Gabriel Antonio

I agree with @cetus56 I think you need to find a way to release the built-up tension in your body. Otherwise meditation will drive you nuts.

I really like this quote. @ExodiaGearCEO Don't force positivity. Let thoughts come and go naturally. Observe them without resistance, and don't take them so seriously. "Let thoughts pass like clouds in the sky." Clouds can be beautiful, boring, ugly, interesting, etc. But remember: A cloud is just a cloud, no matter how you label it. Likewise, thoughts are only thoughts.

Psychedelics can kick out depression, but also trigger maniac episodes. In the case of microdosing, I only do it with shamanic snuff. It can work if you do it properly. Questions: 1- Do you have any other psychological problem besides depression? 2- Have you actually tried “mainstream therapy”?

@eputkonen Nice quote. I'd also add: "And there's no need to tell anyone it's just a game."

Spooky awakening @Ayilton Follow the numbers. Let me know if you still don’t get it.

Maybe you should switch technique or practice. I personally don’t benefit from sitting meditation. At least the techniques I have experimented. Have you ever tried Tai Chi or Qigong? They are sort of like meditation with motion. I really recommend.

Yes. A good therapist won't try to fix your problems, but instead be a mirror to your own self. When people are emotionally fragile, their self-reflection becomes very inaccurate. So therapy can act as a scaffolding to help the person become his or her own psychotherapist later on. Yes, that's a common trap. Unfortunately they are rare. Bad therapy is worse than no therapy.

I personally don't do that. When I am reading a very good book, I get so immersed in it that there's no room for other information. Otherwise, my focus becomes scattered and the books don't impact me as much.

@Jack River Let me get this right: are you saying that, for example, depressed people should deal with their disorder by themselves?

Yes, you're right. You do need help. You're exhibiting classic signs of depression. Don't fall into the trap of romanticizing it as something "spiritual". Throw all the silly advice people have given you here, and go seek professional help.

"The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown." -- Carl Sagan

I find this idea of “rebelling against the herd” very red and arrogant. Sure, you don’t want to be a chronical people-pleaser, but this attitude of “fuck other people” is just as unhealthy.

Some mistakes, especially if you're insecure, are part of the process. But catastrophic mistakes? I think not.

Sorry, but what you're describing is nowhere near enlightenment. That's actually depression in a nutshell. So, I don't think you should "go deeper". You're clearly not on the right track. Going deeper will only make this depression of yours deeper. And don't romanticize this by saying, "Oh... you need to reach the rock bottom, so that something magical and spiritual happens and everything will be wonderful." I doubt that will happen. There are some rare cases of this (like Eckhart Tolle), but it is very unlikely. This topic reminded me of a very good article called "Misconceptions of Selflessness". Check it out: https://jackkornfield.com/misconceptions-selflessness/

Maybe you are indeed doing too much. I also get the feeling you put too much pressure on yourself. Does that ring true? How long have you been doing all those things?

Yes, focus on the basics. For now I think you need to step out of theory, and take action. It's also very important to reconnect to your body. If you don't feel good in your body, it's very hard to function in this world. You know that feeling when you're playing a sport and you're totally in the moment? So... that can really help kick out depression. Think of simple and pleasant activities that make you naturally tap into the present. Truth is, if you stay in bed all day and don't move your body, you will feel worse and worse. If you still feel stuck and depression keeps coming back, consider going to a psychiatrist to get some medication. This can alleviate the lethargy so that you build momentum more easily to put your back on the right track. I hope you get well!

? Be careful. Make sure you’re not meditating neurotically (too rigid). Some crazy shit happened to me when I was doing SDS. Felt like body was dissolving. Ordinary reality seemed unreal. It was as if nothing mattered anymore. I thought I was awakening or something. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Actually I almost had a psychotic break...

It’s a very potent tool. And as with any tool, it can be misused.

@Soulbass Lol, pretty cringey topic...

That is a defense mechanism. Because the pain is so strong, your system numbs all emotions as an attempt to protect yourself. I like what @okulele said. Another tool you can use to open up emotionally and heal your inner wounds is psychedelics, especially ayahuasca. But anyway, if you can manage to cry with someone you trust — a friend, therapist, your mom, etc — that would really help you get in touch with your feelings once again. It doesn’t matter if it feels like you’re pitying yourself. Let the tears come. It’s not an easy nor quick process. Remember to go gradually. Little by little... You can’t rush your healing. Btw - Have you seen the movie Inside Out?

LP joke

The word “Leo” should be banned in topic titles... Leo did that Disproving Leo Leo has lost it etc All of those are sneaky ways to avoid doing the inner work.