Pure Imagination

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Everything posted by Pure Imagination

  1. "Awakening is not about acquiring new siddhis, but realizing how to utilize the siddhis one already possesses." -- Pure Imagination (2024) Original insight by Pure Imagination with linguistic enhancement provided by ChatGPT
  2. This is the story of my life. Trauma is a great teacher because it shows you how your innate nature differs from the "normal" perspective of people (this is ignoring serious cases of obvious abuse). @Applegarden8 You have siddhis too, and you will find them with time. As you awaken, siddhis naturally unfold. Everyone has them, it's just a matter of self-discovery. Keep on the path of awareness and you will discover your siddhis naturally
  3. I understand what you mean. I feel the same way sometimes, but I'm also a carebear and I enjoy sharing my feelings of love with people. Thank you for the brotherly Love, the feeling is mutual. I'm a hugger so I'm sending you a hug if you want one ?
  4. @at_anchor Everyone unconsciously gaslights. It doesn't sound to me like you have a gaslighting problem. There are many people who make a science out of consciously gaslighting people for their own selfish benefit. I'm sorry to hear that it would be difficult to get away from some of your relationships. Hopefully this forum is a place where you find like-minded people that are more conscious. Maybe find people irl who are interested in things that you are and make sure that they are not overtly, consciously gaslighting you. Those people who are struggling with addiction I guarantee live in hell. Some of the most miserable people on Earth put on a persona of being happy all the time, but on the inside they are anything but. Especially if they are overly manipulative and controlling. That means they can't be openly honest with you about what they really want. Which is hell. No worries, you don't need to reciprocate at all. I just wanted to let you know that I'm a listening ear and wanted to help. I'm not expecting you to feel a certain way back to me in return.
  5. I'll be honest, I'm not stable but I read your posts at my discretion. I feel your pain. Someone who I loved dearly took advantage of me and gaslit me for years and only recently I had the courage to step away from that relationship. I would say that it is important that you even recognize that these people in your life are toxic, and if you have the means you should absolutely try to cut them out of your life. I guarantee you that there are good people out there who will actually take your best interests into account. Life downright sucks sometimes. I especially feel that way because I have crappy sensitive genetics that not many people understand. It can be lonely at times. But also know that there are people out there who are decent and you can lean on. Surround yourself with these people to create a support system. I have recently developed tinitus too that is tough to deal with sometimes. For me, it is usually caused by high blood pressure. Maybe exploring some blood pressure medications could help? Trust me, these people who treated you in this way are living in their own personal hell. Who needs hell when most people experience it here on Earth? Sending love to you man, from one struggling person to another. ❤️
  6. I found myself agreeing with most of the article, more than I thought I would. I don't think this six month moratorium being floated will be that effective. I think the argument for shutting it all down and heavily regulating it would be the only way to stop AI from becoming what we perceive as sentient and potentially killing all of humanity. And I definitely think it's true that almost no one is grasping the risks involved in this rapidly developing technology. I feel like the cat is out of the bag and for selfish reasons this technology will continue to develop quickly even if we suddenly have a huge change of heart and attempt to shut it down. I think the pessimism is warranted.
  7. This is a positive event. Presidents shouldn't be able to do unlimited illegal acts and not be held accountable.
  8. @Tanz You are making a false equivalence here. The right's rhetoric in this instance is much more problematic than the left. Take one look at Marjorie Taylor Greene's tweet, you can't find anything remotely as hateful and factually incorrect said on the left. Plus the Democrats have proposed legislation to limit assault weapons and to fund communities. The Republicans aren't proposing anything serious that will actually fix the problem.
  9. The way the right is demonizing transgender people through this tragedy disgusts me. I truly believe these are the beginnings of genocidal rhetoric. Seriously, change these right wing comments from trans to Jew and it's irrily similar to comments from 1930s Germany.
  10. @gettoefl I appreciate your kind words so much. Beautiful, transparent, and inspiring were never things I would have called myself so it is moving that you see me in that way. All I can do right now is take life a minute at a time while I recover, so I am very thankful to receive your support ❤️
  11. I wanted to start this post off by saying that I am an incredibly neurodivergent person. Spirituality, empathy, and sensitivity come very easily to me, and some people may think that's a great thing, but it is actually detrimental to my life in many ways. So much so that I have realized lately that it's been almost a spiritual practice for me finding out every day how much differently I experience reality compared to most people. It's quite radical; I can't overstate this enough. I am a guy who is very sensitive, so much so that I feel emotions so deeply to the point that it makes socializing extremely difficult. For most people, socializing requires some degree of holding back emotions one feels to fit in with whoever they are socializing with. Well I have almost no ability to hold back my emotions. I also have deep social anxiety problems, which puts many people off because I can't hide my feelings and they tend to think they did something wrong when I can't hold back my anxiety. And I experience anxiety with every relationship I have, even with my closest friends and family. So obviously I am a huge introvert and prefer to be alone almost all the time. So to the topic, I met a guy about five years ago who I seemingly clicked very well with romantically and sexually. He always showered me with praise, said how attractive he thought I was, and was always candid about the fact that he only wanted to be with me and no one else. On our third date, we played a game of twenty questions and one of the questions he came up with was "What is your biggest pet peeve in relationships?" When he answered, he said that he absolutely hated being lied to. Being the sensitive person I am, I took that incredibly to heart, so much so I had internalized that he was one of the most honest people I had ever met. He also constantly accused me of sleeping with guys behind his back, claiming that I'm just so beautiful that I couldn't stay with someone like him. This was absolutely untrue; I take loyalty very seriously. But he would always, seemingly jokingly, make these comments that I had to be cheating on him. I would always playfully reassure him that this was not the case; it is totally true even to this day that I have never cheated on him. Well fast forward to 2021 and we get married. I was so happy that I finally found someone who loved me and who I seemingly clicked with so well. One of my wedding vows to him was that I wanted our marriage to be based on total honesty with one another. As you probably predicted, things turned South very quickly. Midway through 2022, I started seeing sex apps appear on his phone. I confronted him about them several times, but he always just told me that they were never actually there and that I was just seeing things. I know myself better than that though, and eventually I found hard evidence that he had been cheating on me repeatedly behind my back. In a rage, I confronted him about it, and he still had the nerve to downplay the whole thing. He couldn't deny the hard evidence I had, but he told this ridiculous story that it was only urges and he never acted on the things I had evidence of. It was also at this point that he admitted to me that he had controlling problems, and that he is controlling me too much. When he first said this, I didn't even believe him. I never thought that this guy, who I thought was so honest and considerate, would be controlling me so much. I thought that he was just self-conscious of his own tendencies and that he wasn't controlling me nearly as much as he thought. Little did I know how much I was wrong about that. I found out in the months afterwards that he got a hacker to hack most of my devices. This hacker enabled him and my husband to spy on me constantly, spied on and altered my OneNote journals, attempted to delete the evidence I had of his cheating, and stole a nude photo of me and used it as a profile picture for a sex app. I confronted my husband about this and to this day he acknowledges that there is a hacker that is out to get me, but denies that he asked the hacker to hack me. Which is absolute bullshit as you can obviously tell. My husband during much of last year preyed on my sensitivities. He tried to instill beliefs in me like that I didn't listen to him well enough and that my problems were so bad, that I should look past his "problems" because my anxiety and depression were just as bad if not worse. But obviously those aren't the words of someone who is capable of a healthy relationship, at least with me. Now I just want to underscore that my patience with him reached a breaking point at the end of last year, and we are now officially separated, and that I will seek a divorce when I am ready. He is incredibly manipulative though and has tried to get me to stay with him, I assume because he thinks I am naive and easily controlled. Which may have been true for a while, but I now know that I have the strength and support system to end our dysfunctional relationship. So I guess the moral of this story is....I want to say to people here on the forum who are more conscious and self-aware than most people: the vast majority of people are not as conscious as you are. People are totally capable of taking advantage of your good nature. Learn to vet people. If I had trusted my gut about this guy on our first date, I knew there was something off about him. If I had just followed that feeing, I would have avoided years of this manipulation and gaslighting. I am glad I caught it all when I did because I was ready to drop my whole life and adopt kids with this guy. Now I know that will absolutely never, ever happen. I still question so many things about my own reality. I know it will probably take me years to undue all of these negative beliefs about myself that my husband helped instill to controll me. I am on the path of recovery, and I am holding my support systems tight. Including this forum. Thank you to all for reading and at the very least letting me vent. Hopefully you learned something from this incredibly painful experience I had to endure.
  12. That is a huge trap I have fallen into most of my life. I was born an empath and unfortunately developed into a people pleaser. And I tended to project onto others, assuming that they care about others as much as I do. It has been a tough pill for me to swallow realizing how rare those qualities actually are in most people. I watched this video of Leo's when it was first released, but it wasn't until recently that I grasped the depth of this message:
  13. Thank you for your videos. I watch them all.
  14. I have truly crippling social anxiety, so much so it gets in the way of every social interaction I have. I get this jolt of fear anytime someone tries to talk to me, or if they look me in the eye. (This usually results in me making a jolting motion, looking away from them, but immediately right back. Most people react to this tick of mine in a pronounced way that I notice.) Because of this fear, I seek zero social interaction. (I’m a 28 year-old male). With most people, I only socialize out of a sense of obligation. Basically, except for my husband, I contently don’t start up conversations with anyone. Even my parents and siblings. People usually talk to me first, or not at all. Now, don’t get it confused - I have basic social skills. Irl I have been described as pleasant and fun. I can tell if something I do or say goes well or bad. I’m purely talking about my inner state here. I don’t think I have felt true comfort while communicating with any human being - texting, calling, face-to-face, or otherwise. I deeply hate speaking extemporaneously, and most of the time I hate listening to others too. It’s not that I don’t find value in what they say, but it’s more that my anxiety outweighs any desire to socialize. Period. This aspect of myself is something I have tried to heal for years now. Don’t tell me I just need to socialize more. I have a husband I love dearly who is super supportive of me; I am not looking to get laid more. I’m looking for a solution where I can sustainably and reliably socialize comfortably. I am a highly sensitive person, and that surely contributes to my anxiety. These anxious patterns may have originated from my early childhood, but I’m not sure. It could just be my sensitivity, I don’t know. I do know I am hyper critical of myself and how I come off while I come up with words to say; I know my shame plays a role in this. The only thing I am interested in is a practical solution for me to stop living this way; I would be eternally grateful for any and all advice ?
  15. I have only really tried 5-meo once, back in 2016. I wrote a trip report on the forum linked below. It was the deepest awakening of my life by far. And it seemed to actually bring out my social anxiety more - almost like it was easier to hide before the trip, but 5-meo made it so I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I have been hesitant to try 5-meo again for many reasons, but if you think it has trauma healing potential it may be worth revisiting.
  16. It has been going on my whole life as far back as I can remember. It actually does happen with my husband, but to a much lesser degree. Probably because I have discussed this in detail with him and he is very supportive. It’s an across the board thing that I feel with literally every person.
  17. This is exactly how it feels. It’s such a crippling problem because you’re right, socializing is forced in life. Which is why I want to heal. Life is miserable when I hate socializing, but I’m part of a social species.
  18. I have dove into this issue head first many times. I have done numerous psychedelic trips trying to heal this problem, but I have yet to have any tangible results. If anything, diving deep into the feelings just make them happen more frequently after the fact.
  19. I agree. I feel like I can never show my true face because deep down I hate socializing, so instead I must act inauthentically around others. Socialization is necessary, so I feel like I have to put up a positive front even though I actually hate it. I have done a lot of work with various psychedelics (over 150 trips), but they have yet to help me much with this problem. They’ll get me into a positive state with almost no anxiety, but I can’t maintain that while I’m not tripping.
  20. I have been on various medications in the past - currently on nothing. SSRIs have helped a little, but I can tell they’re just a bandaid on a gaping wound. Adderall has helped me with social confidence, that’s probably the medication that has helped me the most. I would preferably deal with this without medication but I am open to anything honestly.
  21. Thank you for the response. This is definitely true, but the learned helplessness feels real to me. I have tried affirmations, journaling, etc to change this but to no real avail yet. Rest assured this issue of mine is something I think about every day - I spend most of my free time doing practices to heal from it. And I’m sick of having hardly any results from years of this.
  22. Thank you for sharing - I was not aware of this election. I hope other democracies follow suit by continuing to elect leaders who take climate change seriously.
  23. In 2009-2010, Democrats had a supermajority in Congress. Some blue dog, conservative Democrats watered down ObamaCare to make it the individual mandate system, a Republican proposed plan. Even though they went though all that compromise, Dems passed the bill in Congress with no Republican votes anyway. Health insurance groups ended up loving ObamacCare because it mandates that all citizens must purchase private health insurance. The insurance companies wouldn’t kill that bill in their right minds - it’s essentially forcing all Americans to purchase their products. Republicans were unable to repeal ObamaCare in 2017 because by that point, the propaganda wore off, people realized they liked the individual provisions of ObamaCare, and Republicans didn’t have a real replacement that would make prices more affordable. When ObamaCare was passed, Obama knew that the bill would withstand the test of time because it did legitimately reduce prices for most people.
  24. For me, this would be a great reason TO support Netflix. Social justice is society becoming more accepting of marginalized communities. Why would you say that supporting society moving forward is a bad thing?