Shin

@Toby "Your god doesn't exist" "How can you be sure there is no god ?" The two questions to instant trigger almost anyone

Find your life purpose, until then, don't drop college and work hard to get the degree. If your 100% sure of what you're purpose is, and if you're sure it's not your ego trying to manipulate you, that it comes from your intuition/inner wisdom, then you can drop college. Do some retreat and some hardcore meditation week end on your own, that will help a lot.

It's what they enlighten in you that matters, not which one is more deep into the rabbithole, it really doesn't matter. After a while, teachers doesn't matter anyway, only you can find the way.

I had thoughts of doing some stupid things just for that. It's the only way to meditate all the time without having to do anything else when you think about it

The only way out of suffering is through meditation and awareness. The situations you think are bad in your life, that's all in your head. Either you face your negative emotions or you don't, there is no magic pill, sorry.

What kind of competition ?

So I was thinking a bit about my experience with women, and I realized that during the year before high school (like 14/15, don't know the US term) I had an easyness to get girlfriends. I had like 7/8 of them, half of it I didn't even tried anything, it just came naturally. I was wondering how that could even happened, because I was very calm, reserved, not really that funny (sometimes I was). Now, when I think about it, most of these girls were pretty introvert, or at least, enjoyed a lot their alone time, so maybe that's one reason. Apparently, I was very detached about outcome when it came to girls, I didn't really cared about them, it was just nice to have fun with them. That was before something really crushed my self-esteem really hard and make me fear social interaction. Is it possible that confidence and detachement alone can be enough to attract girls ? It seems like it, sometimes I didn't even realize they liked me until they invited me to their home or hinted at me they wanted hugs/sex, I just thought we were friends Paradoxically I was too much of a pussy to engage sex, but I guess that was because I was still a virgin and very young, the pressure was maybe too much for me, I don't know.

Ok, I'm doing it, I'm going TO DIE, NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. EDIT: Still a human being, still can't fart rainbows and turn water into vodka

They don't have any concepts, they can't live in past or future. They are basically child all their life, which is why they are so awesome and loving !

The level of confidence you get when you drop an addiction is so high that it snowball very quickly (coupled with consciousness work). If you can quit porn and masturbation, every other addiction will be so easy to drop, it's unreal ... It just takes time, your psychee won't allow you to do everything at once, otherwise it will backslide big time. Just so you have an another example, that is what I've been able to defeat in 10 months (since I started to meditate). I was in a very bad shape 10 months earlier, one of the most neurotics and anxious guy you could meet. With so much fears and insecurities that all my thoughts were negatives and self-destructive. So, If I could do all this, this little "I", who was so weak and fragile, each and every one of you can. It's just a matter of time

That is to expect, but if you did consciousness work, it shouldn't bother you too much. You would just watch yourself thinking and acting stupidly, but it would be funny to you at this point.

The tranny zone looks appealing, no crazyness and maximum hotness !

The Power Of Now is all you need to awaken.

Yes and no. https://www.eckharttollenow.com/new-home-video/default.aspx?shortcode=vx6itm

When you help someone, and they ask you why you did it.

To me, the lyrics are about reality, not women

Quit porn first, simply brute force yourself to not watch porn and masturbation altogether. You don't need to masturbate, you'll have wet dreams every 1 to 2 weeks, your body will do the job all by itself. Don't add or supress anything to your life untill this has been dealt with, otherwise it will be quite easy to backslide. You can do it in one go, don't listen to people who says you can't (If I did it, anyone can ). Why quitting masturbation too ? Because every time you'll masturbate, you'll think of porn, this goes together in your mind right now. Even if you weren't addicted to porn, you should stop masturbation anyway, cause it sucks you A LOT of energy (and like I say, the body will ejaculate when it needs to anyway). Overthinking is dealt only after a long sitted meditation and mindfulness (watching your thought and trying to be present at least 5 minutes a day) streak. So do that after having dealt with the above addictions

Everytime I start a meditation (you=god):

Such nothing Much nothing WOW NOTHING !!!

... You just have to believe in it. It's that simple. If you don't believe you deserve happiness, you won't. If you don't believe you can ace that test/job/career, then you won't. If you don't believe you can be at peace, right now, you won't. If you don't believe you can be attractive/confident, guess what, you won't. If you don't believe you can start a successful business, well, you won't. If you don't believe you are already enlightened, yeah, you got it, YOU WON'T ! NOT IN 10 YEARS, NOT IN 1 YEAR, NOT IN 1 MONTH, NOT TOMORROW, NOT IN 2 HOURS, NOT IN 1 SECOND

I don't know what to do anymore. Seems like the only thing there is to do is to have faith and ask silently what we are until we know. I don't care anymore, if I have to sit all day doing nothing, so be it. @electroBeam Don't worry, it has nothing to do with my level of happiness/peace, I'm just being pulled by it, and there is nothing else that feels interesting enough to pursue than this anymore

For those who would argue that "If I was enlightened, I would be aware of it, I would see everything as me, everything would be spacious blablabla" NO ! This is not how it works, and this is why past and future are an illusion too. There is nothing outside of the present moment, except that you've never been there before ... All the meditations, retreats, whatever you've done, you've never been in the present, Because if you did, you would had an enlightenement/awakening experience already. Do you realize what that mean ? That means everytime you meditate, or be mindful, you're not present. You don't, you think you do, because there is no thoughts, nothing, but even there your mind is running the show ... It is still there, inconsciously trying to get "there". Even when you're very "present", there is still a tiny bit of it, seeking, or manipulating your experiences. SO HOW DO YOU DO IT ???!!!