Shin

?= mobile forum sucking again Legs don't agree to stand up. Legs are not your slave, filthy upper body zen devil ???

Nofap in one single meme:

You wouldn't watch porn if you get to that point.

I should start to walk again after every meal like I used to months ago. It will ease the digestion, and it's also one of the thing I like to do the most but aren't doing (for some reason ). I need to study dopamine, I want to see what kind of hobbies I could have with the lowest dopamine gain, so I would continue to work as hard as possible on what I'm supposed to, but at the same time having some fun. I noticed that it's not good for my productivity to always work or doing consciousness work, it actually makes me want to slack more. Also I need to think of buying the "Multi Orgasmic man" and the book about Rationality exercices for David Kahnemann. Self-inquiry was again interesting today, I focused on what is in control. Watching my fingers moves and wondering what is in control of them is what I did. After a certain point, I couldn't tell if I was moving them or not, I was just aware that they were moving and that's it. At the end of the session, when I was petting my dog, I was watching the hand moving all by itself (for a few seconds then I stopped suddenly). I wondered about the sense of doership, and realized that everytime I feel like I'm doing something, it is always AFTER I thought about it. If I don't focus on something, and my body or mind actually does it, I can't say I was doing it because I wasn't putting any focus on it, so how could I did it ? There is some things I think I do and some other things I don't, but how could this be the case, shouldn't I always feel like I'm doing it (or not) ? What I did: 40 minutes reading "The Righteous Mind" 90 minutes of meditation 40 minutes of Self-Inquiry 5 minutes of affirmations of being honest 20 minutes of work out

It will be as hard as you want it to be.

First get to the now, then complain about the what

I lasted 42 minutes ? The 2 minutes after the 40 minute mark were insane ? I will try again tomorrow

Ok, I'm going for it. If I lose my legs or die it's on you though

???

??

See the pattern, You're all alone

It's in english too ??????

My old demons almost got me tonight. I heard about a game that was release that I was waiting for more than a year, 3 months ago when I quit this addiction for good. I was very close to buy it, prior to that I played for 30 minutes a game that was very similar. It may look stupid from an external viewpoint, but for me it has always been my biggest addiction (from age 3), and not just a soft one, a hard addiction, like I couldn't do (almost) anything else just 1 year ago. It distracted me so much my whole life, to the point it obscured all my inner issues and desires. Whatever addiction it is always the same, but the hard one you can't come back to them, it is way too risky. I directly put in perspective the time I could play versus the time I could study and improve myself, and this allowed me to not go overboard. There is too much at stake to fall off again, too much untaped potential to waste all this precious time on something that doesn't serve my purpose. I have so many things I need to do to make it right, so many things to learn to put all the pieces of the puzzle in order. There is no more time to lose doing things that doesn't help me achieving my goal. I can see how this dream could become a reality if I give all I got I know it can and WILL happen if I don't give in and face all the discomfort. There is too many challenges ahead that will be way harder than those I had Every seconds I lose distracting myself is a wasted opportunity to become strong enough to face them When I think about it in the morning When I picture it in my mind How amazing and beautiful it would be I can't stop crying You know this feeling When you know you're destined to something And life test you every step of the way Just to see if you really REALLY want it Well I do And I will never stop Even if it takes 70 years It doesn't matter anymore I WILL DO IT !!! What I did: 1 hour of meditation 30 minutes of reading 5 minutes affirmations about being honest What I didn't: Self-inquiry Work out

I don't use a chair, I do the position I showed some posts ago, and my back is straight

I can't not focus on it anyway, it gets way too painful after 20 minutes. I see what you mean, but I don't hate or love it, it's just there.

In one sit like in the picture without having the right to move at all. I will be honest and slap me for you if I don't

Well yeah for sure, for some people it's risky and not healthy at all, but as long as I don't see any drawback on my health I will continue to do this, just to see what would happen Tomorrow 1 hour is the goal, you can slap me if I don't

Seeking mystical experiences is the same thing as seeking the best porn video of the day, seeing the new blockbuster movie, a new relationship, or using recreational drugs. Still a craving, still an escape from yourself. Seek the real thing and dismiss everything else that looks like it untill you're 1000% sure that you realized the Truth.

But the more resistance you have to it, the harder it becomes to let go right ? So in a sense it makes the let go part comes "faster", because the physical pain doesn't let you continue if you don't.

And to start using a weelchair for the rest of your life

Today I realized I needed to know some things in the future. One is I want to be able to save someone in danger, so I'll need a first-aid certificate, or learning what the certificate teaches for free somewhere else. Linked to that, I want to know how to protect myself and other people, so I'm interested to learn Krav-Maga. I realized this when I saw someone falling down at the end of a classe in college, I had no idea what to do except calling the emergency assistance. If that would have happened somewhere where I couldn't use my phone that person would have been dead. This person could have died either way, depending on what kind of problem she had, but if I had first-aid skill, at least all the chance would have been on this person sides. Knowing how to protect people with Krav-Maga is about the same thing, just in different contexts. The dream I had this night was kind of interesting, because it touched a subject I rarely thought about. I had a boyfriend in this dream, and I was a male. In the same dream I had a girlfriend just before, and it was the same person. Not the same person in the same reality though, it was just the same person with a different gender in a different dream (within a dream ). I had no problem or shame at all with it, as well as when I woke up. Now I never have any romantic attraction to a guy, nor that I ever been sexuality attracted to them as well, but you never know It was so beautiful that I would 100% surrender to it if I ever have resistance to it in "real life". In the afternoon I had a class that teaches us various miscellaneous skills. This time it was about how to search for relevant scientific studies, and we get to watch this video … Even if you aren't friends, you can guess what it is about, it is SUPER funny I laughed my ass off for the entire video, so much that I cried We also did exercices on rationality and perceptions. It is amazing how much deception there is. I plan to study this on the side, there are books from David Kahnemann about it. I don't know which or if it's the best kind of books that you can buy about this though. What I did: 20 minutes of work out 50 minutes of meditation 5 minutes of affirmations of being honest 30 minutes of reading What I didn't: Self inquiry