Shin

It kind of feels like that. I'm confused with this model because I'm supposed to be at stage 2 (no mystical experiences, just glimpses), but at the same time I recognize myself in the later stages a lot.

This actually happens almost everytime I sit to meditate or when I try to sleep. Fuck ... ???

Something I wrote on my journal today: I can see now that all that ever happened in my life was about to raise my consciousness and to learn to let go. So there is nothing to regret, and nothing to cling to (since the present suffering is actually helping). Nothing to cling to, because if you carefully look back, and make all the connections, you realize that all the suffering and struggles was necessary to come to this point. So everytime I suffered in the last year I always wondered what the suffering is trying to teach me, what should I do (or not) next, and of course once that is cognized letting go is way easier.

Wednesday The mind tries sometimes to push me to distract myself. Especially with flashes of playing Pokemon, but I know how this will end already. It's only 30 minutes as a way to have some fun ! Why not playing as much as I want, I already done everything I was supposed to do today Why not play a game I really want to play, and not just an old game because I do not want to pay anything (emulator) But yes, paying is too much I can't allow that, so I'd rather play Gwent (addictive f2P card game) But Artifact looks better, but oh wait I need to pay 250$ to have the full collection every 3 months, but hey it's my only hobbie so it's fine lol no, I know all the tricks, I'll just do nothing until I either become crazy or become interested in another healthy and non-addictive hobby comes along. I can see now that all that ever happened in my life was about to raise my consciousness and to learn to let go. So there is nothing to regret, and nothing to cling to (since the present suffering is actually helping). Nothing to cling to, because if you carefully look back, and make all the connections, you realize that all the suffering and struggles was necessary to come to this point. So everytime I suffered in the last year I always wondered what the suffering is trying to teach me, what should I do (or not) next, and of course once that is cognized letting go is way easier. Body 20 minutes of work out <<<One walk (not long)>>> Mind 45 minutes of reading and comtemplating the Trinfinity Academys Enlightenment Course Soul 1h of meditation 40 minutes of self-inquiry 45 minutes of reading and comtemplating the Trinfinity Academys Enlightenment Course 3 hours of taking notes and comtemplating the Ox video 5 minutes of affirmations of being honest

A conversation between the Ox Herding Pictures and Spiral Dynamics

Yeah, tease us and say nothing, what an a.. ??? I hope the punchline is worth the bad sitcom lives we have, don't disappoint us ?

I did get it ?? Oh boy, I wish you're right, that all this suffering, all those events that comes to crushes us aren't just random, but are here to awaken us ?

That sounds impressive, I need to see that with my own eyes ??

I was implying we're all Jesus in disguise. Wine is old fashioned though, cola and Redbull seems more likely nowadays though ?

I wish I could love like you do.

Drink those coca-colas, and let me save your sorry asses ?

Never give up. We believe in you ?

Leo has 3 letters. 3 = 666 666 = illuminatis Illuminatis = capitalism Capitalism = Donal Trump Trump has russian origin Leo is Russian ... … Trump and Leo are the SAME PERSON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! … ...

Is it possible to be at Stage 5 without mystical experiences and Satori ?

The Truth

How do you know anything about that ? How could you know anything about something you never experienced ?

??

Tuesday My heart is becoming quite scary nowadays. Everytime I'm alone for some time and am a little bit tired, it starts to feel weigthy. That would be kind of nice if it was just that, but I feel like it can explode at any moment, my mind is quite scared that something extremely painful will happen, or that I will die. I don't know if it's health related, or a defense mechanism of the ego to not go further, I'll have to check with a doctor (that I need to see anyway). Aside that, this afternoon I got a deep sense of "dream state" while being at the library. It felt like being watched from behind, looking at everything happening, including me, and everything was totally free and made at the same stuff at its core. The funny thing are they are still subtle glimpses, even though the realization are deep, I don't even know how that is possible In the evening I got again some light samadhis while having fun with some friends, and I even got some glimpses of no-self while eating there. Body 20 minutes work out One walk after lunch (not at dinner) Mind 25 minutes of reading (this and this), bought Being Aware Of Being Aware from Ruper Spira, but wanted to buy the one on Leo's List (No idea how I bought an another book ). Soul 40 minutes of meditation >>>No sitted self-inquiry<<< 5 minutes of affirmations of being honest

Does it help you in any way to regret anything ? Or do you only feel pain and loose time ?

At some point you don't even count and don't remember because it becomes natural ?

For how long ?