assx95

Ok. So do I sacrifice my own desires and not express myself?

I wish you could see how you could be happy without needing either a girlfriend or romantic love.

I consciously let go of the girl I loved. She ignored my message. Seen but no reply for 5 days. While complaining on an Instagram story, about how some guy she was interested in (not me) said that they couldn't be a couple cause she was fat (she isn't). Strange how it all works. The girl of my dreams whom I loved, seems indifferent to my existence. Honestly, I don't feel hurt, just a bit uneasy and concerned. I have already cried like 5 times in the recent past. I could disable my Instagram ( I don't need it) but that would actually hurt her ego and make her feel more unworthy and guilty if she thinks that I've blocked her. I'm not going to text her again. I think i'll just keep the app in case she needs me for emotional support. What do you think ? Disable my Instagram ( I really don't need it besides for her) or just keep it in case she needs me?

Yes. Sometimes. Yes.

@28 cm unbuffed I understand, Survival at play. She needs to have some high value guy validate her and fuck her. Sounds funny and ridiculous when I think about it. But we are all blind when it comes to our instincts.

I'm now wondering if all men are the same. Same here. I can say the same for her. The first time I told her that I love her, she was like- I'm not worthy of all that. Yeah, hearing your response, I'll just be there in case she needs me.

If you think she is the one and she is irreplaceable. And you are chasing her indefinitely, to exhaustion. And your life revolves around her. Then maybe this might open your eyes. When I realized (It was more of a vision) that romantic love and sex are intimately connected, that I could make love to the one I love, or love the one I make love to, it kind of unified for me, and the duality collapsed. I immediately knew that I am compatible with an infinite number of romantic and sexual partners, and even though i might make her the one, it isn't absolute. Leo was right about this. Sleeping over Leo's video on Love, a week later, it dawned on me, that heartbreak is indeed the sign of Infinite love. That if I truly love her, I would allow her to break my heart and leave me. I would give her Infinite freedom to do whatever makes her happy. Manipulating her, to stay with me, in any way, and not always do we realize we are manipulating, is like tying her up in chains. Maybe she likes BDSM, who knows. Lol. I have a theory that : When Men realize (I'll say it's subconscious for most) that women don't have their (Men's) best interests at heart, only their very own. Seeing that very selfishness of women, and blinded by their own, men adopt Blackpill and Redpill Ideologies. I'm disillusioned by romantic love, until I fall in love again.

I've come a long way. I have cried like a baby begging for women to not leave me, multiple times for the same women. I've tried to manipulate them into liking me. Bombing their phones with text. Being passive aggressive in my texts. Blaming them for hurting me. Until, I could see through it all. I've had my heart chakra open twice, it feels like cold breeze around the chest. And had an awakening about love (I'm not sure whether I'd call it an awakening) but I could actually see how I was loved despite my love rejecting me. It works for me now. It might not work for me tomorrow. Or for you. Or Anyone. Who knows?

From my personal experience, I've not learned how to maintain a relationship. Very tricky. It's hard to understand what the other person actually needs. Like what do you do when they ask for freedom. A kind of freedom which would absolve them from all commitment in a relationship. What will you try to maintain then? In my future relationships, i wouldn't try hard to maintain relationships, I would love them, and if they don't reciprocate, i'd let go with least resistance. Without being passive aggressive ( I did this when i was 20), without manipulating and without being angry. Easier said than done. But life is too short for not being able to let go.

The reason some men end up chasing just one woman, is that they think she is the one. Their only soulmate. And these are the same men, who jerk off to women on the internet they find sexually attractive, or who find other women sexually attractive. Notice how contradictory those two things are. A collapse of the duality between romantic love and sexual desire or sex, is what I describe here: That's one way to stop chasing after one woman. ---- The other is a bit tricky, it requires a kind of balance, i haven't mastered yet. It is a kind of awakening of love where you know that even her breaking your heart is a sign of love, a kind of brutal love which makes it possible for her not to be with you. A kind of infinite freedom that you could gift her to do whatever she desires. If such freedom is not given, then there is a lot of clinging onto, and a lot of attachment, hurt and sadness and not to mention, manipulation. Like men threatening to kill themselves if the woman doesn't accept their love or something similar. To know that the deepest way you could love her is by giving her infinite freedom, you end up not chasing her. @Preety_India I hope this is clear. I do think I could present ideas more clearly.

@Preety_India I've read everything you said. You haven't fully grasped what I was trying to convey and distorted it with your perception of how things work. If you read it again, and I highly recommend you do, you'd realize that I wasn't complaining of problems with women, I was trying to throw light on Men's tendency to chase a woman they fall in love with, and a possible way to transcend that. Now if you read your reply again, after you've re-read my post, you'd know. It's your choice btw, you're not obligated to do any of what I said.

There are no implications and no conclusions. The dynamic between the sexes is a flux.

https://www.diycaptions.com/ - Put the video URL in the box, and grab captions as text to download the video transcripts.

This is a very specific and intimate aspect of my life : I have a porn collection which is sexually irresistible to me. You could say it's a fetish. Now, i am addicted to jerking off to it. I understand two things in context of jerking off to it: 1. There is no reason not to do it. 2. Any reason I tell myself, to do it, is bullshit. What am I after? If i have the urge to jerk off, then I am after sexual pleasure associated with that very porn. When i am in the process of jerking off, it does feel like the sexual pleasure will fulfill me, but it's like a roller coaster, it builds up to the climax, and it swiftly comes down, which leaves me wanting more. And which makes me start another round for one for more hit leaving me exhausted and unfulfilled. I refuse to let go of that collection, and am hoarding it. Also I tend to think in terms of benefits and excitement - Like if i let go of the collection, will i be more fulfilled? The word "more" carries with it, the same vibe as I had before, even though I fool myself to think I'll be wiser to let go of it. My question to y'all is: How do I make a long term strategic shift towards being rather than doing without reasoning through it? if i use reason, It backfires, for every reason for me, is ultimately groundless.

I deleted it multiple times and then built it from scratch. Yeah, i am working on the motivation part.

I'm trying to think of it from a big picture perspective.Working on it.

@Rasheed Hey! Thanks. I have find to something I'm passionate about. And have a vision.

I'm a porn addict bro. I struggle with all these things myself. I understand how to learn, but I don't know why to learn, which is why I'm stuck. Even if you understand the concept, it is not enough if you fail to take action. Do consult others regarding this.

I remember Leo saying Learning = Observation = Behavior Change. Trust me, I remember a lot of stuff, but it doesn't help. To learn is to integrate the concept in your life, and checking for yourself if it works.

https://www.diycaptions.com/ Put the URL of any video in there, and select - Grab captions using text. Then you will have the transcript in a new video which you can copy-paste to where ever you keep notes.

Use DIY Subtitles and download the transcripts. Eliminate the use of the word "Should". I make notes which are relevant to me. Watch the videos on topics you find relevant to you. Hoarding notes won't do shit. You have to integrate it in your life for it to work. Even if you implement a simple video of Leo's like Lifestyle Minimalism fully. The effects would be thousand fold. Don't underestimate what a simple concept can do to your life. All the best. You can always ping me regarding this, or post on this forum.

Thanks @Anna1 for starting this thread.

@Anna1 Today I am the victim. And here's what I am telling y'all - Nothing in the world could replace what I've lost and no one can. The universe is eternally in my debt and it could never pay me back. All suffering Indeed is from attachment. But why would everything conspire to attach me to her in the first place? (Falling in love). And if I was the one who conspired, I wouldn't break my own heart. All paths lead towards death but I resist mine even though there isn't anything to live for. If I accept death, I will forgive, if I forgive, I will forget, and if forget, then all of it was for nothing. And none of it means anything. Life then is death itself.

I'll make it concise with a clear context : Known her for 3 years. Went on dates. Long-Distance. She broke up. I tell her how much she means to me. She ignores. She reaches out to me after a week. We text as if nothing's changed except that I don't flirt now. More than a week has gone by and no text from her. Here are the concerns in my mind: 1. What if she wants me to initiate and reignite the spark in the relationship? 2. What if she's moved on, and that's how relationships look like when a person has moved on? 3. What happens if I just leave it at that, and miss out on what could have been a wonderful relationship, if i just tried a little harder? My questions for the readers: If you are a girl, and you were in such a relationship dynamic, would you reach out if you were interested or wait for him to reach out, or is this the end? If you are a guy, would you move on or try a little harder?

@Anna1 Thanks a lot Anna