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@Anna1 Not even that. I initiate the chat almost every time. Frankly, I don't like being just friends with women, cause my feelings surface eventually, and it becomes clear how I always want to be more than just friends. It feels like being dead, from her perspective. I can accept that it's over, but I'll tell you something which causes me suffering: I keep the doors open such that she can come and go whenever she pleases. I don't want to close any doors cause I fear that when she knock on the door, I might not hear it, and that would be a tragedy.

@Bill W This is so true.

@Onecirrus There is no absolute reason as to why someone would want to be with me or not be with me. There's complete freedom on their end. I wouldn't put down qualitative or quantitative factors which I've going for me other than my looks, because 1. I keep changing. 2. I am none of that, and much more than that.

I see what you mean.

There is this gross classification of men : Into nice guys and bad boys. How do I know if I am nice? And what does it mean to be a bad boy? I have some idea which I want y'all to clarify and put into perspective- Nice guys are those who have no boundaries, and are doormats who allow women to walk over them, or use them. Nice guys are not assertive, and will most likely be friendzoned. They behave nice as the term suggests. They do women many favors -Being a shoulder to cry on, listening to their problems, or being a friend in need or whatever. Bad boys are clear that they want to get into a girl's pants. They are assertive and could sometimes exhibit indifference towards women they know. Bad boys aren't friendzoned for they wouldn't tolerate being friendzoned in the first place.

In theory, I am everything. Non-dual consciousness. Why am I not conscious of everything?

Leo in one his videos quoted Zeena Schreck "Shapeshifting requires the ability to transcend your attachments, in particular your ego attachments to identity and who you are. If you can get over your attachment to labeling yourself and your cherishing of your identity, you can be virtually anybody. You can slip in and out of different shells, even different animal forms or deity forms" I don't think anyone here has done that. If you have, or know of it, Enlighten me and the rest of us who are interested.

If you know anything about the politics of the two countries - The only nuclear war there will be, will be on Social Media and the News. While there will continue to be border killings on both sides from time to time, with minor strikes and counter-strikes. Neither India nor Pakistan is like the US, where they could get away with almost anything.

@erik8lrl What would it take to be able to do that?

@Samuel11 You are addicted cause you lie to yourself that you want to stop jerking off. You are in denial that you allow yourself to jerk off. You point the finger outwards as if some external force is causing it to happen. When simply, it is you playing a trick on yourself such that you play the part of being a victim, while the other part of you proceeds to abuse you and enjoy the pleasure. It's your own doing. Your own plan. You are the devil who wants that titillating excitement and pleasure, but who tricks itself into thinking it doesn't want any of it. To fix this, Leo once suggested me to find a new healthy habit to replace it, but it could also be karma, so, you'd need more awareness. Awareness alone is curative if you could shine it enough on anything.

Yes, they are a cult as in, they have dogmas that they will indoctrinate you with, if you attend their lectures. Their Book is called " Bhagavad Gita as it is" which is heavily skewed with their founder Srila Prabhupuda's beliefs. The good thing is that they offer healthy vegetarian food to whoever needs it. Mostly without any charge. I was a born a Hindu, and I can attest that the mainstream version of the religion is polytheism and sometimes animism - We worship the Indigenous Basil plant and so on. It is not strictly monotheistic as these guys claim.

Identifying as a victim = You think and believe that something happened in your life which shouldn't have happened. The key word being "should". I always felt victimized when a girl would suddenly leave me for someone else. And when that happened, i almost always focused on external circumstances and how unfair life is. Being a non-victim as @Preety_India needs not expecting anything, which is the same as acceptance. And if one understands the impermanence of all things, it makes things easier. All Leo does, in my opinion, is tell the same thing, in multitude of ways.

Who realizes that there is no self? If no one realizes that "there is no self", then how can enlightenment be reached? It logically follows, that it is not possible for anyone to know whether they are enlightened, since for enlightenment to dawn, the self has to disappear leaving no one who could possibly know. And since language is dualistic, any enlightened person saying they are enlightened, couldn't be enlightened since their self is still operating through language. What comes to mind is the Buddha, who would stay silent when a such a question is asked, or throw in some zen koan. But I cannot grasp the idea of how the self will cease to exists, if everything else in the world stays the same.

This explains a lot of things in my life.

Try as I might, i have no women in my life who I regularly hang out with. And I get horny very often, sometimes jerking off 3-5 times a day. I am 24. Also, the women I have gone on dates with get flaky and uncertain about me, I get hurt very often as a result. So, I might give up on dating and on women for good, if i transcend those desires. How do I channel excess sexual energy without jerking off?

@Nickyy I don't know if this happens with just me, but within 7 days of not jerking off, I feel a physical presence of a woman on top of me, when i am half-asleep/ half-awake, but it is rare that I can hold off for 7 days or more. I've had episodes of sexual sleep paralysis before as well. When I was in college, at 18-22, I would regularly do it 6-7 times a day without much fatigue (I would stay awake till late night, alternating between playing games and watching porn and midnight snacks- Hedonism 101) . I wish i had that level of intensity lol. But as I become more spiritual, I can see how I could be happy even without women in my life, there is no need to struggle as such chasing after women. Life is good, until you start having expectations of how things should be. This is easier said than done, the new genres in pornography like Deep-fake, are too good to pass up on but i've had my fair share of spills.

@Lento Consider the possibility that she considers you as " Just a friend and nothing more" and says everything she says to keep you around as just that- A platonic friend. To see if that is true, you've to make a move. The way she responds will tell you if she actually likes you romantically. If she rejects you or acts flaky or uncertain, then she was seeing you as just a friend, much like most of her girl-friends.

Thanks everyone. 1. Sex at dawn. 2. Sperm Wars. 3. Michel Foucault - history of sexuality 4. The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature

I am not looking on book on how to attract women. I am looking for books which go into some depth into the history of human sexuality and how it evolved over the years. Sex at Dawn is one such book, i couldn't find any other. If anyone knows, i'd happy to know.

Let's say an enlightened person loses their job, their house, their family, their friends, their money, their stored food. All they have is two sets of clothes and they are on the street. Would he/she beg for food and money or would they accept it as the end of their life, and just sit back and wait for death to visit them? I'm asking this because i have this idea stuck in my head, that those who are enlightened have transcended their physical needs.

@Sirius Orion @Nak Khid @SoonHei Thanks for answering. I asked this yesterday. I don't remember.

@LastThursday It's funnier how we deceive ourselves into overlooking the obvious.

I am a porn addict, and also a Youtube addict. Below are my thoughts - 1-2 hours after I cut off all major distractions. ------------ " This is about cleaning myself off of the toxicity I've been indulging in. I feel content without achieving anything. Now that is something one wouldn't expect in theory. And this is just one- two hours into the commitment to clean myself off of toxicity. While on this path, I'm naturally drawn to meditation, or in other words, being grounded in the now. I'm making more observations. Looking at a second's clock for a minute. That's something. Wow. Higher consciousness itself is the bliss, you don't need anything else. Omg. Things are trippy when you start being aware. There's a lot more to the world than what you were previously aware of. How can I even suggest her to marry and find a guy, that won't solve anything for her. Trust yourself to do something which will reduce her suffering. Just a 4 minute song and it felt like eternity. This is the way to live if not anything. With awareness, knowing that you could be god, Immersing yourself into the experience. I'm just looking at how mechanical my hands look while typing, are they really mine? I mean, who am I really. Certainly, these hands don't look mine, and this concept of ownership seems strange to me. Again, who is this me? It is something that I used to refer to myself even if I am not that very thing the reference is supposed to point to." ------ Questions to those who are not stuck on low consciousness, 1. Is there a feeling of strangeness about familiar objects, a strangeness which accords a depth to them, which you probably didn't notice before? 2. Is the experience richer, not necessarily in terms of pleasure, but in the depth of the experience? 3. What do you personally think is something I am blind to (in context of what I described) ?

@LastThursday You are spot on. All the four points you stated as cause of my addictions are true.

@remember I tried to go through sex at Dawn which is written by a straight couple. And although they sound convincing on their own. Critics point out the inconclusiveness of the work. Is it all about perspectives? I wanted objectivity.