Gabriel Antonio

Buy the booklist

You want a trophy? Lol

I just read the synopsis of that movie, and it seems very interesting. To me, canabbis can certainly increase mindfulness. In some of my best yoga classes, I was high. Hiking in nature also becomes much more insightful. I prefer to smoke on only some ocassions, because I feel like if you smoke weed too much and mindlessly, IDK, it sort of loses its, if you will, sacred power. Let me see if I really understood that part: so you're somewhat obsessed with cleaning, and you're also spending time seeing yourself in the mirror. I don't understand the last part though. Who are you creeping out with "intense eye contact"? Another thing: how are you feeling mentally? Does it feel like it was indeed a "mini psychotic break"? Btw - I don't think the guys you said were high on here are actually high lol

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Perfect! Here's from Wikipedia: Yin and yang describes how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they may give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another. @NoSelfSelf I recommend the episode "How to Be a Man (Part 2)". Really good episode!

Meh...

Be careful not to turn that into a neurosis, or even to use meditation as an escape. I used to do those long sittings everyday for multiple hours. Turned out, I wasn't becoming more aware. I was becoming desensitized to reality. Because I didn't want to deal with life, I'd think, "Screw everything. I'll meditate. That's the most important thing I can do in life." After a while, I became attached to meditation, thinking that I "needed" to sit in order to live a good life. Sitting upright for a very long time without moving can be very painful, especially for people here in the west who have terrible posture. Sitting for too long in an incorrect position can be unhealthy. But here comes the masochist thing: I started to enjoy the uncomfortable sensations that would emerge during the sitting. That is not a positive thing. It's like enjoying suffering. I'm not saying that's your case. I'm just sharing my personal experience.

Attention to breath is actually a concentration technique. After you have enough concentration, you start paying attention to bodily sensations. I don’t know where you live, but total silence is rare. I guess, you can focus on the silence in-between sounds. One thing I like to do is, to notice the arising and passing of sounds. This helps develop equanimity. Everything has a beginning, a middle, and an end. I usually do short sessions.

I agree with @cetus56 I think you need to find a way to release the built-up tension in your body. Otherwise meditation will drive you nuts.

I really like this quote. @ExodiaGearCEO Don't force positivity. Let thoughts come and go naturally. Observe them without resistance, and don't take them so seriously. "Let thoughts pass like clouds in the sky." Clouds can be beautiful, boring, ugly, interesting, etc. But remember: A cloud is just a cloud, no matter how you label it. Likewise, thoughts are only thoughts.

Psychedelics can kick out depression, but also trigger maniac episodes. In the case of microdosing, I only do it with shamanic snuff. It can work if you do it properly. Questions: 1- Do you have any other psychological problem besides depression? 2- Have you actually tried “mainstream therapy”?

@eputkonen Nice quote. I'd also add: "And there's no need to tell anyone it's just a game."

Spooky awakening @Ayilton Follow the numbers. Let me know if you still don’t get it.

Maybe you should switch technique or practice. I personally don’t benefit from sitting meditation. At least the techniques I have experimented. Have you ever tried Tai Chi or Qigong? They are sort of like meditation with motion. I really recommend.

Yes. A good therapist won't try to fix your problems, but instead be a mirror to your own self. When people are emotionally fragile, their self-reflection becomes very inaccurate. So therapy can act as a scaffolding to help the person become his or her own psychotherapist later on. Yes, that's a common trap. Unfortunately they are rare. Bad therapy is worse than no therapy.

I personally don't do that. When I am reading a very good book, I get so immersed in it that there's no room for other information. Otherwise, my focus becomes scattered and the books don't impact me as much.

@Jack River Let me get this right: are you saying that, for example, depressed people should deal with their disorder by themselves?

Yes, you're right. You do need help. You're exhibiting classic signs of depression. Don't fall into the trap of romanticizing it as something "spiritual". Throw all the silly advice people have given you here, and go seek professional help.

"The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown." -- Carl Sagan

I find this idea of “rebelling against the herd” very red and arrogant. Sure, you don’t want to be a chronical people-pleaser, but this attitude of “fuck other people” is just as unhealthy.

Some mistakes, especially if you're insecure, are part of the process. But catastrophic mistakes? I think not.

Sorry, but what you're describing is nowhere near enlightenment. That's actually depression in a nutshell. So, I don't think you should "go deeper". You're clearly not on the right track. Going deeper will only make this depression of yours deeper. And don't romanticize this by saying, "Oh... you need to reach the rock bottom, so that something magical and spiritual happens and everything will be wonderful." I doubt that will happen. There are some rare cases of this (like Eckhart Tolle), but it is very unlikely. This topic reminded me of a very good article called "Misconceptions of Selflessness". Check it out: https://jackkornfield.com/misconceptions-selflessness/

Maybe you are indeed doing too much. I also get the feeling you put too much pressure on yourself. Does that ring true? How long have you been doing all those things?