being worthless. Being useless or useful is just a perspective to things. You can try to develop love for yourself so that you can do stuff with a bit more passion. Worrying too much won't get you doing stuff anyway and it might weaken your motivation for things.

What I would say is that one way to look at this would be that you see them especially as a woman and yourself as a guy. Letting go of identifying with a role and not seeing the other person so much as a concept would be helpful. Think that you don't have to be anything and in any way for you to reach your goals. When I talk to girls I see them as just other people and share my love and thoughts with them in any fitting way, but I'm at the same time not very interested in relationships. I'd act a certain way if I wanted a girl to like me in a more shallow way. If bonding with anyone is hard then it would be good to learn to bond with yourself first. Learning to be ok and accept yourself. Sometimes things learned in our relationship with our parents makes us naturally avoid closeness and bonding. Great to hear you've been trying. Keep at it and don't give up on things. Execute your plan. There are a lot of valuable lessons to be learned and you don't really have anything to lose.

I feel like kinks make us focused on ourselves instead of opening up to love. Just my 0,02

When I learned about energy and how it moves in my body. When I realized (and more specifically accepted) that everything I feel, see etc is only inside this body. This lead to realization that in the end the only relationship I can have is with myself. I know oneness leads to that solution as well but I feel like this is a bit different approach. Learning about infinity and seeing how that fits unlikely events. Realizing that everything, even when we're thinking about future or past, is happening in the moment. There is nothing else but the moment even if our minds creates that separation.

I got 3,17% lighter with way lower narcissism and higher psychopathy than average.

Honestly quit anything you can out of those. This acts as a reminder that you don't need them and your experience from before has showed them to affect you in certain ways. Anyway I like an acceptance approach from this video, there's an intro and I linked where the practice starts from. Because if you keep resisting it there's going to be something left out there and you'll either find another addiction or return to the same one after a while most likely. When you crave for some stimulation use feeling your body or breath as that instead of a smartphone or something else. Even though the reward is not as instant you will then feel the feeling without rejecting it and it will pass. Then it is much easier over time to do this, as you'll begin to see that the thought of having to use your smartphone or something else is just a thought and you don't need to take action on it. It also is a habit so if you open your smartphone out of habit there's no need to panic. Just put it away and feel your body even if you feel anxious. It might take some time for you to deal with this addiction so whenever you're discouraged don't worry too much about it. No need to judge anything. Just keep trying and remind yourself that you're doing good because worrying about things only slows down your progress.

I hope you've started doing some self-inquiry. It will help you be more open minded about this issue. I highly recommend at least a bit of it. If I were to explain someone what they are I'd explain how they cannot be the whole body since if you lose a limb you obviously are still you. Now they might say they're in the brain then or the brain. But I can explain to them that there are in fact areas of your brain especially responsible for the feeling of self. Once this is out of the way they can at least logically understand that they're an idea made by their brain especially since you can't pinpoint a line of self and other outside of one's brain. You've probably heard about the idea of oneness and all that so that is what's left. But questions to ask might be if you're just an idea then what are you actually? What is existence actually? You are a part of the world but the idea of you is just an idea, so what is everything actually?

I'm not sure what kind of blockages you have but I'll explain something. I'll try to explain this simply the way I see it (I'm not super good at this stuff yet). I think seeing beauty in things has to do with loving things. It's easy to think of humans as sort of beautiful and magnificent because we're so complex. When we're just looking at someone it becomes more easily obvious that we can't really put our finger on everything that a person is. With a mundane thing like your desk it can be hard to understand how it could be beautiful the same way. It seems to be just a desk. In the end they're all part of everything and limitless though and can be seen as a beautiful expression of everything. Once I realize this at least on some level it becomes clearer to me that the crushes, hot people and lust are just other parts of everything there is and I don't want to get lost in them. It makes me feel like I'm closing down to myself instead of opening up to love if I try to hold on to them. I think this video might help you understand what I mean by everything If you have some blockages or limiting view then seeing that they're just one thing among others we can hold on to in order to stay in some comfort zone. Be compassionate towards yourself and just let them go. There was some things in the past you didn't know and you thought in those ways for some reasons. Hope this helps